Hows an 18 year old college freshmen at an urban campus supposed to get laid?
gif mostly unrelated
Also I'm a commuter
[spoiler]VCU[/spoiler]
Go to party
Walk up to girl you find attractive
Hi I'm anon what's your name
Strike out
Get drunk
Wait till end of night
Find girl with "insert dick here" basically written on forehead
Fuck like rabbits
Regret it the next day
/thread
>>23237523
Know how to find parties?
I've heard they are posted on facebook and that there are certain places where they are known to always happen at the same days and times
>>23237493
I've no idea how anybody gets laid t b h f a m.
Just find a hooker on Craigslist you're hopeless op
>>23237805
Why do you say that
>>23237531
they either tell you, or you're not gonna be let in the door anon
trust me, I'm a senior and have never been invited to a single party
the only one I went to at a frat house had me thrown out when they found out I was some random guy and not anyone there's friend
>>23237907
Exactly. In order to meet willing (emphasis) bitches you have to be in their social circle. In other words, be at the right place at the right time. In other words, sex partner is always being found thanks to a accident/luck. You can be hot stud with no luck and thus no sex, but you can also be a lucky fat swine. That's how it is in this goddamn universe.
>>23237493
Are you fucking kidding me man, it's like you're playing on easy mode.
Step 1: Dont be fat
Step 2: Conceal your autism power level
Step 3: Alcohol
Step 4: Pussy
Hey Ram Senpai
>>23237531
>Know how to find parties?
Do you not have friends?
>>23237907
>senior
>never been invited to a single party
How? I went to a religious college and am introverted and still went to countless parties. That's embarrassing, man.
>>23238098
Concealing my power level is easy but its finding the alcohol and pussy in the same spot at the same time thats hard because I'm not 21 so I cant get into bars or clubs
>>23238439
Hey dude, know any places where people hang out other than the fucking library and commons?
>>23238449
I have friends but none of them have any interest in parties so I gotta make more friends who are into it
>>23237493
Oh man I can make it so easy for you.
A. Go to all the parties, just randomly walk into them, trust me.
B. You don't have to be a attractive, just be clean. Basic hygiene -don't smell.
C. Once at a party, blend in. Don't try to be cool. Do what every else is around you. Don't stand in one place for too long. Stick to crowds when you can. If dude makes eye contact for longer than 2 seconds, don't run, introduce yourself, smile. Don't get drunk, but drink.
D. Start talking to girls, not one after the other, space it out. Say ANYTHING. Just say it. One of two things will happen either you immediately get ignored -in which case walk away wait a bit try a new girl, or they start talking to you.
Half way through a party (1-2am-ish) you will always find a few that start having a conversation with you. They are usually drunk and sitting alone. Don't go for the girlies sticking to a group. You're a wolf hunting sheep, pick off the ones that strayed from the pack.
Talk to them, about anything. Keep them talking. And move the conversation as quickly as you can to sexual things. Like, 'Hi Stacey. yada yada, so if you were a famous porn actress who would you be?" Escalate it, get her alone under pretense of going out for a smoke (pick up smoking) or talking without the noise. Once alone, go to kiss, make out, "who's dorm is closer?" or "my car is parked right there"
>>23239319
>>23239319
Cont..
>>23237531
Listen for the music. See people walking in and out. Walkin.
E. If D failed you, stick around to the end. Hopefully you're not drunk. High five some frat boys as they leave. Be nonchalant, help clean up a bit. Count number of male:female when almost everyone's gone. If there are more females, and you think there's a good chance their bf is not amongst the males. Talk to her. Say anything, but DO NOT escalate to sexy things. You will lock her into some pointless convo about some existential pointless bs. Mostly listen, agree with her, disagree with her, whatever. As she leaves, "Oh, I'm going that way too". Talk more, walk slowly. If she's drunk enough, you won't have to say anything she'll just lead you back to her dorm. Freshmen will do it 98% of the time. If she's still lucid, offer a nightcap, but if you have to say that it's usually a no go, flip her off and drive away in your mustang (buy a mustang).
Easy right? Simply understand they want to fuck as bad as you do, they just need to get drunk enough. Most male freshmen however will miss their cue (that's how pointless relationships start when in reality everyone wants an orgy). Read that again, most males will miss the cue. What's the cue?
Is she still talking to me?
Yes = you're getting laid pal congrats! See how quick you can get your dick in one from the first hello (my record is 15 minutes youngin).
>>23237907
>e only one I went to at a frat house had me thrown out when they found out I was some random guy and not anyone there's friend
Oh, almost forgot OP. Very Important rule. Don't go to frat parties. All the tail at that party belongs to them, they catch you pulling what I'm teaching, and you will beat the spunk out of you. Frat parties are worthless anyway.
>>23239319
>>23239333
>>23239352
All that sounds good and well but how do I find the parties to begin with?
>>23239319
>>23239333
>>23239352
Also I'm capping your shit
>>23237523
>She later regrets it
>Get expelled for rape
>>23239362
Walk around at night. You have dorm rooms right? Walk around and listen for people and music. Bring a friend with you to chat while you prowl. Some parties you'll be able to hear, but the doors will remain closed. Around 11pm-12am you'll see a few that spill over. People walking in and out constantly, mostly to smoke (though kids these days don't smoke as much as they used to). There'll be a lot of hustle and bustle, you just walk in. Usually everyone is so disoriented, you'll never even figure out who's throwing the party in the first place. If someone picks you out of the crowd, say whatever. The person is either going to tell you to leave or he won't. Start talking about bass fishing, see what he does. Nothing matters here.
I personally like to crash parties, but sure enough if crash one, you'll at some point meet some other schmucks trying to get their dick wet. Feed the schmuck any alcohol that's not a bud lite, or bum him a smoke, and he'll tell you about some other party happening soon. Like an RPG game. Get his number, next time you're prowling, flip out your phone and start texting your schmucks until one responds with party coordinates.
>>23239522
Its hard on me cause I don't live on campus, cant even get into the dorms unless a guy that lives there signs you in, and even people that live in a dorm cant get into other dorms, its like each dorm is its own thing and has multiple layers of security
But do parties happen in all dorms? Because if so then maybe I can get him to let me in sometime (I have a friend in a dorm that I hang out with in his room regularly) so maybe I can just be straight up with him and say that I'm looking for one
Also I dont wanna sound like a bitch but wandering around at night time looking for a party kinda makes me nervous because vcu is a campus in the middle of the city and I dont wanna get robbed or attacked or something, plus I'm a bit nervous about getting lost
>>23239521
Nah. There's a special type that would try a stunt like that, you'll notice by instinct while talking to them. Slobbering drunk, but with a chip on her shoulder. You only really have to worry about these types if you're a big guy and fairly attractive. If you're a skinny nerdish looking 4channer, they wouldn't dare announce to everyone you two had sex.
Oh, here's another tip OP. While sexing, try things out, weird positions, talking dirty, whatever, make a goal to embarrass yourself. Maybe start crying and tell her you were raped by your aunt and then get her to do some sort of aunt play see if she goes with it -if she's not too hammered. Point is to get comfortable with the in/out act as quickly as you can and evolve to the next level (boy->an adult man). As a man, you learn more about the female body than the female it belongs to. Getting a freshman's toes to curl could be as simple as nibbling on their ear, but getting it just right requires total comfort with the situation. You'll likely be to nervous to pay attention first few times. If you can make them cum, or if you just have a big dick, they will call you for sex over and over and over again. Don't try to get to know them or their friends, that's relationship territory which is a slippery downhill slope to nowhere.
>>23239604
Damn man which college do you go to?
>>23239560
> Its hard on me cause I don't live on campus, cant even get into the dorms unless a guy that lives there signs you in, and even people that live in a dorm cant get into other dorms, its like each dorm is its own thing and has multiple layers of security
Yea yea, same everywhere. Like I said watch for spillage, Friday nights, Thursday nights it varies by campus, those doors will be open/closing every three seconds. See a group standing outside? Join it. See some schmucks dressed like schmucks carrying alcohol? Give em a smoke and ask them where's the party.
They are out there OP, rest assured.
If you're nervous being alone, find a space camp buddy. Could be anyone, tell him the first person to bone a freshman with blonde hair born between October-November owes the other $100.
You can also simply ask people you sort of know 'anything going on this weekend', collect phone numbers. Say you'll bring a couple of bottles of something or other, show value.
What state you in, I have another secret if it's middle of fucking nowhere.
dont be a fucking autist faggot and you should be ok
>>23239623
Oh, I graduated like 6 years ago. I did my graduate degree in the same uni by coincidence, which is how I got to train for my black belt in college partying.
At one point I started bringing bar friends back with me. Try to imagine slick bachelor 30 something's crashing undergrad parties.
>>23239655
VA
>>23239690
Yeah I'm at vcu
It has like no greek row or anything, cops crack down hard on drugs and alcohol, and a lot of the students are just boring and dont wanna really do anything
Are you saying you went to VCU?
>>23239710
Nah, but I visited madison once. I learned of something wonderful I could not have learned where I got my degree.
VA seems like it could be the type of place for it. Though Madison has a sort of top pedigree for this I learned.
Spread by word of mouth, at some bicycle warehouse in the middle of nowhere, an old school rave. They way they used to do them in the 80's and 90's. That is, copious amounts of MDMA and cocaine used openly, gorgeous half nude girls that are getting all touchy feely, and the weirdest mix of people trying to hold a coherent conversation long past the point the molly in your brain will allow.
I've seen freshmen at these things, usually cute girls that by chance were invited by the event throwers. Try out the ones that are listed online first (try facebook, but dig deeper, maybe craigslist, forums, IRC rooms), until you detective your way into the real deal. It's like the underground railroad, you won't believe it even exists until you find yourself at one. They don't card. There's maybe a 10$ cover. No alcohol, no nothing, just dudes playing music, and like 50 drug dealers. Bring cash.
My advice is, stick around till morning, and look for the sign (around 3-5am), out of nowhere a bunch of older guys (40~) will start to show up dancing like they are mentally handicapped. If this doesn't happen, it's not a real rave, try again at some other place. But if the old men show up. Treat them as divine wizards and attempt to learn all you can from them, they will show you how to use jedi mental powers. Likely by doing it to you (just remember everything they say is a lie), but don't be offended, be honored if one alternates between talking to you and neighing like a horse -and doing it so smoothly and gracefully, that you won't be certain if it's the drugs screwing with your mind or he just really neighed like a horse while introducing himself.
>>23239710
I must leave you young one. Remember what I have taught you. Use your powers for evil. Drive fast, take chances.
have you tried being attractive
>>23238449
I go to a very small private school and have not had friends in the last 5 years
basically all my time spent is in my room and studying because people don't like me
that's how, you forget not everyone is some playboy who goes out and parties all the time
>>23239909
Thank you master, may we all live long and prosper.
>>23237493
Have you never heard of tinder? Easy shit
Then again I have tits so I guess it's easier for me
Funny thing is I wasn't even looking to get laid ever
Otherwise just be involved in shit including discussions
Best way to get to know someone and get their attention is being involved in stuff
>>23240088
Tinder doesnt work for me, need to change my pic I guess
>>23240088
Oh but hey, as a girl, got any tips for what makes a good tinder pic for a guy?
Also got any tips about what to say when you get a match?
>>23240093
I Don't mind helping, I know this isn't the right "thread" but I'm bored and feeling helpful
Otherwise like I said, get involved.
Do you have any smaller classes? Maybe only freshman classes. Freshman are easy as bad as that sounds but I was a freshie last year so I saw shit go down within my group of friends
>>23240129
Honestly look like a posh faggot as weird as that sounds. I usually always swiped right for guys that looked like they'd be a frat guy mainly because I wanted to see what I could get
When you match, don't skip to sex talk that just made me chuckle but not in a good way
Take something from their bio and ask about it and try to spark a convo
Ex:
>bio states major
>mention interest about major or ask question about it
The guys that caught my attention most were the ones who didn't mind having actual convo first but like I said I wasn't particularly looking to get laid
Will give more advice if wanted
I'm not in college anymore and I'm 28 now. Would it be weird if I crashed college parties? I just wanna fuck younger guys. I'm a single femanon, btw
>>23240135
I wanna post the pic I use but I'm afraid that the mods will delete the thread cause of it, had it happen before
I dont have any freshmen only classes, VCU is huge and has loads of people, we got all 4 years and up going to like all the classes, just yesterday I met a girl who was close to her doctorate
Eh fuck it I'll post it, I already gotta lotta advice from the samurai from earlier, if the modds ax it then so be it
>>23240165
I haven't used tinder in months and this is the one I always used, I've been told that all indoor pics are shit, graphic tees are a no go (I never wear them anymore and dress a lot better), I had the wrong haircut (I have that short on the sides and tall up top one now), and to get rid of that facial fuzz (shave regularly now)
Other than that I look basically the same, so just imagine me now with better hair, clothes, and a good cut
I guess I need a pic thats not me smiling like a dope and that isnt next to a closet?
>>23240165
Also if you are cool with it, just incase the mods crash the thread, you can post in this sub reddit
Yeah yeah reddit well some of them are good sue me
https://www.reddit.com/r/vcu/
Just post some shit like "wheres the guy from that soc thread"
I'm blackandwhite675
Anyone else is bullshitting you
>>23240170
Fuck yeah do it! Dudes love older chicks
>>23240183
Awh you're a cutie! Honestly if you did the things you're saying then your odds are pretty up there for getting laid in my opinion.
And I'll check it out if it crashes.
Another tip that works for tinder is not as close up for pics, selfies work for chicks for some reason but not so much for dudes idk why. Also pics of you in social situations help.
And if you don't have smaller classes then maybe get involved in groups like my uni had astronomy club and such.
Although I went to one meeting for the astron one and never went back because it was filled with grad students
I guess just find something that fits you best to get involved. You'll make different friends that way which usually leads to getting laid in several cases.
>>23240302
If close up pics are no good then what kinda pic should I take?
Do I need one of those sticks to hold the phone so its more of a general body shot then just my face?
Also what university do you go to?
Also another thing I've noticed is that a some girls seem to be kinda creeped out by how off the grid I am, they try to find instagrams of me, facebook, whatever, they can never find anything
It never happened that often but I think it might have scared a few off, am I just imagining things or do I need to get in on those things?
>>23240348
That's why I mentioned go to social events, have people take pics of you with friends and such that way it's more than just your face.
I went to UWMilwaukee, hoping to go back but you know, college is fucking expensive
Also I won't lie if a guy had his Twitter posted or maybe Instagram I'd lurk but mainly because it lets you see more of them. Girls I guess like to see what else you do in your spare time besides tinder. See what kind of guy you are idk we are crazy
But I don't think it's enough to scare a girl off in my opinon.
>>23240375
Well I guess thats that, don't skip straight to sex talk with a girl, I have all the proper pic stuff down, any tips on what to say to let her know you wanna fuck and how to get her to agree?
Also since I need to go and this is all anon and your as far away as this midwest while Im on the east cost, plus I wanna know how some girl out there feels
If we were talking over tinder, or text, or in person, and we didn't live like 1000 miles apart
Would you be down to fuck?
>>23240375
Oh and is facebook any good for hook ups or no?
Know any other good ways for them?
>>23240405
Well I'm in a pretty sweet relationship of over a year currently and since I've been banging the same guy for so long I have no idea what I'd do if I were single. I can recognize when people are attractive, which you are, but I don't think of others in sexual ways. I know it sounds lame by in a hopeless romantic and shit so
Also funny thing is I met him on Tinder
I don't doubt that you could get a girl like me though. If that makes sense
>>23240497
Sooooo if you were single does that count as a probably?
>>23240497
Also what would you say I am out of 10, remember the changes I said I did since the pic was taken
>>23240432
Oh and a good way to get across that you want to bang, make the hanging out part casual. Going on a date is cute but in my opinion that's what you do if you have relationship intentions. For banging it's watching a movie or something along that nature. Recommend a Disney movie night, bitches love that shit. Or a horror, whatever works best with the girl.
As for Facebook I would say no but that's just me. For me, my Facebook is more personal, I will add you if I know you but I don't really talk to anyone on there unless I know them well.
>>23240519
If I were the type to casually hook up then for sure, but you're a little dorky looking and I like dorky looking guys. They usually have better personalities, depending I guess. They can't be too dorky though, idk, I'm picky.
But if I casually hooked up then yes.
Probably 7/10
Which is good because I don't hold back on rating honestly. I recently posted in a rate thread if you knew who I was you'd see I don't give out anything above a 6 often
If you have any other questions feel free to ask, otherwise break a leg dude!
>>23240552
>mfw theres a girl out there that says if not for a her relationship and 1000 miles of distance shed be down for hooking up
Its stuff like this that keeps me going
Well I dont really know what else to say femanon, thanks for the advice and thanks for the confidence boost
Oh but I guess I got one more thing, you think you could post in that vcu sub reddit asking for the guy from the soc thread just so I can get your reddit name (without you being spammed by guys from here) so that if I ever need any advice straight from a girl herself about stuff (like what to say in response to this text) or whatever then I could ask you?
>>23240589
I don't have a reddit account I could make one if needed though. I try to be a nice person. Otherwise do you have tumblr? I often use that for advice from random people throughout the internet.
>>23240615
Tumblrs fucking up for me, can make an account but cant sign into it dunno why
>>23240664
Maybe verify it? Otherwise the beginning page is screwy. It asks you to sign up rather than log in. In the upper right corner should be an option to log in. Otherwise I am currently trying to think of a badass username for reddit.
>>23240694
Just cant get it to work, sorry, really tried
reddit is easy to sign up for, doesnt even require a confirmation email
infact I dont think it requires an email at all
>>23240734
>Was sad that someone had the username that I always use
>Plugged in my usual password because why not
And that's the story of how I had a reddit account and forgot about it
>>23240754
so whats your reddit name
>>23240775
I posted in the thread but it's Epileptickitten
>>23240785
oh shit sorry I wasnt monitoring it
Hope you dont get spammed by people lol
Sent you a message, gotta go to sleep now, thanks for everything
>>23240806
No prob anytime!
