Tea time!
Whats going on friends, hows life treating you? Anything you guys want to talk about? Anything you need to get off your chest? I'm hear to listen to people and offer advice, I'm a professional nobody on the internet who can help out!
I'll bite. I just went through a really horrible and rough breakup. I'm really not in a good emotional state right now. I'm trying to feel okay, but it's just not working. What's worse, is that I have all this shit of hers in my apartment that I can't seem to get rid of. I've been considering throwing all her stuff into a trash bag and just taking it out to a field somewhere and burning it, but I haven't been able to force myself to make the motions of picking it up and putting it in a bag.
Worse still, is I have this extremely masochistic tendency to incessantly read her reddit account where she talks constantly about the new person she's seeing. I can't seem to fucking make myself stop doing it. It literally feels impossible not to do.
The only thing I've been able to be strong enough to control is my desire to contact her to lay some sort of disgusting horrible guilt trip on her. I've maintained no contact for I think 2 weeks. But reading all the shit about her fucking a new person is eroding that I think. The desire to write her an email or text her and metaphorically take a big steaming dump in her cereal bowl is growing rapidly. I thought I got over the rage phase but it feels like it's coming back with a vengeance.
wat do, an hero?
>>23838238
An hero? Nonono, thats a terrible fucking idea. Let me first say that this sort of thing is gonna be a tough one for you, but its something that you'll have to accept, live, and persevere.
So this all sounds quite recent, and one thing is that you'll probably be all fucked up for a long time about this, I wont lie. You'll have to allow yourself to actually go through the motions of shit like this.
Secondly you actually do need to get rid of her shit, I mean it sitting around really will keep this all into the forethought of your mind, getting rid of it will help you with the small moment to moment parts of the day where you'll actually allow yourself to breath and think about other shit.
What I would say is honestly stay out of contact, talking to her will be the worst thing for you, just delete her number, delete her email, do your best to forget everything you know about her.
Fact is she left you and is with another guy, she left a bunch of shit with you, you're slowly killing yourself by keeping a shadow around her. Life fucking sucks, and I get it, I'm on my second marraige so I totally understand the hard shit, my first wife left me while I was in Iraq, so I swear I truly know the deal.
You need to learn that no one will help you but yourself man, you have to find the will power, where ever the fuck you can, and do the right thing for you.
I believe in you man, but you gotta do the hard stuff first, get rid of her shit, forget everything you can about her, try to relearn who you are and live for yourself, thats the best thing you can do.
shazam
I keep getting ghosted and ignored by girls, specially after seeing my face. I'm such a disgusting depressed, clingy, insecure piece of shit. I should just kill myself and spare people from dealing with me.
>21 5'9" 155lbs
>kissless virgin
>never dated
>called cute before
>don't see anyone I knew from hs/college anymore
>shutin
How do I recover?
Do I start working out to build my confidence?
Honestly I'm such a loser I don't even know.
>>23838964
I'll start of with what I told the other guy, no one will help you but yourself. You are the only person you can count on to help unfuck your life.
You're depressed, sorry dude, that sucks, but live with it. Do your best to persevere.
Clingy? Well turn that shit down a little so you don't scare people off, literally, chill that shit out.
Insecure? Do something about it, talk to people everyday, and no people you know, god damn strangers, talk to fucking strangers. Walk down the fucking street and say hello to people, smile, make random conversation with someone you never met, you know why? Because you'll never see them again and who cares what they think. The only way to fix insecurity is to beat it out of your skull. Ask a random women out on a date, simply just to get turned down. That will help you realize that it just fucking happens, its life, there is always gonna be another woman to ask out. Once you realize that getting turn down over and over again isn't life ending you'll live better for it. Read a book about being personable or someshit. Its not hard to be a cool guy.
>>23838977
Working out is always a good thing, but you have to do it for you, don't work out to be some Chad McCoolBro to pick up women, that shit is fucking retarded. You need to work on your personality, I mean saying to yourself that you're a loser is a big indicator. Like I told the other anon, talk to random people everyday, introduce yourself, say hello, smile, ask out random women. You have to acquaint yourself with failure and find out what works best. But becoming personable is important, no one will like you regardless of what you look like if you cannot communicate, function, or even pretend like a normal person. Thats the single most important thing, just be chill, be nice, giving off the persona of someone who is warm and receptive is what brings people close. Try to be more positive in live, dont think, but do. You gotta just do shit, you have to be able to feel better for yourself man. Don't belive all of the weird society bullshit you hear on this fucking site. Seriously, you're a good height, as long as you're not horribly disfigured from war injuries, there will be women who find you attractive.
>>23839552
It is when you're fucking ugly.
>>23839598
Do you have ears where your eyeballs should be? No? Then you're doing pretty god damn good for yourself, its your attitude, change that shit and you'll be much better off. Don't play any of that Brandon bullshit.
>>23839673
I've been trying to improve myself for nearly two years noe, losing weight, got a job, got more social, not sperging anymore, started treatment for anxiety and depression, still things have nor changed. I'm trying like hell but in not sowing the benefits at all, I'm trying to be more confident and positive but I'm tired from constantly trying to be positive saying "ha doesn't hurt" when I'm dying inside from the lack of affection and good things happening. I just don't know, everything I touch turns to shit.
>>23839707
Look, I'm not saying that shit won't hurt, things are going to hurt, its going to hurt everyday. You have to learn how to mitigate how it all comes. How do you try to find people? I mean its probably best to try and find potential partners in similar circles you run in or like interests you know?
What are your interests? How do you usually meet people?
>>23839792
I don't meet much girls unless it's online. I'm just too oversensitive about shit and I fucking hate it. I let things affect me too much.
I mostly work and there aren't any girls with similar interest like mine. I love nature, I try to camp and hike in most of my free time, used to make music bit I stopped because of work and lack of money. I love astronomy and stargazing. I can meet people bit can't bond with them, I rarely meet people I can get along with. I'm just weird.
>>23839808
Meeting people online isn't a bad thing, its a good way for certain people to meet others. I'm assuming you have an okcupid and a Tinder?
Hating a part of yourself wont help man, you have to be able to accept the fact that you're oversensitive. But you have to find a healthy way to live with it.
You sound like you have pretty good interests too, I mean you don't seem like a bad person by any means, you just sound frustrated. What exactly do you want? What are you looking for? How are you trying to find people? In what manner do you put yourself out there?
>>23839854
Haven't had any uck with tinder and okcupid. I usually meet people from here or through my friends.
I just want someone I can share my life with I guess, a loving normal relationship where we do fun stuff together and support each other in hard times. I go to astronomy and weeb conventions actually act outgoing and confident but doesn't work. I mean I'm not that bad looking but I'm just too needy, trying to fix it but it gets hard once insecurity kicks in. Like you said I'm just frustrated man, I swear I'm trying but nothing goes my way.
Here is a picture for reference.
>>23839875
Dude, you're a pretty handsome man. I'm being honest, no exaggeration.
Have you thought about going to see someone for cognitive behavioral therapy? I mean it seems like you really just need to learn how to filter and absorb your emotions. Insecurity seems to be your biggest bane, being able to mitigate your feelings could really help with developing relationships with people.
>>23839918
Well it's a pretty flattering photo man don't know desu, here is a normal one.
I wanna try it but therapy is really expensive in my country, I can't afford it so I try to suppress it with meds. I usually got rejected by girls making fun of my appearance and insults so it fucked up my view of self for good.
>>23839978
Nahh, you're a good looking guy. Sometimes women can be cruel.
That makes sense, therapy can be pretty expensive. But if you ever get the chance, you should try it, it would definitely help out with your issues.
>>23840071
W-well if you say so.
