I'm petrified.
Met him at a BDSM event a few days ago, he facefucked me hard enough to make me puke, which was pretty hot, and hurt me pretty bad.
Now he says that he's going to take my ass just as roughly, with multiple guys there. It sounds amazing, but in my last relationship receptive anal sex just never worked and ti was pretty painful. He's got a decent reputation in the community, but he's insisted on no safewords, so who knows?
Wat do?
If someone insists on no safe words, hell nah. I don't trust a single motherfucker that much.
>>22880149
If you want a safeword, require a safeword. Especially on something you know in the past you were not the best with.
Best case scenario, he knows what he's doing, and you don't need to use it. Worst case scenario, something horrible is happening and you need to stop the scene, and you can.
>>22880163
Well, it's sort of like, I mean, I know that he'll stop if I just start screaming for him to stop, so that's sort of a safeword. But it'll mean the end of the relationship.
>>22880149
Grit your teeth and take it like the little fuktoy you are
>>22880149
I don't play without safe words in place. Topping or bottoming. It's just not safe, sane and consensual. So... I'd tell him no not until safe words were put in place and honored.
>>22880172
That's... concerning. I actually like to play with no safewords myself, but I would never require it/have it end the relationship.
Walk away. I don't give a fuck about his "reputation", if he insists on no safewords he doesn't know shit about BDSM.
If this isn't bait then stop and see the millions of red-flags here.
Especially if he's big in the community and you are new.
Oh, and people work in patterns - so think about that too.
>>22880198
I'm a mostly-dom switch and I agree, especially when playing with someone I haven't gotten to know really well yet.
Also, if you've never had non-painful anal before, don't go for it, OP. When it hurts, that means tissue is tearing. The last thing you want is open wounds where your poop comes out.
>>22880230
Yes, he's big in the community, and yes, I'm quite new.
What do you mean about patterns?
>>22880172
Wow, okay, yeah. Get the fuck away from this guy. What you're describing isn't in any way a healthy BDSM relationship, it's emotional manipulation. Fuck this guy.
>>22880267
>>22880230
Yeah, I know. I was pretty skeptical of the no safeword thing at first... and during our first scene, I probably would have safeworded five times, and it was an incredible experience. I don't want to give that up.
I guess I've gotten a different time horizon than most people. I have a life-threatening illness. If I'm not going to live now, then when?
>>22880301
Well... you seem pretty aware of the situation and the various different outcomes, so I guess my advice would be to make sure you prioritize your own well-being first. If you're going to do it, make sure it's by your own choice. Do not force yourself into it out of fear of losing him, because a person who is going to break up with you if you scream and tell them to stop hurting you is not a person worth being with.
>>22880301
Plenty of great BDSM experiences to have that won't leave you traumatized for whatever time you have left. Go find someone willing to give you one safely.
>>22880380
Yeah, I know. I guess, I just... the BDSM community can seem sterile after awhile. After countless doms that actually respect me, it's nice to have one that just wants to fuck me up.
Not every sub gets off on abuse... but I think I do. And I don't have a lot to lose at this point.
>>22880301
I have played with two subs wits terminal diagnoses. Always have a safe word. If you don't want to use it and be fucked into oblivion then you still can. But if it gets to be too much, what if this is your last experience, do you want it to be something you didn't want?
Additionally any Dom that doesn't use safe words is a rapist, essentially.
>>22880546
I know. But... I kind of have rape fantasies.
Umm.. male here. How do I get into no strings attached bdsm face fucking? I always have to restrain myself from being super aggressive in the bed room with girls I meet.
Hell.. fucked a girl anally this week complete with olive oil and slow gentle thrusts so she didn't burst into tears.
>>22880255
Check'd.
You think your the first vulnerable chick he's met and said this shit to? No, people repeat patterns and find targets.
And you know your getting taken advantage of or you wouldn't have made this thread. Or maybe your patterns are abuse.
Find somebody you can express that with healthily - or don't and be shamed and ruined and destroyed in a real-no-play way.
>>22880149
>>22880172
>no safewords
>it'll mean the end of the relationship
>he's big in the community, I'm quite new
NOPE NOPE NOPE
you're describing pretty much every red flag in the book here, all you'd need to add is that there are reports of him raping or abusing people and we'd have the complete stereotype
as a kinkster who loves facefucking, anal, and rough sex, I can tell you with certainty that you should stay the fuck away from this guy
>>22881065
why you putting salad dressing on your bitch nigga???
>>22880149
I'd be wary OP. as a sub i don't use a safeword but that wasn't forced on me by my dommes, It was me that wanted to go down that road and i wouldnt do so if i didnt trust them completely with my "wellbeing"
tl;dr don't go with some dom faggot that doesnt operate without safewords
>>22881065
>How do I get into no strings attached bdsm face fucking?
Either find a girl who's already into face fucking, or find a girl who's willing to let you train her to be able to do it. But if you go with the second option, make sure to be patient and take your time. She's probably going to have a lot of difficulty at first, and it's not likely she'll be able to take an all out facefucking on the first try. It's something you need to work your way up to, possibly over several weeks or months.
I've been deepthroat training my sub for about two years now. When I first started seeing her, she couldn't even take my whole length into her mouth. Now she's able to keep it in her throat for extended periods of time, her most recent record was 30 seconds. She still can't take a facefucking for too long, but she certainly puts in a good effort.
>>22882175
+1 this guy is absolutely right!
if someones considering not using a safeword it will backfire. You will be more excited not having a safeword, but you dont know what you get yourself into.
OP please dont do it, if it means the end of the relationship, he is trying to force you which is not okay!
>>22882189
>>22882199
Honestly, as a Dom, I wouldn't play with someone without a safeword even if they wanted it. There's always a chance that something could go wrong.
>>22880172
>I know that he'll stop if I just start screaming for him to stop, so that's sort of a safeword.
That's the whole purpose of a safeword. If he's good enough you'll be moaning and begging him to stop, but he won't because that's his purpose... to make you feel like doing something you don't want to.
Dude, just say no to this guy. He may be selling you as a no-boundaries bottom to these other multiple guys. And while he may respect you telling him to stop, they may not.
>>22880149
Don't fuck with this guy if he insists on no safe words. Sketchy as Hell. Don't
>>22882213
This. Always have a safeword. You dont need to use it, but shit... without one you run the risk of things going wrong. Ive had subs who tell me they dont want a safeword. I give it to them anyway. If youre a sub and think you can go no safeword, I will always accept that challenge, and do my best to make you call it.
>>22880534
and ...this is you getting off on public humiliation. you need to be used more often
>>22880149
Not a guy but I was a little tumblrina a few years ago when I was 15, ended up meeting someone off "CollarMe" because BDSM is all over Tumblr and somewhat glorified.
>He was big in the community
>Didn't give me a safeword before we met up
(we discussed it previously but it was months and months prior to us meeting)
>I was quite new
>Anything he didn't like would set him off and mean the end of the relationship
>Received some warnings from other couples that I was too young to be on the website and that he didn't seem safe
And unfortunately I went through with it because I was too much of a pussy to end things and at the point he wanted to meet up, he already had leverage and blackmail on me. And then he raped me.
And he didn't stop when I screamed, even though there was blood everywhere and I cried and my body ended up swelling my hole almost closed because of the trauma.
I mean do it if you feel like it'd be best but prepare for the worst. I mean, the saying is kind of true: "go ahead, call the cops, they can't unrape you." If things go wrong you'll be fucked up for a long time. Trust me, I know.
Always use safe words and trust your gut feeling.
>>22884213
Point being every single red flag is pretty much the same in this scenario and I would urge you not to go through with it because it's following the pattern of "bad ideas in BDSM hookups."
>>22880149
>No safe words
>Big in the community
Don't chicken hawk.
DON'T DO IT.
Seriously, If you want to get into this more safely, do it smarter. Get a fet-life. Go to munches. Get a social ladder going.
You don't have to fucking go with assholes like that who don't respect your boundaries. Just because you like to be used like a sex toy doesn't mean you ARE.
>>22884213
You do see the pathetic irony in all of this don't you?
>>22880149
> he's got a decent reputation in the community
> he's insisted on no safewords
What kind of fucked up BDSM community is okay with a guy who insists on no safewords?
Consent is a major issue in BDSM and a safe word is used to tell that you're no longer consenting. No safe word = he can do whatever the fuck he wants even without your consent. Sounds familiar? It should be. It's usually better known as "rape".
>>22880158
This
>>22880806
So basically you are saying "I want to be violently fucked to death, and I'm pretty sure I'd get off on at least most of this process?"
>>22887898
Are you looking to use extreme submission as part of your dying process? Like, if you reduce yourself and give yourself (truly give yourself, not just pretend play) to others to "eat" and make use of, then what expires is just a thing, not a person that values herself?
And furthermore you'd be happy to make yourself useful, like a Buddha that happily feeds herself to tigers because it makes the tigers happy to have a warm meal?
>>22880981
Listen to us. This is fucking 4chan, never on 4chan does everyone agree. Except this time. We all want you to to have a fun safe and sane scene.
Look at all the Doms here giving you warnings. I'm certain you can find someone to fuck you senseless and rape you with a safe word. (I'm not talking about on 4chan, use fetlife or connections in a good community, one that doesn't allow a predator to be 'big in the community.")
>>22880149
You sound fat. Are you fat?
