what is the story of your sexual assault?
>>23556778
how did you feel during it?
how did you feel after it?
how do you about it now?
I guess it's not technically assault cus I conscented to some of it
but
>>23552756
>how did you feel during it
fucking scared and in mild shock
>how did you feel after it
a lot better but I felt used and abused
>how do you feel about it now
it certainly explains my fucked up life now, but it's kinda hot to think about also.
>>23556778
>what is the story of your sexual assault?My best friend's older brother was a drug dealer and got us into coke when I was 12, after a few weeks he said he wasn't gonna give it to me for free anymore but I didn't have any way of making money and I was pretty hooked on it. He told me he'd give me more if I "hung out" with his friend, being a stupid 12 year old I didn't realize what was going on and said yeah, his friend came over and took me into his bedroom and pushed me on the bed. Once he started taking my pants off I realized what was going on and started freaking out and tried to kick him off me, he punched me in the face a couple times and I blacked out, I woke up with him inside me and started crying and screaming. He told me to stop or he'd hit me again so I did, he finished and got off me. I put my clothes back on and walked out. My friend's brother tossed me a baggie and I snorted that shit immediately while they laughed and high fived. This continued pretty regularly for 2 years until my dad got a new job and we moved across the country and I had to quit cold turkey.
>>23556786
>how did you feel during it?
Over the course of 2 years I got pretty numb. I just wanted to be high all the time and I would just dissociate when I had to fuck his friends to get drugs. Everything felt like a blur around me.
>how did you feel after it?
Once I got clean I compartmentalized the whole thing and just stopped thinking about it and forced myself to pretend to be as normal as I could. I did a fairly good job of keeping the walls up for a very long time.
>how do you about it now?
It feels like a lifetime ago, like that wasn't even me it happened to. Remember it feels fuzzy and incomplete. I'm in therapy now and dealing with a lot of the fallout but the actual event isn't that painful to recall anymore, but realizing how much it affected where my life has gone since then has really fucked me up.
he was my boyfriend at the time. we started having sex but I suddenly felt really lightheaded and ill for some reason so I said stop and that I felt sick. instead he held me down and kept going, I tried pushing him off but just pinned me down harder. I yelled and started crying and he just told me to shut up until he was done
his friends figured it out but never said anything or sided with me. no one really did
My ex/first boyfriend was 22 and I was 16. I was only with him because I was insecure and I thought having a boyfriend would solve all my self esteem problems; he was only with me because I was a young virgin and easy to manipulate emotionally. I was too afraid to have sex because every time we tried it hurt so incredibly bad and we could never get it all the way in. One day he lost his patience with me and told me that if I didn't start putting out more he'd break up with me. I agreed to try again even though I didn't want to (I couldn't stand the thought of being dumped) and as always, it hurt and I asked him to stop before penetrating me all the way. He didn't stop, he told me I deserved it for being "such a little tease" and making him wait so long. He held me down and forced himself into me even as I cried hysterically in pain and humiliation. When he was done, he got angry at me for getting blood on the sheets. A week later he broke up with me anyway, and I never reported it even though it was statutory rape on top of sexual assault. I was too ashamed and embarrassed that I would ever let something like that happen to me.
How did I feel during it? Excruciating physical pain. Humiliation. Guilt for being a "bad girlfriend". I literally thought I deserved it.
How did I feel after it? Ashamed. Dirty. Violated. Corrupted.
How do I feel about it now? I still sometimes blame myself. Part of me believes that it was my fault, for being a "tease", for not being assertive enough, for being naive enough to date him in the first place. Luckily, I have a very loving boyfriend now who respects me and loves me unconditionally, but I still have trauma around sex from behind or any position in which I can't see my partner's face.
>>23556998
M or F? Either way that's pretty bad to be honest.
>>23556998
damn a child prostitute,that fucked up
>>23556778
I woke up. My brother was fucking my ass.
Was kept prisoner in a room for six months in foster care by eldest daughter of family. Used as a play thing and a toilet when she didn't want to go to the bathroom.
When I didn't listen to her she would choke me until I nearly passed out. Eventually just accepted my situation, looking forward to going to school just so I could get away from it for a while every day.
When picked up and transferred to a different home the case worker asked me if they did anything to me or the other kids. Was too scared to rat them out.
Fucked up thing is now I am into 90 percent of the stuff she did to me and have a psychologist girlfriend who's into mind break.
Life is a bitch.
>>23559587
m or f?
>be a guy
>be in college
>housemates go out to a bar, I'm exhausted so stay in to chill and sleep
>laying in bed, hear weird noises from our backyard through open window
>go out to check and it's a hammered drunk girl looking for her keys on the ground and yelling nonsense
>be good guy Greg, find her keys, walk her to her apartment building which is right next door
>she's stumbling, can't remember the code to get in the front door, let's go bitch I'm tired and this has taken 15 minutes already
>seeing her under the light she's actually pretty cute, blonde with a nice body.
>complete sorority whore that would never look twice at me
>finally get in the front door, walk to her apartment, she says "ok you can go now"
>don't say anything but follow her into the apartment
>she drunkenly tries to kiss me, breath reeks of booze and vomit, I push her away
>hands on her ass though
>she says "fine if I let you fuck me will you leave"
>before I can respond she turns around, takes off her shorts and bends over
>I pull her top off, grab her tits and finger her pussy and ass
>she's moaning like a whore
> grab her by the hair, pull her to her knees and make her suck me
>bend her over the couch and fuck her raw, try putting it in her ass but it's too tight without lube even though she says she's ok with it
>pull out and cum on her ass, zip up and walk away
>had a bunch of shit packed up in boxes so I think she was moving away, regardless never saw her again
>no regrets
>>23559910
Male with a fear of women.
Takes me forever to get into a relationship because of it.
Thought about just being gay a couple times as I am bi as well but I think most guys are ugly as sin.
Current GF is amazing though. Probably because she understands why i am so mentally fucked and knows how to approach it.
>>23556778
>be a 15 y/o me hanging out at buddies house while his parents are out of town
>he has an 18 y/o older sister and she brings all her friends over to get drunk
>him and I stay inside mostly playing music in the garage while his sister and friends are swimming drinking and sunbathing
>one girl I'll call M pops in and out of the garage every now and again to grab chasers
>night time comes and eventually we get tired of jamming so we decide to hit the jacuzzi
>his sister and all her friends are trashed at this point but M is the worst of them all
>sister offers us some rum and we all hang out and have a good time
>M keeps looking me up and down every time I get in and out
>says she's way too drunk and needs help in to the bedroom to lay down
>friends sister suggests I help out since M is a bigger girl and they are all super petite noodle armed
>I'm pretty trashed myself and sailor jerrys is a cold hearted bitch but I muster up my strength as she throws an arm over me
>we stumble towards the bedroom and as we walk in she drops her bikini bottoms off
>wasn't my first time seeing a girl naked so it was whatever to me
>this big ass bitch judo flips me over her hip somehow onto the floor and I'm just kinda laying there like what the fuck was that for
>puts her foot on my chest and says "this pussy ain't gonna eat itself"
>>23561459
>before I could comprehend what was going on she sits down on my face with my shoulders pinned by her knees
>I'm struggling and trying my hardest to squirm out but I just couldn't get my body out
>she's full on grinding herself from my forehead to my chin
>I stop struggling and kinda just lay there when she squeezes my dick and balls telling me that I better get to work or she's gonna crush my shit like grapes
>I stick my tongue out and just go crazy hoping I'll get her off and it will end
>between the ballbusting and getting friction burns on my tongue I get hard and get what is regrettably the most intense handjob I've had even after this being 9 years ago
>I cum buckets and she's crushing my testicles until she finally came
>she gets up and throws a towel on me tells me to clean myself up and get out of the room
>she also that if I ever told anybody that nobody would believe me that it went down like that and we just had some fun
>after some time I go back outside and act like nothing happened
>they all give me that look that says "ooo somebody got laid!"
>never say anything about it to anybody
>M and I end up hooking up almost daily over the course of a month without anybody being the wiser
I hated every second of it up until the point where she first made me cum. I now have serious face sitting, ballbusting, and femdom fetish although it has to be with a girl much smaller than me. I think that part stems from the fact I don't want to be truly helpless but would rather give myself up to it
>>23561474
So a fat girl punched you in the balls and now you're a faggot.
>>23561333
how are you bi then?
>Be a girl
>14 and attending a small catholic school for my whole life
>No friends except family
>21 year old cousin, let's call him Jake, is my best friend
>Same music tastes, sense of humor, etc.
>I tell him everything
>One day I meet a guy, lose my virginity
>Scared to tell anyone else except Jake
>Tell him
>He starts calling me a slut and a whore
>That's when he threw me onto his bed
>Holds one hand over my mouth
>Uses the other hand to take off mine and his clothes
>I try to move but he threatens me
>I shut up and just lay there
>He starts having sex with me and finishes up
>He gets off of me, goes back to his computer, we go on acting like it never happend
I've never told anyone to this day. I know he's always had a thing for me. I think that's why it happened, I think he was jealous. I just try and forget
how did you feel during it?
>Completely shocked and confused
how did you feel after it?
>Numb. I didn't know how to feel.
how do you about it now?
>Nothing. I try not to think about it.
I was 14. Freshman. Never kissed a boy. Somehow met a 19 year old (already graduated) - total loser, had a job but no future plans, everyone hated him in high school but I was too young to hear the rumors. Parents try multiple times to split us up but I rebelled.
Starts telling me that we should have sex cuz it's what girlfriends do for their boyfriends, that he'll leave for someone who's less trouble, etc. I finally gave in. Sex itself was fine but I was WAY too young and it definitrly screwed with me emotionally.
He dumped me anyway but then still wanted to meet for hookups. I was desperate for attention so I agreed. I'd sneak out at night and we'd fuck in his car around town. Cheated on his girlfriends with me. Looking back it's because I was easy tight pussy no one else had touched.
Took me a while to get over it. I already had depression so that didn't help. I was angry all the time and could barely function within a normal relationship. I'm 22 and feeling okay, but looking back it makes my stomach hurt and I want to punch him in the face.
>>23561720
stop being a beta faggot anon
>>23556778
>how did you feel during it?
numb, physically it all hurt a little but emotionally numb. Very confused. I wasnt sure if i was saying "no" or "stop" loud enough, or if i just wasnt pushing him off hard enough. I just felt super sad and alone (long story), and it was cold out and my entire body felt cold i was shaking so much. i just felt bursts of pain, confusion, pressure (from his body on mine).
>how did you feel after it?
Uncomfortable to say the least. I had his jacket on cause he put it on mid way through when i was freezing and he asked for it back after and took it off me almost avoiding my body as if it was something to be disgusted by. I sat there and waited for my dad who has been calling me for the past half hour to pick me up. I got in the car, luckily my parents and I never talked much so i didnt have to force too much conversation. I went home took my underwear off because he was all over them... and just laid in bed for almost half an hour then started crying.
>how do you about it now?
I repress it usually so its fine. But the thought of anyone losing their virginity, or being used, or having sex too young bothers me. Uhm the next 2 years following that I had a lot of bad childhood memories came back :/ also i have experienced abuse(sexual) multiple times afterwards.
>>23564403
how old was you when it happen may i ask?
>>23556778
When I was 8 my parents decided having a live in nanny would be a good idea. It wasn't bad. The chick was 17, nice and shapely, though at 8 I didn't look at that. She had been with us for about a month when we had a thunder storm. In South Texas they were rare and heavy. I, being an 8 year old, got scared and asked if I could sleep in her bed. She said "sure, but you have to keep close." Shortly after she started touching me. I didn't really understand what was going on, I was sheltered as fuck, but I liked it. To shorten it up, she pretty much got me ready and had me fuck her. She quit and went back to Mexico 2 weeks later.
How did I feel during?
Confused.
After?
I forgot about the whole thing until about a year ago.
Now?
It kinda bums me out that I was raped, because it kinda was... it makes me mad that my parents don't even remember the chick who did it.
how did you feel during it?
>>I was 10 when it started, I didn't really understand what was going on, sometimes it felt good, sometimes it hurt. As I got older I started to understand more and more what was happening and that it wasn't normal. It still felt good sometimes, still hurt sometimes. Sometimes I felt nothing at all, like mentally I wasn't there
how did you feel after it?
>>Mostly just confused, really confused. I didn't understand the dynamic I was supposed to have with my stepfather. So from 10 until I was 17 I was just really sexually confused and angry
how do you about it now?
>>I have gone through a lot of the motions of dealing with it and am fairly well adjusted now. It did leave me with some strange sexual attractions I usually try and avoid. I have nightmares pretty regularly and some issues with panic attacks but work hard to understand the source and how to heal.
>>23561720
Fuck you
I'll bite!
>When
6-8 years old, abuse happening for months at a time in 2-5 day bursts, depending on how much time he had with me.
>Who
Babysitter/leader at local boyscouts. Trusted family friend.
>Where
Sometimes in my house, but mostly at an old abandoned campsite I'd be taken to once in a while for a few days at a time, where I was chained up inside the abandoned shower/toilet building there.
>What
-Minor sexual assualt like groping, fingering, making me do the same shit to him
-Major sexual assault like fucking, forced oral, etc
-Two cases of blade violence, one which rendered me unable to walk for a couple weeks
-Very often use of a whip fashioned from an old belt and scraps of barbed wire
-Very often use of fire, mostly used to scare me more than burn me
-Choking
-Submerging in water for elongated periods of time
-Starving
-Beatings
>Did they get away with it
Yes! Mostly. The story was that I went camping with him and some of the other older scouts because I was a "family friend" and so boys being boys means I get a few cuts and bruises while I'm out.
Then when it got bad he threatened to do the same to my sister if I told and thus my stupid ass stayed quiet.
>Where is he now
Jail. I was his first and worst victim, he moved to england and became a policeman and got done for trying to fiddle kids over there too.
>How did you feel during
Sore and fuggin scared, man.
>How did you feel better about it
Schoolyard trick of knocking yourself out by holding your breath so that I could "sleep" more and pass time quicker.
>How do you feel now
Eh. Body covered in gross scars BUT I have minor acne on chest and back so I can bluff that they're all from that. Pretty incapable of sexual stuff, though. Managed to kiss people and almost go further but any time I ask to stop I'm usually seen as being fucking weird because I don't want to tell a hook-up some sad story about muh abuse.
>"But anon, someone will understand!!"
Nah, man.
>be drunk
>want dick
>wake up sober
>regret taking dick
>decide I didnt really want dick
When I was 14 I went to Florida with my aunt and uncle and my cousin who was 19 at the time took me with her to meet her long distance boyfriend and his brother and sister to hang out a bit.
I got separated from them she ditched me to fuck him in his car and his brother who was 16 or 17 left with his sister to go to the movies.
I was sitting alone on a bench and it wasn't really that dark anything but a dude came up to me and started asking me questions and I was like "oh I don't know where anything is I'm just visiting here" and then he pulled out a knife and forced me to walk like 40 feet with him to a stair well.
He started punching me and trying to go through my pockets but I didn't have any money so he threw me down and raped me.
>>23567263
>>23567260
That's awful, dude. I hope things get better for you.
My ex was sexually abusive, although some of it wasn't entirely his fault.
The first time was just after we moved in together. We had both been drinking that night to celebrate our new apartment, and then gone to bed. I woke up thinking I was having a wet dream, because I was having an orgasm, but I found him with his fingers inside of me. He was totally asleep and sleep walking. I tried to push his hands away, but he held me down and raped me.
I don't even know how I felt, I was still half asleep. I was screaming at him and trying to wake him up, but nothing worked. He eventually finished, and lay down beside me and then my screaming woke him up. He had no idea what was going on until I told him.
It would happen every couple of weeks after that, and I tried to continue to have a regular sex life with him, but it got to the point where even sleeping apart didn't prevent it, and we would argue about sex all the time. I wouldn't want to because of the assaults, he would tell me that if I didn't an assault would be more likely.
Now, I can't really sleep next to anyone comfortably, I have nightmares if I'm not alone. I haven't had sex since, either. I should have really left sooner, or asked him to get some sort of treatment, but I loved him. A lot of the time I feel stupid about it, and I probably was stupid about it.
I don't know. What do you do when the person you love is hurting you, but it's not their fault?
My dad is a convicted paedophile... It was between the ages of 3/4 to (almost) 7
>how did you feel during it?
I was a kid with no concept of sexual abuse, sucking my dads dick was like sucking a lolly
>how did you feel after it?
I don't remember
>how do you about it now?
I'm going to fucking murder everybody
(tfw no mixed personality disorder daddy issue gf)
>>23556778
Dad raped me
Ever since im too scared to go outside and spend my life photoshopping people
>>23560755
how is this sexual assault?
>>23572884
stop it Max
>>23572971
>>23572884
Who ever is doing this i love you
>>23572278
>sleep raping
>screaming and struggling doesn't wake him up
Surely you aren't that fucking gullible... come on now
>>23573080
It's a form of parasomnia. He was completely asleep, and I couldn't wake him up. He would also sleep walk, and I would find him outside or in random places, I would never be able to wake him up when I caught him sleep walking. If it was an act, it was a damn good one.
