>>23776332
craigslist is trash where you'll definitely meet up with a) a dude who is going to push your butt in in the back room of his trailer (b) a woman who has 4 unfed children screaming while she shoots up and is just trying to get laid

okcupid is all right. from what I hear it's mostly relatively heavy girls on there, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. from my perspective, it was slightly more in-depth than plenty of fish, because they work harder with questions to find you a match.

tinder is actually surprisingly useful because it acknowledges how superficial we are at a basic level. you don't talk to each other unless you both think the other's hot.

I ended up with success on PoF and OKCupid, but dealt with my share of rape threats and men with tiny hands on both.

its just like going to a bar. you're gonna have to go multiple times and deal with a lot of fucking weirdos before you find someone worth more than a one-night stand.

good luck

>>23776369
Thanks, How about match?

>>23776332
>>23776369
My experience with OkCupid as a man is that the women are insanely fickle. You can be having a conversation and then one day they will just never reply. I've also had long conversations that lasted several days, but the moment you ask them out to do something, they're done with you. It is very difficult to get someone to commit to actually meeting on OkCupid, at least as far as I've seen.

OkCupid has a lot of weird folks, but I guess that's online dating sites in general. I've noticed that OkCupid's question system is pretty shitty because it doesn't really have much to do with how well you match. If I do read someone's answers, its because I'm only looking for a specific few, because the rest are pretty useless.

Thus far, the solution seems to be to like everyone that catches your eye, and to try to start a conversation with everyone, because only a handful might bite, and out of the ones that do, almost none will commit to a date attempt, despite having previously shown interest.

Honestly, OkCupid makes it feel like work. You could probably forget about it and spend half as much time in a bar/club and probably score (not even sexually, just get to talk to an actual face for some time versus cheap chat on a website for a few sentences) far, far more often.

>>23776461
Oh, I forgot to finish my though about how the women act. Do not get me wrong on this, I'm not blaming them. I think its easy to feel they're fickle from my position, but the reality is likely that they get bombarded by messages, and can only respond to a select few who catch their eye, and those are the people they might go take on a date. This is likely also the reason I have conversations that FEEL like they're going somewhere, but then die, because the woman has been contacted/been talking to someone they eventually decide is a better choice for them.

Online dating is shitty in a way because instead of competing against every person in the bar/club that night for a woman's attention, you have to compete with any given man that happens to be online, which could be even hundreds who attempt to contact those same set of women you are.

You're basically making it harder on yourself. As
>>23776369
put it, Tinder is really useful because it recognizes the niche that people just want to find someone that's hot to them. OkCupid ends up being the same, but with far more work involved. It just doesn't have enough depth to it to actually be a very effective site to find dates.

>>23776473
Thanks man. I will try it out. you are awesome

I'm gay and I tend to use sites which cater toward a certain niche (bears, chubby chasers, etc.). However, my str8 friend is into online dating and recommends that I try some of the not-necessarily gay male-oriented dating sites. Which ones do you think would be viable for me? They don't necessarily have to cater a great deal to bears and chub... they can be found everywhere, and everywhere are people who will appreciate someone in spite of their size, body fat index or quantity of body hair.

Craigslist is more miss than hit in my experience. I've yet to hear of anyone finding their soulmate on CL. Most people either find sex, psycho or sketch.

I don't know how anyone can even find sex at a bar... unless it's also a bath club / adult sex venue... let alone someone to date. Maybe if you start dancing with someone, and then you start talking and have chemistry and continue to talk?

Everything offline seems more hit than miss to me. It's easy to just sort people in a local area for the qualities you like, check out their profiles, hit them up and see if anything happens after that.

Speaking strictly for myself... I know there are sometimes stretches of time where I'm off my rocker horny, spend hours and hours each day on these sites... talk dirty with people and masturbate and then I've burned off that steam and I've got other things in life to deal with. It's biologically impossible for most people to stay in that state of "on" all the time. Although an intentional living community where people barter for goods with sex would be nice....

>>23776461
>>23776473
I definitely know what you mean about OkCupid feeling like work, it definitely feels more tedious than my actual work.
I had a frustrating experience the other day with a woman who I seemed to be having a promising conversation with.
I was fairly surprised when she responded to me seeing that she was massively out of my league
But she told me I was the only other guy she's talked to in days that she's had a remotely worthwhile conversation with.
Then all the sudden she just stopped responding and hasn't logged back on.

Also for someone that's getting into/doesn't have a clue how it works, what's generally an appropriate amount of conversations/time to have before asking her out for coffee or something like that?

>>23777172
She probably got discourage and/or had other things to do or other places to look since she wasn't hitting any home runs on that field. I've taken hiatuses and migrated from one site to another and back when all people were capable of was one-word conversations... or they want to chat with you but have nothing to say themselves. It's akward sometimes on those sites being yourself but heat mode is one that seems to work wherever the (at least mental) concept of plug-and-play applies.

I've learned not to expect anything and not to be disappointed. Which, aside from living in BFE, is probably why it ends up being all mental masturbation...

>>23777296
The only reason it felt frustrating was because we were having a actual detailed and semi technical discussion about a mutual hobby.
Then she just stopped mid-conversation and hasn't logged back on since then.

yeah I learned not to keep my hopes up when a month or so back I signed up for all the sites and apps.
I talked with this chubby but fairly nice seeming girl for a couple of weeks because she kept postponing getting drinks.
She eventually fessed up and told me she wasn't going to go on any dates because she "isn't ready to date again"
Being a under average attractive guy and out of the dating scene for years makes online dating seem fairly daunting and tedious.