Well, /soc
good morning
yesterday my boyfriend of nearly 3 years cheated on me for the 9th time.
so let's just shoot the shit while I drink this vodka and wonder what's wrong with me
Inb4 why do you stay
high school sweethearts, I'm afraid of being alone, he was my first. he's the only stable thing I have right now.
My first girlfriend (2 1/2 years) was a cheater as well. Didn't find out about it unti lwaaay late in the relationship. I was afraid to leave as well, and it sucked horribly when I finally did, but I got over it quickly when I understood that I wasn't what she wanted anyway, so we were both wasting our time.
Lot of fish in the sea 9 times he won't change u have to find out what u want play the field never know might meet a great person the lots of us out there hi by the way
hey, I just finished drinking vodka too
You wanna talk about it?
>>23667254
Mine was cucumber flavored. Kinda eh, but gets the job done I guess.
>>23667240
We've gone on multiple "breaks", but I always break down and message him. It's a pathetic cycle.
>>23667242
Thank you, my dude. That's really cool of you.
>>23667256
I want to cry and get in his face. But at the same time, I'm so used to this that talking about it or crying seems pointless.
>>23667257
mine was straight. mixed it into some fruit punch because I fucking wanted something sweet.
>>23667266
More power to you, my friend
>>23667269
the hell does one get cucumber vodka anyway
>>23667237
>my boyfriend of nearly 3 years cheated on me for the 9th time.
Whahahahahahahaaaaaaaat?
>>23667273
It's some stuff my dad picked up. Probably from Walmart honestly
>>23667277
like, is there lettuce and tomato vodka with a shot of ranch tequila to go with it
Just b strong u get what u diserve it's all on u hope it works out for u good luck bye
>>23667285
Only in your dreams. Make them a reality
>>23667290
my dreams are altogether more terrifying than vegetables and bad salad topping alcohol.
so you gonna 'cheat' on him then or what
I mean shit dude am I really that awful
I've popped this man's zits, cleaned up his shit, stayed by his side when he had surgery. Always made sure he was well fed. Supported every fucking hobby he picked up. I even stayed faithful when he would leave the country for a month every god damn year. I've gone out of my way to make sure he got what we wanted for Christmas, his birthday, our anniversary, valentine's day despite the all of this bullshit and the times he's been a little too rough with me. The times he's looked me in the eye and called me fat, ugly, told me he doesn't love me.
I've had feelings for this man since I was in the sixth grade. All I want is to make him happy.
>>23667297
I don't have that in me, honestly.
I'm a good noodle
>>23667237
>he's the only stable thing I have right now
Apparently not if its the 9th time.
Why are you afraid of being alone?
>>23667300
>>23667301
sounds like you really do need to just break up. if he's said those things it likely was not just to hurt you.
infatuation can be strong.
>>23667302
Because he's been here every single day.
If he's gone, I'll just be a genuine NEET with only online friends.
>>23667306
Yeah I know, I'm just too much of a pussy I guess.
>>23667308
So then change yourself.
Sure its easier said than done, but if you dont want to be a NEET then you need to decide what you want out of life and go achieve it or at least try.
What you say you want right now "to make him happy", clearly is not happening and wont happen. It's a faux relationship.
As hard as this may be for you, it wont get any easier the longer you wait.
Once you overcome the challenges that you need to in order to move on, you will look back on this and wonder why it took you so long to stand up for yourself and self worth.
I have no sympathy for you, sorry. You wonder what's wrong with you. Well it's letting thus guy walk over you and your self-esteem. There's only one thing you can do and that's cut him from your life. If you don't do this then it's your fault.
>>23667314
find someone to help you be strong then. an 'online' friend can be support just as easily as someone to sit next to.
though finding someone you trust easily enough with that might be the hard part.
I came to this thread because FLCL. Kill him fuckin kill him
What would the gipper do?
>>23667318
You know what man, you're absolutely right. And it's been awhile since I've been this inspired.
>>23667323
Yeah its easier said than done at times. I've also got a fear of people thinking I'm just extremely annoying if I pile my problems onto them personally.
>>23667332
Good.
Now go write this shit down, so that even after the vodka is out your system, you still have a course of action.
Write that shit on your mirror if you have to and let is stare back at you every day.
Let is push you to become the person you need to be, to be your own and to worthy of anything you want in life.
That if you want something, your only obstacle is how badly you want it.
>>23667333
bouncing boards or rocks may not be hard to find, honestly. just finding the ones that don't make fun of you to other people is the trick.
it might be some booze speaking, but if you want to throw some bullshit at me, I can banter all day.
>>23667237
this will be super long, feel free to ignore it op. my sister's in the same boat, only she has two kids with the guy.
anyways, you say that he's the only stable thing you have right now but there is absolutely nothing stable about something like that.
people like your boyfriend will never stop doing what they're doing because you've put up with the behavior. he doesn't respect you, and you can't force a person to change how they think of you, especially now that he knows he can walk over you and do things to you and you'll forgive him. that's a major sign of abuse, and it seems like you might have a bit of codependency issues because of it. he has made you dependent on him when in reality he probably needs you more for something (emotional support, money, feeling of security and sense of normalcy, etc.)
everyone's going to be alone at some point, so i guess i'd say ask yourself if you see yourself suffering like this for the rest of your life with this guy, and if you can honestly die on your death bed and be content with your life up until that point.
this man might say he loves you but people don't do those things to people they actually love. he's manipulating and using you, anon, and there's no reason to keep putting up with it.
honestly, from what i've read, the both of you are holding each other back, it seems like he's hurting you and you're holding him back from being with other people despite the obvious obligation he seems to feel to be with you. he obviously doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore but is probably staying for your sake more than anything and might be trying to do things to get you to break it off yourself because he'd feel too guilty, as fucked up as that sounds. you can't force someone to love you, so honestly you need to let the guy go.
>>23667237
Grow a pair OP, been alone my entire life, it cannot be as bad as being with someone like that. And if he's the only stable thing in your life right now, I think you need to re-evaluate some things. God damn.
>>23667237
it ok op.
get better
love,
root
>>23667300
Yet he doesn't have feelings for you.
>>23667237
You can find someone new. High school sweethearts never works out. I'm older than you I bet. I'm 27. I'm excited thinking about all the fun you are going to have now that you are finally single though. :3 Yea trust me you are going to be SO HAPPY later you didn't get too serious with this guy who cheated 9 times.
>>23667300
Lol once you get into a better relationship and find out how things are ACTUALLY supposed to be and the treatment you deserve you are going to be so happy that you are not with this dude. Trust me. Breaking up with my high school boyfriend was the best life move I've ever made.
I mean I still got used and cheated on but that's why you leave because you are worth more.
>>23667349
>grow a pair
>been alone my entire life
Opinion disregarded
>>23667237
Good luck OP, I know this is hard, you
>>23667438
>Not OP
Opinion similarly disregarded.
>>23667237
I'll hit you up I have never cheated on a girl but I got a kid that has to be OK too.
>>23667237
I think you're confused about what the word stable means
>>23667237
My sympathies op. I was in a similar-ish situation, got cheated on a minimum of 3 times by my ex gf. Didn't know, then found out all at once.
I can tell you, for certain, you can move on, get better, and have a more stable situation. Shit takes time, everyone is different. You move forward when you can and when you're ready.
>>23667300
I kinda know how you feel.
I really like this girl. I really used to enjoy her company but now she just uses me. And that's painful for me to admit.
I've been cheated on before too. It's really rough but if you find something to focus on after you remove that from your life, it gets so much easier. I personally focused on magic and now I'm a magician at 22 years old.
It's definitely not worth it to stay with someone like that.
I never had one
>>23667300
I wish I knew someone that cared that much about me.
>>23667300
its because hes a fucking pimp and if he starts being a "supreme gentleman" you will start not liking him. you wont even know why its just how women work. be happy you have a guy that other girls actually want to fuck.
>>23667349
This, also same, I've never lived in the same place for more than 6 years since I was born for no real reason outside of preference; and because of this, I never really had any social roots, leaving me kind of isolated. I finally live somewhere nice though, and I have a few friends, so I don't plan to move anytime soon.
>>23667237
he cheated on you 9 times?
are you stupid?
you're supposed to break up with him
after the 1st time
-
if someone isn't loyal, you don't stay with them
>>23667273
everclear
cucumber
put it in a blender
get wasted
>>23667237
OP: it's clear you feel shit about him cheating, but it's been -9- times. he is not going to stop. you recognize this, but you've forgiven him so much already.
if you really, really think he's good otherwise, besides his habitual cheating, maybe you should consider an open relationship. on one hand, the way it started is completely shitty- but some people aren't happy in monogamy, and some people just don't give that much of a shit about getting cucked. maybe you're both under those categories, and while he was awful for making you find out the way he did, every relationship is unique and honestly you may be able to make the dynamic work. but it's going to take a -lot- of dialogue, mainly for your sake, to get it to work.
honestly, i agree with the comments that say to break up with him, but relationships can be weird and i figured that this perspective might also be useful for you. either way, if you want to be happy, it's going to take a lot of work on your end
>>23667237
