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/bet/ memes > /sp/ memes edition
shaking for a Mackers PUNT sub-edition
Previous >>64297181
>Helpful links
http://pastebin.com/mDAydpyK
>/bet/ wiki
http://slashbetslash.wikia.com/wiki//bet/_Wikia
>FAQ and abbreviations list for those new to /bet/
http://pastebin.com/tPXwjDi6
>Help for gambling addiction/suicide hotlines
http://pastebin.com/SVqUYKbf
>/bet/ approved spreadsheet for tracking your bets
http://www.aussportsbetting.com/tools/betting-tracker-excel
first for profiting in Asia
First for Euan having reconstructive chin surgery soon.
Absolute duckhead
Reminder if you aren't putting £50 on Vincent Kompany FGS before Arsenal v Man City game you are doing it wrong and should give up betting forever
lads lads lads ;)
its friday yet again! what we up to tonight? ;)
>>64307550
Is that Solid Snake?
O3.5 kraut slags game
>>64307591
>he isn't on Bersant Celina
>>64307604
Pmsl unders the bet. Frankfurt tez this season, UAC level staking + and unders every time they play
>>64307591
I put mine on Pablo Maffeo yesterday before he got taken off the list, should I quit betting forever
>tfw the only time you can bet on sports is to bet on horses on the track in the summer
Land of the 'Free'
>>64307591
>he still has a 365
Wish summer bet would fuck off t bh
>>64307633
>he doesn't have friends to make him 365 accounts
>No more EAC games to keep me warm at night
>>64307633
>not being unlimitable
tears
lmao
>>64307657
>tfw no submissive azn qt gf
>>64307633
>not knowing the postman method of constant access to accounts
>>64307676
tears
>>64307676
Is this actually mackers's car
>>64307656
>he hasn't gone through every family member, friend, friend of friends, neighbor and teachers 365
zzz summer bet
>>64307676
Any half decent lawyer can get you off with paying fines like that.
>he hasn't asked his line manager for his bank details
>>64307706
Im at C in the phonebook desu
>>64307706
>he doesn't kill people and use their details to make fresh 365 accounts
>>64307695
Aye
>He hasn't seduced a bet365 staff member who turns a blind eye
>>64307591
but what if he's picked
is there really no chance
>>64307711
>Avoid £50 parking fine
>Pay lawyer £200 minimum to do so
I don't think so shlomo
>he doesn't sleep with men in exchange for clean 365 accounts
>>64307790
Then you better hope you scores first.
How much are you selling your 365 account for?
>>64307550
>>/bet/ approved spreadsheet for tracking your bets
>http://www.aussportsbetting.com/tools/betting-tracker-excel
Beyond complicated
>>64307790
He's confirmed out injured
>>64307591
Sorry friend I was too shrewd and got on a much better option before it was removed. Perhaps you are the one who should give up betting forever.
>>64307832
Who did you get on? Kompany is out injured so no way he plays
>>64307614
>>64307627
>>64307832
6 and half a dozen lids no need to get so touchy. Not everyone cares about a poxy £50 risk free to stake days in advance. But thanks for the easy yoos
>>64307803
>How much are you selling your 365 account for?
make an offer
>>64307941
Give you a tenner and a couple of Mars bars
>>64307619
...
>>64307749
>he hasn't bullied 365 chat blokes into obedience and free moneys in dire times
do you even value?
>>64307604
C O M F Y
small on osnabruck @6
they need 3 points like A I R, odds dropped pre-game and are dropping now after they conceded
>>64308049
Stuttgart need 3 points like A I R too, they haven't won since September
>>64308049
>>64308087
this ends with a draw desu lids
MASSIVE DANGER
>>64308117
zzzz already posted
cant believe there's two of you pushing this dire gimmick
In light of Asianodds being complete amateurs, what other services are similar?
>>64308087
they don't need points lad, my inside source tells me they're in a cult and commiting mass suicide within a few months
i'm also on o1.5 @2.4 in the union berlin match from HT, call me crazy but i see it as a coin flip this one t b h
>>64308252
Post Betfair p&l
>>64308097
>>64308087
osnabruck absolutely dominant since after they conceded
stuttgart trainer already mixing up the poisonous concoction they'll use to reach the astral planes in the locker room at half time
Do you even NHL?
Carolina - Florida 2
Pittsburgh +2 - Boston X
Washington - Tampa Bay +2 X
Winnipeg - NYR 1
You're welcome.
>>64308272
Please have sex.
>>64308378
Was actually watching this match with /bet/
>>64308378
I remember this;
>Chelsea team is pretty strong
>NYRB team is all reserves
>everyone backs Chelsea for that value
>they get BTFO anyway
>>64308378
Trigger warnings please, you fucking cunt
whats the Holland slags bet?
>>64308406
>I remember this
it wasn't long ago.
>they get BTFO
Except HT backers
>>64308406
>>64308406
I remember it a bit more vividly
>Chelsea team is pretty strong
>NYRB team is all reserves
>Going LARGE
>Dominate fh but just missing chances so rebacking more
>NYRB sub reserves for 16 year olds
>reback some more
>Chelsea shit the bed and I end up DAFC
>>64307631
I'm an American and can LEGALLY bet from the comfort of my phone TEARS if your in a 3rd tier state m8
>stuttgart suicide pact as predicted, conceded right out of the locker rooms
>union berlin bringing in oxygen and hope
looking good, keeping the oxygen mask on for the remainder of the berlin match, not quite there yet
Evenin' BetBuddies.
Brest @ 2.4 desu
>>64308642
Please go to reddit.
Still a little shaken from having Rockets Lakers O194.5 last night lids.
>>64308642
1-0 Brest :^)
>>64308766
?
>>64308820
Reddit. They have a betting section and you would fit in there more.
https://twitter.com/lucyjxmes/status/677910655555510272
>chelsea fans
>>64308642
on 10£, looking good
>>64308867
Why are Brits so obsessed with turning everything into a song?
>>64308909
*laughs*
PGA?
PGA IS MY HOME BROTHER!
PGAAAAAAAAAAA!
PGA, WHERE I FIRST LEARNED HOW TO BET,
MACKERS DROPPING TIPS LIKE HE MAKES THEM GIRLS WET,
LOSES SOME BETS, GOES DOWN A CUNT,
BUT YOU KNOW A MACKERS TIP IS ALWAYS WORHT A PUNT,
TALKING ABOUT MY HOME PGA BROTHER!
THESE OTHER TIPPING GROUPS ARE JUST FAKE,
MACKERS DROP YOU AND MAKE YOU SHAKE,
FUCK ALL YOU HOES TRYING TO EAT MY BANKROLL,
DONT MAKE ME MAD OR ILL PUT YOU IN THE HOLE,
SO SO SHREWD, HE IS SO SO SHREWD
HIS NAME IS MACKERS, HE WILL LEAD US TO RICHES
ALL OF HIS FUCKING HATERS, ARE SCARED LITTLE BITCHES!
Cardiff SW trust me
>>64308929
Got some black guy on fiverr to rap this btw, will post on Christmas day.
>>64308959
Have you heard it? Does it sound correct?
>>64308959
please make sure the beginning is perfect anon, most important part
are you gonna slap a beat under it family?
TNS - TNS HT/FT @1.9
been waiting ALL DAY for a game to come in play and it hasn't
I am RAGING
Got a £5 free bet, lads.
What do you think of my selections? Could net me £860
>>64309047
Southampton/tottenham will be a draw
>>64308942
I just did BTTS and Shalke SW dbl desu
>>64309028
Why?
>>64309059
Interesting. That would get me over a grand.
What about the other selections? They all seem solid enough apart from Leicester/Everton which is hard to call imo
Lokeren v Zultte, In-play.
Zultte just scored a peno and have now just got a man sent off. Markets haven't opened yet, keeping an eye on it. Lokeren are pressuring though.
>>64309163
>red cards don't get factored into the price
Begone child.
>90 minute equalisers
lovely, least it was a small but missing long odds by a hair's length amplifies the pain
>>64309180
>assuming
>>64309195
No its fact.
>>64309214
wtb
What have I done wrong here?
I can feel it in my waters that Jon Toral will score.
>>64309292
You didn't choose the Niners
>>64309292
you fell for a meme
>>64309292
Staked too little.
Bet365 removed today's matches, rip
If you find a bookie with odds for Colombia-Paraguay and Uruguay-Chile I can say if they're value or not
When should I be looking at in-play basketball overs/unders/handicaps?
>>64309358
Which sport
>>64309390
ping pong
>>64309398
>tfw no swedish ping pong tips
Can't stop blowing off
>>64309426
Not sure what you mean by this desu mate
Can't stop trumping
>Brest
>tfw no gf
Futsal
Shagger
I put money on birmingham nice and shalke all winning. Birmingham have been pretty utter shit, did I fuck up?
>>64309390
Is this the new gimmick? Not sure how I feel about it
>>64309599
There is still 45mins+ on all games left to play m8
Guys, i found a fool proof way to make money on table tennis. Just bet on the chinese guy.
>you will never follow a Gooz tip
feels good
>>64309740
:^)
so many slugs in Kurts group now
zzzzzzzzz
>>64309812
How many are in it? Is it any good?
>>64309830
133 atm
I'd say it's worth it. Hasn't been a bet in a couple of days, but its's certainly quality over quantity (something Mackers needs to learn tbf)
>yfw you realise kurt and is simultaneously shitposting on a british proxy, advertising his group and then coming here on his maltese IP pretending he's not an oldfag and asking his british proxy to stop leaking tips
what a mastermind
>>64309830
Good bets, shite comments
#slugs
>>64309888
LOVE to test danny robinsons chin
>>64309888
How do all these people in all these groups make money after fees? Accounts get restricted after about 2 bets and hardly any are in Asia.
>>64309914
>after fees
Kurts group is a fiver m9
>>64309888
>ittttttt
>>64309914
>Accounts get restricted after about 2 bets
zzzz
If your accounts go in 2 bets, you are either doing something wrong, or staking literally thousands at a time and therefore won't need to be on these kind of bets
>>64309913
This.
Mackers just PMd me on FB. He has an insane bet lined up. Special stake. Info is untouched. Shaking. Should be up in about an hour.
>>64309974
k Joe
>>64309974
Hi Joe
Alesha Dixon SO fit
>>64310001
pmsl, not Joe. I am his mediator between /bet/ and PGA cause he knows I post here.
Gonna try to work out some agreement so we can work together instead of being at war.
Would love to know the eye watering amounts that Joe is up
you now remember when joe gave the UCD info to luxton but couldn't get any money on himself, and luxton then took the acclaim for such a world world bet from his followers and gave joe zero credit
>>64310025
Joe isnt up that much. He stakes too conservatively.
Euan is probably up more at this point.
>>64310037
Lux said he would stake for him but didn't
>>64310007
>niggers
>fit
ok mate sure. Love to test your brittle little chin.
>>64310054
zzz
What's Mattis up to now? Left his job to bet Lux/mackers bets and was making a decent living from it. Love to know what employment he's in now.
I know you read this thread Mattis so please, make yourself known.
>>64310072
>pointy ears
>crap hair
>horrific Christmas jumper
>javelin arms
2/10 would not bang
Just made it to 50k profit for the year. Over the moon :^)
>>64310099
Post betfair p&l
Only averaging £59.22 a day so far this month zzzz
>>64310094
Overdosed :(
>>64310094
He's working in a KFC.
>>64310094
I'm working part time in a pub atm, nothing too fancy.
>>64307524
Imagine not being on this
>>64310144
490/day here
zzz
>>64310097
>javelin arms
had a good chuckle
>on o154.5 in the ludwigsburg match
>looking hopeless, suddenly OT
>OT sweaty as fuck
>suddenly 2nd OT
A I R
>>64310072
Hard to believe she's 37.
Halfys age so well
Need a Morton winner like AIR
goddamn darts is fun to watch. World championships on now. Pallet is looking good and will probably win it. Still the underdog.
anyone need a cardiff goal? If I put money on Birmingham, they will score. It's almost a guarantee at this point.
>>64310316
can you put some money on birmingham for me mate
>>64310316
No pls m8, I have money on birmingham and im praying they dont fuck it up
monroe confirmed out lads, absolute tears if you aren't lumping SUMS on the warriors spread, they'll eat em up
>>64310346
here you go.
>>64310349
sorry. Cardiff goal incoming.
>>64310366
>>64310366
You have come in at the final moments of 2015 to steal the award for 'Worst /bet/ gimmick of 2015' well done.
>>64310409
This, as someone who has put in beyond EFFORT bringing some of the FINEST gimmicks to /bet/ over the last couple of years. I am DISGUSTED and REPULSED by this LAZY, FLIPPANT so called gimmick.
>>64310366
>>64310395
this gimmick is a danger, a significant danger
>>64310444
>>64310409
Dangers the pair of you
>>64310358
reminder that the odds are slashing like a motherfucker and you aren't getting on the mainstream SPECIAL
let me make it quick for you
>gsw went back to usual and bucks went back to shit
>monroe and home crowd were huge factors in the bucks win
>probably don't have to talk about motivation here, warriors will run up the score like the vengeful niggers they are and bucks have completed their mission when they broke the streak and will bend over
i don't even think waiting for in-play is rational at this point
>>64310478
You're a real danger you know that lid?
James Mckeown
19 December 2011
*Girl*
23:17
Awww bless him yeah! Just hope she turns out right for him! Haha but hay he's not intrested in me anyways just wants fun with me and wants to get know her more! Haha soo alll good but FairPlay to em both! So do ya drive
James Mckeown
yeh got a punto, u?
*Girl*
Nah I don't ATM soon tho lol
Shud come pick me up sometime baba wink emoticon
Chat conversation end
Getting scared now fuck sakes she would honestly break my banjo, not keen.
>>64310494
>break my banjo
what did he mean by this?
>>64310530
lol
>>64310478
unders could be a decent bet, no way the bucks get near 100 points and steph will sit out the 4th quarter if its a blowout
>>64310530
rip your frenulum on your knob
i can tell you from first hand experience it's not nice.
>>64310493
it's dangerous not special steaking warriors lid
>The rematch between the Golden State Warriors and the Milwaukee Bucks has received a great deal of attention. The Warriors have publicly shamed the Bucks for their celebration after the victory, with reigning MVP Stephen Curry telling reporters that his team does “remember that stuff”.
curry absolutely fuming, can't wait to shit on a nigga
So many MASSIVE DANGERS in /bet/ right now.
Same amerifat who bet on birmingham nice and shalke. It was a soccer special on bovada, how do the bookies make money off this if there is an only a yes option? are they just risking to lose a lot of money?
Also pic related
>>64310597
>le trying to force a shitty meme man
Please go out tonight find a bird and have sex.
>>64310574
On with an EXTRA LARGE. Will be shaking during the entire Star Wars showing at the mountains of shekels awaiting me when I leave the theater.
>>64310703
They make money because usually one of the teams lets the bet down
>just realised it's only been 10 days since that late unibet withdrawal of 50 euros arrived after losing my roll
>it was the day of the utd in-play offer and i hit that 3-2 cs for 200 euros
>now if gsw cover i'll go a bit over 1k
it's like a dream lads
>>64310710
Cheers for boosting box offices figures lid NEED it to rekt Avashit
>>64310747
Don't worry lid, will go again on Sunday. Bookies CLUELESS.
btw, trinidad is on, sando vs police, last round sando shipped 6 and police scored 6, i think several fellows here got on the right side of the train, line is at -1.75, taking it medium now, hopefully we'll get an even rball early and the twitchers get on the +
wew lads, gonna be sweating more than usual today.
supposed to get to 44°C later today.
>>64310822
Shaking at the thought
>>64310822
shit forgot to check the conditions, rainy weather and an ''uneven and cutting up'' field
reckon police should still win by 2 but i'd be careful, unders tempting but sando's defence is horrible so it's a tough one
>you didnt get on pallett in darts @3.50
>>64310836
Spew
>>64310822
After 5 seconds of looking at Soccerway I see 0 chance of this losing. ON HUGE.
>>64310873
Unreal composure from the lad desu
>>64310912
i got on him early. Then he looked to lose so I closed it angrily. Then I go back to bet365 and I have the winnings. Nice surprise.
>Deposit
>Already down more than half of what I deposited
Gotta learn bankroll management better.
>>64310941
Darts so stressful, must be good to trade with the way odds can move so much
>>64310941
Darts so stressful, must be good to trade with the way odds can move so much
>>64310910
last game was a bit funny, sando were closer than i hoped for in attacks and shots but still conceded 6 and didn't score
don't think this is bad for us as it speaks about the lack of quality and will most likely affect their motivation negatively
already 4 shots in 5 minutes lel, doesn't look like the pitch/weather is that bad
>>64310964
just bet 2%. Gets you 50bets if they all lose. Don't go for massive wins, it's the surefire way to lose it all. Don't try to make it an income. Just do it for fun and to make games more interesting.
>>64310964
just look for tips online (from here or covers.com,etc) for a whole month while you making imaginary bets while keeping track
eventually after making imaginary units, you can make real bets and win
MVG 1.005 to win
kek
>>64311019
Ayy
Go for highest checkout o. 118.5 @1.83
>>64311019
going LARGE on an MVG & Golden State double @ 1.01
>>64311019
got on rene for $1. lol. He might come out and BTFO of MVG at the start and I can bet on him . If not, I lose $1.
>>64311042
topkek
>>64311019
If anyone can get 1.01 it's genuinely value. It's a 1.001 shot.
>Kurt stealing and tipping Slovakia his tip
Embarrassing tbqh.
>mara only opening a couple handi markets on police
b-b-but muh tenners, i need to put more in
>>64311041
le yellow fever dane
>>64311146
Reporting you for tip leaking lid
>not taking eidams u0.5 180s
o-ok police I'm ready for the goals
IMAGINE if it drops to -1
that rball is downright disgusting, shaking at the thought of how many goals the cheeky sandos concede
>inb4 rain doesn't stop and water goes to waist level and it ends 0-0
>>64311199
He's had quite some 140 so i wouldn't go for it.
>>64311192
Would love to test your greasy cheetos coated chin lid.
111111111
MOUNTAIN A I R
woop woop it's the sound of the police woop woop it's the sound of the police woop woop it's the sound of the police woop woop it's the sound of the police woop woop it's the sound of the police
K U R T
>>64311307
Is this game in Asia or yet another bubblegum rball bet?
>>64311199
I told you so, toque
>>64311307
>yfw i'm actually kurt's third persona after himself and the fake brit leaker
>>64311331
zzz
>>64311455
>dackers on
fuck off lad i don't need no curses
>25 quid a month to follow an addict's bets that he gets off a trinidadian cocktail making website
>>64311523
he's not on, he has no bookie accounts.
>>64310094
This actually made me reback. It sounds like a mistake desu
>>64311523
wasnt it a tenner a month like 10 months ago? And he was more profitable back then
>>64311538
had me worried there
wonder how many shots on target can they get in t b h, they did come out really hungry in the 2nd the last match if i remember correctly
1 more before HT would alleviate muscle spasms
fuck. eidams won a set? was paying $9 +2.5. Was tempted to put money on but backed out.
TEARS
stupidly huge loss chase on Police
if this loses it's all over desu
>Police efficiency
>MVG
I AM P M S L
MVG @ 1.015
SHAKING at this value, BOOKIES CLUELESS
can someone post that "life without gambling is nothing" picture?
>12 shots on target
>1 goal
oxygen
NEED 3 second half police goals. Heads already gone.
EIDAMS LEGEND
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajCol_PGIQ0
>mfw this underdog comeback
MVG ON SUICIDE WATCH
turning off browser, too sweaty, checking back in about half an hour
>he didnt bet $1 on Eidams
>>64311727
wew lad bit overboard on the line. rball was surreal but you taking things too far
>>64311811
Could have got 100+ on bf you absolute danger
>>64311811
It was 220 on BF
lmfao paddy mcguiness
Darts >>> any other sport
S H A K I N G
>>64311884
>darts
>sport
>>64311912
zzz
Get a life you absolute danger
Eidam put up a hell of a fight though. Still got up on over 5.5 180's. Eidam coming back won me that one.
>7 nation army starts playing
who is this cumrag interviewing big eidams?
>Suddenly /bet/ is an expert on darts when there is nothing else on
>>64312013
you're welcome. I'm loving all these low sports. Lawn Bowls is tons of fun. now darts.
I'm on overs on Guptill in NZvsSL (I'm on a halfer atm)
Day 2 is the best day for batting. Ball isn't swinging or seaming, runs to be made. if Guptill doesn't get them Kane will.
such a weird looking bloke van gerwen
>>64312013
Nick Goff @nickgoff79 Dec 17 Stratford, London
Anyone who watches first 2 rounds of the darts is trying too hard. Bunch of unknown fat chaps bunging 26's & 41's. Last 16 it gets watchable
Clueless
Police goal when
>>64312126
Got a bad feeling about this
>>64312146
Special stake on this because of dacers, will cry if lost
>>64312045
wew might have to double up
Guppy is going bonkers
police fc giving me a squeaky bum
>>64312167
>>64312146
>>64312126
>0 shots on target since halftime
its ogre
>>64312201
yeah I cashed out
Imagine not being on Mount Union -6 tonight
Police pls
Don't do this Police, I've had the most awful week. Don't do this to me, I don't deserve to be down this much, I'm a good man
