>see street shitter with Coutinho jersey
>say to him "Great game against Man City"
>he gives me a blank stare and says "what?"
I don't get it why did you think he was Coutinho just because he was wearing the shirt? you ca buy the shirt with any name on it i doubt seriously that Coutinho would be on vaction in your town when he was to train
pretty stupid on your part imotbh
>Thinking an American actually supports the kit he wears
I saw a guy wearing a qpr shirt once
>soccer
i saw a guy wearing a NYCFC shirt once
>>63777131
>>63777162
what is the correct joke here op
>>63777792
I just wanted to make a friend here at uni and saw this Indian kid with the Coutinho jersey and since I'm a LFC fan thought I could talk to him about it
Turns out he just wears the jersey to look sophisticated or something
>>63777013
>wearing someone's shirt when you aren't a fan of them
You did nothing wrong, OP
I saw Philippe Coutinho at a grocery store in Rio last week. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “hã?” but he kept cutting me off and going “hã? hã? hã?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I remember once in Rotterdam while I was waiting for my heroin dealer somewhere near the train station, I saw a group of dutch guys with Feyenoord shirts. I told them that Pierre Von Hooijdonk was a great player. they said: "litterally who?
>>63777846
Remy going hard in da paint
>>63777939
I doubt that.
saw a guy wearing a man city jersey a couple months ago, but he had his own name printed on the back
>>63777846
Fucking hell la
>>63777939
Who?
>>63777846
>at party
>imtroduced to guy with a crosby shirt and try to shoot the shit about hockey
>he doesnt even watch hockey
The worst feel
>>63777013
What was he supposed to reply, "Thanks"?
>>63777839
I'll be your friend
>>63778258
I was hoping to talk about LFC and how they're gonna finish top of the league la
>>63777839
>I wanted to make a friend with some loser Indian
Bump for potential
>>63778297
You don't know how desperate I am man
One time I saw this kid browsing /co/ in the student center and almost went up to talk to him about 4chan
>>63778342
You'll be fine, learn to be at peace with yourself and you wont need all that interaction
>>63777013
You did good ,the world need some human interaction.
Shame you wasted your courage on a looser.
>>63777839
He's probably socially autistic so just ignore him.
>On holiday in Iceland
>Some guy hears my accent
>"What team do you support?"
>"Sunderland, who do you support?"
>"Liverpool"
>"Oh, good result on Saturday right?"
>Stares at me blankly
>"...Uh sure"
>wearing a soccer jersey
What are you fucking gay anon?
>>63777839
Cheer up m8 you'll meet the right person one day.
>>63778463
>on holiday in iceland
im pretty sure iceland doesnt have an airport
>>63778252
Wait, did somebody make a Katawa Shoujo anime?
Is it socially acceptable to wear a LFC shirt IN Liverpool?
>>63778633
You'll get beaten, spat on and robbed. So no they won't treat you any differently.
>>63778633
If you have less then 8 teeth, yes.
>>63778508
I wasn't wearing the jersey, the street shitter was so I thought I'd make conversation
>>63778647
>>63778656
What happens if you wear an Everton shirt IN Liverpool? is it more dangerous than to wear a MUFC shirt?
>>63777939
From all the things that never happen this one didn't happen the most.
>>63777839
>Turns out he just wears the jersey to look sophisticated or something
Something similar happened to me back in the spring
>A few days after Kane scored 2 against Arsenal
>Before class
>Guy walks in wearing an Ozil shirt
>I say "hey, are you an Arsenal fan?"
>"Yeah, I'm a huge Gooner, they're my favorite football club."
>We start talking about soccer
>I say "So how about Harry Kane?
>"Who?"
>"You know, the guy who scored 2 against you guys in the North London derby."
>"The what?"
>mfw
>>63778746
I doubt it. Isn't the city split 50/50?
>>63777846
This is modified pasta.
>>63778995
Great observation
>>63778746
>>63778981
Probably more like 70/30, since Liverpool are traditionally the more successful team. I bet it's the same as United-City or Arsenal-Tottenham.
>>63779111
*Liverpool is
>>63778615
No, it's one of the cutscenes from the game. They are pretty well made.
>>63779111
no, there are more everton fans in liverpool then there are liverpool by a good fucking amount.
>>63777013
>see qt with a Tom Brady jersey at Burger King
>really god damned pretty, i have to make a move
>go for it
>say something dumb and cheeky like "the Patriots are a bunch of cheaters"
>say it out loud with a smile in my face
>about 5 seconds of silence
>everyone is looking at me but her
>then she looks at me in the eyes like i just raped a dog in the middle of the street
>it looks like she didn't get the reference
>my smile disappears
after that i just walked away and ate at a cheap hot dog stand (we call them completos)
A lot of blacks and wiggers often wear hats of teams they don't actually care about. Hell, they'll wear hats of teams in sports they don't care about.
>hey man! Nice Whalers hat, I miss them...
>what?
Spaghetti everywhere
>>63779311
What sort of toppings do they offer at completos?
>>63779360
>tfw we're getting to the point where black kids will be wearing Vancouver Grizzlies hats who were born after they moved away
>>63779360
>knowing these circumstances
You gay bruh?
>>63778342
>browsing /sp/ in one class
>kid behind my row kicks my desk
>hey bro you on bee?
>I love bee man I've been on there since 2013
>"n-no I try to stick to the blue boards in public"
>blue board? What are you talking about? Is that a meme?
>turn around and ignore him for the rest of the semester
>taking parenting class to satisfy a court ruling
>wearing my girlfriends husbands lakers jersey
>some black guy asks me about odom
>say "heh boner moth?"
>get kicked out of class
>the guy sees me and hour later at jack in the box eating curly fries
>starts yelling at me
>I squirt some ketchup on him
>so scared
I'm never going to make sports friends
>>63779421
>be an Informatics major
>researcher giving a guest lecture
>he researches /b/
>"so, how many of you go on 4chan or even /b/?"
>a third of the class raises their hands and identifies themself as autists
>see them all on reddit in other classes
So glad I've graduated and escaped being surrounded by all those autists
>See guy in a Manchester United shirt at work
>Get excited as fuck because I almost never meet any soccer fans around here
>I support Everton and try to banter
>This was just a few weeks after Everton beat them, when they had Moyes
>"So, how did you like the game against Everton a few weeks ago"
>Guy clearly does not know shit and doesn't get it
>"Oh, it was great"
>"Are you liking Moyes? I think he's doing a great job at United"
>"Yeah, he's great"
Fuck this shit. I don't even bother when I see an American wearing a soccer shirt anymore.
>>63779514
He might have been too busy w/ur mum too watch the gaem
>Have a party at uni dorm
>Loads of people
>Polish guy with an Arsenal Podolski shirt on
>Start to talk about Arsenal
>Guy just mutters and stumbles over his words
>"w-we play good football don't we?"
>Doesn't have a clue
>Acts like a creep and hovers around the sides of the party
>Tell him to leave
>Looks like he's about to cry
>"but we both support arsenal"
>mfw
>>63779535
Found the guy who wears a Man U shirt at work
hold on a second why the fuck are all you autists associating with people that wear jerseys in public
once you reach a certain age you should be avoiding people in jerseys at all costs, this age is typically beard growing age
i see a lot of posts about meeting people in jerseys at parties or in class and trying to talk to them, THAT was your first mistake, and stop going to shitty fucking parties as well
Met some Arab guy wearing an Arsenal kit, he had a lot of praise for my team, Barcelona, cool guy, would trigger autistic white people with again
>Be in subway station
>attractive girl wearing a NY Giants visor and yoga pants
>"Eli is having a hell of a season isn't he?"
>"...what?"
>"Eli Manning..."
>"Who?"
>"Nevermind, I like your visor."
>"Thanks?"
>Awkwardly walk away
>>63779577
this
dropped jerseys when I was 17, past that it looks ridiculous
only exceptions are if I attend my club's matches or go play some amateur friendly myself
>>63779647
>talking sports with a girl
Some stereotypes exist for a reason.
>>63779647
Dumbass,she was a hipster.
I had the same experience with a 6/10 thick cutie wearing a slayer tshirt.
>>63779651
>that guy who wears a full kit to a pickup/game with friends
>>63779360
Your big mistake was speaking to a black or a wigger at all. Just ignore them (be on guard at all times though - you should be ready to lay them out the second shit goes left)
>>63779665
>>63779674
I just wanted to talk to her. I drew a blank on what to say and decided to bring up the Giants because of the visor. I know I broke the cardinal rule of talking sports with a girl. I usually don't drop spaghetti out of my pockets but it happened that time.
>see a girl wearing a Bears hat
>say "this is my face when da Bears win da Superb Owl"
>make a face like pic related
>girl walks away with a disgusted look on her face
>>63779647
>be 14 years old
>at a party in Key West back in the summer of 2010
>my friend asks me to "be his wingman"
>I have no fucking clue what this means, but I just nod
>We walk over to these two girls
>Nervous as fuck, don't know what I'm going to say to them
>They're both wearing Miami Heat shirts
>Fuck yes
>"You happy about Lebron?"
>"Yeah, he's awesome! We're going to win lots of trophies!"
>"And Bosh really completes the team, doesn't he?"
>"Who?"
>"B-bosh, another guy they signed. He used to play for the Raptors."
>"Who?"
>"The Raptors. They're a team in Canada."
>".......ok."
>Try making a joke about how Miami will have "Run the point night" where one lucky fan will get to play point guard to keep the salary cap down
>Neither of them laugh
>The next 5 minutes are an awkward disaster
I need more interests that other people find relatable, sports is the only non-autistic thing I'm into.
>>63778995
No shit!
>>63779674
i had a similar experience when I was talking to a 7/10 latino girl wearing an Iron Maiden shirt at a party
>"Cool shirt, I love Maiden."
>*nervous laugh* "Oh I only like the graphic hehe"
didn't get it in
>>63777839
Are americans really this cringe?
>>63779774
No that guy is just a lonely homosexual.
>>63779676
>that skinny white dude who wears a Kobe replica jersey and Lebron XVIIIMX Triple Super Air Force F-16 Hyperslamjams
>He keeps taking contested 3s every time he gets the ball, misses, then says "my bad" like that makes it ok
>>63778995
Being this slow is why you couldn't maintain an empire
>>63779787
>That manlet that thinks he can crash the boards and takes to the rim every time only to get btfo
>>63777013
Why would you feel awkward about this? Make that retard feel bad for wearing a jersey and not even know the first thing about the team. Have some self respect
>>63779676
I don't use chin guards and long socks for friend games though
>>63779676
>wear a shirt with iniesta/drogba name on the back
>i suck
irony is so palbable it hurts
>>63779870
>not just wearing a plain adidas or nike training top
>not just staying back to help the gk so your mistakes don't blatantly show you're shit at footy
![t_110190_ralf-e-um-dos-tres-titulares-na-conquista-do-mundial-de-2012-que-seguem-com-essa-condicao-no-corinthians[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/oNc9q41.jpg "t_110190_ralf-e-um-dos-tres-titulares-na-conquista-do-mundial-de-2012-que-seguem-com-essa-condicao-no-corinthians[1].jpg")
>>63779907
i just play at the midfield and tackle because i am not that bad with the passes.
>>63779944
Money on the line?
>>63779974
no , just 1 pack of cocke,but girls are watching.
>>63779907
>>63779944
>Be a typical American who's never played soccer outside of a few years of youth soccer, only sport I was ever good at was baseball
>I'm latino and look it
>Always talk with the immigrant latinos I work with
>Pretend to know about soccer to fit in, make up some story about how I used to play in high school
>They ask me to fill in as goalkeeper the following day for their pickup game at the park
>Spend my entire shift looking up the rules of this sport
>Turns out I'm pretty good as a goalkeeper
>Basically the same thing as playing shortstop
>But I have to insist on only ever playing goalkeeper so they don't know how shit I am at literally every aspect of the sport other than "block/catch ball" or "kick it really far"
I'm in too deep bros
>>63779742
She deserves a medal
>>63780018
Gotta make my girl co-workers come see a match one of these days, they'll probably end up seeing a fight between us and another dept. at the company.
Should be fun.
>>63779744
>sports
>non-autistic
pick uno
>>63779111
Literally wrong, there are more evertonians and city fans in their respective cities
Pretty much 99% of Ireland support liverpool though so there's that.
>>63780053
Get juggling down and you'll be fine.
>>63779742
>>63780095
Juggling? But there's only ever one ball on the field.
>>63779744
>>Try making a joke about how Miami will have "Run the point night" where one lucky fan will get to play point guard to keep the salary cap down
You stole that from Lebatard
>>63780125
I don't know if it's worse stealing from Lebatard or knowing his material
>>63780109
On your own time. You know practice at home!
>At Walmart in Arse shirt
>Guy comes up to me "Go gunners, man" shakes my hand
>"Haha, hell yeah" kinda feel like I responded like an autist
>Realize later that I kinda wanted to know if this guy watched football or was just being friendly
>>63777013
>travelling through Africa
>give passport at border
>'oh, you're from Barcelona, Barça, Messi'
>let's me pass
>feelsgoodman
>>63780076
>Uruguay
>football fighting
shocking!
>>63780293
>Travelling through southeast asia
>Chink looks at passport
>"Oh Uruguay, Forlan good"
>Like any other asian he couldn't pronounce the r in Forlan so it took me like 15 sec to understand
>smirk and do a thumb ups
>>63780278
I did this shit at a friendly game when barca came to town. Ninety percent wore Barcelona gear and I was wearing a home kit. Guy walks by with his 6 year old son wearing a home kit too and cheers for our home team with excitement and I cheer back in a drunking stupor. He just kinda gives me an awkward grin and walks off. Pic related.
>>63780293
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/29/lionel-messi-name_n_7689540.html
Thank You Based Messi
>>63779651
This so much
Once I hit 18 i only wore suits and a dressy hat. Only children wear otherwise
>wearing t shirts on a weekday
>>63780293
iknowthatfeelbro.jpg
>>63780094
Stop talking about things you know nothing about, I go to Liverpool about once a year and in terms of shirts in public (it's fucking weird how many scousers wear football shirts in public by the way) Liverpool outnumbers Everton like at least 60-40. Liverpool have been the bigger club for years, I know it's a meme to say that real scousers support Everton and bandwagoners Liverpool but it isn't really the case.
>>63780403
epic
>go to London on vacation
>spearmint rhino, wtf is this
>massive tits everywhere, eyes get super wide
>spot some tanned guy in the back with a super sweaty arsenal jersey on, he looks freaked out too
>tap him on the shoulder
>"Wenger out?"
>"g-go gunners, jaa"
>shake my head
>>63777846
>hã?
>>63780094
Of course there are. Just like there are more Atletico fans than Real fans in Madrid, and all real North Londoners support Tottenham.
>>63780440
*tips*
>>63780502
>there are more Atletico fans than Real fans in Madrid
no
>>63779543
Rude tbf
>>63780528
I was being sarcastic.
>>63780528
That's the point, inferior teams always fall back on the "we have real fans, your fans are all foreign bandwagoners" meme.
>>63780293
>travelling through Asia
>give passport at border
>'oh you're from Germany, Hitler, Nazi'
>let's me pass and praises the holocaust
>feelSSgoodman
>>63780293
>traveling through Canada
>hand passport
>"oh Stanley cup champ 22 years in row, good good"
>lets me pass no problem
>gives bag of milk
>>63780633
>travelling through Ireland
>give passport at UK border
>'oh, you're from America, Washington, Revolution'
>points his musket at me and doesn't let me leave until I swear loyalty to the tyrant King George III
>feelsbadman
>>63780633
>travelling through Israel
>give passport at border
>'oy vey you're from Switzerland? Where's our gold?'
>get deported
>feelsbadman
>>63780380
Filipinos can pronounce that Spanish r you're looking for, thanks to colonization probably
>travelling through Mexico
>give passport at border
>'Orale you're from America, gringo, Trump'
>puts me in a strange van and get driven to a shed
>get decapitated and face peeled off skull and displayed on a pike in Monterrey
>feelsbadman
>>63780293
>travelling through Germany
>give passport at border
>'oh, you're from Britain, 2 world wars, 1 world cup.
>opens the car boot, throws a syrian in
>let's me pass
>feelsbadman
>>63780734
>not replying "Andale Chapo" when you greet him
You fucked up
>>63780837
>>63779457
>wearing my girlfriends husbands lakers jersey
>my girlfriends husbands Lakers jersey
>my girlfriends husbands
U wot m8
>>63780886
Check out this no game having jabroni
Go wear your suit
>travelling to Great Britain
>reach out and show my passport to the customs officer
>he notices the snake tatoo on my forearm
>has a strange expression as he says something about "death eaters" over the radio
>a few minutes later two guys in robes come up from behind me
>tell me to come with them
>get sentenced to 10 years in azkaban
>>63780872
>not replying
>No juego conmigo, tu sabes de mi
No Tony Montana, mis amigos mis kilos
Mi casa, su casa cuidado con el chico
Tu quieres la plata yo tengo perico
why are literally all arabs and muslims in north america barca fans
im not even joking
>>63780928
The game sucks dick, Gucci's Chapo tribute is dope.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w25EyFokS4
>>63780958
Half barça, half madrid from what I've seen. Also, many times they'll simply say the name of your city team so you pay them attention, don't even have to be fans.
>>63779421
What is a blue board anyway lad
>>63781010
Oh, you said north america, not north africa. My bad.
>>63780966
>not knowing Chapo was always a corrupt politicians fugitive and when he didn't pay he was easily caught.
>>63781025
>Andalusia: the post
>>63781033
Yeah paying bribes and corrupting the right politicians seems so easy, that's why Escobar had to kill half of the colombian government in order to not get extradited.
>>63781074
>ywn be flown in by private jet to based Escobar's private soccer field to play a friendly with Rene "le sweeper keeper meme" Higuita who scorpion kicks your shots right back at you
>>63781074
You see that's the difference. Pablo went after the elite and wanted Colombia for himself. Do you think the US would stand for that. Good try though kiddo.
>>63781016
It's a board with a blue background such as this, which signifies anything not safe for work is against rules. Orange is allowed
>>63781109
You just proved my point, Chapo is way smarter by corrupting the right people and staying out of the spotlight instead of killing everyone in his way or trying to become a politician like Pablo did.
>>63781104
Higuita used to visit him and his assasins in jail to play football and shit kek.
>>63781104
>Pablo wins, but fucks it up by killing two of his Capos in prison
>>63781154
Chapos small time compared to Pablo. But times have changed and it's all very debatable.
>>63781133
Thanks senpai
>travelling through Sweden
>give passport at border
>'Hej you're from Canada, buddy, Eh?'
>gives me complimentary black rapist named Jammal
>feelsbadman
>>63779543
bully
>>63780293
>traveling through mexico
>get decapitated
Why are liverpool fans the worst?
>>63777013
this is me, I have a liverpool and barcelona Suarez jersey because he's a real nigga. Don't actually watch soccer much other than international matches and some later round champions league games
>>63779311
You could've just ate all the speghetti spilling out of your pocket la'
>>63778342
I made one of my best friends today by doing that. He was in the library browsing /lit/ and I started a conversation with him.
>>63777839
Here I'm mate
>>63777764
>"no weves wevon wea gnsjdjnho"
>>63778404
this
>>63778962
Good lord, the cringe
>>63779311
>chile fucks up
>kek
There's an Asian kid on my floor w/ a Dortmund Lewandowski jersey
I asked him the other day "What part of the Ruhrpott you from man?"
He gave me a blank stare
>see someone on the street with PSG jersey
>"t'es de quel côté de Paris ?"
>"allahu ackbar"
>boom
>>63785761
>>63785761
>>63785761
>see someone on street wearing Pirates hat
>"hey man do you know why the Pirates willingly decided to place the 2014 NL WC game on Edison Volquez?"
>"allah ackbar"
>boom
>>63785413
>>63785657
>wanting a degenerate poser gf
oi lads be desperate
>>63785761
Friendly reminder that those who applaud the Qatar era PSG might as well applaud terrorism.
>>63786026
it's still France's best chance to have a relevant club
paradoxical isn't it ?
>>63786030
Well parisians shouldn't complain next time terrorists come and blow up in Paris then, after all they're part of the team in a way.
>>63786065
martyrs pour le PSG.
Ca c'est du supporter.
>>63777839
you've got us m8 fuck the rest
>>63786194
This. 4chan cured my depression even when bitches could not.
>>63786307
>You're body is ready.
>be about 6 years old
>play football for my local club
>after game go to my grandma in my kit, no time to shower
>be walking around in Nijmegen in vertically striped yellow-black jersey
>everyone thinks it's a Vitesse kit
>people start yelling and booing me
>panic
>run away while crying uncontrollaby
>>63786373
>it ain't me starts playing
>>63777839
hello my white friend
>>63786425
hello my Aryan friend
>>63780293
>travelling through pakistan
>give passport at border
>'oh, you're from india, rss, modi'
>let's me pass and sends a nuke my way
>it goes and hits some school
>makalala gets nobel
>feelsislamman
>>63786017
When did I say that?
>>63777131
I see Coutinho quite often desu
he walks his dogs in the park near where i live
>>63779207
>>63780094
there really isnt, they're just way more vocal because they feel they have something to prove
(source: i fucking live in the city)
its split like 70/30
>>63777839
>Indian kid
These fuckers are the worst.
t. saw an Indian in the bus with a Manure vest
>>63786093
Who Tf invited Mr Blanc flag over here
>>63778342
I do that
Browse /co/ in Uni that is, doubt many people here even have a clue what it is desu
There's a lot of chinks though, wonder if they silently judge me for browsing a japenese style image board
