Tinder advice. Guys I'm looking to start up a Tinder profile because my libido has surpassed lack of interest in people my age. I think I'm cute enough to find something to hookup with, but I'm wanting to make sure I utilize the app in the best way possible before I go and start missing opportunities by being a scrub.
>>22951818
Be an asshole, or be confident.
>Personally i hate it because i'm normally nice but if you go up and straight up ask to bang you'll likely get laid.
>Use your best pictures, have one with your pet in.
Hope it helps.
>>22951839
You're telling me I can literally just ask women if they want to have sex? I feel like I'll get arrested if I'm honest with women. They always seem really humorless and thin skinned.
>>22951857
Most woman just want to feel wanted.
You're giving them that attention, as long as you can keep up the confidence act until the morning after you'll be golden.
>>22951857
You haven't interacted with many adult women. To most girls Tinder is a joke. How old are you?
>>22951876
21 and I have very little experience with talking to women. I'm not shy or lacking in self esteem, but growing up obese deprived me of valuable experience with the opposite sex. After I lost the weight, people started treating me like a human, and now I need to learn how to get what I need and fast.
>>22951839
This. Women are on there trying to get theirs too. I found that I got a lot farther being honest that I was just looking to hook up. I had just gotten out of a long term relationship so I had an angle though.
Be not creepy. Ask to go on dates, like simple coffee food whatever. No one does this anymore apparently. Girls like that.
I don't agree with "be an asshole" but I do suggest not taking it or yourself seriously at all. You don't want to come across like you care if a conversation or match doesn't pan out (which you shouldn't). Again, do not take this that seriously.
>>22953298
Do you warm them up with a little small talk before you ask to hook up, or what's the best approach there?
I would have thought "recently being out of a LTR" would be a turn off.
>>22953312
I always started with small talk and I want to be clear, like, I'm not bringing some sort of strong A game here. I just made small talk.
Inevitably, the conversation always turns to "why you're on tinder". I never steered it there really on my own more than a couple times. It was at that point that I explained I was recently single, not looking for serious (read: I want to get laid)
Interestingly enough, I met my current girlfriend after a couple months on tinder. We just got a place together actually which is where I'm chilling and responding to you from now
>>22953358
Thanks man. I got the small talk down, but always choke and just ask them on a regular date.
I did tell one gal I wasn't necessarily looking for something serious, and she's meeting me for a drink. Is this about right? Should I just nut up and say "I'm going to watch this movie later, want to come over and join me?"
>>22953312
Same guy as >>22953312 again.
I'd also add that part of the reason I had success I think is related to my general attitude/approach to it.
I didn't take it seriously. I considered it almost a testing groud of sorts. I was kinda trying to sort out whether I was bi or not and so I'd bullshit with girls and drop that to see how they'd react. I'd spill some relatively personal or emotional stuff. Ha, it was honestly like virtual practice for real life interaction. I feel like the less seriously you take it, the easier it is to just have fun with it.
>>22953370
Yeah dude. I guess for me, I was just like psyched to just go on casual dates and meet people and I think the girls I met liked that/could see that.
A date doesn't mean you're automatically being relegated to the friendzone. That's a myth.
There's nothing wrong with going on one date and it going no where. You didn't waste time or money, you just got experience to be better at it next time. I guess that's how I see it and it's served me fairly well.
>>22953385
Yeah, I've noticed that. I'm dating a lot more since I quit giving a shit. But I feel like I'm going to luck into actual gf material soon, and I basically want to go into my next LTR feeling like I've had my taste of the single life.
>>22953397
I agree. I've met lots of cool chicks and in my whole life, I've only ever gone on one date where I felt like she just used me for a nice dinner out or whatever.
I guess I'm wondering if "netflix and chill" is just a joke, or if I could actually shoot for that kind of hookup. I also just want to date for a bit and not hurt a girl's feelings because she was hoping for an exclusive LTR right away.
OP here. This is actually inspiring some confidence in how this dating thing works. I've had a really hard time figuring out how to approach girls my age, because it seems more like an ego game for most of them whereas I just want to enjoy the company of a woman. Years and years of being told to be a gentlemen and that I'd find what I was after if I took my time and lost my virginity to somebody special were really damaging to me. I lost my virginity by asking a girl who followed me around and had a crush on me to fuck me out of the blue, and wouldnt you know it my first time was loads of fun and I realized that all I wanted all along was sex.
>>22954528
Yeah, that whole narrative fucked me up too. I think a lot of guys are lucky enough to have a male voice to give more pragmatic advice, but I did not... I think my mom and the women in my life told me the version of "romance" they wanted to believe was true, but they could only tell it from their side.
this is the first time I've seen dating advice that isn't romanticized and misguided or angry PUA redppill negging for codependents bullshit
Forgive my stupidity...will Tinder show up on your Facebook in any way? I can't have anyone I know knowing I am using it. My open marriage isn't common knowledge and most wouldn't understand. When I downloaded, it wanted me to log in via Facebook...
Got a girls number a while back and we started to talk. I developed a crush on her but she stopped talking to me but accepted my instagram follow a day or so ago. Is there anything I can do without sounding like a creep?
>>22957333
It doesn't make any mark on your facebook, but if the people you're trying to hide it from are anywhere near you and they use tinder they can obviously see you on there. If complete secrecy is an important factor I don't suggest using it at all.
>>22957401
I would suggest just walking away. There are probably 500 girls in your town who are clawing at the walls for a dick like yours, don't let them down!
She accepted your insta because she likes attention. Even if she keeps talking to you, I'd say it's an 85% chance that she'll lead you on and treat you like a lap dog.
>>22951818
When you're going to post pics, make sure it's only you in them. No women (competition?) or group of guys (which one is you?). Also have some from all over the place.
Post your real age. 127 years old doesn't show up on the tindr search.
Make sure you tell them what you're looking for. Relationship, nothing serious, etc.
Post some light humor in your profile. Remember people are looking at this. Don't be a douche. We laugh at those.
>>22958268
What if it's a pic with me and maybe two other guys? I thought doing a pic in a group helps you to look social
Any advice friends?
>>22958137
What this guy said. She accepted your insta because followers = popularity, no matter who the followers are.
Walk on and pay no more attention to her
>>22951903
same story. was an obese teen, got very fit late teens, but now i'm 24 and fat again. haven't had sex since i was 17 and it was just one time. i can't get the motivation to start losing weight and getting fit again. it is mind blowing how different people treat you when you are fit.
>>22961597
Take better pictures. No selfies from a downward angle like that
>>22961645
People have no idea man. I have residual feels from when I was 14 and the slutty popular girls would flirt with me and tease me because they found me harmless. I would play along just because I needed the attention, but I knew they didn't think of me as a real man. It makes it hard to believe girls when they're actually hitting on me now.
>>22961660
Got it, I'll replace with the 2nd one then?
Not gonna lie I'm fairly good looking and match with some attractive girls but I literally have no clue what to say to girls on tinder. I've hooked up with plenty of girls but it's all face-to-face because I'm decent at talking to girls. Even when I text girls right now it's just to meet up in person so it's hard to translate that to tinder where I don't even know the person.
What are some good questions to ask that will tell me if I even want to hook up with this girl? I only want to talk to girls that are fun, cute, and/or like to party. I live in a party/college town so it's not hard to find them I just need to filter well.
Any help?
>>22951818
Start by not telling them you watch Red Dwarf
>>22962141
just start up conversation with bio or picture, try to make it funny,
once conversation is started you let it flow ez.
>>22962141
Take cues from the types of pictures they upload and what they mention in their profiles.
I find there are 3 types of message that works well.
1. A genuine, and eloquent compliment about something other than boobs/bum/general hotness
2. An anecdote/question about something they've mentioned in their profile. Protip, if they mention something quirky in their profile, it's there as entirely to give you a conversation starter! Use it! If it's only an anecdote then follow up with a question. Even just "how's your day" is fine, as long as it's not the first thing in your message.
3. The high risk/high reward opener that only works if you're nearby. Something along the lines of "Hey, I'm out and about in X place. You should come join me. My number is xxxxxxxxx". Only do this if you're actually out and about in the area.
The third type of message has actually worked for me more than I ever expected. Your mileage may vary, I live in a city of 8 million.
Any tips or anything?
I'm not sure why but I just can't be bothered to start any conversations in tinder, all I do is swipe a few times a day and gather a few matches every now and then.
>>22965289
poon hill
>>22965289
It's the guy's job to do the messaging on Tinder, at least in the US. I'm decent looking and have nice photos and get matched several times a day, but the only women who message me are unattractive college girls who are either naive or desperate.
I don't read your moonspeak, but unless you're advocating national socialism, you're probably going to be fending women off with a stick. In a decent sized city you can easily set up a date every night if you want to.
Could be worse I guess.
>>22965289
>poon hill
nice one senpai
What if I am unattractive? What sort of wizard shit can you pull that would increase my chances even if just by a small margin.
Like having a picture with a pet.
I'm getting old and I dont want to go all "phantom of the opera" kidnapping a bitch and forcing her to love me because I'm ugly and cant get laid.
>>22966309
kek
A cropped photo of you out with friends might be good.
Don't be a phony about it, but if you fix cars, do sport, hike, or anything like that, you might want to show it off.
I dunno how ugly you are, but I can tell you my best friend is no looker, but he's got sort of a self effacing confidence that women absolutely love, wish I could emulate it.
