Am I the only one?
I'm a charismatic guy.
I've never done an interview and not got the job.
I've gotten every girl I've pursued but one, don't mistake this thread as being about that.
I've become leader by default in 1000 scenarios.
Everyone in every group of "friends" looks to me for everything from romantic advice to help fulfilling their dreams.
It's all bullshit. I'm a sham. I hate being social. I hate people. I just want to be alone. Why? Why is it that the second someone walks into my life I pull a fast 180 and become this smiling toolbag?
It's not even fake. It's natural. I make jokes, I take on leadership positions, I guide conversations, I shift opinions.
The second they're gone all I can do is wonder where the fuck that guy came from and why does he keep putting the weight of the fucking world on my shoulders.
I don't care about these people. I don't care about anyone, but I'm the one they call when their lives go to shit...
And I pick up that phone and he's back. Giving them advice for their life that in the long run seems pretty good. Where the fuck is that guy for my problems? What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't fucking know. I'm only posting this here because it's anonymous and socially related.
>>23646877
You sound depressed. You should see a psychologist.
>>23646890
I did once. She told me I was a sociopath.
>>23646908
And what did she suggest?
>>23646918
It basically boiled down to "Don't isolate yourself." In a lot more and more expensive words.
>>23646908
There you have it, anon.
Sociopaths don't all end up to be serial killers and the like, they can lead normal lives, although you will probably never be "normal". Maybe try to find a support group or something for sociopaths so you can meet people who relate to you? I'm sure they exist.
>>23646923
She sounds shit. Find another one and ask for treatment options.
>>23646877
You sound a lot like me, but just a bit more extreme.
I can excel at social interaction, but being alone is infinitely more pleasurable for me. I can never even be truly at rest if I'm technically in the same apartment/house as someone else.
The moment I'm alone though, I become much more at ease. Suddenly I can read, create, or do whatever other activity I'm interested without a care in the world.
Cooking up an interesting new recipe (or any other engaging endeavor) at three in the morning, completely and totally alone, is a divine experience
At the same time, I often put myself in social situations because I know that having a support circle is extremely valuable. Having people you can fall back on, and perhaps helping them out in return, is valuable to both parties.
A few years ago I did exhaustive testing with a physiologist over several 5 hour sessions. A week later, after some analysis, he reported that I place lightly on the autism spectrum (something no one else in my life has ever suggested or has seemed to pick up on).
I do not advocate self-diagnosis, nor do I feel that we are identical. That said, you could be like me. Or perhaps you are a sociopath like an earlier poster suggested. There are studies that suggest that all neurological conditions exist on various spectrums, maybe you just have a hint of enough spectrums to be be where you are now.
If you can live/function without hurting others, there is nothing wrong with you. Live your life.
>>23646877
I'm exactly the same way.
Let me ask you, do you ever feel like you're better than 98% of the human population? That they are all stepping stones you can step on to get where you want to go?
If you're like me, we do this "nice guy" stuff because we know we are secretly manipulating them into thinking we are perfect, beyond normal even. We become needed by them, desired and required.
But secretly we despise them all.
Sometimes I do like some of them, randomly and for brief periods of time only. It never lasts.
Also, I can only look up to and tolerate people whom I think are intellectually superior.
>>23646877
You're not a sham. What it is, is that you're good at reading and directing people's thoughts, and you know it. This talent comes with a price, though.
Since we have such an intuitive understanding of how humans work, they (we) become boring as time wears on. The answers to an individual's problems--who they are, what they want, and why they can't get it--blend together into a few simple truths as we solve them.
The maddening part is that we're good at something we don't necessarily care for. So we'll tend to use our ability to maximize our freedom and independence. Leave me alone. That's all we want. If you buy into the MBTI stuff, you're probably an INTJ.
>>23646877
>>23646877
I feel you bro, i always feel the same. Like I carry everyone through social interactions because they are fucking useless at it. I smile, listen, make jokes... But deep down I'm thinking that this is all just a waste and that were all playing a part in a play that we don't really want to be in. What I have learnt however is that being like that does not make you a sham. It simply means that, most likely, those who we look up to as being socially adept at probably feeling the same way. As in, its not that you are broken, but rather that the reference image that you are striving towards (this perfect human who actually gives a shit) simply doesn't exist. Good advice I heard was, if you can fake it then cyou can either continue doing so for the rest of your life OR, come to terms with the fact that you are probably simply good at that and make the most of it
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