I saw Jay Cutler at a grocery store in Chicago the other day. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>>63539300
This one always gets me. Dunno why it's so funny.

>>63539195
Alex Ferguson. What a cunt!

>>63539195

The absolute madman.

not my story:

>British richfag in Socal, have real estate license for shits.
>Other britfag friend needs to sell his house in highly exclusive gated community, but doesn't want some asshole L.A. realtor to take a comission
>Our britfriend is advertising house, finally gets a buyer, and needs signatures from all the residents in the community
l
>Just trying to get a signature, doesn't know the guy, knocks on his door
>"Hello, I'm Anon. I'm the realtor who's been trying to sell a house here."
>"Yeah man, come on in."
>he walks inside
>notices tons of sports shit all over the walls
>"So you're a sports memorabilia collector?"
>".....I'm Wayne Gretzky."

>4chan says this is bullshit
>i could get fucked for posting a true story

i do it for based /sp/

um that's not costa lol

>>63539569
>>".....I'm Wayne Gretzky."

Who?

>>63539579
Xd

>>63539579

that's the joke m8

>>63539583

Tom Brady of hockey

>>63539569
Did he fuck gretzkys daughter though