Ronaldo: Do you like Cristiano Ronaldo?
Bale: He’s OK.
Ronaldo: His early work was a little too assist-friendly for my tastes, but when he started hogging all the set-pieces, I think he really came into his own, commercially and statistically. The whole free-kick preparation has a clear, crisp view of his ass, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the kicks a big boost, into the stands. He's been compared to Lionel Messi, but I think Cristiano has a far more self-indulgent, cynical sense of how to play football.
Bale: Hey Quaresma.
Ronaldo: Yes, Bale?
Bale: Why is there boy’s underwear all over the place, d-do you have a kid? A little test-tube baby or something?
Ronaldo: No, Bale.
Bale: Is that a Moroccan rentboy with a gimp mask in the other room?
Ronaldo: Yes it is! In 2016, Cristiano released this, his latest set-piece collection, his most accomplished string of failures to date. I think his undisputed masterpiece is his penalty miss against Austria, a miss so terrible, most people probably don't listen to him shouting “TSUUUUUU” during the run-up. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of crippling your team, and the importance of stat-padding, it's also a personal statement about Ronaldo himself.
[places ball on floor and begins a run up]
Ronaldo: Hey Garethl!
[he kicks the ball at Bale’s head, missing entirely and breaking a window. The Moroccan gimp runs in and beats Bale to death. Blood splatters over Ronaldo]
Ronaldo: TRY SCORING A FREE-KICK NOW, YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!
Chuckled through it but the end wasn't clever enough
I'll give you a 5.5/10 for the Quaresma part, that was sort of clever.
Jorge, it's Cristiano, Cristiano Ronaldo. You're my agent so I think you should know: I've missed a lot of set-pieces. Some penalties in the Euro 2016, some free-kicks maybe 5,000 or 10,000, um a penalty in the Champions League final. I left it in a Van Der Saar's face in some Russian stadium. I killed Real, my club, with a penalty miss against Bayern, and some man uh some balding old faggot Bale with set-piece deprivation for the last year. I killed another girl in the stand with a free-kick, I had to, she almost got me thinking I might still like girls and uh something else there I can't remember maybe a penalty, but I missed that too. And Portugal. I killed Portugal's 2014 World Cup campaign with a free kick into Lahm's foot, it's body is dissolving in a vat of corrosive tap-ins and moaning. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've missed maybe 20,000 set-pieces, maybe 40,000. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the management have seen the tapes. I even, um... I collect pictures of boy's underwear. Last night I, uh, I just had to let down a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty big fraud. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at a gay orgy in Morocco, so you know, keep your eyes open.
There are no more walls to hit. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and children's underpants, the vicious and the evil, all the losses I have caused and my utter indifference towards them I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a good free-kick for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on Bale. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of how to take a free-kick. No replacement set-piece taker can be extracted from my telling. This failure has meant nothing. TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
the end
Thanks OP, very good thread
kek, great thread op.
>>68724275
>Bale: Hey Quaresma.
kek
:( i fell for the jews are the funiest people meme
I can't interpret it.
Can anyone kindly help?
Top TSU
TSUUU/10
i want this meme not only get a career ending injury, but an injury that would affect them for the rest of their lives
>>68724605
Portuguese Tsuucho
Kek top effort that tbf
>>68724688
:O OMG hahahahahaha what a faggot. Mad because it wasn't him scoring a goal in a cool way, but his colleague?
>>68724688
TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
