Stop holding it in!
Get it off your chest!
I keep fantasizing about beating the shit out of people and I'm starting to scare myself. bonus points for beating a guy until he's bloody and begging for me to stop in front of a crowd
it's not even a sexual thing, but I feel like a sadist
I love you.
I love you, I love you, I fucking love you!
I love you so much its making me crazy.
I want to tell you sooo bad but I just think its something that should be said in person.
Anyway,
I love you.
>>23407523
Just random people or people that piss you off?
>>23407546
people who throw their weight around, act like hot shit when they're not, etc. most common is a guy who sexually harassed me two years ago, but usually the situations are more thought up in my head than anything
what makes it most scary for me is that I actually can. I've done kickboxing and BJJ for so long that if I got angry enough I could seriously fuck someone up. I have been arrested before for getting in a fight in highschool, the kid went to the hospital
>>23407523
Hotttt
Whenever something goes wrong socially, I have a fantasy in which I kill myself right after and imagine the person who wronged me's reaction.
For example: Eddy makes fun of me publically. Yeah well Eddy how would you like this on your subconcious? People are gonna hate you cuz you made a person kill himself.
Before I did it once or twice a week, but now I do it constantly regularly and it's kinda scaring me.
I've never had a crush on anyone or fallen in love. Fuck buddy relationships are 4000% more comfy than actual relationships.
I also don't understand the raging desire that so many other people have to be in a relationship. People are genuinely depressed when single and it confuses the hell out of me.
My gf likes to be eaten out from behind, but doesn't like butthole stuff.
She gives herself bikini waxes, so her asshole is always in pristine condition. Hairless, clean, petite.
Every time I eat her out, I have a strong urge to eat her ass like it's groceries.
The small possibility of her not stopping me are too slim to attempt it. Sometimes I'll do a full lick from her clit all the way up past her asshole, and she loves it, but I can't build up the audacity to go all in on her ass. It's not worth the awkward moment that could ensue.
Regardless, her pussy is perfect and eating her out is ecstasy. But damn, I want to lick her asshole.
>>23407659
I was actually in this same position for a long time. I loved being single. But now I'm totally smitten. I'm kind of disappointed in myself, but I'm like head over heels and that's really exciting so oh well.
>>23407578
That is pretty sexy. I mean, I don't recommend just beating up someone. But maybe you should hang out at a bar and wait for some creep to go too far and sweep in and kick his ass. Then you could live out the fantasy and more than likely get laid.
i'm not going to try anymore. i'm killing myself tonight, gonna use car exhaust.
sorry about everything
>>23407676
From the once nervous girl's perspective. I say just do it! I bet she likes it. And even if she doesn't, oh well don't do it again.
>>23407698
Don't do that, man. Whatever it is isn't worth it.
>>23407635
Kinda feel the same way
Mostly been feeling this way recently because I got rejected by this one girl that I really thought liked me
It's been two weeks and I still feel like shit, someone help me get out of this funk
>>23407635
I missed this one. That's intense. I think you should write a story where that happens. I bet you could get published. I'd read it.
>>23407698
What kind of car do you have?
>>23407725
ford focus
>>23407712
it is
>>23407715
What would cheer you up, anon?
>>23407728
Care to elaborate?
>>23407728
I don't know if that'll do it. Do you have any money in your bank account? You might aswell go see another country before you die. Who knows maybe you'll find something to live for
Living at home is making my social anxiety worse. I'm becoming even more of a shut-in than I used to be. And my mom is super needy so I always feel like I never have any time to myself or to enjoying being my own person.
She always asks me why I don't have friends or why I don't enjoy being young but forgets about all the snide comments she starts making in the rare moments that I go out, as if she doesn't want me to have friends.
Sure, I can move out. But my mom is all I have and I feel like if I show even the slightest inclination that I want to live in my own space, she'll accuse me of changing, picking strangers over her, running away and abandoning her.
>>23407731
I mean I guess I'm mostly all depressed cause I think nobody I want to go out with will ever want to go out with me
I mean I'm fucking 19 and this was the first girl I ever asked out, and she didn't even give me a chance
Now whenever I see her, I feel like shit again
>>23407738
not a ton to say, i'm just fucking worthless and i'm tired of being alone
>>23407740
it'll do it, gonna hose the exhaust into the car to hotbox it
i have a few grand but it's not worth it
>>23407758
Yeah it is, you have a few grand in the bank. Go get a hooker, go skydiving, something. Suicide is super fucking selfish so you might aswell go all out, you're dying anyway
>>23407515
Why does it turn me on so fucking much when a guy whispers 'it's going to be ok' right after giving me a really good kiss?
I can't tell if it's like going back to my teenage rape fantasies of the creepo sushing me when I start to panic, or what. But my god does it turn me on. Like fucking christ I could fap to that alone.
>>23407753
Oh honey, if its the first person you've ever asked out then you have nothing to worry about! Thats only one chick and there are billions more out there. Seriously, just start looking elsewhere.
>>23407758
So start doing things that make you feel valuable. And really being alone isn't so bad, and its unlikely that it will last forever so learn to enjoy it. You have no restrictions. The world is your oyster. Take that couple grand and go do something that excites you.
When there's people clogging up the escalators and won't walk up because they're lazy af
>>23407777
Sweet quads.
That does sound really hot, but uh, why did he say that? I mean does he know that you're into it? Because if not that is probably less sexy and very disturbing.
>>23407523
Seriously this is kinda hot notice me senpai
On a totally unrelated note, I'm a huge masochist who really wants to be with someone who can legitimately scare me :^)
>>23407758
Hotboxing is choking yourself man. That's the worst. Honestly a few grands in the bank is enough to turn your life around. Get a therapist and trust me you'll get it together. I am a high school drop out who couldn't get into uni for a few years. Now an engineer earning 90k a year. I owe my life to my therapist.
>>23407794
I was being nervous and chattering a lot (basically in an open relationship and I was telling him how that works, and I was really only looking for a hookup, and I wanted to make sure no one got feelings involved and hurt, and blablabla, etc, etc,) and then he just bent down and kissed me.
It was really fucking hot and it put me at ease immediately, because I'm a pretty shy person in general and get a little ackward when I'm trying to get with someone.
>>23407808
Well then.
I hope you fucked him.
im a guy and i wanna blow a dick :^)
>>23407758
Come on man don't leave us in the dark like that
>>23407777
That is pretty hot
>>23407818
I did. And it was amazing. And I want to do it again soon haha.
A little off subject though, I'm wondering if there are hidden sites to find other couples to 'hook' up with your partner that doesn't involve a BDSM type lifestyle. Cause finding girls is like finding a fucking unicorn, but I want my man to be having fun too. He found one girl that was single that wants to have some fun, but she hasn't messaged him back in quite a while.
>>23407771
>>23407788
>>23407802
sorry. spending money doesn't make me happy, therapy didn't make me happy, and traveling the world didn't make me happy
i'll be dead in 20 mins
>>23407515
I'm never going to get laid, I have asked out at least 300 women in my life it's time to give up.
>>23407837
Dude, Nevada. Legal Brothel. Like seriously, it's worth it and it's clean because it's legal. And it's more focused on entertainment so you know you're guaranteed a good time.
>>23407834
Come on man. Something will make you happy again. Just wait it out!
Want to see my boobs? I don't know what else to offer via 4chan.
>>23407837
>>23407837
I mean, I've honestly been considering going to work at one because I enjoy sex and socializing so much and my god the money...and it's safe, so I wouldn't have to worry about being sold in the slave market. Or getting a disease.
>>23407830
I have no idea where you pick up chicks as a couple. Maybe like a swingers club or something?
>>23407834
I noticed you didn't mention the hooker, come on man I'm sure you could find one and finish in 15 minutes if you tried
>>23407859
That's what I was thinking, but I was under the impression swinger clubs were only BDSM lifestyle...I could be wrong though...
Right now though, we have a little agreement that I tell him all the juicy details and be a good little slut for him if I want to go out and fuck the other guy. But I do want to get him some action, or at least take him to a place that he has a better shot at getting some action. He's an amazing communicator and looks REALLY hansom when he cleans up. He could get someone easy if he tries.
Problem is where in such a small fucking town right now, it's hard to find a girl that we could trust...both body-wise and word-wise. Don't need rumours flying and hitting our families.
>>23407863
Backpage is a good place to look.
>>23407845
sure
>>23407863
it's not about the sex really, it's about the loneliness and never having anyone like me
>>23407607
it is?
>>23407692
I might do that actually. I used to go to concerts and hang out and pick fights with the drunk 40 somethings that always were crawling around the place hitting on any 7/10s that were barely 18. but lately the fantasies have been coming back strong lately
>>23407801
I didn't know guys would find my mental disturbances attractive
>>23407873
One of my good friends just fucked an old coworkers husband last week. The wife initiated everything. Do you have any friends or acquaintances that might be down?
>>23407850
How much money are we talking?
I really want to get laid, I already make good money for my age and location.
>>23407839
I have trouble coming to terms that I even need to resort to this.
I think it wouldn't make me happy because I'll still be inferior to all of you guys.
I'll be merely compensating for my lack of social skills.
>>23407889
Tbh I'm not a dude. I know that you might not believe that being as this is on 4chan but it's the truth
>>23407887
Well that wasn't very convincing. You gotta cheer up though dude. Surely something makes you happy.
>>23407889
My ex told me a story about how he almost killed a guy outside of a bar one night because he watched a guy stalk a drunk girl in the parking lot and try to get in her back seat. It was super fucking sexy.
>>23407834
Lonliness sucks. There are people out there for everyone. I'm serious. You see that tumblrina who is turned into a sjw. It's only because she's lonely af. The moment she finds a guy (you) all her annoying values go away and finds someone for the both of you.
>>23407887
If that's the case maybe it's just as easy as learning to communicate with people. I went through a big bout if depression for about 4 years, i think part of it was vitamin deficiency, so try getting some sun, take vitamin d supplements, etc. But the biggest thing that helped me was lying to people. I realised people didn't like talking to an edgy emo teenager, so whenever someone asked me how i was doing, i started responding with great or fantastic. Eventually i actually started believing it.
>>23407925
so you're not going to even try
>>23407894
Unfortunately, I have like...two 'girl' friends, both of which are taken and aren't into this type of lifestyle, and I'm not close enough to them to talk about it anyway-which is why we're looking for alternatives.
>>23407898
It depends, pretty sure it's a few hundred for an hour of entertainment, probably much more for fucking-like probably upwards of a thousand (but don't quote me on that, I don't actually know.
But you also have to consider that many, MANY guys go there because they get companionship and UN-judging attention that they can't get from their normal lives. It's a reason it's one of the worlds oldest professions, and I honestly wish it wasn't so frowned upon because humans need attention and sometimes sex, and we can't always get it easily. So why not pay for it if your able? It doesn't hurt anyone unless your lying to a partner and cheating...though even that could be argued somewhat...
I mean, me and my partner being in an open relationship helps us out quite a bit because we are able to get what we need from other people that we can't get from each other, but that allows our relationship to be more stable and healthy.
>>23407934
i know there's no one for me
>>23407949
don't feel like doing that anymore
My real confession is deep down I wish I could just fuck a woman against her will.
None of this bullshit, no talking or asking or getting to know her.
If she's with me in a secluded place and I'm horny, then I'll gag her and fuck the shit out of her.
I want to do this, and I actually genuinely regret not doing it when I had the chance with several girls.
I know I can go to jail, but it's just tempting as fuck.
I have a high sex drive but I don't like women, I just want to have sex with them.
I don't want to be their friend or know anything about them, I just want to turn them into sex sleeves.
I'm tired of pretending I'm not an animal, sex is primal everything else is secondary.
I just want to fuck women then leave when I'm done, I'm envy of the abusive guy who only uses his girl for sex. I want to be that guy, he seems like a rolemodel.
>>23407958
You should try killing yourself in a more bad ass way then. Have you considered seppuku? Honestly I'm a fan of choking yourself to death
>>23407970
Dude, you know how many women on this site would love to take you up on that offer?
The only thing is they have no way of knowing you wouldn't kill them, but I find that really fucking hot myself and wish I could trust you enough to let you do it to me. Unfortunately I can't, but you might get lucky and get an offer from someone else.
>>23407972
Oh don't do that.
>>23407970
... don't do that either.
>>23407979
are you going to show boobs or not because i'm about ready to start my car, got the hose all ready
>>23407515
If another goddamn israel loving liberal comes to me, I'm gonna get so angry I'm gonna rape everybody in the world.
>>23407991
HAHA
Ultimate troll.
No but seriously, don't kill yourself man. Try the brothel idea, the ladies are really nice and honestly enjoy their jobs and enjoy making men (and sometimes women) happy.
>>23407991
Come on man this is how people are going to remember you, do you want people to think you died like a bitch or a man?
>>23407837
become a virgin martyr for the catholic church
>>23407991
Plz smile.
>>23407999
i only said it because she offered
doesn't really matter now
>>23408003
doesn't matter at all
bye ;-;
>>23408044
B-but I posted them! I mean they're pretty tiny but come on man.
>>23408040
Oh wow, you have an adorable chest! I'm not hitting on ya, but just appreciate beauty and you have a really nice chest. I'm jealous lol.
>>23408044
Oh don't be such a sour puss, I was just givin ya little hard time is all. You have to admit, that would be the ultimate way to troll women into showing their tits off.
"I'm going to off myself unless you show me tits!"
Come on, it's funny. You see that right? But anyway, I don't think you really want to do it. Not really. I think you posted here because you want help and you want to be convinced not to, so let us convince you. Don't fight it so hard, just try some suggestions and if they don't work, well, go back to planning. It's not like time matters to you much anyway, right?
>>23408055
I'd say they're perfect. Not sure why the other anon wasn't satisfied. Sure made my night. :)
Time's moving too quickly, ain't there anyone out there to match my wavelength? :(
>>23407977
I have a feeling those women don't really get it, and half of them will regret.
They'll have "safe" words for when to stop or certain rules (don't cum in me.)
I don't want it to be about them, I want it to be about me.
If I'm going to enjoy it, I don't want to be thinking about what they want
I just want to listen to how I feel at that moment like an actual animal.
If I feel like cumming inside them, then I will. If I feel like taking off the condom, then I will.
It won't end till I'm finished, even if they threaten to call the police or regret it.
If I feel like a woman will call the police on me, I'll just tie her up and try to fuck her in all the ways I can imagine before facing the consequences.
Hopefully I end up lucky and meet women who don't actually press charges.
I'd probably want to even live with a woman, just so I can randomly come in her room and fuck her on my terms.
I know this scars women and some can't get over it, that's why I'm so pissed & sexually frustrated. How can I stay aroused when everything is so formal, how can I fuck someone like I mean it if I have to stop when they tell me to?
Having to request a woman for me to "rape" her isn't the same as just letting my sexual urges take over.
>>23408068
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af85afJIeBo
>>23408055
I enjoyed them
>>23408063
Haha I hear the adorable thing a lot. Probably because even though I'm near 30 my tiny breasts look like I just started puberty. I'll take it though, thanks.
>>23408075
I usually love large breasts, DD-F, but yours are perfectly shaped. I hope some lucky guy gets to play with them gently every night. Also, you seem like a sweet person whether anon's suicide claim is real, so kudos
>>23408070
I think you misunderstood me. I've seen girls on this site willingly go to a designated motel room and wait for guys exactly like you and what you are describing-mind you they usually have a death wish and were going to commit suicide anyway, so they were completely fine with whatever happened.
I'm just saying you might be able to snag such a women and have her wait at a motel room for you (or maybe not a motel if you want somewhere more private so more noise can be made).
It's just an alternative to committing a crime that's going to land you in jail for the rest of your life, and you might even be able to use that women multiple times. You might even get lucky enough to find one that wants to live with you in exchange for being taken care of.
If I wasn't so sensitive to pain and fear, I would be willing to try a one night stand just because I'm fucked up like that and would secretly love being used.
>>23408055
i hadn't seen them, they were posted basically the same time as my last post
thanks, they're cute and perfect
>>23408087
I highly doubt many women would be okay with a guy that refuses safewords. that's going beyond a kink, that's just a straight up rapist. people like that aren't stable enough to fuck
>>23408070
>that's why I'm so pissed & sexually frustrated
because you'll only have sex if it fulfills your exact fantasy? you sound way too picky to be complaining
I have fantasies of killing all of my family.
They're all heroine addicts that I'm forced to live with because no matter how many applications I put into jobs I never get replies, they've used my name for utilities they can't get because all the companies that supply here they defaulted on. So I need the money they get from disability, one is blind the others spine is broken, and I need the money to live, since they stole mine. I would call the police just to fuck them all over, but I don't know the pin.
I fantasies about cutting their throats or flaying them alive.
>>23408070
Some girls genuinely want this. Me, for example. It'd be so hot if a guy actually didn't care what I wanted when he fucked me. Being used like that... Mmf. You just need to find the right girl. No charges will be pressed, and she'd probably even stay with you long term if she was really into it
>>23408099
>I highly doubt many women would be okay
Well no shit, but I HAVE seen it happen on this site at least twice in my five years of being here, so I know it's not impossible, just rare.
But the alternative IS him raping someone, and I doubt he wants to go get some therapy.
>>23408103
1-tell a doctor about how you feel so you can get into therapy. Don't be afraid to be honest, you won't get in trouble for just saying how you feel if you haven't done anything. Therapists are there to help
2-through therapy or your doctor, ask for government and financial help to get the fuck out of that situation. Believe it or not, they WILL and CAN help you get on your feet somewhere else through programs and contacts. They can start you off in some low income housing and a starter job
3-STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. It saved my life by getting the fuck away from mine when I started having similar thoughts about killing my uncle and realised I need to get the fuck out before I did something stupid.
>>23408098
Well hopefully they were cute enough to cheer you up a bit this evening and convince you to wait and think about good things in life. Like tits, and ice cream, and puppies.
>>23408103
Dont do it. I Have the same feelings with my abusive family. I almost did it a few times but held off and holding it in affected my health desu
>>23408119
I like you. Thanks for being cool.
>>23408119
BULLSHIT THERE IS NO MOTHER FUCKING HELP IF YOU LOOK WHITE
>>23408124
idk i'm still thinking about it. i'm already ready and all i have to do is turn the key
that was really nice though
>>23408132
I can't tell if serious
>>23408130
Thanks, you're pretty cool yourself. I hope people in this thread can cheer up a bit, though I'm not in their situation and can't really hold it against them to be honest...
>>23408137
Would you be willing to listen to this for a while?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JOdPqdXZ8Y
Obviously you don't have to, but it might be a nice listen for you.
>>23408143
I have been begging for help for 22 years? Where is it? I have been homeless even at 9 years old. Where is this magical help at?
>>23408119
There are no doctors I can see, no money no insurance, no car to get anywhere.
I initially tried joining the marine corps to get away. Didn't work when no matter how much exercises I get I stay weak as hell, no muscle mass builds.
>>23408147
You basically have to be one of those really loud, whiners that scream 'I'm going to kill myself', or 'I'm going to hurt someone else' if you want to get the attention you need....it fucking sucks that it has to be taken that far, but you have to do it...and sometimes you have to do it again or to different people.
There's a person that will listen and take you seriously about 1 time out of every 50, but they are there...
>>23408137
Dude. Don't do it. Things can always turn around. Just hold off for another couple days. Go outside and feel the world. There's good out there.
>>23408148
You don't need money, you just walk into a clinic or the police station, put your dick on the table (not literally), and straight up tell them:
"I am considering hurting people and I need help, I cannot keep living the way I am or I am going to hurt someone or myself".
And if your not willing to even try that then you really won't ever get anywhere.
>>23408162
I'll see what I can do.
I can explain reasons why itll be difficult, things I need are here, our pets, small probably worthless collections, etc.
But won't be in possession of those if I snap and act on these feelings.
>>23408110
> go get some therapy
I think struggling for so long to get laid made me stop caring about what women wanted which created this obsession.
I doubt I need therapy for something primal, I went this long without acting on it.
I'm just at a point where I care less & less about consequences. (This applies to everything)
If I need therapy for this then people need therapy for bdsm and other fantasies.
I still have empathy, I just like the power to get what I want when I want fuck morals.
I don't care if someone walked in my house and shot me in the head.
I don't care if one day I suddenly lose my good job.
I don't care about a woman's personality, hobbies or anything when considering a partner.
Soon, I will not care about if I go to jail. At that point, that's when the fun begins.
It's not even complete sociopathy, it's learned behavior a complete 180 from my previous self.
It's hard to think therapy would help, I like myself and won't change for anyone else's sake.
I used to be the caring loser, started being a bit dishonest and jumped up the career ladder.
I'm never going back, life is fun & fulfilling as the "villain"
>>23408177
>But won't be in possession of those if I snap and act on these feelings.
Exactly, but you'll lose much more too.
>>23408194
welp, no matter how you want to look at it buddy, you ARE describing sociopathy. Don't lie to yourself about that. How severe it is? I don't know, but those are some of the most obvious symptoms. You are going to do what you want, but if you DON'T want to get in trouble and lose your free will, and you DON'T really want to hurt someone, then ya, I would try therapy.
>>23408206
Sounds like sociopathy is the secret to happiness then.
I had 15+ years of depression till I learned to stop caring about these things.
Went from suicidal to happy as fuck and enjoying life for the first time. It feels like fucking a woman against her will is the last thing on my checklist before I feel complete fulfillment.
Being happy sounds better than anything, if I was truly going to end up in jail for life and wouldn't want that I'd just suicide on a good note probably, I'm not scared to do that.
Majority of the reason why I won't fuck a woman against her will is because it'll scar her and ruin her life.
I'm just stating I'm slowly starting to care less about that, and it might reach a point where I can finally do it.
> don't really want to hurt someone
I think you're projecting your own empathy onto me, and assume a different perspective is sociopathic.
I cry over peoples death and I am currently paying rent for a friend and a relative while handling my own needs.
I will not get anything in return, it's not that I don't care about them. It's that I don't care about the consequence of giving people money. (As in they don't pay back, or I can't afford stuff for myself.)
I care about people, but I only care about the consequences to my actions to a certain degree.
Deep down I wish I didn't care about people at all, and I hope that day comes for me.
Evil might be more accurate, but being evil doesn't make you sociopathic.
I feel I'm an Evil person who wishes to get rid of the guilt of my own desires, as in I wish I was sociopathic.
>>23408151
Whiners...aka not real. Like the trannys who say they have ptsd for being born the wrong gender.I need help and can't get it period. There is no place to go like you stated in your previous post.
I don't love my girlfriend. If given an opportunity, I would love to get with someone new.
I love my cat. I can't wait to get home to hug her after work.
I saw a cat for adoption online. They couldn't keep it because they signed a lease for an apartment that doesn't allow pets. I would never give up my cat that easily. The thought makes me tear up.
I've had my cat for 1.5 years and they've had their cat for 2 years. I guess I might be more attached to my kitty than others are attached to theirs.
Idk man
I would say something like : Listen, I really like spending a lot of time with you, sharing moments, but I think I prefer to stay alone, I know it's selfish, and it's not like that I'll build my life, but I don't have the feeling I want to continue with you, I may regret that, I'll do for sure, but things is I don't love you like I would like, and it's like I'm lying to myself everytime I'm speaking with you.
Bit in the end I think that even if that's what I'm thinking, I'm too much of a coward to fix things...
>>23408388
How old are you? I'm not sure, but I have the feeling I'm in the same situation as yours...
I'm an attractive woman who is a huge geek and has a relative impressive job in a geeky industry. Like most people who share my interests, I grew up having a hard time dealing with other kids my age and a harder time finding a date.
That's all changed now, though. I can easily pick up a guy at a bar, but, more to my style, I'll find someone passionate, interesting, intelligent, funny and kind who relates to me on the geek side, and start building a relationship with them... That is, that's how it used to be.
Now I'll find an awesome guy like that and emotionally feel almost nothing. Sometimes there are flares of passionate and positive emotion, but they are brief and very far apart, if at all.
I can't tell if I'm "looking for love in all of the wrong places", too stressed from work to experience those emotions, or finally have grown out of hormonal craziness of young adulthood and just thought that it was love when it wasn't. Maybe I've had too much ease finding partners and have become unreasonably picky. Maybe I miss it being a challenge. Maybe I just know what I want better and can spot it more easily.
That worry, along with stress from my job and scars from events long in the past has brought back depression. I drink heavily. I do absolutely nothing of value some days. I consider suicide.
I don't have many female friends and so many of my male friends are either interested in me or closer friends to one of my exes, making it impossible to talk to them about this. When I talk to less close people, they generally see me as too well off to have any right to complain.
I just want to feel passionately for someone. I miss caring like that. I miss caring for someone like that.
It sucks to get attention yet still feel so lonely, and no one sympathizes with it at all. And it's driving me to the point where I'm going to be talked about on the news as "a young, successful woman unexpectedly took her own life this morning..."
I just don't want to be broken.
I want to work but I don't have the self confidence to go to an interview. My mother has never believed in me or told me that I could do anything so I guess I can't.
>>23408629
You should just tell them exactly how you feel
>>23408687
I can very much relate to that (although I'm a guy) (and not working in a very geek-y industry). I don't know how old you are, but, like you, I've also tentatively come to the conclusion that it might just be a part of "growing up". Emotions in general - or so it seems to me - are much deeper when you are young and then gradually become less, become shallow, until one is left with only something like a "memory" of emotion.
Well.
I don't know if that is something universal, but you're definitely not the only person left feeling like that. Although the reasons you have given for why you have nobody to talk to about the emotional difficulties you are experiencing do not compute for me, I will accept your reasoning at face value.
I'm also not sure if that process ever "ends" and releases you into your full-grown life as a grey cardboard cutting of a human, or if it is ongoing, forever becoming less, shallower, flatter...
Out of that, I can't really spin a well-founded case for why you shouldn't kill yourself, but I'll still tell you not to do that. Just because.
Also, well, if you want to talk about this in more detail, feel free. I'd love to get a different point of view on my own problems and that might be mutual.
>>23408687
You are not the first or the last person to feel like that, so don't worry about that part.
And yeah, growing up was fucking horrible but I can't thank enough the people I met later down the line who appreciates me. I'd like to suggest you might have some slight autism in there that would make you feel absentminded and empty when you come to blows with certain emotions you want to feel in the romance department.
Or perhaps it might be that sharing too much of the same interest is too boring for you; what is there to share when you already have a range of emotions about those particular things, when you consciously hear something you like but subconsciously it wasn't even that satisfying to hear and share at all.
Maybe you want someone to actually -share- your feelings, your life, your passions and your geeky activities with someone that doesn't judge you or care too much about what other thinks about the things YOU like; but cares more for the fact that you like them?
Maybe you want to share it in a way where the person hasn't heard about anything you are talking about (and can exchange something of the same value?), but is invested in it for you and finds it interesting because you want someone to know -you- as the person and not why -you- like the things you do. But rather the person behind all the things you like, for someone to understand the things you like and not WHY you like them.
It might not make sense at all, but you do sound like someone who wants to be understood in more ways than just the things you could share beyond common interests.
Mom, Dad, Matt...
I'm seriously considering starting HRT when I get back and transitioning. This is something I've had in the back of my mind for a long time, and I know it's a huge surprise because I've never mentioned anything close to doing this. I've never mentioned that I'm Pan, not to anyone. The more I look into it the more it makes sense to me. I don't know what scares me more, how you guys will react or how I will react, how I will look. I really wish I could talk to you guys about it, I just don't think it would go over. I think I have a lot to consider before I decide on it, and maybe if I start on them, I can just bring it up after I've begun and that would make it easier. That way I'm not telling you before, and instead I'm just already doing it.
After 5 years, i still love her. And i'm pretty sure i'll never forget her.
I resent the power girls have in society today.
I'm a really easy going guy in late 20s. Been married for 5 years. I love my wife to bits. But I find myself inches away from killing her in her sleep most nights. Not just a quiet pillow over the face either, but a full on massacre, repeatedly stabbing her in the face with whatever's near me. Only thing stopping me, is thinking of the consequences.
JUST SEND ME YOUR NUDES ALREADY
FUCK
My wife left me. I love her a ridiculous amount that it's almost impossible to get over her. I've hit on, flirted with and even fucked multiple other women and felt absolutely nothing for them. It was just a physical exercise of getting my rocks off. I think of her every night and no one else.
She's made some really dumb choices and once it comes crashing down I know she'll come crawling back to me and I honestly don't know if I'll have the strength to tell her to fuck off or if I'll end up taking her fucked up ass back.
I'm an ugly turbo virgin who's never even hugged a man at almost 28 years old now.
At least three younger men I work with online have recently gained a crush on me thanks to my calm, sweet voice though and I feel bad for enjoying the attention so much.
I'm a fucking manchild who acts as a crybaby when things don't go like I want. I'm also needy as fuck and this is fucking my life in every possible way
I just want to feel that I belong in society, that I fill a role, that someone will notice if I don't show up one morning
I hate that I'm 18 with no job. I hate not knowing Spanish because I am barred from the jobs in my area, and getting to know my Grandpa. I hate how I constantly think of my acne and how it prevents me from making an effort to get into a relationship. I hate having no motivation to do anything despite how easy it is. I hate thinking so much about doing things. I just want like 1 week of pure alone time with no one around. Boredom really kicks me in the mood, plus people are negative and I know people don't really care about me. I act nice, funny, polite, and caring but no one cares for that. I just do this by default because I think I'm lost with myself. I feel like I don't know who I am. I used to act very easy with people, was always happy, and felt proud of myself. This mood goes on and off, I just want to feel that for good. I have too much on my mind and I need to be alone.
>>23407578
Wanna fight-fuck?
Kajukenbo and MMA
>>23407515
I have stronger feelings for TV show characters than I do almost everyone in my life.
i am a piece of shit weeb who wants to call someone her onii chan.
some of these are so sad and then there is i.
>>23407889
Oh whatever, this shit happens to everybody who trained in fighting. I was a boxer for like ten years, went GG when I was like 17. You always want to knock people out who are assholes and you always have an urge to just smash somebody's face in for no reason at all. Just accept it, it's part of who you are now.
>>23412886
isn't that like.... brother or sister or something in moonspeak? Fuck, I just don't understand weebs.
>>23412898
dont even try to understand.
i am human waste.
also, yes.
I started using POF and Tinder and found a couple of girls who were interested. I'm probably not going to fuck them, but it still feels good Y'know?
Knowing you don't have to resort to just fucking whatever aids-ridden tranny washes up off of craigslist. Maybe I could still find Love IRL.
I am, so obese, just horribly obese. I have reached the point of "super morbidly obese" yet but I'm morbidly obese for sure. I want to lose weight but I'm not strong enough to do it. Sometimes I wonder if I genuinely have a food addiction. I have a very addictive personality and I do crave it strongly sometimes.I don't know where to go to seek help for this because every time I try and lose some weight I just go back to bad habits and gain more. I think I'm disgusting but I also want to feel appreciated and like someone thinks I'm attractive. and some people do, but I just wish I myself could.
>>23412949
I feel for you bro. I'm going through that myself right now. I got lucky, my brother's wedding this year and I wanted to look good for the photos. That's my motivation, you just need to find yours.
Believe it or not, just thinking about how obese or disgusting you are doesn't actually help. All it does is create a vicious cycle in which you try to go on the straight-and-narrow, but fall back into old habits.
>>23412983
I'm so aware that it does that. I mean its been doing that to me for years, and people ask if you know its a problem why don't you fix it, and I just can't explain, like, its a constant struggle.
But you're totally right about needing motivation, I need that thing that gets me off my ass and makes me just get it done.
>>23412949
you dont crave food, you crave pleasure, maybe you should find something that interest you. i have very little fat now, but i used to be borderline fat for normal standards. when i started playing guitar and piano, i programmed myself to practice when i felt like stuffing my face with shit. tldr: do something else when you feel like eating, its that simple.
>>23412983
Something that's been helping me out is just drinking tea throughout the day and eating something light like an orange if I start feeling peckish. I also started lifting and joined my Uni's Water Polo club.
Thought you were my first girlfriend I dont need you anymore I realised my own worth once again. I just wanted you to know that when we first met I was just going to use you as my fuck doll and you brought me to your level using your manipulative tatics your nothing but a gold digging whore ,but like mother like daughter I am higher than both you bitches I hope you enjoy your new guy and the stds he brings.
You both deserve each other.
and If I ever catch him near my little cousins again I won't just throw a few punches I am looking to take his life and yours..
that's a promise.
Our sex life sucks. You have a low sex drive and mine is insanely high. I thought it was something we could work through and the lack of sex isn't that big of a deal, but it's huge. I love you, but not enough to sacrifice my needs. I've been considering cheating for a while and might go through with it this week if you don't fuck me.
>>23413097
Just break up with them you piece of shit.
Love you. Platonically. It's a shame you couldn't handle that.
>>23407659
>Fuck buddies
>buddies
>actual relationships
You really think being fuck buddies is any different than "normal" human relationships? Its still interacting with another human being on a regular, mutual basis.
>>23412949
I was really, really bad 5'3 and something over 350 lbs myself. I spent last year losing over 130 lbs and I'm working on the rest now, so maybe I can help if you'd like someone to talk to.
What kinds of things have you tried doing before you went back to old habits? When I found the perfect diet for me, I rarely got cravings.
>>23408278
>>>/fit/
Just go put your shit energy to getting huge
>>23408753
Sounds like a good case of teenage angst being useful. "FUCK YOU MOM I"LL DO WHAT I WANT"
I've been mad crushing over this one girl from uni. We met a few years ago during a photography course. We never really talked, mainly due to my anxiety and depression. She tried striking up small talk every now and then, but I never really paid any attention to her. I was going through some pretty gnarly anxiety and depression. Plus I'm a natural shut-in, so talking to people was pretty low on the list of priorities. Looking back, I get the feeling she was flirting with me.
Fast forward to next semester or so. I'm hanging out with another girl from my (co-ed) fraternity. I can't quite remember what we were doing, but her friend was joining us. I was kinda shocked to see that girl in my photo class. She looked real happy to see me, and i get the opportunity to apologize for ignoring her. We start chatting more often and we end up having a lot in common. We friend each other on facebook and i creep her profile a bit. She has a bf. Yeah, i was kinda bummed, but how could i expect someone like her to be single? Then I looked at how long they've been together and it really took the wind out of my sails. Their relationship started around the end of the semester where we shared the photography course.
It hurts, but it doesn't really change anything. We are still great friends. But I can't shake the feeling succumbing to my own failures and not taking a chance with this girl. Every now and then, I'll hear that she sometimes has problems with her bf, which they do eventually work out every time.
I don't like entertaining the idea of wishing she would break up so I can make a move. I think it's selfish and disgusting. But whenever i do think of that, i wonder what kind of bf I'll be.
I've only been in one relationship my life and I broke it not even three months in because I my depression was at an all time low and I didn't want to bring her into that.
Fuck, this is oversimplified. I have so many feels but can't convey them.
>>23407659
you may be aromantic! some people just don't enjoy or want romantic relationships
I wish I had a vagina for you to enjoy
It just feels right
