>Check Catalog
>No OKC thread
>Mytimetoshine.jpg
Post profiles, talk about your general experience with OKC.
okcupid.com/profile/mark_davis_
Overall okay experience, but hard to meet someone in Orange County with the same values as I. When I used OKC in Portland, Oregon I had many awesome matches (I love to be outdoors), but down here in Orange County everyone just seems to want to party / club /drink every weekend. Still staying positive though! I know my profile has a lot but I've found the ones that can handle all that reading tend to be the ones I'm looking for anyway.
Post away!
>>23448739
For the record, I did meet someone in Portland, Oregon, who was amazing but had to move back to Orange County for family health issues. Girlfriend ended up being too homesick and we ended things.
>>23448739
I've run several profiles for men (for pay) and OkC is the best place to set up dates if you're not a super hot dude.
But chicks get inundated with messages.. you have to be specific to stand out. And you have to ask for the date within 48 hours or they're moving on.
Godspeed.
>>23448805
how many women have you fucked from cupid, anon?
>>23448848
I'm a chick; don't need it.
My clients normally get three to four successful "dates" before they start managing their profiles alone.
>>23448739
Don't wanna post my profile.
Question: I am from MD, and almost everyone in the area is so different then me things wont work out. People with any similar interests/high match % I have messaged but they never reply.
I had ONE Mutual match. We started talking, she deleted her profile and convinced me she was interested, but then 360'd and blocked me on Skype and made a new OKC that I can clearly see...
Either way I am having no luck. At all. I'm not even going for pretty girls. In fact I've only messaged ugly ones because I am afraid my mental disability puts me on a much lower level. And most girls in my area are very entitled.
Anything I can do? Should I delete my OKC and redo the questions so my matches change? Or am I fucked because of my area + disability?
>>23448907
>anything i can do?
im going to assume you're just ugly, anon. devote two years to working out and bulking up. that should offset things
>>23448907
I've discovered that the simple fact that you're online makes people 100x more "picky", for lack of a better word.
If I meet someone while hiking, it's easy to become friends, start planting the seed for future relationships or ask her out on a date. I think they're awesome, they think I'm awesome, you get the picture.
That same person, if she would have seen my profile on OKC first, I guarantee would have probably skipped over mine in search for someone taller/hotter/wealthier.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/xX_d20rollit_Xx?cf=profile
Take a shot at it, /soc/. Mostly get likes from fat women. The only hot women I get are too far away from me. No traps or cute boys in my area either. Also, everyone has really shit-tier taste in things. I can't imagine spending 5 minutes with them.
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/xX_d20rollit_Xx?cf=profile
>>23448931
I'm not ugly, I'm not amazing either. Its just I dont know what to say in the first message. I'm very shy and its very hard to think of something other then "Hi how are you?" I cant talk about interests because very few people have my interests in this area.
>>23448962
Great to know that height is another factor that is going to cripple me. At this point I feel like there is no way to win.
>>23448969
it's a dog eat dog world out there anon
>>23449019
So basically I am fucked and there is nothing I can do?
>>23449033
i/we would really have to see your profile to give you tips on what to change
>>23448805
I signed up yesterday answered somewhere around 120 questions and I only get feminists as matches.
Also I'm terrible at filling my profile, any tips or how to start messaging someone ?
thanks
Anyone else rarely have above 80% match rating with others in your area? There's a few girls near me who have high match ratings but aside from one they're all really overweight (I'm talking obesity not just chub) and I'm not trying to be shallow but c'mon I want someone who I think is attractive, which isn't hard my standards seem to be lower than my friends' standards. The one who I thought was attractive stopped messaging me back after a few days. Is it normal or am I just weirder than the normal person in my area?
>>23449162
Signed up yesterday
I have 15 girls above 90% and one at 96% but idk how to start the conversation when they specify that they won't answer to heys how are you etc
>>23449173
I always try to go off of something in their bio. Ex if they like blink-182, mention you like it too and something about it you like (if you like it too obv). I noticed some girls have a "give me your best/dorkiest/silliest etc pick up line so I'll do that. If I feel like I can't do any of that I take the easy way out and say something generic like "howdy you seem really rad and interesting." I get messages back about 1/3 of the time but I read that's about average and given that I'm average looking I feel like I'm where I should be in getting responses. But eventually my social ineptitude rears it's ugly head and I lose control of the convo.
Met a couple nice people but mostly just perverts.
okcupid.com/profile/jadetala
>>23449222
I look weird but some people apparently find me attractive so I guess it's ok I'm just a social shitter and never had any relationship
>>23449255
You and me both my friend. You and me both
>>23449264
Like these are my top 3 matches and the 96% is really cute and stuff but idk how to start a convo it makes me feel retarded and considering deleting my acc already
>>23449300
Just check her bio for ANY interests she has, either in common with you/you are also interested in/know a lot about, and just message her about that topic, maybe add a witty line (but be careful it can't be taken the wrong way, you don't want to sound creepy or weird, also nothing sexual)
Don't mention looks, compliment them on their personality and interests.
>>23448739
can you get pussy on ok cupid pretty quick or is it still better to use other apps. looking for something fresh
>>23449443
Um.. I mean I probably could find someone to hook up with pretty easily if I wanted to, I'm not completely unattractive and I bring a lot to the table, but that's not what I'm looking for. I'm in the market for something long term.
I hear tinder is pretty good for that though.
How long after a 3 year relationship should I make a profile?
>>23449887
Whenever you feel like you've moved on.
So... the next weekend?
Im not gonna lie i joined okcupid for just fun.
But i have found a fucking dinamite girl after being on there just a month. Have met her twice....kisses like an angel and is a total nerd liek me...onky shes fucking hot.
All i can say is your first message wull be the deciding factor in this..a simple hi how r u will just not cut it these days. READ the fucking profile and message something witty make sure you have things IN COMMON.
Drooling over cute faces and instinctively hittibg send a message will get you nowhere.
bump.
anyone here knows how to start messaging people without having to say "hi "hey how are you" or classic shit like that ?
>>23448805
do mine. how much?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/teleriprincess
okc hasn't been as successful for me as tinder, but i did meet a couple cuties on it. one of which i'm going to be seeing in a couple of weeks (lives in a different city). mostly i get really exasperated and depressed at the things guys will say to you and then delete it until i get bored again.
>>23448962
this is pretty true of online dating in general, it's the illusion of supply. i just read an article about it (tho it was focused on tinder). it was pretty depressing.
>>23449443
try tinder
and to those who don't know how to have a conversation with someone...work on your social skills before trying to date. nobody will want to date you if you can't even figure out how to start a conversation or keep it going. that's the biggest reason i pass guys who message me online. no one wants to spend 30 minutes or more filling out their profile only for someone to send them "hey" and expect a response.
>>23454295
Geez, after reading your profile I have to say that you're a total faggot
>>23454561
and you sound so charming and fun to be around
>>23454656
And you're the representation of everything that is wrong with this generation.
>>23454694
that really hurts :'(
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/_Gaston_
Advice or critique please? I used to do so well when I lived in California and Florida, but I'm just getting no luck here in Arizona.
>>23454699
(OP of thread here)
Naw, to me you just sound like a normal Seattle or Portland person. It does come off a bit weird when written down, but since I lived in Portland for so long I know in real life you'd blend in with the rest of the crowd. Whether or not that's an insult is up to you.
Personally i would just delete the "you should not message me if" part. It's a bit off-putting, even though it is just common sense stuff. Those type of people are easily identifiable anyway and easy to avoid.
It's like the people that write "Don't message me if you don't know the difference between you/your/you're". The ones that don't wouldn't bother reading that far down anyway and the ones that do will just think you're petty.
>>23454865
>http://www.okcupid.com/profile/_Gaston_
Your profile read pretty well, but it seems like you're just looking for casual sex / flings. Tinder might be a better option for you.
Your pictures are... unusual. But hey, if they've worked for you in the past, more power to ya.
People in Arizona might just be more conservative. I used to match with so many people in Portland, Oregon, but here in California I get zip. Probably because I still am searching for the same standard of woman I found in Portland. Maybe you and I both need to expand our horizons as to what we are looking for.
>>23454922
i know it seems like it doesn't matter, but it actually does seem to reduce the proportion of disgusting messages i get when i have that in there. even though, as you said, it should be common sense....thanks for the input, tho!
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/ithacation
Judge, rate, copy idc since it worked and I've found a really sweet girl :)
>>23454997
If you've met someone, I suggest deleting or at least disabling your OKC. I would hate that scenario myself:
>Meet girl on OKC
>Perfection
>3 weeks so far of bliss
>(insert random event that leads me to go to her old OKC page)
>*Last login: Today*
>heartsink.jpg
Just my two cents, everyone feels differently about this issue.
okcupid.com/profile/detectivebutler
I have no idea how to not be awkward. I don't get that many visitors. When I do, they are rarely above 70% match. People who match well with me rarely message back (I'm sending messages in response to their profiles so it shows I actually read it instead of scrolling through their pictures like a sexist piece of shit). I'm starting to think my in-person awkwardness is seeping into my online awkwardness.
>>23455049
Happen to me actually. Terrible feeling. Think the date went well, then they get dodgy then you check their page, last login was today. Same with long messages being sent back and forth and then one day they start to ignore the shit out of you.
>>23455049
I mean I'm friends with her on FB, Skype, and I've got her number, and we're very into each other so I'm not worried :) Good advice though
>>23455062
I would keep the first four pictures, then delete the rest. It's just basically the same type of photograph over and over.
Other than that, I just say embrace who you are. You'll notice that it's easier to talk to certain groups of people, so gravitate towards that crowd.
Me, for example. Smooth talker on the hiking trails, leading group hikes, people get excited when they see me. 10/10 awesome guy to be with.
Now, put me in a bar with a drink in my hand, and I'm a deer in the headlights. I'm the guy in the corner trying not to turn red because he feels uncomfortable. My voice isn't very loud so I basically can't talk at all in a loud bar or club. 0/10 let's not invite Mark next time.
It all depends on the scenarios you put yourself in.
Man, how the hell do you guys actually secure dates in this place. I got 4 dates set up before I had disabled mine, but every single one flaked (which is why I had disabled it till I had moved).
And this is irrelevant but now that I've moved I tried again and no one on there has more than a 50%. Welp.
>>23455120
Okay, I see what you mean about the photos. They are a bit repetitive. Deleted. Now the certain groups of people thing, I totally understand that. In person, I can easily pick out people who are just as awkward as I am and I normally feel comfortable enough to talk with them. However, with online interactions, it's hard to gravitate towards that crowd. The worst part is, I can't even tell where my mistakes are.
>>23448739
heres me, its actually been going really well on okc
met lots of great girls
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/GoldLiquidatiLLC
surprised at how well its been going so well
ill just leave this here
okcupid.com/profile/Kyse22
>>23454953
I've used Tinder a lot in the past, but I like OKCupid a lot because I get to express myself through prose.
I can't use Tinder now though because my phone broke, and the one I replaced it with is really old and can't run most apps unfortunately.
And yeah, that's what I've been realizing about this area. The town I moved to is pretty much ran by the Mormon church.
I'd try and expand my horizons, but I'm usually into a specific type of girl. The eccentric artsy Tumblr esque ones. Just not too many like that around these parts it seems.
>>23455170
i was really surprised to see you were a scorpio after reading your profile...definitely expected an air sign with earth attunement
i don't think your profile is gonna pull in dates necessarily, but i think it tells a lot more about you than you probably think and it will appeal to a similar person. you're attractive enough to get people to view it on the first place so i think your okay. i would delete some of the photos and just list whatever is pulled up on your last.fm since people are lazy
>>23455304
**you're
thnx phone
>>23455304
>i was really surprised to see you were a scorpio
Most of my friends are fire signs. That probably has a lot to do with it. While I'm around them, I get super comfortable. I try to type on the internet like I am around them. It is oddly relaxing.
I replaced a bunch of the similar pictures with other pictures that weren't so similar and and decided to add pictures with my aforementioned friends because, hey look, I also exist offline.
>People are lazy
But...yeah, you're right. This is the only reason why my last.fm link is there. Laziness.
Thanks for the confidence shot though, friend-o!
22/F (but I'm fat so sorry)
took OKC a little less seriously this time around but managed to take myself too seriously just like every other girl, what else is new. my profile was just kind of light and relaxed but i still ignore "hey whats up" messages
anyway, about a week or two ago this guy messages me and i decide to read it because its a couple of paragraphs long, even though his main pic is a group picture. seems pretty nice, mentions quite a few things from my profile so i know he read it. his pictures, upon further investigation, are pretty alright so i respond.
he's enthusiastic and we get along, i give him my number. we text literally all day every day nonstop since then. I'm really liking him and he seems to feel the same
i come over to his house for our "first date" which was netflix and chill. it was my idea and he knew we weren't fucking because i was on my period. at this point it felt like we were kinda already past "first date" emotionally and sort of just agreed we wanted to make out and talk and shit without the weird pressure of a "real" date
it was probably the best time with a guy ive had in a long time, i spent a few hours there and he drove me home because you know blood. he was a good kisser, he seemed to be totally attracted to me and we just vibed really well
now I'm fucking tanking it, i feel a huge pressure to be interesting and keep him into me and i feel like ive run out of shit to say. it kind of feels like the burden of conversation is on me and I'm suddenly starting to feel freaked out that this might be one of those fuckboys that, well, fucks and then ghosts
>tfw really like guy on all levels
>he seems to reciprocate
>autism strikes and you somehow self-sabotage
i wish i was a normie
>>23455287
To me, if I were a girl that didn't play magic, I wouldn't respond to your messages because when I check your profile, it seems like we have nothing to talk about. Think of it like acting - except the character your playing is yourself. What would you say to an actual person if they asked you the things OKC asks you while filling up your profile? That's my only bit of advice I conjure. But it's cool you play magic.
>>23455412
Have you tried asking him what he thinks about you guys? Because at a certain point it seems like you're assuming a lot.
>>23455440
he's told me multiple times he "thinks we can get serious" and he "wants to keep me forever." i met his parents who were visiting at the time. constantly says stuff like hes never been with a girl where everything feels so natural, shit like that
>>23455468
Better question, who initiates the texting on the daily basis? If it is split, can you estimate percentages?
>>23455476
usually he wakes up first so he hits me with a good morning and i text him when i wake up after that, always a goodnight from whoever is going to bed first as well. id say like 6/7 days of the week he initiates but after that i feel like its on me to sort of keep him interested if that makes sense
>>23455487
You don't need to "keep him interested." The dude is clearly smitten by you. The voice in your head repeating "don't fuck up," is just working overtime. The point where you're trying to impress him has pass. To me it seems like you have nothing to worry about unless you're fucking his friends. Just be yourself at this point and get comfortable. If he's reasonable he's going to know some days you have tons to say and others you will have very little because human interaction varies.
>>23455508
i guess it just feels like theres this pressure to constantly keep the pace and talk all the time because thats what we've been doing and its stressing me the fuck out
>>23448805
I met a hell of a lot of partners through OKC. I am trying to think if I *EVER* met anyone within 48 hours. Maybe one or two people; but the vast majority was FAR longer than that.
Maybe that's what its like in your area, but it's sure as hell not a rule of thumb.
Though question: How the fuck did you get into managing OKC profiles? That's a strange line of work.
>>23448907
You can just reset your questions. What do your conversations/messages to people like like?
>>23448962
When you're hiking and you bump into someone, you bump into someone. if we used OKC as a metaphor, it would be like an entire marathon of hikers suddenly slammed into them and never fucking slowed down.
>>23449065
120 questions is pretty small number of questions answered from what I saw.
>>23449162
Highest match I've had so far is two 99%'s, I didn't tend to message below 80% match. There's a lot of people in that above range. Are you in a rural area or something?
>>23449443
I hooked up with a lot of people through OKC, but I am fairly selective of my partners. At least here, Tinder has a more "immediate gratification" reputation for hookups. OKC tends to be more chatting up folk.
>>23451011
A bunch of people have already said in here: Read their profile. You want a message that is engaging, and ideally showcases your personality. Look for things that you do legitimately find interesting on their profile, or for things you're curious about, or for mutual interests. I honestly end up talking about food, local restaurants, and shows a lot, but that's just me because those are my interests.
>>23455152
Talked with people a lot, found people I actually found interesting and engaging, and then one of us would recommend meeting up. This was either to stem the ever growing length of messages, or just because one of us were bored, or something interesting was happening in town. I don't think I've ever had someone actually no show or flake.
>>23448739
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/lemonworld0
How's mine? Too long?
>>23455822
you ramble too much. delete the whole first paragraph and reduce the second to a s u m m a r y of your interests to start
>>23455822
>>23455863
ex:
summary:
Music is my thing. I also love to cook, and I'm especially good at making pasta. I read a lot as well. I also really like beer, will try just about anything.
what i'm doing:
I work as a care-taker, and I'm trying to get in shape.
good at:
((idk about this one, you can keep cooking but i would get rid of the rest and add some real stuff unless you can get away with being funny))
the rest is fine but you could probably do better in the "message me" section.
>>23455648
> feels like theres this pressure to constantly keep the pace and talk all the
Then tell him but seat your words more carefully. You don't want him to think you don't want him around.
>>23455822
Your self summary could be your whole profile. Try putting everything in its proper places.
Also, you like metal,you just have found the right subgenre yet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNLdTfwx5ZQ
>>23456805
>>23455822
Also, another thing I forgot, don't tell people what you're not looking for, not going to do, and don't like etc. It feels exclusive and there feels like there's no room for growth. It's why we say "Grow old together," and not, "Exist in the same living space together." It's good to know who you are but you need to let others know you're open to try new things. Shortening your profile can be as damaging as having one too long. Short but flavorful paragraphs.
>>23456805
I have spent several hours of my life trying to find some kind of metal I like in all kinds of sub-genres. I really have made an effort. The shit that I came the closest to liking was early doom metal like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3uvf0cn0jo
and also I like SOME motorhead but they have such a huge discography I don't really know where to start. Metal just doesn't appeal to me I guess which is really confusing to me.
>>23457026
>early doom
Doom's sugenres are what you will love
Try some stoner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIw7oeZKpZc
And some groove: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEsmxJvgcjU
>>23448739
Long time OKC user here. Ive met around 5 girls from here in my spare time, ended up dating one for a few years and getting in a quicky on the rest, some a few times. I even still talk to 2-3 girls from there who still want to go out at some point. Ive had pretty positive experiences with it. The problem is, is that people expect to make a great bio or something and be able to nail any girl. Its the same is irl, if a girl isnt into your looks or personality right off the bat, its not gonna work. It all depends on the girl you are trying to get, and if you are just aiming for quickies or a long time thing. The top thing is though is that you definitely have to be unique. Girls get wayyyy too many messages in a day. So you are fighting a slew of guys just for some notice.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/SleepyDistortion/
There's not many people where I live using this site and any matches I get are miles away.
Also how do you even meet up with girls?
How many days of messaging before you say wanna meet up for coffee?
>>23458387
>Also how do you even meet up with girls?
You travel to a mutually agreed upon location. I've had long distance matches and I typically just meet them in a middle ground that is also extremely public.
>How many days of messaging before you say wanna meet up for coffee?
Since you're looking for a woman, you're pretty much waiting for her to make sure you're not going to kill and rape her. It sounds silly to you but it is for good measure.
My suggestion would be to go find some one at a WWE event. Since you don't find matches in your area.
>>23459355
Damn. I'm from the UK, they rarely come here but could potentially start looking at local indie promotions.
>>23448739
I've basically had nothing go anywhere. I've had people like my page, I've tried messaging people.
People have messaged me, albeit when a girl messages it is always just "hey"
But, the conversation always dies before it ever starts, especially when people give me nothing to go on like I have to force the conversation to be anything more than robotic.
I tried to keep my profile pretty brief and it probably sucks.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/kca196
There are barely any girl within 50 mi on OKC for me aswell.
>>23460457
>http://www.okcupid.com/profile/kca196
Okay,I'm drunk and giving advice at this point. If I am inoherent, my mistake. Okay likeso, syou have no personality in your profile. You said yu lift ant you profile says nothing else so I can only conclude you are a meathead. Don1/t be a ,meathead. OKC girl hate meatheads. Have substance. Bitches love substamce.Add yourself, or just spam inboxes with your personality. Bottom line SHOW PERSONLIT.
Even though I'm an Asian girl on OKCupid and therefore not as popular as a white girl, I've been having a really good time. I get a lot of requests for dates so I have to manage them with a calendar. I feel like the dentist and give people appointments 2 weeks in advance because my schedule is so filled up with dates. 80% of my messages are high quality too, detailed and reference something in my profile. Only 20% are mass messages sent out to every woman in a 50 mile radius.
My stats are
> Asian
> thin, pretty
> athletic: I do gymnastics, yoga, and weightlifting, <3 /fit
> musical: I play the violin
> modern/career: I am a programmer and eat American foods
> traditional: I sew and eat traditional Asian foods
> cultured: I read classic books
The best advice I can give to men is to be really fit and have a great body. No, it's not good enough to have an "average" (read: fat) body. If you get down to a low body fat and have lots of muscle, most men become reasonably attractive and you'll be very popular with the ladies
>>23461048
I don't know if lifting makes me a meathead. It's just something I do on a regular basis to keep healthy... If that's a problem for a girl then idk what to say.
I have put more into the profile before, but nobody reads that shit. I read girls profiles but it doesn't matter really. I just keep it all short so that people might give it a chance to read.
To be fair as well I've tried "putting personality" into messages as well. It doesn't work. Nobody wants to read the thing you thought of that takes 2 sentences. Which is a little bit painful.
The best way to do OKC is berevity and attractiveness and then just say "hey what's up"
Girls won't try any harder than that and neither should you.
>>23462388
I should note I don't message with hey what's up, but it feels like nobody really cares to hear more than that
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/naspas
I don't really post on /soc/ ever, and I almost never use OKC, but meeting new people is always fun, so here we go I guess.
>I only like and message matches 80% or above
>I'm being original, no one-liners or anything and I actually read their profile before I do anything else
>almost never get a reply, if i do it's 2 messages max and they start ignoring me
I hate this life and I want to die.
