![317665-lionel-messi-gestures700[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2pM7Sa0.jpg "317665-lionel-messi-gestures700[1].jpg")
ITT: we poorly describe players and others try to guess. Starting with an easy one:
>my best quality is backheel passes to the opponent
>>63830360
Nikica Jelavić
>He likes putting Italian guys in their place
boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
>>63830474
Pique
>>63830360
Fabregas?
>he slips. A lot.
Dribble horizontally
>>63830596
Slippy G
>>63830642
le cut inside man
Slides on his knees and salutes crowd
>>63831874
Drogba
I do stepovers then pass the ball backwards. People still think I'm the GOAT.
Fucking trannies
running into box and dramatically throwing myself down is my most effective scoring technique
It's simple, I cut inside.
I miss a lot... Hey, I got lucky.
>>63831922
Hazard
>I am famous for my hair
I miss 97% of my free kicks
got a fukin shit load of trophies scored a shit load of goals >still seen as a disappointment
>>63831940
Hulk
I would score 1000% less goals if I was literally any other team
Im also the most over rated striker in the last 30 years
>>63831999
torres?
I was called a prodigy when I was 18 but I turned out to be a massive disappointment while playing for my country.
>>63832003
>1000%
*90%
>i literally score over 50% of my free kicks
>>63831999
Messi
>>63832003
Donaldo
>>63831937
Romário
>>63831937
Ronaldo Nazario
>he blackmails his friends and spits during the national anthem
>>63832028
who scores over 50% ?
>>63832028
Willian
>>63832028
Black Willy
>>63832020
Freddy Apoo
quack quack
>>63832110
I was actually talking about Rooney, but he counts too.
Passes it sideways.
>I'm from a poor jungle country and have ugly haircuts
>>63832180
Gervinho.
>>63832123
is he still around?
In Milan he had a car with the colors of US AIR Force
>>63832180
Gyasi Zardes
>>63832180
every brazilian without short hair or an afro
>>63832187
That should be I'm bald.
>>63832180
SuperJew, the failed champion
>All i do is pass 5 meters sideways and people think im the best midfielder to ever play football
I get assmad when players don't shake my hand despite pulling my own hand back in an attempt to make the other guy beg for my hand
>>63832268
Busquets? Xavi?
>>63832282
mou?
>>63832268
Pirlo
>>63832302
Would fit as well but I meant Evra
>>63832299
Xavi is the correct answer
>I talk of conspiracies and manhood while sneaking up on someone then gouging their eye and run off like a bitch
>>63832211
Correct answer
>>63830360
Ozil
>>63830474
Piqué
>>63830596
Texty G
>>63830642
le dive inside man
>>63831874
Drogba
>>63831922
Le big butt narutard run to the corner and fall down, win a penalty then miss it no end product man
>>63831957
Cavani
>>63831940
le dive inside man, Donaldo
>>63831999
Pedro?
>>63831988
Donaldo
>>63831985
Taribo West, Valderrama, Donaldo
>>63832003
Donaldo
>>63832028
William's form right now, Juninho overall (though it's more like 40%)
>>63832066
Benzememe
>>63832165
Kroos in Halal
>>63832268
still Kroos
>>63832282
Evra, Icardi
>>63831957
Shut up oribe peralta
>>63832415
you were supposed to describe him poorly
>>63832459
you ruined the thread
>>63832180
taribo west
>>63832415
the average american man
>>63832180
Bale
>I am the chosen martyr, the one who shall rise against them all, for they all hate me, yet can't live without me
>>63832566
Diego Costa
>>63832566
stevie g?
The Stocksbridge Park Steels lad.
>le suck at defending, score a goal, every forget how much he sucks man
In my mind, I'm always the best
>>63832003
Messi?
>>63832643
Sergio Ramos and David Luiz
>>63832643
Ramos?
>I look like a thumb but still am the captain of this team
>>63832898
kompany
>>63832898
Rooney
>pic related
>le scoring the occasional blooter while contributing nothing else to the team man
>I play for my national team since 2009 and literally never scored a goal in a important game
>>63833119
Most goalies 2bh
>>63833178
I should've mentioned he's the striker, my bad
>i run up the field to play triangles but I have to rely on the midfield to cover for my lack of defending
>>63833005
bingo
>>63833206
current Xabi Alonso
>>63833052
James
>>63833244
Well done, rare flag. Nice digits btw
Defence/wiggle
>>63833220
you could say that is current Xabi, but no. here's a hint, he shares your nationality.
>>63833379
Marcelo
>>63833426
Actually Alves. But Marcelo is also correct.
>>63833475
Xabi Alonso would be correct. Marcelo would be correct. Dani Alves exposes your idiocy and lack of knowledge about this sport, typical of someone who started following a couple years ago. He's a great defender.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4-Z4WnBvh8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QXHU-b4Obk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArFdqvjrd0k
>i cut inside a lot and run around a lot
>>63833510
A hue with an english major, I'm impressed. Where were you when Dunga needed your expertise in the 2014 knockout stages?
>>63833683
>argument EXPOSED
>attack flag
Get fucked.
>>63833721
Dunga left Alves on the bench after he played the group stages. Btw this isn't /pol/, why are you fronting like i questioned your entire belief system. Are you hungry?
>>63833046
kek Ozil
>>63833847
>Dunga left Alves on the bench after he played the group stages.
1. Everyone knows that, dumbass.
2. You're the only one bringing up the WC. What is actually being discussed are his capacities as a defender, to which I addressed, and you did not.
3. Dunga wasn't even the coach in 2014
Find a handegg thread to shitpost, clueless bandwagoner.
>>63833847
>dunga
>2014 WC
>>63833847
>a rubber
>>63833897
it's a game, why do you have to ruin the thread over a disagreement? rhetoric question, don't want to know.
he does this stupid jump move that some footballers copied and got ACL injuries
>>63833995
Stop feeling responsible for the posts of other people with your flag, faggot.
Nobody can stop anyone else from posting anything they want, deal with it.
>>63833897
I admit I was wrong about Alves, thanks for the enlightenment. But I do know Dunga wasn't the coach in 2014. I just wanted to trigger you into thinking about the 7-1.
>>63834043
It's hard to care when it's posted on /sp/ everyday about 200 times. It lost its effect a long time ago.
Besides, club over country has been the norm since forever. My club being near the relegation zone triggers me way more than 7-1.
>>63834043
You're alright, Arooba.
>>63834063
don't be sad huebro
http://brasilalemanhaeterno.com/
>le tap-in diving man
>I am always on standby unless there's a big match
>>63834534
Indiesta
>literally a cuc.k
>>63834700
Maxi Lopez
De Bruyne
>I fuck my teammate's wife
>>63834911
I just did that one, faggot
>>63834911
Mauro Icardi
>>63832023
>>63832050
>>63832459
>>63832658
It was actually Lewandowski
>le have the worst performance as a striker for a world Cup contending team on a regular basis but the selection team is to fat and stupid to realise they shouldn't have picked me man
>>63834001
Klose
>>63834486
Penaldo again
>>63835126
Rooney
>I score less than 40% of the tap-in chances I get but that's still a lot so I'm currently one of the best strikers in Europe.
>le leave free kicks to me man
>>63833510
Alves is a shit defender
>fucking highlight videos
typical hue
>>63833119
Benz?
>>63835495
Donaldo's been popping up a lot lately huh
>>63835495
Will.I.Am
black man with fucked up haircuts awkwardly running around and occasionally passing the ball 40 meters up the field
I never play defense, make runs when I'm not expecting the ball or contribute to buildup play because I'm always too busy either walking around (90% of the time) or attempting to put myself in scoring positions (10% of the time).
I'm a striker who hustles my ass off on defense, constantly makes runs when I'm not expecting the ball and routinely drops back to contributing to buildup play all while still managing to score at a similar or better rate than >>63836234
I am a much better footballer than >>63836234
I would rather help a friend commit a crime rather than give him a loan. I also performed indecent sex acts with one Bilal Yusuf Mohammed.
OP here. Answer is Willian.
>>63836234
Rooney
>>63836264
Vardy
>>63836324
Nope.
>>63835440
>>63834001 here, it was CRonaldo
>>63835440
Giroud
>>63835440
Aubameyang?
I refuse to actually play as anything resembling a striker
>>63832208
literally a manchild riding a life sized toy
People usually laud me for my short passing skills but the most important thing I do for my team is consistently shut down opposing counterattacks through superior self-positioning.
>>63836435
granny shagger?
I'd probably make a hell of a passable trap.
>>63836557
chicharito/james
>>63836234
Trying to say Messi?
>>63836264
Suarez?
>>63836557
Lamela
the new harry kane
>>63836610
1/2.
>Messi
>never contributes to buildup play
U wot m8?
>>63836557
Neymar
>>63836206
Sakho?
>>63836630
No. He kinda already looks like a non-passing tranny.
>i think ter stegen is there third best player in the world
>>63836655
have you seen how his sister looks like?
I am actually 173 years old.
>>63836701
Falcao
>>63836701
Zanetti
>>63836640
yeah, good job.
he really, really likes women
>>63836712
Dis nigga handsome as fuck for 173. No homo.
>>63836629
Idk the whole walking thing I thought someone was trying to shoehorn Messi in
midfielder that has a lot of experience a fucking world cup, and yet manages to lose to ball very often and looks nervous with it, also meme fitness issues
>>63836763
Pigfucker.
I really like my son and all people. I donate a lot because I care about world peace and hunger issues. I definitely am not gay and I really love women.
>>63836763
Schweiny?
>>63836751
>>63836783
Penaldo
>>63836701
Costa?
>>63836701
>>63836435
costa
>>63836816
Yes.
Amateur drummer and a gk
I had sex with your sister as my birthday gift to her.
>>63836847
BASED PETER CECH
t. drummer
>>63836847
Cech
>tfw remember staying up til 3 am on youtube watching random covers and he came up
>>63836847
also, he's more muscular than i imagined. thought keepers were just lankets
>>63836628
harry kane
>>63836865
>>63836847
Could also be Porto/Vasco's Hélton.
>>63836885
I imagine they do a lot of lifting these days with the primary motivations being leaping power (expands your net coverage), arm strength (for stopping hard shots with one arm) and kicking power.
I once sprained my shoulder by reflexively diving onto concrete after a small child poked my leg to get my attention. I hate PortAdventura because they won't let me on some of the rides.
>>63832552
lmfao underrated
>>63833206
Dani Alves?
>I had a breakout season in Spain and moved to a premier league club where I continued my form for another season, then went missing
>>63833475
>Alves
give a scenario to back this claim.
I'm usually the best or close to the best midfielder in the world for the first half of every season.
>I almost carried a PL team to the title, then moved to Spain and won everything
>>63837295
Bitey McGee, /sp/'s favorite player.
>>63837289
Cesc
>>63837312
Yep. A baffling case, really.
>>63837289
>every
Would say Cesc but he's shit right now
>>63837322
>usually
You overlooked this one.
>my speed of thought is second to none, there's no opponent I can't outrun, show me the left your team is done
I bully little people
>leave missing a possible wc winning goal to me man
>>63837360
Le cut inside man.
>I have single-handedly destroyed the international footballing legacy of >>63837554
>>63837554
could be both cut inside man and messi, but I'm guessing messi
>>63837597
klose
>>63837612
no
>hey guys check this shit out, this is gonna be real cool, because I'm redefining the position by... aw FUCK I did it again and they scored again.
>>63837554
higuain?
>>63837646
Damn. Rephrasing then:
>I have single-handedly destroyed Lionel Messi's footballing legacy
Probably too easy now.
>>63837677
yep and check'd
>>63837561
>>63837659
David Luiz
>>63837862
No, but highly appropriate.
I've probably scored dozens of goals by distracting opponents with my face.
>>63837938
Thomas Muller
i really, really like males
>>63837962
>>63837962
that gay american player
>>63837993
who is the black dude?
>>63838022
If I've been told correctly that's literally an FtM and and old "friend" of his.
>>63837659
Ter Shitgen
>>63838073
Yep.
>>63835096
but he scored lots in two different teams retard
>>63837993
there is nothing wrong with touching another mans penis
>>63838262
being gay isn't wrong, so of course not
it's faggotry though
>>63838262
>>63837295
Suarez
i'm really short with curly hair and I can only succeed in Serie A
>>63833046
nice one
>>63833046
hazard
>>63838262
Nothing wrong with a good Brojob either as long as it's just a prank
Right?
Right.
>le drible too much and lose the ball man
>>63839186
caudrado?
I play a boring kicking sport watched by retards.
>>63841066
>27 nov
you looked all over /sp/ for a swiss flag just to post this, didn't you?
can't blame you tbqh
>le drop ball in own goal man
I score when I want and keep my mouth open
>>63836501
Axel Witsel
>>63841332
Tom Brady?
>>63836234
Bellerin?
>>63843263
casillas?
>>63843381
messi?
>>63841332
vinatieri
>>63832003
Rooney
>>63832028
calhalonglu or however u spell it
>>63832566
giroud
>>63832643
david luiz
>>63833052
wilshere
>>63834486
donaldo or kane
>>63834700
valbuena
>>63835126
rooney, klose, fred, higuain the list goes on
>>63835495
ozil
>>63836628
karry hane
>>63836701
robben
>>63843381
party vardy
>>63837248
Michu.
>I'm icelandic
I changed my hair style nearly every match, was a regular starter in one of the world's top teams, then I requested a transfer but rejected it so as a punishment I spent the season training with children and completely faded away as an athlete.
I show off a lot but am incapable of scoring a goal.
I was very succesfull in a meme league, was overhyped, got a big transfer and failed
>this could be literally hundreds of player
>you'll still all get it easily
I am the national tabloids dream player and a PR nightmare for the club everywhere i go. Also putting on clothes is difficult.
>>63846020
Memepiss "Le I wanted to be a rapper man" Depay
I do my job at a very fast rate but everyone in Spain still hates me
I am complete shite but people rate me because my name makes me sound cool and I am vaguely fast
>>63831953
Messi?
/r/ webm
>>63846036
Balo
>>63845299
Gudhjonsen or Sigurdsson there isn't anyone else that plays football
>I bang people that chat shit
I have fucked my brother's wife for eight years but everyone still thinks i'm an example of righteousness and sportsmanship
>>63835126
Fred
I have teeth.
>>63832552
Top fucking kek
>>63837360
Brilliant shitposting
>>63837659
Poop guardiola
>>63830360
...Hazard
>>63833119
Pato?
A meme.
>I'm a midget, but make absolute GOAT blooters
>>63830360
My initials don't stand for Merlin the Magician
>>63856310
still playing or retired?
>>63856411
still playing
>>63856310
iniesta
I bite
>>63832003
Chicharito proved that to be wrong when he moved. So who is it?
I miss my country I will go back and play there
>>63856688
tevez
