Time for a virgin thread. Let's talk about why you haven't had sex yet. Post age, reason why, and anything else you want to talk about relating to the issue.
I'm male, 21, just bad with people all around. No real friends and a bad relationship with my family. Every girl I've asked out turned me down and I don't think any ever showed interest in me. It bothers me because I don't really understand why as well as I want something serious and want to have kids one day and I'm afraid I'll never find someone to do that with.
>>23013793
I feel you. 18-year-old female here. I moved to a new town about four years ago and haven't made any real connections or friends since. I just finished my first semester in college and the entire time I only made small talk. I just got out of my first relationship with a guy who wanted to go super fast, and I know I could have had sex then, but I have different values, children, marriage, etc. I'm more long term than casual. I guess I'm just too shy and awkward and anxious to approach anyone.
>>23013846
Yeah, I definitely feel anxious about approaching people. I don't even know what I'm supposed to say and I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing because that's all I've ever managed to do before. And I moved here about 2 years ago and i dont have any friends either. I guess its hard since youre coming in to an area where other people have lived there whole lives and already have their groups and friends so its hard to integrate.
>>23013870
Definitely. My mom grew up here and it comes so naturally to her to say hi to everyone she sees. It makes me cringe just thinking about trying to talk to someone new, like what am I supposed to say? I always think I'm gonna fuck it up. I think it's just my nerves that always get the best of me, because what's really going to happen, they're going to say "sorry I don't want to talk to you" and move on? I always picture it being a lot worse than it probably ever will be lol.
>>23013896
I think I have that problem too. Where the possible outcome in my mind is far worse than what would happen in real life. I think realistically most people get nervous trying to make friends and meet new people. But I guess people like us just listen to our heads more and are afraid to put forth the effort to make anything out of it. But having been rejected by so many people so many times I just don't see the point in it either, but maybe thats just an excuse.
>>23013846
>I have different values, children, marriage, etc
Wife material right here
19, bullied when i was 5 and grew social anxiety and depression, along having aspergers and adhd. Didnt talk much and after i got rid of depression i was also in uni, while everybody is talking and having friends in the cafeteria, i sit and either watch hitler speeches or read philosophical related materials so yeah, essentially cannot talk to anyone, dont have friends and became a shutin.
>>23013928
I guess it's something you have to experiment with and try your best to overcome. Low self esteem and anxiety can really fuck you up. I know in my heart how I want something to turn out but my brain always tells me why it won't work and all the possible horrible outcomes and I just forget about even saying anything to someone I was about to approach. I mean we're still young, there are people who stay virgins til marriage for their religion and don't get married til their late 20s, so we've got plenty of time. It's all about getting over that hurdle and telling yourself that you want something and don't care how afraid you are of not getting it. A good relationship is pretty hard to come by these days.
22m, get anxious about going out so stay in a lot and read or watch a movie. My mother made fun of me when I was 15 saying this girl I was with never fucked me, we split because distance. I'm not sure if that's what made me lose confidence around girls as it kinda got to me lel, or if I'm just a loser in eternal regret about not losing my virginity mutually when I had the chance
>>23013953
That sounds like the path I'm heading down. I too like Hitler speeches and philosophy, and I also isolate myself, though not necessarily on purpose. How did you get rid of your depression?
>>23013960
Yeah, I've struggled with stuff like that since I was really young. I don't really know how to get out of it now. And I guess I have to be more outgoing or something but I want a good, real relationship. And to me that kinda means I shouldn't have to be someone I'm not and do things I wouldn't normally do. I feel like there's supposed to be someone out there for me. Maybe I'm wrong though. I'd like to know so I can work on whatever I need to work on.
>>23013934
I just think sex would be a million times better if you care about them and see them in your future. I don't want to sleep with someone who isn't interested in being committed to me and his children someday. Relationships are a lot healthier that way imo. That's not everyone's cup of tea though.
>>23013953
Sounds pretty rough :/ I wish you the best of luck in the future. There are some people out there for you who are interested in what you are, it's just going to be a bitch trying to find them. Overcoming anxiety is almost impossible but once you figure out how to work through it, it might be easier for you to join in convos or something.
24
Live in a small town with low quality women
Dating sites don't have much better options
I have high standards
Only interested in serious relationships.
>>23014002
>My mother made fun of me when I was 15 saying this girl I was with never fucked me
That sounds horrible and would definitely affect my self esteem. What a bad thing for a parent to say to their child. First it's just hurtful, but it also has this implication that you were supposed to have sex and that it's a "normal" thing to do and that you fucked up by not doing it. Sorry man.
>>23014017
i didnt acually get rid of it, i made myself to live very rationally through logic, and disregarding emotions much as possible. then soon i just kinda forgot what depression was
>>23014022
cheers lad
>>23014002
Staying in feels so goddamn good. Some days I wonder if I'd prefer to be alone just so I could do whatever I want in privacy, but then I think there might be someone who might enjoy doing it with me. Also parents who do that shit to their kids are children themselves, I've been through it before.
>>23014017
That's true. Sometimes I push myself to be a different person to be liked and I hate it. I have a certain amount of confidence in myself and I think there's someone out there for me. It's pretty shitty looking for them though. I've always been the one asking people out and mostly getting rejected. I've never been asked out before.
>>23014022
>I just think sex would be a million times better if you care about them and see them in your future.
Can't agree more. I don't understand most people's need for casual sex and superficial relationships.
>Staying in feels so goddamn good.
Sometimes it does. I like being alone but eventually it gets boring and lonely and hurts when you want to spend time with people but have nobody to do it with.
> I've always been the one asking people out and mostly getting rejected. I've never been asked out before.
Same. I've asked out a few girls who I really liked and they all said no. Nobody ever asked me out or showed any interest in me, and if they did I was too socially inept to figure it out. Sometimes I feel like people think it's a sort of game and I feel out of place for taking things like this seriously.
I'm 25 and I lost it a couple of months ago
We only did it once and a month later we were no longer on speaking terms
I still feel like a virgin
>>23014094
If you're in SF I'd love to suck your semi-virgin cock before sliding it into my virgin-sucking musk hole
Male, age 18.
I always get nervous talking to new people, which is something that didn't happen until the 8th grade.
It's not as bad as it used to be, but I feel like I could have had a few moments in the past.
>>23014081
If a guy ever asks me for nudes or starts pushing too fast, that's when I know I'm probably going to have a problem. I've had dudes on snapchat sending me dick pics 24/7 and it got so annoying I deleted it off my phone.
I was shut into my room for a while, so I got used to being alone. I'd say I'm pretty introverted. But since I started college I've been craving more human interaction, I just tend to give up on figuring out how to get it.
If people ever wanted to ask me out they probably had the same personality I have and are just overthinking it too much. I'm not a huge fan of people who try to get you to know how they feel without actually telling you.
>>23014103
Vancouver, unfortunately.
I'm still very hurt so I'm not sure I could put the moves on anyone else for that matter but thank you.
>>23014027
Ayyy I live in the shittiest, crime filled town ever, I feel your pain. And online dating is a huge hit or miss, I tried okcupid and it sucked.
>>23014115
Damn, middle school 7th-8th grade pretty much did it for me too. Anxiety/nervousness is the shittiest thing on earth.
>>23014094
I think about this a lot; if I only had sex once or twice with someone that didn't last, what would it feel like? I think it'd feel terrible to have it for such a short amount of time then lose it and have it all mean nothing.
>>23014115
8th grade is when it started getting bad for me too. Was also when my mental issues got too heavy and I started using drugs. Probably a connection between all of this stuff.
>>23014125
Honestly I wish I had girls doing that to me. Not that I would get with any of them but just so I would know I'm sexually attractive to someone and to feel wanted and needed.
I'm introverted too, always have been. But yeah I've been craving people lately. And being alone all the time in my past didn't help me make friends for the present. And yeah I wish people would be communicate their feelings more but I'm not good at it either so can I really blame them?
>23014028
>>23014049
Hey thanks, I've always been a bit apprwhensive/embarrassed about it but thank you for your reply.
As for being alone, it can be really great instead if going out. Getting work done, chilling solo etc. For me, I used to be quite social so felt a bit like I was missing out on things like clubbing, but its really what you make of it. Balancing etc.
Seeing this thread tho (first /soc visit ha) is relieving that others, even of the other sex are like me to some extent. I hope you guys get what it is you're after, because anxiety and depression is a real bastard sometimes.
Alcohol helps if anyone else is cautious about going to a club at uni ;) Its a miracle cure for dance floor anxiety. Took me almost two years to belive it
>>23014164
Yeah, Okc doesn't have a lot of good women, and all the girls around my area are hyperreligious single mother skanks who smoke and are covered in tattoos and spray tans.
20/m/aus kissless virgin
Average looks, 0 confidence
You do the maths.
Nigga I haven't even had a kiss or a relationship
25m
Dateless, kissless and handholdless, my last hug was in 2006; from a girl who heard I had no friends.
28 male UK
Fact is there are other guys that women like much more than me, I understand that, I'm the bottom of the line and they'd prefer Chad over the likes of a manchild such as myself.
Should I change myself to establish a relationship with a shallow person? Probably. But I don't wanna.
Being physically unattractive, and I actually mean really ugly according to most women on tinder. Rather not give my age.
25/M/Socal
I'm just not an attractive dude I guess. Largely my fault though, just to fat I guess. But you can only bang your head into the wall so many times, rejection after rejection, before you stop trying, and then that only further compounds your crippling shyness. Sometimes I feel like there are just some of us who are destined to be alone.
25 male here.
Why? Because I am mentally ill.
I'm not a social retard. Average looking. Great job. Not too much of an asshole. Can make friends easily. Can make people laugh. Can handle flirting with the pretty women that approach me now and then.
And it is all wasted on me, because between being borderline and clinically depressed, I'm terrified of intimacy and have serious trust issues. Even if there was a wonderful girl that could accept me for the mess I am, I would never even allow her to get close enough in the first place.
I've basically turned and ran from multiple chances to lose my virginity purely because I was afraid of becoming emotionally invested in another person's life, or vice versa. Yes, I basically assume every chance at sex results in a life long relationship. I told you I am a mentally ill virgin at the start.
22, almost 23.
I'm not really sure if I just like being alone, if I'm bad with reading people, if I say the wrong right things to fit in or if I look too different in a crowd.
There's things also like not being able to hear anyone in bars. So, can't even really see how people even communicate between each other in that situation. Stupid social shit like that, that I over think.
>>23013793
>Post age,
18
reason why,
Next to no social skills, lack of motivation to socialize with others, 4/10 looks, etc.
and anything else you want to talk about relating to the issue.
I could go on a PUA-tier rant, but I think I'll hold on to that.
I've noticed that everyone has high standards and now social skills.
be specific or something, because doubt on standards
30/M
For a long time I struggled with self-confidence. I never felt confident with myself and always told myself I was a piece of shit. I was short, skinny, and very awkward as a kid, and git bullied a lot as a result. My parents had a shitty marriage and neither of them did anything to prepare me for adulthood, both job/relationship-wise. It still baffles me that parents are supposed to love each other.
I was in grad school for a couple of years, but dropped out for various reasons, and now I will be 31 in a short while, live with my mom, and work 2 low paying jobs that eat up most of my time and leave me with no motivation to do anything. I don't see any reason why anyone would ever date me, and I do not have the desire or skill set (for lack of a better term) to have a one night stand. So here I am, a vestige of 4chan from the mid 2000s bitching how I'm a virgin, but I've made all the wrong choices in my life and I will never deserve to lose it. NEETdom and then suicide are on the horizon.
If you've read this far, thanks.
>>23015056
>no social skills.
As in I never really learned how to talk to people. I can make some small talk on niche subjects your average Joe couldn't give a dick about, much less your average woman, and I usually avoid putting myself in that situation because it just feels so forced.
Most of my "social life" was spent being the third wheel with a group of trailer trash girls who probably only kept me around out of pity, and literal memelord stoners later on. In between that, I got beat up at school because of my autistic ass tendencies and rarely stood up for myself out of fear of reprehension from the school.
>>23013846
>children,marriage etc
NEW ZEALAND
E
W
Z
E
A
L
A
N
D
Srsly tho,pls be in hastings
>>23015075
Damn son,you're in a bad way.
Demisexual so I just don't want it unless I'm in a relationship and feel that connection.
24 Year Old Male, 6'5", 155lbs
>>23015173
I live in central Illinois, just put me out of my misery
I still feel like a virgin, if it weren't for that craigslist hookup I would still be a virgin. I'm not physically a virgin but mentally I still feel like it.
Is that possible anons?
>>23017186
I'm a virgin but I'm assuming that losing it won't change much. I don't expect it to, just want to cross it off my mental checklist.
Anyone in the Tulsa Oklahoma area who is a virgin and wants a first time?
27, white, female, 5'4, 120lbs.
>>23013793
I fap too much which kills my libido. That, coupled with general fear of intimacy means I am still a virgin at 23.
>>23015173
P A L M Y
A
L
M
Y
>>23017186
Yes. I fuck hookers on a relative bi-monthly basis and i zero experience with actual women.
I consider myself as much of a virgin as anyone here.
24/M btw
I live in a relatively remote place with no real friends to speak of and no social skills. You can barely find anyone here that enjoys fucking STAR WARS let alone anything the fuck else that i can talk about.
>>23017556
No offense but you're not a virgin if you sleep with hookers or causal hook-ups.
>>23017581
No. Just hookers. I can't fucking find casual hook-ups here.
Prostitutes are no better than actual mechanical fuck toys with DESIGNATED POSITIONS ONLY!
Guy, 22. Spent most of my childhood and teens as a sort of outcast. I still sort of am. I am sociable and can easily get along with people, but I don't want to go around having casual sex nor anything of the sort. I just want to be with someone special to whom I'm special as well. So far I haven't had much luck, with my only romantic relationship, initiated by the girl, having lasted only 2 or 3 months. I've had two crushes besides that girl, one before and one after, and I felt crippling anxiety as soon as I realised I was starting to like them. Start feeling like shit whenever I'm around them and dreaming constantly about them. Then feel like shit even when I'm far from them. Worst of all, I can't even bring myself to talk to them about how I feel, because I know they don't feel the same and that they wouldn't want a depressive mess to bring them down.
19/M , kissless virgin. Even if I am taller than average and I can talk to people I just don't know why a girl would want to have sex with me.
I am not interesting, popular or particularly attractive, I consider myself a 7/10 on a good day.
I don't meet many girls and I don't have the courage to just go to talk to a random girl, I am too afraid of being rejected and I don't even know how to have an interesting talk with girls.
I feel that every day it gets worse but I just can't get out of this, also my friends are in the same situation as me so I am basically alone.
>>23017593
I still wouldn't consider you a virgin like at all.
>>23014846
You look good.
>>23015002
Treatment (drugs, therapy) really helps, don't give yourself up.
>>23017641
Okay then. Wouldn't mind coming over so you can at the very least, give me my first kiss so i can completely transition out of virgin status in your eyes but unfortunately, i'm nowhere near.
>>23015075
Maybe you have depression. Check that up and then just start a talk with some female coworkers or join a class or something.
21 male. A Virgin because i never dated or tried to date. I was not social and interested in girls most of the time.
>>23015569
> Demisexual
Huh, learned a new thing, thanks.
>>23017216
Yeah I made a post in here after it happened. Losing it probably won't change much at all (unless it's with someone you're really close/connected with, but I don't know that for sure, who knows). Other things have the ability to change your life much much more. Losing your v-card doesn't change yourself, you do.
>>23017556
I feel you man. I have experience with women but none sexually other than the craigslist hookup. I just feel like I want to get out there and meet them in real life. I would have felt super bad losing it to a hooker to be honest. At least my craigslist hookup said she wanted to do it again, so there's that I guess as a boost of confidence. But I just want to meet a girl in real life, have normal conversations, maybe get a girlfriend, be a normal dude you know?
Anyways, sorry for hijacking your thread virgos, I used to post in here a lot. We're all gonna be okay I promise <3
>>23017669
You never met a hooker you trusted enough to kiss?
Male
20
I'm fucking ugly and self-conscious.
>>23017699
No. And even if i did, they don't allow it.
>>23017727
You need to pay extra yes?
25 years old, can't really say that I am ugly. just about average.
>never had gf
>tried only once, it was disaster
>scared of rejection
>introvert
>submissive
>>23017732
Yes but you need to understand that i'm not talking about escorts. I'm referring to actual hookers in red light districts here.
>>23017690
I would LOVE the opportunity to find a craigslist hookup. Too bad there's no one around here.
Hope everything goes well anon.
>We're all gonna be okay I promise
I'll keep you to that promise.
24 year old guy. Never really understood the whole 'dating scene" thing. its not like I can meet girls though friends ether because most of my friends are dudes that are just as out of the loop as I am, except they all somehow still randomly get laid. think the last time I had a girlfriend was my freshmen year of high school, so nearly a decade ago. I will admit though that since i turned 21 it feels like part of me has given up trying, wouldn't even know where or how to meet girls because I'm an awkward fuck. not at all looking for pity, I guess just writing it out helps me think it though a little better.
>>23017745
Why did you decide to pay for sex with hookers like that instead of just staying a virgin?
>>23017806
Desperation. And to satisfy my libido.
I don't regret the act itself. I just curse the fact that i haven't been able to find a relationship or even a one night stand regardless.
>>23013793
Okay, here's my profile.
>Male.
>21.
>Because I'm a beta loner and I'm working hard to make myself an alpha before I even try. Good news is, at my current rate, I'll be there in a few months. My gains are quite epic right now.
>Reason 2: because I don't really want to sleep with random women. I want someone I can be in a relationship that contains no bullshit and is with a fantastic woman who wants to be with me for a long ass time. And because I've found that woman, but I can't afford to go and see her yet. Fuck the internet.
>>23017847
That sucks because it's a little worse than being a virgin. You aren't a virgin so you wouldn't appeal to someone like me who likes that and yet you probably don't have the same technical experience a experienced guy would have.
So it's kind of like you have no skills but one still would have to worry that you'd have stds.
I'd prob get turned off by whatever vibes you give before even kissing.
>>23017961
>I'd prob get turned off by whatever vibes you give before even kissing.
And what vibe would that be?
And wouldn't it also be hypocritical to claim that one that would go with me should worry about STDs when you were the one that's advertising herself as an easy fuck on an anonymous board?
Least with the system here, i know for a fact that the hookers i've gone to go through mandatory weekly checkups due to the country's strict health policy on them.
>>23017681
Yea no problem.
>>23018067
The vibe I already described, not being good at sex but not being a virgin either.
Lol I'm a virgin, btw.
>>23018117
>not being good at sex but not being a virgin either.
But if i hadn't revealed this information, how could you tell?
>>23018132
everyone who ever had a sex can tell who is virgin and who is not. that is just fact, don't ask me how they do it they just do.
>>23018146
>that is just fact, don't ask me how they do it they just do.
Fair enough.
>>23018146
>everyone who ever had a sex can tell who is virgin and who is not
She just admitted that she's a virgin herself. So how would that even apply?
>>23018132
I probably could tell by how you behave.
>>23018146
No girls can tell how thirsty and nervous a guy is and for what.
For me personally if a guy hits on me first, if it's sexual in anyway he's not a virgin and probably way too outgoing for me. I also can tell by what they are most interested in in conversations and such. When I flirt if I get certain reactions I know what they are interested in and if they are a virgin. Basically any guy who shows any sexual interest is too intimidating to me. But its okay if I show sexual interest. I gauge their reaction to tell.
>>23018163
>So how would that even apply?
I'm 27 and I've had guys hitting on me since I was 13 or younger.
>>23018163
sorry I didn't read that message. this was just my subjective opinion on this matter. I mean to me it really feels like those people know something you do not. I consider myself really empathetic but maybe I am completely wrong and it is just my subconsciousness fucking around with me.
>>23018205
>those people
You mean people who have had sex? Because I doubt it. The mechanical function alone doesn't mean very much.
But if you mean people who have been in long term relationships they prob know more about what they want.
>>23018230
ye something like that. people that managed to have sex the old fashioned way not by shortcuts like hookers or craigslist.
>>23018246
Well men who have, since I know that I get made offers and juts decline.But funny thing is I'd like to find someone to do the offering to.
>>23018187
>I probably could tell by how you behave.
>For me personally if a guy hits on me first, if it's sexual in anyway he's not a virgin and probably way too outgoing for me. I also can tell by what they are most interested in in conversations and such.
You're in luck then cause i'm a socially awkward idiot with self zero self confidence that couldn't hit on you even if my life was on the line. If that's your barometer on discovering who is a bona fide virgin, then call me
Ishmael because you couldn't get a lock on my personality or sexual advances(or lack thereof) no matter how hard you looked.
>>23018205
>subjective opinion
On an unrelated note, calling an opinion "subjective" is entirely because opinions are already subjective views on a given subject.
Otherwise, >>23018230
is correct.
>>23018257
>You're in luck then cause i'm a socially awkward idiot with self zero self confidence that couldn't hit on you even if my life was on the line. If that's your barometer on discovering who is a bona fide virgin, then call me
>Ishmael because you couldn't get a lock on my personality or sexual advances(or lack thereof) no matter how hard you looked.
I've never been wrong before. It's all about how you interact in real life.
>>23018260
>I've never been wrong before
First time for everything.
>>23018260
It's not just about self confidence, it's about where your eyes look, everything especially small things you don't know you do.
I only prefer a virgin because to me it indicates a certain kind of self confidence, that they don't care what superficial people think. Also indicates self discipline over their baser instincts. To control their desires. And this is for someone normal who was probably offered sex in their teenage years. Not just some really pathetic thirsty virgin. I see it as a strength not a weakness.
ugly
>>23018270
>with self zero self confidence that couldn't hit on you even if my life was on the line
You probably come off as creepy and desperate. In that case it doesn't matter if you are a virgin or not because you are already undesirable.
>>23018275
>And this is for someone normal who was probably offered sex in their teenage years. Not just some really pathetic thirsty virgin.
an year ago I was hit on by a girl on a gig. that was probably the only time on my life. we just talked, she was really nice to me, complimenting almost anything I said etc. I realized that 2 days later and my friends just confirmed that as well. even if I knew I would not go with her because it would be way too fast and out of my control. my personality avoids anything that is out of my control.
what does that make me?
I mean without OCPD only thing that would be concerning me would be fact that I do not have condom in my pocket and that I do not waste my first time on some cheap girl in public bathroom or what ever.
>>23018275
>I only prefer a virgin because to me it indicates a certain kind of self confidence, that they don't care what superficial people think
.>Also indicates self discipline over their baser instincts. To control their desires.
Virgins, the majority of male that is, aren't virgins because of choice. They're virgins because they never found anyone to share an emotional connection that is also willing to let them explore a part of themselves that would otherwise be considered private.
>And this is for someone normal who was probably offered sex in their teenage years. Not just some really pathetic thirsty virgin. I see it as a strength not a weakness.
This is horseshit and deep down, you know it.
I am desperate but at least im honest about such things. I don't dress up my inability to have a relationship-even a purely sexual one- as some attempt at purification or strength of will. It's due to my own weaknesses, plain and simple.
As opposed to advertising oneself as an easy lay, while also being a virgin herself, to satisfy your own fetishes.
I'd go on but your post is so cringe-inducing i don't have the time nor the stomach for it and all it does is paint you as ugly as possibly. A person who i would have no desire to be talk to, let alone fuck.
There's a word for when something is as ugly as it shallow and believe it or not, it's not Kardashian. But it is synonymous with Kardashian and that word is irredeemable.
>>23018357
>I am desperate but at least im honest about such things. I don't dress up my inability to have a relationship-even a purely sexual one- as some attempt at purification or strength of will. It's due to my own weaknesses, plain and simple.
At least you admit that and that's a lot more disciplined seeming that insecure superficial 'alpha males'. It doesn't have to be based off denying sex but more like you are describing just being honest with people.
>>23018457
Most guys aren't honest like that, or admit they want to have feelings and emotions over physical pleasure. The aspect of sex it's self has little to do with it. Just that virgins look more respectable automatically because of what I described.
22/M
Briefly dated a girl who was in my friend group about 2 years ago who really wanted to do it but I broke it off because I realised I was only with her because she was the only person to ever have shown interest in me, she was the one who asked me out. I also didn't want to mess up the friend group but it was too late. Ended up losing all those friends so for the last year I've been friendless at college with no way of meeting new people since I have no drinking buddies now.
I have this thing called marfans syndrome and one of main symptoms I experience is extreme fatigue so I never have the energy to go do anything. Which means I don't have anything interesting to talk about to help with making new friends.
