since there are no threads up to stroke my ego, i'll make one.
here I am, the illustrious David. giant dildo collector, homo supreme and supreme homo, etc etc.
sup bro #1 fan reporting in
>>23006713
This one fucking sucks Dave threads are about originality and a good wholesome laugh, not typical shitpost like this shit
2/10
>>23006717
you fucking dipshit I'm my number one fan
>>23006729
only I can post rates of dave threads, I am the arbiter of dave quality.
>>23006736
shut up faggot go sort your vest collection, and then rail yourself with a black dildo
>>23006747
maybe I will you cuntgobbler
>>23006742
This one is gay
I made the two yesterday but now im no longer a dave fan
>back2liz
>>23006761
What a coincidence that yours were both utter trash
you don't deserve to be a dave fan
>>23006759
is that a bad thing? being a cuntgobbler?
lol i wanna gobble some sloppy cunts.
>>23006761
ur an fag
>>23006781
nah you're the kind of guy who literally tries to eat a woman's vagina like you bite into it and draw blood it's weird
>>23006774
they were lacking, the other 2 were priceless, i cant wait for that guy to continue
>>23006801
same really
>>23006800
yawn
>>23006805
also my oc pic
>>23006801
Im gooing back to liz fuck dave
>>23006798
yea i usually go for the masochists
>>23006808
i personally liked the first one better but the second one the line
>i politely inquired why all these straight people were trying to show stuff up my ass
i lost it im still laughing about it now.
>>23006815
>this pic that has been on the internet for years is my oc
????
>>23006805
>>23006800
these really arent creative anymore, if you wanna shitpost u's gonna have to do better than that
>>23006815
Excellent choice, it fits him better than Homer. And Homer was pretty apt.
>>23006843
He means it was his oc connecting it to you probably.
>>23006916
>>23006995
^^^^^^^^^^
like, please, can we move past this? can we all resolve to be a little more creative when trying to assault the character of the most high?
Craterface looks kind of fishy to me
>>23007187
mate i just made a post about this come on now
>>23007187
Nah, he's more a monkey. Albeit one with a terrible hairline
>>23007187
>>23007232
i have to say out of all the picture jokes this is my favorite though, because of how sloppy it is.
>>23007248
eh
Will the real craterface please stand up, I repeat will the real craterface please stand up
>>23007371
i smiled, getting more original, but you guys can do better.
Thought you ragequit soc because people wouldn't stop making fun of your weird face and bad hairline?
this guy has the most hate-able and punchable face
>>23007501
he came back because even though he got pissed he doesnt give up
>>23007601
you are so mad that he is better looking than you
>>23007501
there wasn't much rage there really
anyway I've amended it to not getting into multi reply arguments with children bc i do not take my promises to 4chan as seriously as you think I should
>>23007371
dale please go
>>23007721
Nah, you definitely ragequit
>>23007863
>someone posted something on the internet that wasnt true
so youre what? 12 years old?
>>23007863
if me leaving the room because a fly is annoying the shit out of me is ragequitting, then yeah I ragequit
can't wait to see your retarded reply to this that i'm not going to respond to
I'd like to hear more about this giant dildo collection. Are we talking a giant collection of dildos or a collection of giant dildos?
>>23007938
yes
>>23007945
If you mean to say you have a giant collection of giant dildos, I am intrigued and also curious about your definition of "giant."
>>23007964
what a faggot, hes curious about the dildo collection. why? want to know which ones you should ask to get for christmas?
>>23008244
The way you ride craterface, he doesn't need any dildo. Damn man, have some self respect
>>23007964
Poor naive baby.
I'm a woman and I buy my own fucking toys. I'm interested in his collection because I'm always interested in adding to my own toy collection. And also because if I know what toys he likes, I can better imagine using them to play with him.
>>23008323
im not gay bro. i respect davids choice to use dildos but i cant say i partake in any homoerotic activities.
making it too hard to troll him?
come back with some good material faggot and then well talk.
>>23008339
youre a dumbass if were on the same side dont come at me. i thought you were trolling.
>>23008369
The fuck? Sides? Is this kindergarten?
>>23008399
its the david loyalists vs the unfunny faghots
tri harder
ahhh feels good to own this thread
since nothings happening im collecting rare davids btw.
That includes both pictures and stories
>>23008415
>>23008954
>>23009348
Whoever you are, you have somehow managed to be a sadder person than even David
>>23009528
this is the best you can do?
well i have to admit i laughed so finally something funny happens.
it didnt phase me at all. since youre more pathetic than david also.
david reins supreme
>king of soc
>>23006713
>>23006717
>>23006729
>>23006736
>>23006742
>>23006747
>>23006759
>>23006761
>>23006774
>>23006781
>>23006798
>>23006800
>>23006801
>>23006805
>>23006808
>>23006815
>>23006826
>>23006843
>>23006916
>>23006995
>>23007108
>>23007187
>>23007232
>>23007248
>>23007261
>>23007371
>>23007379
>>23007501
>>23007601
>>23007651
>>23007721
>>23007863
>>23007876
>>23007912
>>23007938
>>23007945
>>23007964
>>23008244
>>23008323
>>23008339
>>23008352
>>23008369
>>23008399
>>23008415
>>23008954
>>23009348
>>23009528
>>23009565
>>23009590
lmao actually took the time to do this.
eh its ok
you get 5/10 mostly for effort, pic is kind of funny when you consider that the thread is basically that.
>>23009612
uh oh mis-clicked one >>23007501
but im not a dickhead thanks
>>23009620
>>23009642
so i just re-read the thread and was laughing at most of it. its too funny.
>>23008339
>>23007964
it's a joke really
though, I think i'd really enjoy what you're talking about. i've never been pegged, I'm a virgin, but yeah.
>>23009687
yo bro
>>23009656
>>23009830
>>23009656
>>23009620
You are a sad sack of shit who is not so secretly gay for David. Notice how he's ignoring you? You're actually making him look worse than he already does. A commendable feat, to be sure.
>>23010242
>actually worth replying to thread
>>23010262
>>23010206
i fucking laughed at this.
finally were getting some good shit in here.
although instead of roasting me you should focus on david
David, is it real that you got in a fight in a sexshop trying to buy their fire extinguisher thinking it was a dildo?
>>23010310
>>23010262
>>23010206
lmao im starting to kek hard
>>23010300
You're currently more worthy of ridicule. Doesn't the fact that David himself is ignoring you tell you anything?
>>23010350
nah thats just cause hes a busy guy and you know hes fighting off all the ladies. hell get back to me when he can its cool.
me and him are bros and davids motto is hoes before bros but i understand.
when youre such a stud it must be hard to keep priorities in check.
>>23010350
who am I ignoring???
>>23010310
no I thought it was a buttplug and they advised me that it did not have a flared base
>>23010556
why youre number 1 fan of course, or i suppose its number 2 since you are youre own biggest fan.
its ok though like i said before we know youre out there slaying pussy so if you dont get around to a response its cool.
and yea you gotta watch out when lookin for buttplugs/dildos. they leave those fire extinguishers out so all the anal gapers get confused
>>23010785
no they do it for fire safety and by attempting to remove it from the store i was endangering everyone i am very sorry
OP needs to fuck off and die in a fire. Seriously, you're ugly and dont deserve the beautiful gift called life.
>>23011295
His hairline looks like he survived a fire, does that count?
>>23011339
yeh i bet you say the same thing about johnny depp
seriously the number of people on here who skipped the day they covered genetics in middle school biology and don't know what a widow's peak is is astounding
>can someone make a real dave thread?
You guys act like "Dave threads" get to me when in reality they actually make me stronger and give me energy to grow my aura. With each thread I see my ego softens and my mind humbles. I spread positive energy with the people of /soc/ in mind, so that one day you all can be met with the same tranquil existence as I. Sure I randomly get called "crater face" or am asked the question "is your bitch a model?" but I remain optimistic that at the end of the day, the negativity at my expense helps you blossom along in your journey and beat the burden that has caused you to poke fun at your fellow brothers. As I sit here typing this with the soft sound of my humidifier delicately moistening the cold winter air I feel truly honored and inspired to be the comfort to your criticism, so please laugh, poke your fun, but keep in mind you are enlightening my tunnel that has been in the abyss for far to long. I hope my short explanation has enlightened you on my situation and encouraged a brotherly concern for each and one another. I better check out now as I still have to find a unique Christmas card for my pen pal and time is against me (Not literally I am becoming one with the forces of the universe) until next time friends-postcards from Dave.
>>23011295
As much as OP looking like a middle aged accountant, and posing like a Cat Girl makes me cringe, i think that's a bit far.
It just needs to stay away from the internet.
>>23011643
>posing like a cat girl
>>23011630
You just unironically compared your balding, terrible hairline to Johnny Depp? You're pretty fucking stupid yourself. You've got a receding hairline, not a widows peak, and only a moron would think it looks good.
You're like a less attractive Brandon. Fuck off dude.
>>23011920
yes I'm sure johnny also had a clear receding hairline in this picture which is why he is bald now
now that i've established that you're a total dipshit you'll have to say something funny to get me to respond to you
>>23011950
you're like a less attractive ghost bc i can't see you but you are very rude
>>23010950
what about the girls? how are they? and we know thats why they have fire extinguishers, i was giving a kindly explaination on how you could confuse the two.
>>23011295
4/10
>>23011339
5/10
>>23011630
youre much better looking than johnny bro, dont worry at all.
>>23011640
why?
>>23011643
6/10 better
>>23011670
sexy pic
>>23011950
naw brandon is a pussy david is masculine the pinnacle of manliness the peak of the male form. you know he hits the gym look at him plus hes like 6'2. theres no stopping this poon slayer, when hes on the prowl girls drop their panties just to stand next to him. you have no idea who you are up against
>>23012059
5/10
>>23012869
Lmao. Your post made me cringe hardcore. Did you chop off your balls and FedEx them to OP or something. Goddamn man. If stupidity were catching, we'd all be retards after reading your posts. R9K must be missing you pretty bad.
dafuq is going here
>>23012933
why would you assume i go on r9k? i only soc.
hmm
4/10
slightly funny, but not terribly.
>>23012956
2/10 read the thread
>>23012956
David also known a craterface, a shitposter, is being an attention whore as usual. From the looks of it, he's attempting once again to defend his receding hairline, and now appears to be convinced he is attractive as Johnny Depp. This other guy has taken to sucking off David every chance he gets and denies his obvious crush on the on the guy.
Honestly the two should just fuck each other and get it over with.
>>23012986
i told you im straight i just realize how great david is and how much he helps this board.
maybe youll realize he not what soc wants, hes what soc needs
6.5/10
>>23012986
>I am literally blind and can't see johnny depp's hairline
>or I am so stupid that I can't draw the connection between no one mentioning it ever and it being a complete nonissue
fuck you for making me reply
>>23013026
3/10
>>23013026
Hilarious, haha. You get incredibly butthurt whenever someone points out your shitty hairline. Proves it's a sensitive subject. If someone were to call you fat, you'd laugh it off because it's obviously not true. You clearly recognize how bad it is or you wouldn't react so viciously.
>>23013066
7/10
im liking
>>23013026
You can practically taste the salt from this post.
>Mommy says I'm very handsome and have great hair so it must be true
There's definitely doubt in your mind the way this is such a hot button issue for you. You ignore or shrug off the Homer and Gollum posts, but someone touches on the subject of your receding hairline and you go full damage control. Comparing yourself to Depp is absolutely laughable. Gonna ragequit soc again? You did before when people laughed at your balding ass
>>23013125
7.5/10
its starting to get hot in here. step on the gas
illiterates gonna illiterate
>>23013760
Bitches gonna bitch
>>23013760
not only is david the best looking poster on soc, hes also the smartest. nobody matches his wit and cunning intellect.
>>23013895
Are you trying to convince someone that you're a weird looking faggot with bad hair?
>>23013935
oooo what was this? post got deleted???
>>23014012
Anon wanted craterface to pose for them with a timestamp and name so they could "trick someone"
>>23014035
kek well thats cause they wanted to get nudes obviously. send a picture of david and you get insta-tits/vag + possible relationship.
>>23014044
More like insta blocked or insta cops called on your ass
>>23014083
laughed
7/10
people are starting to pull out the good stuff now.
>>23014044
You've been riding Craterfaces dick so hard this thread that I don't think either of you count as virgins anymore.
>>23014114
>>23014114
Disgusting. I'm sure his one man fan club here is stroking himself to that though.
>>23014133
6/10
>>23014146
rekt i laughed hard
9/10
that gif is disgusting tho
are these pics someone saved? whats the story?
Happy Fapping!
these arent funny theyre just gross and pathetic.
Even ol' craterface's shitty choice of fashion is better than him naked. Disgusting man. To be fair though, his mom probably dresses him and picks out his clothes.
>>23014419
lol 7/10
>>23014419
He needs a different nickname, craterface is for people with acne. He just has a weird face shape.
>>23014447
Da fuck? He's got terrible acne scarring. He claims he's proud of it and calls it his battle scars. He's pockmarked as well as having a weird looking face. Craterface fits him like a glove.
>>23014447
this is too long but hes like the ugly duckling that never turned into a swan/good looking duck
>>23014467
kek
>>23014114
>>23014289
>>23014309
>>23014309
>>23014331
>>23014346
>>23014351
>>23014355
>>23014357
>>23014372
oh my dear lord merry fucking christmas these made my night hahahahaha rip david you are definitely gay if there was ever a dispute its settled.
>>23014804
lol
6/10
Parody David needs to come back
>>23014852
i agree this is getting stale
cmon lets get some more banter going. are people really bored of this already??
who?
>>23015311
what?
>>23015929
>>23015928
oh look you found literal actual cp of me
i was 16 in these :)
You are one weird, ugly looking dude OP. With shit hair to boot. Sorry for the cards you drew.
This guy is disgusting to look at. Why are we subjected to seeingseeing him?
why has no one ever said this guy looks EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY like the jewish person Ben Stiller??
>>23014114
Very HOT seeing you stroking your cock! nice homo is storking nice! MOAR! Don't let the trolls tell you different. Lets see you naked more please!
>>23014289
You have a spankable bare butt to!
>>23016319
Craterface looks nothing like Ben Stiller. What are you smoking?
Alright, so I didn't believe the stories of you being trapped in the closet before, but after seeing that shit, you're obviously a flaming faggot in heavy denial.
>>23016319
>>23016331
it's my forehead, jaw, and...hairline ;)
funny enough, I've never heard anyone talk about ben's hairline either.
I wonder if it's because literally no one cares except people who take that /fa/ meme a little too seriously
>>23016787
He's got a better hairline than you. Yours is clearly receding. He's 30 or 40 something and you're like 17. Your hairline is shit for youryour age. You'll be balding when you hit his age.
>>23016787
Your acne scarred ruin of a face looks nothing like Ben Stiller. And your hairline is like a balding middle aged dudes.
>>23016912
that picture is from when he was like 20
and, no, his hairline is more or less where mine is. look at the sides.
again, it's called a widow's peak. after this i'm responding to all comments about my hairline in spanish, french, or german depending on my mood, because I'm tired of arguing with children about how their beans will not grow thousand foot stalks and there is no giant in the sky.
>>23016924
>no puedo leer muy bien
>>23016926
More like you're butthurt about your bad genes. You really do have a shitty hairline. Widows peak, my ass.
>>23016936
>Ich habe Schule gehasst
>>23016926
Don't worry that you have a bad hairline. Girls like washed up dad bods, maybe washed up dad faces will be in next. Then maybe you'll actually be able to get laid.
>>23016959
>ich muss meine Unsicherheiten an anderen Leute projizieren
>>23016935
>>23016955
>>23016984
Speaking in tongues is a sign of excessive rage. Calm down, you don't want more hair falling out from stress.
>>23017005
ustedes no me enojan, me molestan.
>>23015928
Idk, I feel like I'd have sex with him.
He looks so strange. Imagine traveling to a different planet and seeing a really sexy alien. It's like that.
>>23017005
también, ¿quién dice eso? no es algo que he oido.
>>23017036
>>23017052
Careful. That hairline can only get so bad before it actually becomes balding.
>>23017039
Lmao. I don't know what planet would consider him sexy though. Maybe one where receding hairlines and buggy eyes are all the rage.
>>23017069
are you american
because if you are and you don't know enough spanish to understand why what you just said to me has me laughing super hard then you're a failure
>>23017094
You've never heard the phrase of hair turning gray and falling out from stress. Probably scientifically invalid, but in your case it would explain your unfortunate hairstyle. Also you said you're annoyed, not angry, but you're full of it.
How does any of that have you laughing? Your middle school conjugation and sentence structure are kind of funny, but aside from that?
What did I stumble across? What meme is this? Who is dave? I'm so lost
I'm a puppy
>>23017341
Craterface is an ugly invader from R9K who is super defensive of his bad hairline and thinks he's the shit.
Bump for another craterface meltdown. This guy has some great meltdowns. Especially when you point out the receding hairline he has and tries to hide.
>>23017175
>middle school conjugation
or, you know, the correct conjugation
sentence structure is a little basic though cause i don't feel like putting in effort really
anyway, the reason I was laughing was because who the fuck says "speaking in tongues is a sign of anger"
like that's just retarded, if anything speaking in tongues is more associated with ecstasy.
>>23017866
>>23017365
pic related
idk how many times i have to say that i'm not sensitive about my hairline for you guys to get it
i point out examples that point to no one caring about my hairline except you because i like seeing you run around in circles for a while but eventually it starts to annoy me how retarded your reasoning is
>>23018159
>>23017175
o and one more thing
dime algo en español, hoy quiero ver un accidente ferroviario
>>23018159
Really showing off your fivehead in that picture. You have a bad hairline, almost everyone in this thread sees it and thinks so. It's high and gives you a larger than normal forehead.
he may be disgusting but he actually has a good body desu senpai
>>23018198
me aburres, vete.
>>23018210
>Ce sentiment quand tu ne parles pas espagnol
>>23018210
No one cares if you're bored or not, you're just in way too much denial about your hairline and it's hilarious. It's objective dude. You have a high hairline. Your forehead is bigger than normal. Those are not conventionally attractive traits.
>>23018203
Paper bag his head and gag his mouth
>>23018236
This guy speaks the truth. Probably cuz he's a baldingcel as well.
OP I'd suggest shaving it off completely and being badass
>>23018228
>Ese sentimiento cuando era un poco <<hubristic>> decir que hablarías en francais
de verdad, entiendo mucho más en francais que puedo expresar.
>>23018254
>tfw deleted all of my shaved head pics
it wasn't even that long ago actually
>>23018228
also I *think* it's "l'espagnol" not just espagnol
Well, this topic went as expected
1. David makes attention seeking thread
2. People call David a closet fag
3. David's fan club appears
4. People insult David's hairline
5. David gets extremely butthurt and switches to typing in other languages.
6. Possibly another declaration of leaving soc?
>>23018352
rly don't get this idea that i'm butthurt
i'm more butthurt about the hurr durr u mad shit
>>23018358
You seem like a very butthurt individual at present You're reminding me of that kid in high school who constantly had to reinforce the idea that he wasn't getting upset or mad. This, more than anything is telling of how you actually feel. You're trying so hard to convince people you aren't upset that logically, everyone sees you as being upset.
>>23018415
i mean it depends on your definition of upset
i'm upset in the same way i've iterated dozens of times, the same way that I'm upset with flies that take too long to die. i'm not really offended by the fly's existence, or offended at all, but I am pretty pissed.
>>23018661
How the fuck can you say you have a good hairline with that picture. You can see the curve of your skull as bare skin it's so high. I'm not trying to insult you, you have a good jawline, but your hairline just... isn't.
>>23018415
>trying this hard
>>23018681
no one cares about your hairline unless you look like the dude from kane and lynch
that's literally all i'm saying
like no one has a "good" hairline, people only have "bad" hairlines and it only really happens if someone's actually balding.
ahhh back for another day. davids only other fan besides himself reporting in, rates in the next post
>>23016246
4/10
>>23016285
6/10
>>23016319
2/10
>>23016320
>>23016325
0/10 homosexuality is wrong
>>23016342
3.5/10
>>23016787
2/10
>>23016912
2.5/10
>>23016924
5/10
>>23016926
2.5/10
>>23016935
0/10
>>23016936
3/10
>>23016955
0/10
>>23016959
4/10
>>23016984
0/10
>>23017005
6/10
>>23017036
0/10
>>23017039
ur a girl?/10
>>23017052
0/10
the languages arent funny
>>23017069
3/10
>>23017094
2/10
>>23017175
ayyy 6.5/10
>>23017341
scrub/10
>>23017365
5/10
>>23017866
3/10
>>23018159
gettingmad/10
>>23018178
kekk so mad
>>23018198
6/10
>>23018203
2/20
>>23018210
0/10
>>23018228
0/10 dont encourage this
>>23018236
6/10
>>23018254
2/10
>>23018291
0/10
>>23018298
2/10
>>23018352
7/10
>>23018358
2/10
>>23018415
6/10
>>23018661
5/10
>>23018681
4/10
>>23018691
6/10
>>23018764
3/10
you faggots are so boring
>>23019404
>>23019438
Sad/10
>>23022450
eh
5/10
def not worth the build up
>>23019404
>>23019438
>>23021262
>>23022526
You have serious issues...
up from the grave
he's so hot i wanna die
>>23027715
Can't help but feel people like you are samefagging, possibly even OP himself. The guy is not hot in a conventional fashion. You'd have to be actually attracted to all the flaws he has to find him hot. Vast majority of people think he's weird looking.
Why the fuck is this topic still going?
