It took you three fucking weeks of daily chatting to mention that you had a wife, but by then I'd already started having feelings. I'm lonely as fuck, haven't had a boyfriend in years, and have nothing to offer yet you got my hopes up with the flirting and cute words and telling me that I'm too perfect to be real. Then you drop that bomb on me.
Now, I'm fighting with myself on whether I should still talk to you or just stop, but you're the only companion I have left. Keep talking to you = keep hurting. Stop talking to you = back to being lonely and worthless. I may be lonely and hate myself, but I'm not a home wrecker. I do have some pride. My brain knows what to do but my heart just won't let the fuck go. If I didn't like you so much I'd hate you right now.
Is this a guy from /soc/? Sounds like someone I used to talk to
>A/S/L
28/M/DC
>Sexual Orientation
straight
>Relationship Status
happily married
>Text / Mic / Cam
Mic or Cam as I am trying to overcome my social anxiety
>MBTI Type
ISTJ
>Favorite Music
Indie, Surf, Shoegaze, Rockabilly, Goth, Punk. I like anything from Burger Records.
>Favorite Movies
Grand Budapest Hotel, Sunshine, Moonrise Kingdom. Anything Wes Anderson :/
>Favorite TV Shows
Live:Game of thrones, Marco Polo, 30 Rock, Office, Parks and Rec
Anime: Log Horizon, Samurai Champloo, Bakemonogatari
>Favorite Books
Vonnegut, Sedaris, Poe, Lovecraft
>Favorite Vidya
Half Life Series, Ni No Kuni,
>Interests
going to shows, museum hopping, foodie, walking around with some music. Anime cons
>What boards do you use?
/ck/ /fa/ /fit/ /gif/ /f/ /soc/
>Are you a NEET?
no
>What languages do you speak?
English
>What are you looking for?
looking to better my conversational skills, annunciation, and dialogue structures with someone interesting.
>What are you not looking for?
creeps, meeting up, other sources of contact
>Contact Info
himynameiskevin0
Taylor, I thought we'd actually be able to be friends. You seemed like such a nice person and I felt like I was developing a genuine connection to you. I'm sorry that I ever let myself think I could.
>>23771488
No, this guy has never been to 4chan and only knows of it because I've mentioned it.
I gave you all my time and attention. Stayed up late just so you wouldn't be alone. Did anything and everything to make you happy.
You said I'm your best friend, so how come now that you have a boyfriend you can't even make time to talk to me, let alone play some kind of game together. You say you're exhausted with work and then when you come home you only have enough time to shower and eat before you go spend the night with him.
I always made time for you, when I was the only person you had who cared about you. I knew things would change but I didn't think you'd just throw me away like everyone else has.
I'm so stunted when it comes to intimacy and relationships that I honestly don't know what I'd do if I ever got laid. I'm not an autist/sperg; I'm actually pretty good at talking to people. But I'm so terrified of being judged for my weight and dick size that I've had nightmares about normal sexual encounters like I was staring down death itself. I blame you though, A***e. We stuck together for three years and the whole time I hated myself because I thought you were too disgusted to sleep with me. And I held on for so long because I wanted to feel some semblance of love so desperately I was willing to stunt my sexual growth to be with you. Better yet, you have the fucking GALL to be mad at me for breaking up with you even though you didn't put a fucking ounce of work into our relationship. Yeah, I feel sorry for you because you're poor and your mom is a goddamn moron but I had needs. Now I have nobody and spend all day getting high because I hate, hate with intensity, the pink glob of fat in the mirror. Fuck it.
>>23771513
>A***e
Same here anon ;-;
>>23771527
never name your child after a ginger orphan, they grow up to fuck people up
Hawaii. You're moving to Hawaii. You said we'd have a chance to work on things when summer started any you had more free time to actually have a life, and now you're moving to fucking Hawaii.
I waited. I thought there was actually a chance. Now I know that there's nothing.
You're the first one in a while that I actually felt more than just physical attraction to. First one I wanted to love rather than just fuck.
Thanks.
Fuck you Hawaii.
>>23771503
You sound kinda pathetic.
>>23771494
Thats sad, what happened there?
Hey Molly
You were really cool, got along for the most part, had our disagreements on stupid autismal shit but mostly it was good times and laughs. Stopped talking to me once we threw 'love' out there. It hurt at first but whatever. I'd still take my ass to sweden if Trump gets elected. I wish you coulda said something instead of just never messaging me back though. I know you're doing good though, and I'm getting there. Cheers.
might as well keep on bitching. I really hate how high some people's standards are, especially in regards to weight. I know you have the right to a preference and there's nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you're looking for but I also have the right to complain and complaining happens to be what I do best. Like, I'm trying to cut down and it's working (slowly). I go to the gym twice a week, quit drinking soda completely, and rarely ever consume bread and I'm still fat. There isn't much I can do about it given my work & class schedule. Maybe cut a heavy guy a break? Cause I'd take almost anyone who'd look my way.
>>23771703
You cant force attraction dude.
>>23771865
Sure, you can't force it. I'm not trying to convince anyone to hook up with me. Just saying, the situation blows.
E,
We haven't spoken in quite some time now, which is why I lurk here often. I read letters and pretend they are from you to me. Realistically, I know some other poor bastard wrote them to someone they miss, but imagining you wrote them for me brings me immense comfort.
I know Im pathetic for doing so.. but it was the only way i could fulfill my "you" addiction. You've always been my drug. So when things were over.. what else was i supposed to do? You can't just quit a drug you're addicted to. So this is where I get my fix. Trust me, Its never as good as the real thing, But its better than nothing. Pretending you're still apart of my life is the only thing t hat keeps me going. Id be dead if I admitted to myself you are gone for good. Besides, pretending is the only thing I'm good at: pretending I'm fine, pretending i don't love you, pretending I'm happy.
God fucking damn it I miss you. Please come home to me.
H
I just want you to want me like I want you.
>>23771985
Harry..?
>>23772024
No Sorry,
But i hope you find your harry.
>>23772030
I was mad at him i didn't mean to push him away.
Thanks anon hope you find your E.
>>23772033
I don't know if I will, He deserves much better than me. I want him to be happy even if it costs my own happiness.
Message him.. its clear you miss him. You wouldn't be here if you didn't.
You're all proving by posting in this thread (as adults) that you deserve what happened to you
You socially mal-adjusted fucking weirdos.
>>23771482
>and have nothing to offer yet you got my hopes up with the flirting and cute words and telling me that I'm too perfect to be real.
You have nothing to offer and yet you bought that you're too perfect to be real? Are you dumb? You're ugly/fat and he was being a nice guy by complimenting you.
He has a wife, leave him the fuck alone. Good guys are for pretty girls
>>23771503
You deserved to be thrown away, leave that poor girl alone you creepy fuck
Nobody is perfect but you still want me to be the exception. I've made some mistakes in the past, but I have also did plenty of good which you seem to ignore. I wish I could tell you how much your words hurt me, that every time you talk to me I hold my tears back just to let everything out in the bathroom or at night where nobody can see me. You say I dont deserve to be here, I say yeah maybe you're right. You say it is all my fault, I say sure. You say you never wanted me, I don't say anything. I just wish for you to act like a normal parent one day and say a simple "I love you" without laughing.
We fight all the time but all I really want is rough, kinky sex. Not these teary-eyed cuddle sessions we always have. If we fucked more, we'd probably get along a lot better.
>>23771503
What is their first initial? They sound familiar.
I never got high before until a few days ago. My ex and I smoked an ungodly amount of weed in his truck. We're both in relationships now, him for a year and a half and me for only two weeks.
He told me that his relationship is on the rocks, but they will last as a couple. I, tbch, don't feel anything for the guy I am currently with. I'm trying so hard to because he's what everyone is saying I need and he put a stop to my streak of meaningless sex.
My ex told me he had been monitoring my fb and the fb of the guys I had fucked after him. He said they were all betas.
Then he asked me if he could touch me and if I would touch him. I said no, but was so high I couldn't even come up with a reason as to why not when he asked. After he persisted, my answer changed to "not tonight because I didn't shower".
It didn't happen, but I really really wanted it to. He said there would be no committment, no one would know but us. And I almost did it because I'm a selfish, pathetic bitch. Part of me even hopes I will have another chance.
This dude has wrecked my soul for two years now and I just want it to stop but everytime I block him, I always break down and unblock him a month later. I know he's a piece of shit; he was emotionally abusive and he's cheated on his current gf. But I feel like he was the best I will ever have.
>>23772056
no shit why the fuck would we be on /soc/ if we werent
>>23772304
You need to focus on your current relationship instead of an ex.
I have hot glue stuck on my nipple from trying to fix my glasses while they were still on my face and I was shirtless. It's been there three months and I don't want to pull it off incase it rips off my nipple
I mentioned this elsewhere, but I'm so damn sick of orbiters. Every time I meet a cool girl that I have chemistry with, she turns out to have a wall of orbiters keeping me away from her.
Seriously guys, if it's obvious that you're not gonna get pussy from a girl, go find a different one instead of following her around scowling at any guy who tries to talk to her.
>>23772546
Just ask if you can have a moment with her, and ask her out. It works and is alpha as fuck. If she says no, at least you didn't waste any more time pursuing her.
>>23772550
I get turned off by the scowling fuckboys before I get the chance, usually. I know that going out with a girl who's in that situation will just lead to trouble, and a bit of me feels guilty about cucking them, too.
>>23772056
>>23772087
You're the one on /soc/ harassing complete strangers who are venting, for no reason at all.
You don't really seem like a well-adjusted adult yourself.
Damen
My sister still calls you demon after what you did to me. I should too but I can't. I still love you too deeply. I know the timing wasn't right, we both had too much going on, but I can't help but feel that maybe if I put more effort, more time, then you would still love me. I didn't mind the being brushed aside, the facebook breakup, being ignored in all our classes for a month. I didn't mind you trying to hate me to feel better about leaving me. The two am calls to me about what to do with girls while you were at frat parties because I was still your best friend. I don't mind anything you've done.
I still can't help but wonder what could be. Every time I come back home for that one week in winter, and we get coffee and sit in our place and I get to see the snow landing and melting through your hair, when I get to hear your laugh and be held in your arms in an embrace my heart still skips beats.
I can never tell you how I feel. You'll reject it. You never liked long distance relationships and I can't hold you back from anyone there.
I miss and love you. It hurts. So much.
B.
Do you actually want to talk to me or are you just trying to distract yourself from your ex?
Why do I always end up messaging you first? You seem interested in our conversations but I am always the one to initiate them. If I don't say hi first, we don't talk. Are you sick of me? Am I wasting your time? What do you think of me? I wish I was a mind reader or I wish you were an open book.
>>23771482
You are not ready for a relationship yet so don't fuckup someone else's. The way you talk about yourself it's obvious you hate your own company and are jumping at little the attention thrown at you, it screams desperation. Learn to love yourself, it doesn't matter that you have been single for "years" you still haven't leant anything, you haven't improved yourself to be comfortable and love yourself.
>>23771482
>>23771495
kind of surprised there isn't a couple dozen kik names that went down saying let's talk about it from this story.
A friend of mine hasn't talked to me in over a month and removed me from Steam because I wasn't online the week his grandmother died.
He didn't even tell me about this and I only recently found out from another friend. I had sent him a message telling him I'm sorry I wasn't around and he can talk to me about anything. I felt terrible for him at first thinking he just needed time to cool off and his emotions were all over the place, but over a month? I can't even feel bad for him anymore.
Am I an asshole or is this just completely immature behavior on his part?
I should be running and sweating for my life but instead I came here to see dick. Aren't I disgusting?
At least laying on the bed takes pressure off my back before I have to sit for another 12 hours. I'm bad at following schedules and not sure how to discipline myself correctly. I should be better at this.
>>23772546
Sounds like you are just another orbiter tbqh
We've been together 5 years, there is something seriously wrong with you. All you do is "chat" with random people, then talk about how you "don't do that any more". I've lost all my trust in you, I would leave if I had somewhere to go. At this point I'm just going through the motions without caring. You've done this to yourself
I want to stop showing off for these people, they're dull and I'm bored, but no. Just got myself in deeper. Fuck.
I broke up with my first and only girlfriend 4 years ago now and haven't been in a relationship since. I'm either too ugly or too uninteresting, probably both.
>>23771494
>mfw that is my name
Haley I tried so fucking hard for you, I was clear on my intentions and you fucking led me on for a month, saying we would date, I kissed you I held you, I made love to you. You gave me everything besides the title of being your boyfriend and you immediately go steady with a guy you met 5 days ago because you 'felt' something. Fuck you. I drove 2 hours everyday to come see you even when I was broke and sold my things to make enough for gas to see you.
I am probably loosing it, but I have followed my gut to be friendly and invite her to hang out with some friends. She is busy then(Bros graduation and finals, just a bad time to arrange stuff.) but we agreed to do something soon, but it ended with me telling her to text me when she wants something, and she replied telling me to do the same.
I am probably a bit hopeless though as I am kinda still hoping that she will reach out to do something. Though I know it won't happen
>>23773344
why assume that, anon?
That last time we were together was the best day of my life, and I'm not sure if I could ever describe how humiliating and degrading that is.
I know you think I'm a liar, which is funny because I was infantile in my honesty and openness with you.
I was always honest with you except for one thing and that thing fills me with so much shame and anger towards myself.
Maybe you mistook that shame and anger for something else directed at you, that was never the case.
I know if you see this now you will say that I'm not being honest, that I'm being dramatic or that I truly don't feel that way.
It's interesting because the single most frustrating part about this is not being believed by someone you care about.
On a side note I've started to dream about you, I laid there after waking for a good 15 minutes not moving.
Because I was filled with so much anger and frustrate that you were even invading my dreams now.
>>23771482
Man, I done fucked up. I threw my entire life away in apathy, and now I still can't seem to dig myself out of this pit of despair and bullshit. I put on a mask, a face to hide how I really feel about my position. I can't say to you what I want, instead I just play the cool guy.
The guy who never had a care in the world, never a fear. But man, deep down inside I only fear my failure. My constant, never-ending failure. I should of been more, but in the end I became absolutely nothing.
L,
I love you and I always have. I wish you knew that, but I'm kind of glad you don't. It kills me to talk to you and yet it kills me when we're apart. This is the single most comforting, yet disconcerting and confusing thing I have experienced to this day. Love is weird.
>>23772056
Seriously man what gives you the right to shit about some strangers who are struggling they may be going through stuff that seems trivial to you buy at this moment in time they're in pain and need to get it off their chests... Even if you can't empathize with them show some compassion for your fellow man and don't make them feel worse what kind of monster are you... Do you kick puppies for whimpering too?
i went on 3 dates one day, 2 before i went on a date with my now current bf
the 2nd guy came on my face and then i made out with my now bf an hour later or so
i still feel guilty about it
>>23777572
Tell him. You'll clear your conscience and he'll thank you for your honesty.
It's the right thing to do.
Beth
I love how much info is publicly available
lololololo
she doesnt even come here on soc so idk why im posting it here
nadia I am sorry I got so attatched to you, you were the only person I knew how to rely on for a long time because you were so sweet and tender to me, I loved you with all my heart and I still do, when I think of your face I smile a little to myself but I know I was a parasite and I was so draining on you
I dont know whats happpened to me...these last few years have changed me. Im sorry im not the person I was when we met, the guy you used to like. I read through my old messages to you and I was so fun and energetic and charming to you...and now I just talk and think like a machine, I just feel like a shadow hanging over you and keeping you deeper in your depression...
im sorry things changed..
I wish I could take back the last year's worth of things Ive said to you, I wish I could undo this depression so it wouldnt have seeped into your life too
Im sorry I made you cry...
Dude, you demand every week that I arrive at 6 but you're always late whenever you 'have' to come up here. Do you seriously just sit on your ass and wait until you feel hungry before deciding you might as well leave?
I'm sick of fucking pizza. At this point I'd rather have the whole night to draw and play games than watch shitty movies that YOU choose and eat shitty pizza that YOU want.
You've never shown any enthusiasm for coming up to see me; But frankly, I just don't give a single shit any more.
I'm sick of just doing whatever the fuck you want and being some sort of a crutch to you. I'd rather do my own shit.
We're obviously never going to go camping because you seriously can't stop thinking about yourself for ten fucking seconds and help me plan anything.
>>23777708
It's not. Do preserve both his opinion of you, and of his self worth. Just shut up and forget about it.
>>23778077
LOL that is probably the faggiest thing I have ever heard
I wonder how your pathetic cuckold boyfriend is gonna feel when he realizes the lips that kiss his children belong to a whore who gets soaked in other mens proto-children for fun
However I highly doubt you will ever get to the marriage stage, have fun never being anyones girl, just being everyones turn
>>23776510
>except one thing
That would do it for someone not to trust you.
>>23771482
>i'm so lonely and just want someone to talk to that i pay a cam girl to text me good morning , Have a nice day at work , and good night. Along with weekly skype calls. where she has a store list for what to buy that week.(Food ect) i just want someone to care and i'm okay with this being as good as a relationship i'llever get.
>>23778158
Keep believing the world works just like you imagine it in your little bubble.
Unlike you, people who have passed the mental maturity of a 17 year old realize that some things are better left unsaid.
Also, I love how quickly you changed your tune when you were shown the truth. Do keep living in your bubble and let the adults handle the real world.
>>23778185
lol how did I change my tune? maybe instead of some things better left unsaid, some things better left un-DONE you imbecile
either be a whore and take your place in the harems or be a wife, make up your mind
>>23778193
Some things are better left not done. But that still has no connection to what I said. Hope you had fun strawmanning.
I don't need to take my place anywhere. Despite what you try to think in order to make yourself feel better, I am one of those people that don't take their place. I MAKE my own place and it's people like you who comply. Now sit back down, you are becoming boring.
I can't believe it. Back when we were friends with benefits i told you i was insecure and didn't want you to watch porn or think of any other girls. I've given you plenty of chances to come clean without me getting angry but you felt the need to hide it. Now i found your 2gb porn folder (and you didn't let me go through it) and your Internet history says you watch this shit at least once a day everyday (you tried deleting it but it was literally so much it was impossible). Weve been dating for 2 months now and you've known how i feel about this shit since 2 months before that. Then you promise to stop and immediately break that promise. On top of that you lied about how often you looked shit up and just kept lying to cover more lies. You say you've stopped but why should i believe you now? I believed you the first time you said you'd stop and i just got more hurt.
To however actually read this, should i forgive him? He says he doesn't remember agreeing to not watch porn when we were fwb and he only broke his promise that one time (according to him). This is the only thing he's ever done that hurt me and he's cried thinking about how hurt i am (he cried when he made the promise though so i don't fall for his tears anymore). I cut myself and didn't eat for days on end after he broke the promise. Id like some outside opinions. I know some people don't have a problem with their significant other watching porn but in this case he agreed to it and what hurt more was actually the lies and the fact that he broke a promise really.
>>23778250
honestly I wouldn't accept that kind of controlling behavior from an SO, much less a FWB. I consider them glorified fuck buddies.
second, I get that his porn watching upsets you, but if your feelings for him were strong enough that this effected you to the point of self harm then you need to re-evaluate the relationship.
>>23778267
I'm an idiot and just saw that you're actually dating
>>23778250
I can give some insight on that.
First thing you gotta understand is that masturbating is different from sex. For guys a good jerkoff can be relaxing, while sex is draining. It is fun and good but tiring, like a sport. The sooner you get that the sooner you can stop worrying about the fact that he might be watching porn and masturbating because you are somehow not good enough
Second, on the other hand, depends what porn he's watching. Maybe there's some kink he's ashamed to ask you to do. If you can look trough his browser history, do look for stuff like that and maybe offer to do it.
And the bad part, if he pulls shit like "i dont remember agreeing to it", he might not be the best of people, so theres that.
Hope it helped. Feel free to ask for clarification
>>23778270
>>23778267
Well i asked it from him. I like to think that's different than forcing him and giving him an ultimatum.
>>23778274
Thanks for the insight. You really shed some light on the masturbation thing.
(cont. For those who want more info) He says he's stopped and I've looked through his stuff and the folder is gone an his historys clean (he could he deleting history or using incognito windows though).
He seems to have been addicted since puberty but this all happened a month ago.
Feeling good is the excuse he used for breaking the promise (he only masturbated once according to him). He says that the whole situation stressed him out and he felt like shit so he thought a fap would make him feel better or something. (it was the afternoon after the he promised to stop and he promised to stop like at 2AM )
We already elaborated the whole kink thing but it's all really mild. He didn't let me see the folder because apparently it was mostly loli shit (the real porn is what is mild). And that itself bothered me but thats a different discussion.
So my question i guess is, a month later, is it okay for me to still be kinda butthurt? I mean even if he wanted to fap the next afternoon, he had my nudes. He's always had my nudes. I'm still kinda mad about the lies as well.
>>23778361
One month later, no, its okay to be bitchy for a week, not a month. Also about the nudes thing, I'm in a similar situation with my girlfriend right now, as in she doesnt want me to watch porn.
Thing is, the best way to sum this kind of situation up is "If you dont want me to watch porn, you better make sure I dont need to go looking for new stuff myself after I get bored of your nudes." I get that it might sound a bit rude but... it gets stale quick to fap to the same nudes over and over. And it also kinda depends on the nudes, for example a pair of boobs in the mirror is not as hot as... lets say a wet, spread pussy.
My point is, if you want him to give up porn, you better supply him with a steady flow of nudes.
As for finding out if he uses incognito or not, the best way to find out would be to see if he can get hard without much effort or your part. When watching porn the dick quickly gets bored of the current material and wants something heavier, that is why for alot of porn users it can be hard to get their willy up for the "regular" thing, even if it is in real life and not on a screen. A good test would be to see if you can get him hard without taking his pants off. If you can, then porn usage should either be gone, or very reduces, if he is still soft after 20 mins of grinding and palming his crotch, you have every right to be a bitch to him
>>23778433
reduced* fml
I like a gril but she doesn't like me
Wheeew I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders after admitting that, thanks everyone.
>>23778250
Youve only been together 2 months and youre forcing him to quit watching porn? You sound psychotic and insecure as fuck
>>23778664
Read the first sentence of >>23778361
And literally the second sentence of my original post >>23778250
As for the psychotic part, i can't fight you there. The only thing i can add is that we've been best friends for almost 2 years now and finally started dating. I don't know if that makes a difference in your perspective but in my head its not like we just met and I'm controlling him. He agreed to it, i didn't force him.
Now, given that he didn't follow up on what HE initially agreed to do, NOW I'm forcing him. That's all i can really say.
>>23778433
Well I'm not bitchy or anything, what i mean was I'm still not over it and thinking back to it makes me sad/pisses me off. And well i have a high sex drive and i had made sure to let him know that I'm always down to sext him he if gets any urges. He almost always gets fresh nudes. Now, that being said, one of the aspects that I'm mostly butthurt about is that i would be waiting around for him to initiate some sexting and he wouldn't do it. I stopped watching porn when he agreed to stop for me so basically id stay sex deprived while he went and masturbated 4-5 times a week without me.
Also, i hope that works out how you want it to with your girlfriend. I know it's a bit crazy to ask that of someone but to some girls porn can feel unfaithful and make us insecure because it's so fake and the pornstars are usually REALLY attractive. and in my own case it gave my boyfriend ED when he was actually with me. So i wouldn't get sexts and the 1-2 times a week we'd actually have sex he couldn't keep his dick up.
>>23778161
The only reason I lied is because she refused to believe me over and over again.
So I finally broke down and told her what she wanted to hear.
People don't believe truth or evidence, they believe what they want to, what's comfortable.
>>23779203
You think he actually believes porn is realistic, or sets his expectations off of it? Everyone knows it's over the top. That's sometimes the whole fucking point. It sounds like you need to seek help getting over your insane amount of insecurity before you ruin this relationship over fapping habits of all things.
>I wanted him to initiate asking me for nudes
not everyone is comfortable with asking someone to stop everything they're doing to send nudes. Did you explicitly tell him you want him to initiate?
>>23779203
I can't tell if the issue here is that you want him to stop watching porn because it hurts you because you're insecure, or because it hurts him because he's addicted and it's caused you relationship issues.
While I think it's a bit controlling, I'd say that if he wasn't going to agree to it then he shouldn't have said he would and then lied about it. Either go through with what you said you'd do, or don't say you'll do it in the first place.
That being said, it certainly seems like you have your own personal issues, if you got upset to the point of self-harm, and didn't eat for days then it seems like you're more than a little insecure (like many people). I understand not feeling worth it and having body image issues myself, but him watching porn or masturbating to something besides your nudes doesn't make you fat or not good enough.
Just based off what you've said maybe this relationship isn't the best idea. But hey, I'm as fucked up in different ways probably so who am I to say?
>>23779483
okay now youre just attacking me and not even reading my posts.i already said
>i had made sure to let him know that I'm always down to sext him he if gets any urges
in >>23779203
>>23779504
its kinda a mix of all of those things honestly. and well i want to empasize that the porn thing itself isnt really the big issue here. its what started the whole thing but really it was the lies on top of it that got me to the point of self harm, not my insecurities themselves.
no wonder everyones telling me im so insecure i forgot to explicitly point that bit out. its not the porn. its that he lied about it
Why do I keep thinking she there could ever be something between us. Can somebody knock some sense into me?
>>23779537
tell us about it, anon
>>23779549
I kept getting these thoughts and ideas about wanting something nore with someone, but it is pretty much impossible.
>>23779556
why is it impossible? whats stopping it from happening? you miss 100% of the shots you dont take.
I don't want to live any more.
My girlfriend just broke up with me and cut me off. She was perfect. She was one of those people that REALLY gets attached to you. She also has a plethora of other mental issues, but i had the same (or most of them at least).
She was perfect. We were a perfect pair. We could literally talk about ANYTHING. She loved to care about me, in fact she wanted to care for me for the rest or her life.
And then
I don't know what happened.
One day everything was going fine, and the next out of the blue she just says that we have to break up. That she loves me but that we can't be dating because it's not healthy. Now, she knew that it wasn't healthy and so did I, but we still dated because we genuinely loved each other.
I have tried to commit suicide (by slitting my wrist with a box cutter sideways) but obviously I was found and send to the hospital.
I talked to a couple of friends and they agreed that going to a mental hospital is a good idea.
I also talked to one of her friends. He told me that I'm blowing this way out of proportions, that it's just because of the hormones she's taking, and that it's just a phase and that I should just talk to her in a few weeks again.
But deep down I'm afraid that it's not that simple. This is literally the only thing that's still making me hold onto life.
>>23779527
>its not the porn. its that he lied about it
While I get that's the reason you're upset, just being upset your boyfriend lied isn't cause for starving and cutting yourself. I don't want to presume I know you and psychoanalyze, but I'd imagine you're looking at him for a reason to feel okay with yourself/your body.
You held my hand every fucking day after we broke up and gave me every sign that once you got better we would be back together. Now you've pushed me out and got fucking him there replacing me. Him of all people?! He can't even look after himself and has the mental state of an 8 year old. I know you just want someone youu can control but FUCK!
>>23779203
I see, did you ever try to initiate it? Sexting, or sending a random nude around 11-12 pm, just before he goes to bed? You might have a high sex drive, and you might have told him about it, but if he is the one initiating most of the time... he might think that your sex drive isn't as high as you said. You gotta look at it from his perspective too.
One thing I love about my girlfriend is that we both initiate in equal measure. Don't be afraid to try initiating yourself for a few days. You might be insecure about it but tell yourself this "What's he gonna do? Say that he didn't want to see my puss?" Pretty much the only way to help your insecurity is to take a leap and be like "fuck it".
Bottom line. Consistently show him that you want it too. Dont just tell him that you're DTF anytime. From a guy's perspective it looks like "I don't mind sexting and sending nudes... but I'm not really into it either... meh...", which is sometimes a huge turnoff
>>23777572
You're a whore... Where'd the first guy cum in your ass or did you just swallow that load
>been too depressed to do things for about three years now
>parents finally take me to see a therapist
>turns out i may have legit assburgers
>it's a center that specializes in children with learning disabilities but treat adults as well
>most of the people working there are girls and they constantly thank me and praise me for minor shit to try to boost my self-esteem
>i just feel like i'm a harem anime
the autismbux will be nice i guess
You've kind of wrecked me and my ability to enjoy my romantic relationships. I'm with a great, stable guy, who loves me very much, but he isn't as sexually explorative as you were. No guy has been. You made me feel sexy and I did things I didn't think I'd ever do and it felt great. Given what I know of your sexual history after we broke up, I'm thinking you're probably just a sociopath, but I miss how you made me feel. I'm in the best shape I've been in since I was 16, but he doesn't seem to care. I got naked in the car with him like I used to do with you and he acted like I was crazy. I've tried to get him fuck me on my balcony during the day like we used to, but he won't do it for fear of being caught. I've worn the same little outfits I wore for you and he just doesn't seem to care. I don't want him to think I'm a whore (because I'm not) but he doesn't make me feel sexy. I want to feel sexy again.
>>23780068
It sounds like he is more reserved and you are just making him feel really uncomfortable. Have you actuall talked to him about how you feel? Instead of just jumping him with public nudity or things he fears will get him in trouble, start smaller and TALK to him about how you are feeling.
>>23780079
Thank you for your insight. We've talked about it a handful of times and he says he finds me sexy, but we just continue to have missionary sex followed by doggie once a week. I try to gently spice things up (I got some of those stupid furry handcuffs so he could chain me to my headboard and I told him I'd do whatever he wanted), but it just doesn't seem to matter.
>>23780121
Some people are more sexually adventurous than others, it's really as simple as that. My bf is vanilla as fuck while I am not, I have introduced things to him that he clearly just wasn't into. I am sure he finds you sexy but his idea of good sex is what he is giving you. Perhaps he is more into the idea of being submissive towards you, try cuffing him to the bed and seeing how it goes? (ask first)
>>23780129
I actually thought the same thing that maybe he was into being more submissive. He wanted me to wear heels (that he bought me...he really is a sweet guy) while we have sex. It was just as vanilla as usual. I can satisfy him and I really like him (kind of love him because he's a great guy and treats me well), I just don't feel satisfied and don't know what to do about it.
>>23771482
It took us three days to make that potato salad... Three days!!!
>>23779620
I'm going to confront the guy today. Fuck this nonsense.
>>23780587
so how'd it go?
>>23771482
your post seems like the perfect bait,i'm not even sure if you are legit
>>23771482
I am 28 year old and I am still a virgin. Sometimes I think the only way I am going to lose my v-card is by raping someone.
>>23780948
At this point, you should just go to some place you're not used to go, and ask directly lone girls if they want to spend the afternoon/night with you.
Try to find a loner girl studying on a coffee shop or something, this is when they want the most to release stress.
You're not ugly and if you cut your hair a bit you might get a chance.
Just don't go rape someone.
You told me when I met u that you'd be leaving this summer for work. I just didn't think I would fall in love w you. I didn't think you'd fly me home to meet your parents. I didn't think you'd help me in all aspects of my life. Didn't know you were going to start planning to marry me.
You keep telling me we're going to make it work and even though I believe you I'm just so vastly lonely. Don't know how to do this without you. I've never been broken up w before, I know you're not breaking up w me but you leaving is too similar and I don't know how to cope.
I love you so much and I hate that this is happening.
You want me to come w you but I can't and you say you're afraid to leave me here, you don't trust me. That's my fault, I cheated on you when we first met but you chose to forgive me. I still cry bout that shit. I don't know what kind of person I was. I would never do that to you again.
Please don't leave me. Please don't hate me for not coming w you.
Never once in our relationship did I ever lie to you or mistreat you. I always gave you respect and every ounce of love I could muster. A couple fuck ups on my part that I profusely apologized to you for, and that I agreed with you on. How many times I told you it tears me up and kills me that I upset and hurt you like that. And you you barely want to talk to me. I gave you literally everything I had to give and not even 5 days after we broke up you're sleeping with another dude you hung out with before, and I remember that weekend you barely talked to me while I stood duty on one of the shittiest weekends I'd had in a long time. And even though we're still talking. I've showed the same love and care for you I've always given you, but you can barely return a hello. You've hurt and broken me more than I ever did because of my mistakes and whenever I see a photo of you or pass by somewhere we associated I can barely suppress the urge to vomit. Even though you'll probably never feel the same way about me as you used to, know that I'd still drop everything to come by your side. And I hope you go to bed every night knowing nobody could give you their all like I gave you.
I will always fucking love you and that's what kills me.
>>23781204
Forgot a part.
And I remember glancing over to you while you were on your phone, and seeing the kissing face and heart emojis you'd sent to someone. What the fuck was that about? And don't think I didn't see the text Francis sent you with the kissing emojis either. I'd had a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach about what you did when I was gone or not looking, and your actions last week all but confirmed what I'd feared most.
>>23774074
Name?
J
i was ready for more
I was ready for The next few steps
I know we werent ready for The Baby
But you didnt Need to abort it
We would have done it somehow
But you were already finished with The relationship
I Never found someone who was so perfect for me
And your Last words at me still eat at me from The inside
I hope you Never get really happy
>>23780790
He's just being used by her to get at me. They aren't even sleeping together. They guy was a real bro though and understood my concerns and with other pieces of information he gave me I think he can be trusted.
This girl is becoming poison. I need to stop loving her.
>>23771482
I made it so abundantly clear when we started dating how important sex was too me. We talked about how nice it was our sex drives lined up, I told you how I pitied men who were in sexless relationships, how I could never stay in one. You understood. You agreed.
Now, six years, a marriage, and two children later, we've had sex twice in the last year. You refuse counseling, you refuse hormone tests, you act repulsed if I even touch you. You made me into a roomate who spends all day working and caring for our kids. Are they even my kids? You still talk to your ex-husband. How can our son have a simian crease if nether of us do? Why does your ex have a simian crease? Why wont you stop talking to him when I ask you not to?
I hate you and love you so much that I just sit and shake, torn between so many different emotions and lies I tell myself to get through the day.
I just want someone that wants to cuddle. guys never want to fucking cuddle. I want to come home from work, get naked, get into bed and have someone to cuddle while i sleep.
>>23781554
I'm a guy and I want to cuddle. I'm not vocal about it though because it sounds 'not manly' :/
I want to cuddle, fuck and then cuddle some more
>>23781554
all i fucking want is to cuddle. be my gf
>>23771482
I hate myself and want to die. I've been going to therapy at the behest of my parents but I hate that too because I know that no amount of talking and having my feelings acknowledged can undo what I've done to myself. I'm nothing but a burden to everyone around me.
>>23776510
>>23779474
I'm curious to know what happened, anon.
>>23781562
You can just cuddle a girl and theyll be like fuck yes. If I try to cuddle it's like im cuddling a plank of wood, the worst is when they just roll over and make it plainly obvious they dont want it.
>>23781942
done, be in my bed in five
>>23781996
She frequents here so I can't really tell the story in much detail seeing as I don't feel like being accosted.
The short of it is I fell in love with someone who I shouldn't have, and I knew this from the beginning and I couldn't stop myself.
You know when people say it's like watching a train wreck, well this was like being locked inside of a car watching the train come straight for you.
It's not just the humiliating and degrading feelings, it's the massively frustrating momentary feeling of false hope that I let myself have.
The people who say false hope isn't real or isn't dangerous are people who actually have a chance for hope.
We were never supposed to be anything, but I fell in love and you'd never leave me when I asked. You never told me " I love you" sober. You want your fucking ex back, and she's across the states telling another dude the same shit she tells you. I'm done. I love you and I miss you but I'm done.
>>23771703
Aww I love chubby dudes :(
>>23782006
He's afk, I'll take his place.
>>23782116
I feel ya. The same thing happened to me, sort of? Met him on this board too, actually. In the sense that I fell in love when I knew I should have tried harder to get out of it. There were too many things in the way to make things work out and I should've just given up. Kept going anyway because I thought if I fought hard enough for it things would change because I thought he was worth it, fooled myself into thinking that he cared deeply enough for me. He planted false hope too in his own little ways. Shit hit the fan and basically got my heart and soul wrecked.
Sorry. Rant. But... yeah. I get it. False hope is a motherfucker.
>>23781489
sounds like a bad situation man. it's never easy to break something off, especially when you still care for the other person.
>>23777807
That's my name , but of course info is online everywhere. I don't hide anything on insta, fb, twitter, snap, etc.
I'm just wonderin who this is and why you care enough to post about me here
>rant about whats on my mind
>post doesnt show up in thread
wtf?!
>>23782644
Give us a tl;dr
>>23782201
For me the false hope was completely my fault, a momentary lapse in judgement which I regret probably more than anything else in my life.
It's kind of funny I've even tried to actively hate her, but after trying that a while ago something happened and I cared about her more than ever before.
I wish I could have articulated myself better and that she would have at least believed me.
She believed that I was upset because things didn't work out with us or that she wasn't with me.
She never believed me when I told her I was only upset with myself, not her.
The whole complicated and jumbled mess of drama was so completely degrading and humiliating to be involved in.
And don't be sorry about ranting isn't that the point of this thread?
False hope is a motherfucker, and you know what they say if it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all.
>>23771703
I know what you mean, I'm working on my weight mainly because of how high peoples standards are.
Why is it I'm so shy with meeting new people and making the first move on someone? It's the biggest fucking setback for me when meeting/messaging new people. Coupled with the fact of being large. It doesn't really help.
But hey, I'm working on it. It's getting better both shyness and size.
