ITT: people post about being the ugly and/or fat friend.
I just looked back at old high school pics (thanks to facebook's little "on this day X years ago" feature) and realized I was the duff. It really feels shitty, can't believe it took me 7 years to figure it out. I just want some anons to commiserate.
>>23892177
Post some of those pics so we get a idea
>"Hey anon your friend is cute can you sent me up with him?"
>"Hey anon can I have your friend's number?"
>etc
>tfw
Picture for reference I guess
>>23892257
Hey, is that guy on the left single?
I wouldn't call myself ugly but I'd be low on that spectrum.
I am quite large and I just figured out that the only reason people invite me out is to get rid of unwanted or clingy people.
6'2 150kgs/320lbs
>>23892243
don't be too harsh, I'm already on a downward self-loathing spiral.
I'm the one on the far right, orange dress.
>>23892328
5'3" 133 pounds. Since puberty, I've always been at least a little squishy. All my high school friends were thin and pretty.
second from the left.
>>23892331
Actually I'd consider you the second best looker of the lot. Second only to blue dress far left. I think you are being way too harsh on yourself honestly
>>23892170
this would be me if I actually had friends.
>>23892331
you are the atleast top 2 in the prom picture, the bikini one no one really does anything for me except the girl on the very left
I'm often left out of group pictures. Was the DUFF through most of my life. Now I just don’t have friends.
>>23892331
>>23892335
You have an ideal body type to me, I can't really explain why. I'd like to chat, do you have Kik?
>>23892366
I'd be happy to be your special friend with benefits
Zach pls stop
>>23892366
eeh you aren't bad looking, average-ish, hard to tell from the picture, i'd be surprised if you were the ugliest.
last one, I had much worse skin in high school than I do now, so at least I improved in that way.
>>23892341
I appreciate that, but I'm really surprised. You don't think the blonde in the gold dress is absolutely perfect? I was borderline bicurious for her back then.
>>23892342
don't feel too bad, that is essentially my life now. I have one friend, and she is my coworker.
>>23892364
Yeah, the girl on the far left was (and probably still is) damn near perfect. Skinny, large boobs, and pretty. I was always jealous of her.
>>23892366
When i think back, I believe I always had to push myself into them, often I was on the outside, almost cut off by the end of the frame. I feel your pain :(
>>23892372
you just like pudgy girls, I think. I don't have a kik, I'm too far out of touch with modern communication methods. I still use facebook instead of twitter/insta/vine.
>>23892383
>>23892366
I agree with this anon, I find it hard to believe you were the duff, unless your friends were models. I think you're pretty.
>>23892390
Nope, you aren't what I'd call pudgy. I think your face and hair are attractive too. How about Skype? I'm sure you have that.
>>23892331
You are hotter than 4 out of 5 of those other girls so there is that
I'm always the third wheel when it comes to things, all my friends are always in relationships so I'm kinda of screwed. They've been that way since highschool but it doesn't help I only have like a handful of good friends.
>>23892390
you are probably the most attractive one in this picture, the blonde-ish girl is the only competition though
In highschool I was for sure. Was always pretty chubby, then descended into full hamplanet mode after school so my duff status was even more solid.
If I still had friends I'd be the duff.
>>23892335
3 rd hottest here
>>23892390
You should definitely be posting in small girls I agree with the other anons
>>23892170
ITT: insecure average looking people
>>23892425
it sucks to be the third wheel. I do have a bf currently, but I was always the odd-man-out in high school. Sorry dude. I don't think you deserve to be the duff, but maybe your facial hair could use an update? It looks kind of Amish right now.
>>23892429
damn man, thanks for making me feel better. I feel like I look like a 40-year-old smoker.
>>23892430
Ah it's like an endless cycle, isn't it? We feel shitty, so we treat ourselves like shit, and then we feel even shittier...
>>23892434
thanks dude. if you don't mind me asking, what is your ranking for everyone in that bikini pic? I know the girl on the far left is #1 (that's a given), and you said I am #3, but I'm curious about the rest of us.
>>23892458
everyone is someone's duff, and everyone can have a duff.
"average" might be the absolute rating, but relative to our friends anyone can be a duff. It just hurts a bit to realize it in retrospect.
>>23892469
Eh I'm down about 40 lbs now, and that's just kinda how it grows I get Amish a lot. I wear boots and jeans normally so it kinda goes. I'm also too ugh of a nice guy so I just kinda go with the flow.
>>23892479
I still think you gain more from having your confidence boosted than having your looks improved, yes I do mean you as in you all generically
>>23892517
Sometimes it goes hand in hand. Looks boost confidence or better confidence encourages you to change your looks.
>>23892533
true, but talking hypothetically, if they only gained one of them
if they gained the looks they would still not get anywhere because they would compare themselves to next higher up they found and let their insecurity take the lead and end up exactly where they are now
on the other hand, if they gained some self confidence they would realize their opportunities and get what they wanted without it
people who are legit ugly, not ugly in some situations relative to those who are in the room, can mange to get far by having some confidence, so why would not you?
>>23892517
>>23892533
I think you're both right, but confidence/self-esteem are very tricky.
One day I'll feel sexy af, the next day I'll post threads like this one and just go through pictures of myself/others and focus on all the stuff that's wrong with me. One day I'll eat whatever I want, the next day I'll try to starve myself. It's a rollercoaster I've been on since about 2009, and I think most people are going through something similar.
Advice? For the record, I'm already exercising regularly, I've gotten an education, I have hobbies, I go outside... all of the typical stuff people suggest. I did see a therapist for a bit while I was in undergrad, but now my insurance won't cover it, so that's not an option.
>>23892549
This is a fair point. At one point I got so obsessed with my body that I worked out for 2-3 hours a day and ate ~1200 cals/day, I dropped down to 110 pounds. I was fit as fuck, but I still hated my body just as much. Nothing changed.
>>23892551
challenge your insecurities and trust facts over feelings, it might be hard at first but over time it should become natural
but trust the facts, meaning that if you are feeling down one day, you should refer to the facts and let them decide, you do know they are right after all.
I think men have the advantage here as we are less emotionally controlled but it should not be a problem for women either, and you could consider it a exercise in building mental strength as well, emotions are good and should be acknowleged but you should be in control of them
>>23892569
I like the direction you're going in, I think it has merit, but:
what facts, though? beauty/attractiveness is generally an opinion, how could I measure it objectively or what 'facts' would I rely on here?
>>23892558
exactly.
this is the standard example of what happens when people focus on their looks instead of gaining confidence.
working out should be about self improvement in what you are doing as a workout, not about your body, that is the secondary effect that come on its own, you don't need to focus on it
maybe you should try a different sport that you enjoy more and that will let you get more into the fun of the sport itself?`
>>23892549
Even people with confidence still doubt themselves that's how most wars are lost being overconfident.
>>23892551
I feel disgusted when I look at myself so I imagine people feel the same. I bust my ass at work, bust my ass at gym, then come home. Maybe hang out with one of two friends during the week once or twice. I also diet. I'm kind of a shut in but at the sometime there is literally nothing to do around here and the people are pretty shitty so I avoid them or can't find anyone I like.
>>23892558
I feel better everytime I look I'm the mirror and notice a difference and it makes we want to do more.
Also I'm prolly going to bed my kik is randommang if anyone wishes further contact. Night.
>>23892584
hmmm, I like that idea. right now I'm just going to the gym, but I think playing an actual sport would probably help me to get the focus off of the exercise itself and more on the fun of it.
>>23892590
Are lost and being overconfident.*
>>23892569
I don't feel like I have an advantage as a man, I honestly feel lonely as fuck because it seems like there's never anyone present to support me in my endeavour so it doesn't help my already not good mental health. Mental health is a lot of the problems with people now a days because they just get so stressed out.
>>23892579
you think too specific, if you know you can feel sexy as fuck and you got some looks that day when you walked down the street, then that was real
even if it is also true that someone else had better "X" than you
women also more often than men forget that they come as a complete package, or so I feel, you get caught up in one little detail as if it would ruin everything.
imagine getting a house appraised, if one room was not renovated or there was some paint missing on a wall in the basement it would not make the house worthless and many people would love to live there and don't mind such minor details, those are the facts.
was that more clear?
>>23892592
Weight training is the way to go make them gains
My dream is to find a qt short girl who loves working out too
>>23892609
you are a individual, people are different, what I said was generic.
And I do believe that when men find themselves in positions like that it can become worse for some of them because of that generic truth, people don't think you need it as much because you are a man, but you the individual do need it.
I hope you find someone that will support you anon
>>23892634
Yeah all your points are very valid on generic terms, are you a psych or soc related school wise thing person lol sorry it's late
And thank you.
i have the greatest experience at thirdweeling because my best friends have continuously been only the most attractive girls of my peer group. when guys approach, it's only to get closer to my friend ('let's meet up and oh could you bring your friend too?' - he then canceled the date bc she couldn't come) or to score information about them.
i'v gotten used to it, so eh.
>>23892658
I just don't like to see people suffer unnecessary so I try to give my perspective to help them reflect on the situation, that is all
>>23892425
shave that godamn chinstrap. It's heinous.
You'd look fine shaven or with a full beard.
I've been obese my whole life and I've never known not being the fat person in a group. I figured out I was more the person to take advantage of or use for what I had rather than an actual friend pretty early on.
I'm only a 5'3 woman and was once 350-370 lbs, but I'm currently 214 lbs after spending around 15 months losing weight. I'm going to see if I can find some real friends when I lose more and become a normal weight. I hope I can figure out how to lose some of my intense levels of awkwardness along with the fat, though pff.
>>23892671
ask them to wingman for you?
if they are your best friends this should not be a problem
you could also expand your social circles, realize dating is done everywhere there are people of the opposite gender and meet people somewhere else then when out clubbing and in a setting that is less mainly focused on body and looks
maybe pursue some of these things alone instead of as a group?
>>23892721
thats good progress! Just make sure you never sacrifice your health for losing weight, then its suddenly not worth it anymore
I'm sure you will become more confident as you improve and that will help you shake the awkwardness =)
>>23892170
>Mae Whitman is a DUFF
Hell no. She's my girl crush. Especially when she was in Scott Pilgrim
>>23892331
>>23892335
>>23892390
You're actually really pretty and cute, I'm digging the curly hair too. Not a lot of girls can pull it off but you do
>>23892739
Thanks, anon! I've made sure not to go too crazy with losing it super fast or anything like that.
I'll stay optimistic that I'll get rid of that awkwardness. I have noticed I've become a bit more confident at this point, so that's an improvement for sure!
It's kind of you to take the time to respond and help everyone here.
I used to be the DUFF in my friend group until I lost all the weight. Then my ex roommate, who I thought was my closest friend, said some really shitty things about me behind my back so I stopped being her friend. I guess she was pissed that I wasn't the gross one anymore
I'm the guy on the right and I am always the duff
>>23892811
then its all good, slow and purposeful is the way to go with self improvement, and the confidence feels good right?
thank you, though I really think what I am doing should be more the norm, there is no reason to tear down people around you for no reason
if I see people trying to improve it is also a bit inspiring regardless of what it is, its just nice to see people discover that drive in themselves, you know?
>>23892335
Has best body there thinks she's fat "one man's trash is another man's tresure" one person opinion of fat is another's idea of smoking hot
>>23892889
>>23892882
lose weight
get rid of ridiculous goatee
learn to fashion
done
Always been the duff then last summer happen. Got a gf for 3 months, lost my virginity, self confidence sky rocketed, started talking to girls.
Still fat but not that ugly but I can get girls because I'm funny and self confident thank to that one girl who made me lose my virginity last summer.
I'm 6'1 300 pounds
Pretty much always, sometimes some girls get interested but stop talking after realizing I'm poor as fuck.
>>23892331
You're the only one worth a fuck, stop fishing
>>23894773
1) Don't be poor
Problem solved.
>>23894806
Yep it's that easy when your dad fucks you over with debts
>>23892691
My face looks really fat tho
>>23894758
Wish I had your luck
>>23894773
If they leave you cause you're poor they're shitty anyways
I've always been considered the DUFF of my friends groups. I kinda stopped caring after a while.
>>23895274
You're cute af, got kik?
>>23895288
Haha thank you! It's ablexxive
>>23895288
OH I'm also new here so if I mess anything up, sorry! I'm still learning to use the site haha.
>>23894773
your main problem is your depression, not your looks
>>23892425
You need a confidence boost, man.
What if my entire friend group is DUFF?
>>23895274
Lose a pound of makeup. It makes you look insecure. Otherwise, you are beautiful.
Been a DUFF all my life, not gonna lie it gets lonely.
>>23895274
Too much make up
>>23895381
Then you guys have awkward times at social events?
>>23895391
I'm just saying that only about one of us is any better looking than I am.
>>23895386
Haha I happen to be a licensed hair and makeup artist so that'll probably never happen but thank you for the suggestion.
DUFFs are indicative of the age group of people that use that term. if you take care of yourself and focus on the aspects of life you have versus what you don't have, you will be attractive. Men and women both look best between 25-35 years old anyway, no matter how awkward or ugly they looked as kids.
>>23895392
Well like are you each others duff or do you guys just happen to actually be good friends
>>23895400
For being licensed you can see right through your lips not trying to be rude just pointing it out
>>23895388
at least youre the fat friend not the ugly friend
>>23895459
We're just good friends.
>>23895465
Tbh dude if you lose the side burns your face doesn't really look all that bad I'd just do something with a haircut and it looks like you have a neck so embrace it lol
>>23892331
I don't think you were the duff, you were just a member of the ugly girls' club. Everyone is kind of ugly there especially the girl on the far left
>>23895223
that beard isn't making your face look any less fat
if you stopped shaving the front part that might help idk
The only thing stopping me from being the dumb and ugly and fat friend is the fact that I have zero friends
>>23895368
It's the combination of that man, I'm depressed and bad looking.
>>23895223
Well hard to find a sweet girl isn't it? I don't deserve anyone anyways.
>>23895464
Oh? Can I ask an odd question? How does one date now a days? I work retail so my schedule is screwed up (no weekends) I don't have many friends that are local. And I'm a bit of a home body so I don't get out much. Any advice?
>>23895274
You look like a clown
>>23895506
If there was a front part lol
>>23895512
Yeah I've had two relationshits got used & abused.
>>23895522
Got the same problem it's awkward because of the culture now
>>23895607
Well had a gf in high school but got cucked ppretty hard and lost all my confidence after that.
was fat but I don't think ugly, but I always felt pretty bad about it anyway. My friend group was ridiculous though. About 7 of them become models at various points of our youth.
>>23895795
Which are you?
>>23895798
the fat one?
>>23895510
whats ur name? i think i know u
>>23892671
Aww anon you're such a cutie though!
>>23895803
truly, there are no fat chicks in that pic, just cute girls.
>>23895274
You're very pretty but I do agree you have quite a bit of makeup going on. Even if you feel plain without it I bet you're just as cute with less
>>23892366
I'm assuming you're fat, cause you're definitely not ugly.
Hey, I'm the designated good-looking guy plagued with mental illness. Always the 3rd wheel! All this shit is going to waste. I'm almost 30 and everybody I went to school with has had wives and kids by now.
I know it's my personality because people picked on me a lot back in school. Also, biploar depression, persistant depression, meds, and lack of confidence!
>>23895795
You gotta be fishing, i take it you must be the blonde on the right with the way you're talking
>>23895885
I'm not a great looking guy, but same anon.
Fat ugly friend here, anyone want to chat?
Kik: skipandhop187
20/F
>>23895844
>>23895930
I know right
>>23895932
>was fat
>was
How are you holding up in the present?
>>23895930
Really not fat tho quit fishing lol
>>23895958
She has a big stomach and probably a double chin if her head was in resting position. Probably has a fat ass too ayylmao
>>23895972
but i mean shes really not that fat tho lol, but ayyy fat ass doe
>>23892331
At least #2 of all of them
>>23892331
At least #3 of 6. Tough compitition >>23892335
>>23895930
>>23895932
This is a joke right? You're the best looking one in that group. Top aryan genes
>>23896195
please stfu
>>23895512
people who look worse can do better than what you are doing now because they have confidence, I don't think you realize how big of a factor confidence is.
>>23895930
lol
not fat
>>23896315
people obviously have different opinions on fat then. I was overweight. simple
>>23896386
Post another pic of your fat self so the bullshit will stop tyty
>>23896395
it was years ago. I dont have many from then. Phone cameras were pretty meh in those days
>>23896437
Post current self then? For curiosity.
>>23895810
what do you think it is?
I'm considered the ugliest one of my friends
I'm the one in the middle which is pretty obvious
>>23892469
Sorry for late response bikini pick goes far left,2nd from right, then you,then far right, middle right, middle left.
>>23896510
>which is pretty obvious
not really
none of you are particularly attractive...
you're probably the one with least confidence though, which is probably the only stand out thing
those glasses do nothing for your eyes, get a pair with a larger frame so the top part of the frame isn't on line with the top of your eye
>>23892366
Dubs and hot...
>>23892721
Kik?
>>23895274
Gimme your kik. Maybe we can exchange that make up on your face with something else ;)
>>23895930
But you're hot anyways so...
>>23896437
Post a current pic then
First hand experience ugly friend.
All my friends around me always have guys liking them or asking them out, not havin a good time.
>>23896616
>>23896626
>>23896631
>>23896642
This is a duff thread not a thirsty turd thread.
>>23897221
How tall are you?
And the real question what is your ethnicity? I hardly see how you're a duff unless your friends are legit dime pieces or something.
>>23897227
my friends are pretty, not dimes though.
5'6" and a mix of some different areas on the other side of the world
I've got a fairly big social circle, quite handsome friends so competing for grills is mostly impossible. Being slightly overweight is sadly a deal-breaker for most here, and it truly has a negative impact on your confidence. I'm really tired of being the tag-along that sleeps alone at night
>>23896510
It's in reverse order really.
The dude on the right is the most attractive, then you, and the last bro is the worst.
Also, you look like Vinny from The Jersey Shore.
>>23897221
>>23897260
ask your friends to wing for you, problem solved
>>23897221
You're cute af really. Not sure why guys aren't trying for you, I definitely would.
>>23897274
lol if only it worked, the guys rather like to go for them instead, the winging doesn't bode well for me
I could probably live a good long life being an excellent wingwoman though
>>23897260
also: being overweight is something you can work on it you want to, and it will have the reverse effect on your confidence too
>>23897274
Yeah, tried that a couple of times, they either fail or end up with the grill themselves. Greedy cunts .D
>>23897299
Yeah. Problem is motivation
>>23897259
You actually look really similar to someone I went to school with.
You're definitely a qt I figured you were like super tall or something, obviously smart, what am I missing besides the friends?
>>23897294
then they are doing it wrong, they could just tell the guy lies that made them seem like bad choices, like they could just lie about being a single mom, being engaged to a new guy, on your period and with herpes, if they still go for her you both should laugh at him and leave
>>23897300
if they take the girl themselves they are not as good a friend as you think they are, sorry
maybe you both should change up the places you try to hook up?
dating is done everywhere you have a chance of interacting with someone of the opposite gender, or anywhere you interact with other people if you're bisexual, not just while clubbing and while drunk.
How many great relationships was built on the qualities people go for in a nightclub?
>>23897308
I'll tell you what I tell myself stop being a fucking bitch and do something for yourself
>>23897308
I get that, start small, everything helps
1 or 2 days a week at first, do something easy or something you consider fun, even LARP'ing would count
if you are an animal person the classic solution is to get a dog =)
>>23897321
The girl usually have a choice aswell. I can't really force it if it's not there, so who am I to deny my friend a good time if there's no chance for myself?
I live in a small town with a population of around 25k. Our culture rarely involve dating outside clubbing or internet interactions. I guess its a lack of social services
>>23897351
Sounds like you live where I do lol
>>23897347
>>23897330
Yeah i've been through this several times, I end up saying "Tomorrow, I'll do something" and it repeats itself until I stop thinking about it. It snows alot here, rarely summer. I like mountain hiking, natural workouts, but its quite difficult to do due to the fact that the mountains are covered in snow 8 months a year.
I'm a cat guy, I like dogs but never thought about getting one. A bit to much responsibility
>>23897360
It's a common problem :D
>>23897364
I mean I just go I go right after work even if it's only for 30 minutes you can't keep doing that to yourself and just have to do.
>>23897351
you don't understand what I'm saying, people date when they interact, it is a myth that it only happens in the designated areas and while doing specific activities, human beings don't work like that
if you sit at the library and you get into a conversation with someone there about a book or an author, then you have 10 times the chance of getting anywhere with that person that you ever did if met them in a club, because you have so much more common ground now.
basically, if you can make a friend somewhere, then dating is possible there, don't limit yourself.
most people I know meet people through activities they do, work, sports, hobbies, that kind of thing
go clubbing together at a later stage instead, way more fun, then you get to enjoy the nightlife without any secondary objectives
>>23897364
I'd give the dog a bit more consideration, you could take it to dog training events too and meet people, aka expose yourself to potential partners
and do some research, there might be some kind of winter activity you would enjoy too, or move to a place in the world that better suit you, you own your life
>>23897383
>>23897374
Yeah of course, I understand the dating concept. I'll give it some thought and adapt accordingly. Thanks for the tips
>>23897405
its not an order btw, lol, but I do hope it helps, best of luck to you =)
