Awkward, weird, and fucked up sex stories you've had, or you know someone who had.
Mine is awkward.
> Girlfriend was heavily medicated by parents.
> On antidepressants that removed all emotion and sex drive.
> Kept having the doctors up the dosage because she was still constantly depressed due to severe bullying.
> She didn't even feel attracted towards others until she was 18 and refused to take the medication anymore.
> Meet her.
> Begin to get jiggy with her.
>She before orgasm she'd shove me away from her, before curling up, and crying.
> That awkward
>>22866856
>crying orgasm
I recently experienced this, the girl started to cry as she orgasmed, I believe because she was sobering up and realised she was a cheating whore.
A friend of mine and my gfs watched us fuck. I dont think she knew I knew she was watching, and my gf didnt know she was watching.
Can greentext either if anyone wants to know full story.
>>22866886
yes
>>22866856
sounds like rape
>>22866886
Full story please
>independence day july 4th
>people over house watching independence day
>all pass out around floor & bed (love sacks)
>gf of time is next to me, wakes me up
>start fucking
>her friend right next to her
>gf starts making noise, someone wakes up turns on light
>gf finishes with friend right next to her
>all me & her juice all over friends clothes
>lights on
kek
I'll tell the story about the girl watching first since ive posted the other on soc before. Didnt save it though. Will post the other one after.
>Background: Many years ago meet gf - S at work. She lives with H. Also work with H
>Have a strange relationship with H. She knows I have a foot fetish and sometimes lets me suck her toes when we are alone - no one else knows this irl
>She also caught me jacking off once and came and sat on the bed and told me to carry on. Watched me nut and then left. Never spoke about it again
>All leave that workplace, go our seperate ways but stay in regular contact and meet up ever few months when possible
>Anyway, go out for NYE, me, my gf S, H, her bf as well as a group of others
>Me and gf staying at H's place where she lives with her bf since its closer and she has spare room
>Go out, get drunk, celebrate new year, get back to H's about 2.30am
>Her bf goes straight to bed, hes wasted
>Rest of us have another drink
>3.30am, H is asleep on sofa and fairly drunk, im drunk, my gf is drunk
>Go to bed with gf. When im drunk either no erection or diamond erection and fuck for hours like a porn star and struggle to cum
>diamond erection achieved, start slaying that pussy, gf not holding back and being very noisy
>Sometime later, perhaps an hour, need water. Open bedroom door and step out. H is standing down the hallway in the door - its about 5m away
>Im naked with a solid erection, illuminated by the light from the bedroom, so she sees everything
cont
>>22867058
>Cross the hall to the bathroom, get water, shes not there on my return journey
>Back in the bedroom, but I leave the door open about 50%, just because Im drunk and I think its hot if she can hear us fuck
>Return to fucking, gf moaning, but im paying a lot of attention to the door
>5 mins pass, hear footsteps in hall, stop outside door
>Can sense, and kind of see a person outside door just standing there.
>Very turned on by this, start talking dirty to gf, shes moaning hard, but she has no idea we are being watched
>Eventually cum at the thought of H getting off on watching us
>As soon as I cum I hear footsteps and H goes back to her bedroom
>Never speak of it again
I still suck her toes. Im not sure she knows I knew she was there watching. I havent asked her. Either way, I still enjoy the memory
>>22867058
>>22867067
That was a nice and actually believable story. Well done.
>>22866856
kek, alright. I've never told anyone this story but it's pretty funny and I just remembered it, so why not.
>Be 15 with my first boyfriend
>We are of course horny teenagers with raging hormones
>After a few months things escalate from kissing to fingering/blowjobs
>We spend 99% of our time trying to sneak off for these sex acts
>We have a mutual friend, Danny, an awkward half-mexican kid
>Danny is kind of cute in a gayboy way, wears bright skinny jeans all the time and has soft, black emo hair (I thought he was gay for the longest time even though he had gfs).
>Danny sometimes inappropriately chokes me [sexually] in front of bf and is really aggressive and kind of weird, doesn't seem to like me very much and I think he's alright but don't like that he pretends to like me and then apparently talks shit behind my back so I don't like him either, but we both like my bf. So we have a weird feigned acquaintanceship with each other.
>One weekend Danny wanted to play Warhammer and CoD with my then bf, but my bf and I already had plans.
>Bf doesn't tell either of us that he made plans at his house with both of us because he knows we both don't really like each other much and he wanted to play vidya and get a blowjob that Saturday.
>I walk into bfs house, Danny's there and immediately is displeased that I arrived.
>I was horny when I got there and also mad that Danny was there because I thought I was gonna have some sexy times with bf
>Passive aggressively trying to tease bf to lure him to his bedroom away from Danny just for like 10-15 minutes to itch the scratch because I came to his house with a goal damnit, not to sit passively while they played vidya (with only 2 controllers)
>Bf takes the bait and tells Danny we'll only be gone for a few minutes and to play a game without him
>I drag bf to his bedroom and we start making out
>Danny knocks every 2 minutes telling us to hurry up
>We're annoyed and tell him to give us a few minutes
(cont.)
>>22867092
This reads like you dont believe me? Sorry if I got the wrong idea. Its not the most wild of stories.
>>22867102
>Danny eventually barges in
>Boyfriend is pissed, like "What the fuck dude give us some privacy"
>Danny refuses to concede because he came with a goal as well, to play vidya, and doesn't want me to suck up all his time
>Bf and I are both horny and sexually frustrated at this time so we tell him fuck off, it has only been 10 minutes and we'd be done soon and then they'd have the rest of the night to play vidya
>I smugly grin because I clearly won
>Danny gets even more upset and decides to sit on bfs computer chair
>Tells us he's going to watch us if we don't stop
>We say fine, watch us then and continue halfway under the covers.
>Not an exhibitionist though so I try to keep the covers over us
>Boyfriend eventually starts pulling up my shirt and I pull down his pants, we can't do it while under the covers though and so we remove them
>Danny is giving us the stink eye, watching intently
>I'm awkwardly laughing now, extremely uncomfortable but too far in/eager for an orgasm to stop
>Boyfriend doesn't seem to care or notice even though I say "dude stop watching us, it's getting weird, etc."
>Boyfriend ends up ripping off my shirt and passionately groping me everywhere
>Too hot and turned on to do anything but moan at this point
>Turn head and Danny is still watching
>Danny then says he's going to jerk off
>I'm not even listening at this point just closing my eyes in pleasure, too into it to care
>Boyfriend laughs and says whatever
>Danny LOUDLY starts jerking it, pulls up porn on bf's computer to make it seem like he is watching it
>I look at him in the dark and notice that he's not peeled his eyes off of us at all
>Continue staring at him and moaning as a sort of "fuck you I won" before realizing it's really awkward
>Turn to boyfriend and ignore Danny for the rest of the time
>Boyfriend cums from my hand and then continues fingerfucking me until I cum as well
>Danny orgasms at the same time I do
(cont.)
>>22867130
No, I do believe you actually. At least I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Which is nice because I feel that in these kinds of threads most stories are either completely fake or are heavily altered.
>>22867149
>Turn to look at Danny and then he looks AWAY, showing he was watching the entire time
>Hugely embarrassed because the realization of what I had just done sunk in
>This guy in all of our classes whom we both have known since we started freshman year just saw my boobs, my boyfriends dick and both of us orgasm, all while watching and jerking to it.
Things get a bit more fuzzy from here since it was so long ago but somehow we all got dressed, cleaned up and went back to the living room. I just remember it being the most awkward of silences between all of us until I called my mom and had her take me home. None of us ever mentioned it again and when I tried talking to my boyfriend privately about it he genuinely cringed and said let's not bring it up.
Eventually a few months later I moved away and my boyfriend and I inevitably broke up. Danny removed me as a friend on Facebook shortly afterward. Ex and I still haven't discussed it to this day.
lel.
>>22867156
The other one I have is perhaps more unbelieveable, although its really just a case of drunken cheating. The crying orgasm is what I enjoyed though. I will post it once I type it up.
>>22867180
Was the scenario hot to you when it was in motion?
Background. Me and gf move to London together. Im doing a masters degree, shes got a 1 year training post there. Too expensive to get our own place, so we share a two bed apartment with another professional couple around our age (mid 20's) who we found online. I get on well with the girl in the other couple, we are opposites though. Shes an artsy English lit grad who works in marketing, Im a free market loving, financial mathematics student who wants to go into investment banking.
We live together for a year. During that year some sexual tension between me and the girl, but nothing of note happened and no one noticed. I often masturbated in her bed sniffing her dirty panties though. Gf's training post ended 3 weeks before my degree, and she had to move to a different city for another training position so for the last few weeks it was just me and the other couple.
>Sunday night, im due to move out on Tuesday
>Enjoying a few beers since I dont want to carry them during the move
>Browse /ck/, because thats my favourite board
>Other couple in their bedroom and start having an argument
>Its not unusual for them to argue, and they have had a few really big arguments over the year
>This is a a big one, sounded like she slapped him, or at least tried to from what they were saying
>Im not really bothered by it any more, doesnt make me feel awkward since its regular
>Whilst im taking a piss, one of them storms out the flat and slams the door
>Go back to my beer and /ck/
>Eventually the girl comes out the bedroom, apologises
>Pours herself a large shot of vodka and slams it
>Offers me one, I agree since its Ciroc red berry and I had been eyeing it for a while but not tried it.
>I have my shot (not great) and carry on with my beer, she carrys on drinking vodka and juice
>Starts talking about the argument and their relationship etc etc
cont
>>22867186
I don't know, it was a few years ago so I couldn't exactly say for certain.
From what I remember, in the moment I was just so turned on that I didn't really care about being watched. Danny never was attractive to me but he was not an unattractive guy, if that makes any sense. I didn't want to see him tugging on his tiny teenage penis, especially to the thought of me and/or my boyfriend, but I guess the fact that I was being watched and acting extremely dirty in front of someone I'd never been that way with was kind of sexy.
Plus with my teenage logic it was the "ultimate fuck you" to him, being pleased by my boyfriend while he wanted to play video games.
So yeah, I guess it was kind of hot to me in the moment, being watched and asserting my dominance over my boyfriend in a slutty way but in any other circumstances having Danny jerk off to me would not be appealing in the slightest.
It was nauseating after the fact.
>>22867316
Gotcha. Only ask bc I experienced something roughly similar- once ate out an ex in front of her friend, a totally manipulative bitch that later fucked her over. It's not a good enough story to greentext (basically we started without knowing her friend was sleeping at the other end of the room). Tho I found it pretty hot that my ex was naked and cumming in front of someone
>>22867297
>Shes drinking quite a lot
>Im feeling a little tipsy since the beers are quite strong and I dont normally drink that much
>She goes to get herself a fresh drink
>When she returns, she sits on the sofa next to me, she was on the other sofa before
>Not even sure what happened, but within 30 seconds she was straddling me and we were passionatley kissing
>First time I ever cheated on my gf, bit not thinking about that at the time
>She leads me to her bedroom, pulling clothes off each other
>Both naked, kissing, stood by her bed
>My hands go between her legs, shes hairy just like I knew she would be, and already wet
>Im hard. No foreplay. I lie her on her back and mount her
>I fuck her every way you can fuck someone whilst they lie on their back and you kneel between thier legs
>The few drinks Ive had are serving me well, been pounding away for 20 minutes and still dont feel like cumming
>I step it up a gear and increase my speed
>Im drilling her like a rabbit now. Im putting everything I have in to this. I want to make a good impression. And its working because shes moaning constantly
>Then it happens
>A few tears start to stream down her cheeks
>I dont know whats going on
>Suddenly her body starts to convulse, her pussy clamps around my dick
>Shes shaking and moaning, as an orgasm rips through her
>I lose it and start to cum
>Without a thought, I shoot deep inside her and fill her with my seed
>She bursts in to tears
>I take my dick out as she curls up and cries
>Shit is too weird right now. I retrieve my clothes and retreat to my bedroom, leaving her full of cum and crying
I havent seen her since. On the monday I didnt see her since she was at work and got back late, and I moved out on the Tuesday whilst she was at work.
I have a story but I don't feel like greentexting it
>>22867058
>>22867067
lmao nigga who the fuck just stops having sex to go get a glass of water? anyways nice story man
>>22866856
>She before orgasm she'd shove me away from her, before curling up, and crying.
I'm assuming you mean before she'd orgasm, she'd shove you away and start crying.
Not uncommon among people with depression. I do it sometimes during masturbation.
>>22867783
>lmao nigga who the fuck just stops having sex to go get a glass of water?
its basically sports
sports make you thirsty
water helps
pic is related to thread
>>22866856
Bit of an awkward one
>Bi and horny
>Move to a rural town, it's near a city so check out hookup sites for said city
>CL is the only good one
>Find a couple people in town
>Mostly old guys
>Find someone around my age, they're a bottom and available that night
>Bitchin'
>Let them know I'm a top and I ain't a phallus suckler before going round
>Get round, they ask me to suck their phallus
>Nigga do you want a fucking slap?
>Get my dick sucked for a bit, slip on a condom and get to it
>The fucker is loose as all hell and his asshole is leaking intense shit stank into the air
>Desperately trying not to be repulsed and turned off
>We're doing missionary
>He's breathing in my face
>Breath is stank
>How I'm positioned is making my knees hit the wood work of the bed
>He jacks it and just as his ass tightens enough to be considered above average levels of pleasurable, he cums and loses interest
>Won't even help me get off anymore
>Say fuck it, cut my loses and duck out
Could have had more fun with a dead fish/10
>first time ever having sex.
>super nervous.
>have to piss the entire time.
>I keep edging close to cumming but my bladder is blocking my urethra so I don't fill her cunt with piss.
>finally say I gotta stop and go piss.
>can't do it because of erection.
>pinch and slap thighs til Lil Willie calms down.
>piss and go back to bedroom. Can't get hard now.
>with HS love.
>deal with everything as she breaks up with douche boyfriend.
>stay by her as she recoups.
>eventually become more than friends.
>everytime we fucked she would start crying.
>blow jobs were fine though.
>still to this day have a problem with vaginal sex, her crying everytime fucked me up psychological.
>with kinky girl.
>she wants to try butt stuff.
>we go to sex store and buy baby's first anal toy.
>semi limp rubbery thing. Only about half the size of me.
>play with her butt with it.
>she enjoys it, tells me to fuck her pussy while playing with her butt.
>go ham as I DP her with my cock and a toy.
>she cums like a woman possessed.
>I start to pound into her like a freight train.
>stomach pushes anal toy ALL THE WAY IN
>"Oh fuck she screams"
>she has to poop out the toy as we both frantically stand there going "What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck."
>and that's why toys with a wide base are good.
>>22866856
>be me
>be 20
>be a horny, desperate virginfag
>have a female dog, love her to pieces
>get super horny one day and start yanking on the couch (home alone)
>dog jumps up and sniffs at my dick
>horny brain going
>take hand off dick and present it to her
>she gives a few test lick
>she's slobbering all over it quickly
>long, firm tongue strokes from head to base
>she is all over my cock and nuts
>heaven.jpg
>close as fuck
>she gives a particularly strong lick over the top of my head
>blow hard, shooting cum into her mouth and on her nose and some on myself
>she cleans it off herself
>cleans me off, keeps massaging my cock
>goes until I give another small load
>cleans it all up and licks my dick and balls like she was soothing it
>she stops, I pull up shorts and pull her onto my chest
>kiss and cuddle her, tell her how much a good girl she was
>end up falling asleep with her in my arms
>tfw this becomes a normal thing
>tfw she passed away this year at the age of 12 due to cancer
>I hate myself because I feel like I used her.
>>22870446
she wanted the dick so its ok
>>22870451
I can't help but feel like this though. I gave her the best life I could, constantly spoiled her and took her out to the park. Feels bad man
>>22870464
so she was just like a girlfriend then, and the blowjobs were her own way of compensating you
>>22870480
I suppose.. In that logic, best gf ever. I definitely couldn't find unconditional love like that again...
I just feel like I used her because I constantly got head from her. I provided the best I could for her but still... I miss her :/
>>22870490
get another dog
anytime a pet has ever died in my family, we immediately got another pet within the same week and it brightens up everyones spirits
>>22870496
I couldn't care for a dog right now. Not the way I'd want to. I work 40+ a week now, so my free time is limited. Plus I feel like I'd just be trying to replicate my time with my last dog, which inadvertently means I'd be getting a dog for sex, and that thought makes me feel even worse.
>>22870506
there's nothing wrong with having sex with dogs
>>22870511
No, not at all, but getting a dog just for sex is.
Happened like a year ago.
>Be 18
>Go home with sloot and a mutual friend.
>Have small afterparty in our underwear and decide to go to sleep
>All 3 sleeping in the same bed with her in the middle
>Go to take a piss and get some water only to come back to them trying to hide that they're fondling eachother. Badly i might add.
>We all go to sleep
>wake up about 6 hours later with her ass on top of me
>Take it as a hint and start rubbing her thighs and eventually stick my hand down her panties.
>She grabs my rock hard cock and starts stroking it slowly and asks if i wanna go into the livingroom.
>Wait for her there while she freshens up a bit
>She comes back, we fuck furiously for about an hour.
>She has a powerful orgasm and starts convulsing
>Fuck her slowly for a bit and pull out so she can recover while i get some water.
>Look down and see a nugget of shit on the couch.
>Don't mention anything. It's gone when i come back.
>Fuck until friend wakes up.
Apparantly she was dating a guy at the time and they were a couple by new year's eve. Met them at a new year's party and got stink eyed by him for hours.
have a story about my slutty ex getting double teamed and about her fucking a one night stand in the shower...the shit you can find on someones phone pic related
>>22870745
do tell
>>22870785
ok so apparently
>she's out at a bar
>2 guys she's friends with on the football team offer to take her home
>she goes with them
>gets back to the guys place, they start making moves on her
>guess she goes with it
>they get her down to her panties, make her go doggy on the bed
>starts to blow one guy while the other fingers her from behind
>takes her panties off, starts to fuck her
>they switch and the one guy cums in her mouth
>he leaves
>still getting pounded from behind by the other guy
>tells her to get on her knees
>guy tit fucks her and has her blow him until he cums in her mouth and on her tits
she told the girl she was texting that they were rough with her, fucking her face and pulling her hair smacking her ass
My girlfriend was giving me a handy. When I was about to cum, I turned away from her so I could bust and her cat jumped up on the bed and on top of us.
I gave that poor cat a moneyshot and she just scampered away. Saw my gf's younger sister giving the cat kisses later that day.
tl;dr thx op i cum on cat she hiss at penis
>>22870446
Bump
I have a couple of bad stories from when I was 16-18 with my first serious bf. If you want more, just say so. Here's the first one:
>Alone at his house after school and practice (I played volleyball, he ran cross country)
>Decide to shower together
>Go to the master bath because it's bigger and nicer
>Fool around in the shower
>Get out, both wearing towels, wandering around downstairs
>Move to kitchen, have sex on kitchen table in front of a sliding glass door
>I'm on my back with my head on the edge of the table, bf standing having sex with me
>Hear lawn mower start close by
>Bf keeps going
>Looking out glass door, upside down, and see bf's older neighbor pass by the door
>He's cutting bf's lawn
>He sees us, stops the lawn mower, and comes and knocks on the door yelling for us to stop
>We both hid and I gtfo after I got dressed
>Neighbor tells bf's mom...we're not allowed to be together unsupervised
>This doesn't stop us...
>>22866856
>be 28
>new job in a new city
>first day of work
>no car, gotta take the bus
>go and sit in front of this young emo girl
>she keeps staring at me for the whole trip
>next day, same seat
>she sits in front of me again
>keeps staring at me once more
>suddenly starts talking to me
>slightly cought offguard at how blunt she is
>talk for about 30 minutes
>tell her the next stop is mine
>she asks for my phonenumber
>can tell she has daddy issues
>respectfully decline
>get out to work
>do my job and shit
>going outside for a lunchbreak
>out of the blue she shows up at my building
>starts talking and flirting with me
>play along
>this goes on for the rest of the week
>friday: she's there again
>finally my curiosity gets the best of me
>ask her why she keeps following me
>she tells me she wants to fuck me
>godwhynow.jpeg
>tell her respectfully that I can't
>wave a akward goodbye
>go back to work
>evening comes and done with my shift
>she's still outside waiting for me
>a seductive "will you fuck me now?" follows
>surewhynot.jpeg
>take her to my place
>have a few drinks and a good talk
>’wanna go to bed?’
>she starts having second thoughts
>her issues and insecurities bottle up
>shitherewego.jpeg
>reluctantly provide comfort
>get to talking again
>turns out she's a runaway and just turned 17
>omfgwtf.jpeg
>has no place to go tonight
>tell her she can crash on my sofa
>go to sleep separatly
>she jumps in my bed in the middle of the night
>wtfareyoudoing.jpeg
>starts rambling on how im the 'most honest guy she ever met'
>tell her I just wanted to fuck her
>she smiles back and tells me that's okay
>crawls up to me and starts cuddling
>cuddling turns into foreplay
>foreplay turns into amazing sex
>both fall asleep
>wake up next morning
>she's gone
>find a written note in the kitchen
>"Thanks for being there when I needed it the most. I know you said no, but here's my number anyway", followed by a winking smiley.
Pic related.
>>22871094
Let's play choose your own adventure. Do you want to read:
1. Whey my mom caught us
2. Road head disaster
3. The park
4. Friendly dorm
>>22871209
Roadhead bitte.
>Be 16, nearly 17
>Drinking underage with friends at a biker pub
>Me and one friend who I've always had a soft spot for but am too socially awkward to be in a relationship with go to get chips
>Chip shop closed, we start walking back when he grabs my arm, turns me around and kisses me
>Kiss back
>So sloppy drunk, start blowing him in the middle of town against brick wall
>He says we should go somewhere more private, I assume he means his house
>No, he means a local park
>Again, way too drunk to have any sense of self respect
>I blow him a little longer, he goes down on me
>Eventually pulls out condom and I give the thumbs up, despite being first time
>Lying down on the grass in the middle of the night in a public park, him trying desperately to get his drunken teenage semi inside me
>No joy
>He persists and I tell him to stop being ridiculous and stop
>We get dressed and he walks me home
>Next day he texts me asking if I "want to try again lol"
>Tell him no
>Friendship deteriorates
>Experience so disastrous I even attempt to have sex again until I'm 18
>>22871262
Again, I was somewhere between 16-18, probably 16 or 17
>Day after Thanksgiving and bf and I decide to go black Friday shopping
>We live in a small town, so we have to travel to another city to get the crazy deals
>We leave in later afternoon to avoid the crazy people
>Go to different malls and stores, pick up a few gifts and head home
>40+ minute trip with heavy traffic
>I'm in tights, a short, heavy skirt and my bf starts to feel me up on the drive home
>Heater is blasting and he has seat warmers and I'm in to it
>Take off coat, coat sweater, and t-shirt
>Down to tights, skirt, and spaghetti strap shirt and bra
>Traffic gets a little better
>I pull out his dick (I've always referred to it as the whopper)
>Start playing with him then go down on him
>He pulls my boobs out of my top
>Traffic slows, but I keep going
>I stop and sit upright in time to see a familiar face in the lifted truck next to us
>Bf drives a little coupe
>Realize it's my male cousin in the truck, have a moment of shock
>My cousin looks down to see me, my boobs out and my boyfriend's dick out
>Make eye contact with cousin
>This all happens within seconds
>I hide myself, bf puts his junk away
>Get call from my cousin on my cell, but don't answer
>We eventually lose him
>He tells my parents and his parents
>Awkward Christmas
>>22871348
Continuing choose your own adventure. Do you want to read:
>1. When my mom caught us
>>2. Road head disaster
>3. The park
>4. Friendly dorm
New option
>5. "I found your nudes"
>>22871404
Oh boy.
I'll take curtain #5 Wayne.
>be 18
>be a little chubby but a 7-8 (as many anons here said)
>met this guy online that lives 2 hours away from me
>we chat a lot and at some point we start to flirt and play the romantic couple
>eventually we meet but we don't fuck until the third time (he usually stopped by for a day so we really didnt have the time)
>i decide i would come at his place for a couple of days
>awyiss we're going to fuck
>as i arrive we decide to buy some drinks and pick a movie to watch togheter while we drink and eat stuff
>i ended up drinking all by mysels while he had half of a beer
>he said that it turns him on when i'm drunk
>we start to make out and, as one thing let to another, we ended up in bed naked and horny
>he's diamonds
>we proceed to fuck
>after 5 min he goes limp
>"nah, don't worry"
>he goes limp again
>"may i help you?" "it's okay"
>same thing repeats at least 5 times and after a while he just gives up
>i'm drunk and confused
>same thing the day before
We never really spoken about it and the story ceased 2 weeks later i came home.
It made me feel like poop tho
P.S. What's up with the captcha?
>in college
>roomate meets this chick who wants to hang out with him
>tells her yes but has to bring someone over for me
>she brings her friend who is 6/10 with big tits
>we drink for a bit and roommate and chick want to fuck
>i hear chick say to her friend "just blow him or something... dont Fuck this up for me"
>we leave and give them the room
>we have zero chemistry and its just awkward as fuck
>we end up in the stairwell where she asks me if I want a bj
>Fuckyeah.jpg
>zero enthusiasm
>I cant cum like this
>she asks me if she can stop
>we both agree this was awful
>end up parting ways and going to my buddies room to play vidya
>>22871409
I was 19 or 20 when this happened
>My bf and I went to the same college
>We were still together, but he was distant
>I started to send him nudes to get him to come over more
>He still wouldn't come over regularly
>I started seeing another guy on the side
>Bf was seeing another girl and broke it off with me
>I sent him pics of me with side guy
>We argued a whole bunch
>I broke it off with the other guy to try and pursue a relationship with ex-bf
>Sent more nudes (this time with my face) to try and get him back
>He kept telling me no
>He uploaded the photos to a revenge porn site
>Don't hear from ex-bf for weeks
>Get a text from a creepy guy from home who was always downloading movies and music for people: "Hey I saw your photos, you're fucking hot."
>>22871516
>1. When my mom caught us
>>2. Road head disaster
>3. The park
>4. Friendly dorm
New option
>>5. "I found your nudes"
>6.Big ass and tight khakis -- how I could never work in the food court again
I'll share mine.
>20ish, single, horny as hell and my last fuckbuddy just got a guy
>why not try craigslist
>this was a good idea at the time
>I was wrong
>end up messaging back and forth with some rando
>eventually agree to meet up and just trade oral
>whatever bj's for days.
>Neither of us wants to meet up at our places
>Shit
>She says she has a place.
>Awyeahboy.
>It's at a fucking church.
>In the sunday school room.
>Welp
>Apparently she does the sundayschool shit and has keys.
>Meet up at like midnight and she lets us in.
>Pulls off her shirt and pants and I go to town
>Shaved clean and smelled and tasted great.
>Eventually grabs my face and forces it deeper while crossing her legs around my head.
>Neat.jpg
>I strip, already diamonds.
>She starts and...
>It's bad.
>Not even all that enthusiastic.
>I can tell she isn't very experienced.
>Because of the fucking TEETH.
>Cheese-grater on my D.
>I go limp in self defense and just tell her to stop.
>Get dressed in silence and leave.
>Never speak again.
>>22871589
Number six sounds interesting.
>>22871768
What did you think of >>22871516 and >>22871348?
It may not be worth me sharing #6
>>22871844
They're p. great.
Also
>6.Big ass and tight khakis
C'mon now. It's gotta be good.
>>22871768
I was 20 or 21
>Worked in the food court that serviced my dorm
>Buffets on Thursday
>The football and basketball teams would always come to the buffet
>I was a cashier and forced to wear a red polo and khakis
>I'm thick with a big butt
>A couple of the guys would always hit on me as I typically worked that shift
>I decided to take one of the guys up to my room after he hit on me...
>>22871886
you want me to go on from >>22871908?
>>22871913
i do, plz continue
>have childhood female friend
>were never super close, but were friends in high school
>went to different colleges
>college over
>she's engaged to get married
>super churchy girl
>we're chilling again because we're both back in town
>one day see her nudes
>apparently she was a bit wild in college
>show her nudes and ask if it's her
>she says yes, is mortified by them, I tell her that I thought she deserved to know that someone from her college days was spreading them
>there was no sexual tension before, there definitely is now
>hanging out at her place
>offers me a drink
>one thing leads to another
>fucking my childhood friend like she's a $2 whore on sale
>after we're done suddenly regrets and feels
>she balls her eyes out because she realizes that she just cheated on her fiancee
>tells me to get the fuck out
>leave
>invited by her to the wedding
>didn't go
>the awkward is painful, but I don't think anyone knows about it but us
>meet girl on tinder
>cute af in pics
>brunette, long hair, curvy, beautiful green eyes, freckles
>holy shit i'm lucky
>meet up after hour long train ride
>she's fat af and has a slight lazy eye
>already this far
>fuck it
>get to her dorm
>get down to business
>worst blowjob ever received
>hovers mouth over dick with no suction
>basically feels like a leaky faucet dripping on my cock
>give up
>bring her to bed
>bend her over
>ass is fat and looks like the most promising part of whole experience
>ohno
>hairy asshole
>stank puss
>gulp heavily and penetrate
>dunno how i managed to stay erect
left shortly after smoking a shit ton of weed with her and her sorority sisters. it was a weird experience
>>22871913
Fuck yeah I do.
>>22871968
fuck this hurt me to read
>>22871844
Yes I have enjoyed all your stories. I would not have asked for more if I didn't.
>>22871908
Where is the rest?
>>22871886
>>22871913
>>22871930
>>22871995
>>22872191
>I lead this guy up to my room
>He starts kissing me and I don't stop him
>He talks a lot between our kisses
>I take off my polo but he doesn't take off anything
>He expertly unhooks my bra and removes it
>He moves my hand down to his dick while he sucks on my nipples
>Whoa 8=============D
>He gets me to kneel before him and I start sucking him
>He tells me to put my hands on my bed after a few minutes
>He cums all over my back and khakis
>He leaves
>I go back to work
>He's 6'3" about 290lb and his dick is skinny but as long as my face and these huge balls
>We see each other over and over until he starts to bring his friends...
>go on 2nd date with woman
>my 2 roommates are out late. >knowing this, I invite her to spend the night
>literally as soon as I put the tip in, I hear the front door
>roommates and other friends known to barge in so I scramble
>hear 4 voices total, recognize drunk slurs of a friend, primary barger
>hear my name thrown around
>no one barges in
>fuck for the next 10+ minutes
>we both finish
>as soon as we get dressed I hear noise and the drunk friend barges in
>"Yo whatsuuuu- oh shit."
>awkwardly closes door and I hear talking about me having a woman over
>fuckit, nothing to be ashamed of, she was super hot and awesome
>I walk past the living area where they were hanging to grab water
>witty friend: "yo man how far did you make it in Zelda?"
>people laugh
>"I just beat it"
>roaring "oooohhhh"s and laughs
>invite them to my room to say hi
>she asks what the oohhhhs were about
And that's how she found out I was a gamer.
>>22866856
>ex-gf
>some times she put a pillow on my face
>saying that she was shy
>still think about it...
>big night out in uni planned with flat mates and some girls one of the guys invited
>one girl seems super easy and up for fun
>she flirts with every guy at one time or another
>friend thinks he's in cos they kissed at the bar
>she sits next to me and is grabbing my dick under table
>take her home before anyone else can and with no one else noticing
>she's pretty dirty but an average fuck
>she passes out and everyone else comes home
>guy who thought he was in barges into my room asking where I went
>sees girl naked sleeping in my bed
>gets all pissy and doesn't talk to me for weeks
>give her a fake number as she goes back to whatever town she is from
A friend of mine recently revealed to me that she's a virgin, despite the fact that she's 23 and has been with her boyfriend for 6 years. He is King Autism and doesn't go near her, and she spends so much of her time masturbating that she misses work shifts and uni lectures.
>>22872274
been sitting here waiting for more to this story
did it turn you on to just get on your knees and suck the big cock? do you do this often? I would've at least gotten you down to your thong
And another:
>week after 21st bday
>ex gf invites me over to celebrate
>eh....sure whatevs
>she has drinks and it's just us two
>I see where this is going
>she's knocking down vodka like some college freshman
>oh wait, she is
>says her best friend is nearby and wants to hang
>friend is a 10/10, cheating type though so 9/10
>apparently told ex gf that she thought I was super hot when she first met me.
>she brings ganja
>I don't partake because muh job interviews
>hear them talking in private as I make more drinks
>overhear whispering of a threesome from the friend
>is this for real.jpg
>I return to weird looks and talks about heading to bed, and everyone spending the night
>go to restroom and stare at myself in the mirror, oh wait I'm drunk as fuck
>go into bed with ex gf
>friend sleeps on couch
>drunk sex, was funny, loud and decent
>ex says she was totally down to have a threesome, but her friend said she has some infection
And that's how I dodged the clap, the first time. Thank you honest friend.
>>22872274
a nigger or spic
hello chicago here
I guess I can give it a go.
1. She had what?
2. Too bad for you/Its not the computer.
3. Give us some time!
>>22872283
>>22872394
Ok one last story:
>high school, senior year, break up with gf
>one of her close friends and I would hang and play scrabble
>talks me through breakup, she's pretty and chill
>one day, school lunch table is just us two, normally it's a crowd of 5+
>we do a crossword puzzle
>feel a hand on my leg, caressing my knee
>ohhhhhh snap
>she moves it off after a few seconds
>I grab her hand and put it back
>I get the look
>you know, the look
>lunch ends, she says we should play scrabble after school
>we scrabble and chill
>she runs an errand for 5 mins and says hang out in her room
>comes back, lays next to me
>make out
>escalates quickly
>grabs my cock, is taken by surprise at size
>really good bj
>turns out she went out to buy condoms
>how fucking thoughtful.jpg
>we start, it's slow and passionate
>tell her to climb on top
>says she can't, she's too tight and it won't work
>try it?
>she's too tight and it won't work
>try doggie instead
>incredibly tight, she's way too tense
>see that she's wincing
>I pull out
>this was her second time
>I stop completely
>she offers bj
>tell her it's alright
>also keep this thing between us
>show up at school
>other female friend running at me
>tells me she "heard"
>it's not even first period yet
And that's when my friends found out I had underaged sex. If you could even call it that.
Femanon here
>just turned 17 female senior year of high school
>homecoming week so every night there is a different event.
>This particular night I was in charge of setting up for the homecoming pajama party/movie in the auditorium and BBQ along with these 2 freshman boys.
>Both were blonde/dirty blonde chunky/husky white boys which I have a thing for.
>The meeting was at the auditorium and us 3 were in charge of getting the BBQ pit and utensils all the way across campus from the woodshop room.
>the two boys were friends with each other but one was a football player for the jv team and another one was a goody-good wannabe cool kid but was really nerdy lol
>I planned on changing into my pajamas after setting up the BBQ but decided to change in the woodshop- I have no idea what came over me.
>I asked the guys if it was okay for me to change right then in there. They looked at each other and said yes.
>I take off my pants in front of them, wearing only a thong and took off my shirt. There I was with my thong and bra in front of these guys who probably just hit puberty.
>I notice then staring at me so I wanted to tease them, so I flashed them. I asked them if that was the first pair of boobs they saw and of course they said no but I knew that they were lying.
>Put my PJ's on and we took the BBQ and utensils to the auditorium.
>Movie is over.
>The same 2 guys and I are taking the things back to the woodshop. Once there, I was talking about how my ex broke up with me during the summer.
>I then wanted to see how far I can get with these two so I asked if they mind if I change in front of them again. They said not at all.
>I said it's not fair for them to get a show so they have to at least get down to their underwear. So seeing that it's no big deal, they stop to their underwear.
>Again, I don't know what came over me but I went up to them and grabbed both of their crotch areas. I can feel that they are both rock hard.
>Go down to my knees, took off the pair of tighty whities from the football player and this huge and thick pink cock springs out. It was really big for my experience at the time... my ex was 6" average but his was well over 7. I remember saying, "oh big boy", smiled, then started to put my mouth on it and sucked away.
>at the same time I used my other hand to take off the other guys boxers. He was a fraction of the other guys size, about 3-4" and had very little hair. He also had an uncircumcised cock which I have never seen before at that time.
>I take off my shirt and my bra and started sucking on the nerdy guys cock. It was very little but cute at the same time. I remember trying to pull the skin back but that hurt him so I just sucked with the skin over.
>I'm taking turns sucking and jacking them off and very quickly the nerdy guy came in my mouth without a warning. I wasn't expecting it so I pulled away and it got all over my boobs. The nerdy guy went ahead and started putting his clothes back on.
>The football player's big cock throbbing in my mouth was turning me on even more and I really wanted to fuck him then and there. I was sucking on him while rubbing his round belly. He then warned me about Cumming but since I was ready for it, I deep throated him as far as I could while I felt his cum going down my throat.
>Him and I started to put clothes back on and I asked if they liked it... the football player smiled and said "oh yeah" but the nerdy kid just nodded and looked as if he saw a ghost. I don't know what was up with him until the next day- he was embarrassed about his size.
I said to them if they want any more fun that they can't tell anyone. I don't think they did because there wasn't any "rumours" going around about me except some smiles from their close group of friends.
All in all, that was my story of how I popped 2 freshman's cherry lol. I did end up taking both of their virginity's soon after, but no threesome experiences between us three though after that. The football player actually became my summer boyfriend for the following summer before I went to college. I really miss his huge cock.
>Girl friendzoned by decided to hook up
>She was rolling on molly
>Go back to my apartment and start hooking up on the couch
>Gay Black Roommate was next door in his room "sleeping"
>Remove her leggings and see her finally see that fat ass of hers
>She removes my pants and says" Wow I didn't know your dick was huge"
>Start 69ing and the sweet scent of dead fish wallops my way
>After a few minutes I couldn't tolerate it
>Stop, and have drunken banter with her her saying "Eat me Out" and me saying "Suck my Dick" going back and forth for a minute
>Gay black roommate tells me this the morning after
Bag this 12/10 Spanish chick that didn't speak any English
>Got too shitfaced and brought her back to my place
>My entire place was packed with other drunken idiots
>Buddy brought over his ps4 with MGSV ground zeroes which was newly released
>End up autisming over MGSV and forgetting that I had this semon demon wearing a shirt that exposed her entire cleavage and midriff
>Start speaking in Spanish to her,
"El PlayStation Fouro es el Futurero
>Ended up knocking out and her leaving and never saying goodbye
>Be at work, come across this 10/10 woman cop that needed me for my services
>Spends a lot of time with me
>Thinking that im not good enough for her
>Finally realize that she was trying to get in my pants
>Fuck it up
Women throw themselves my way and I always fuck it up
>One time had 10 girls fighting over me at a bar all because I called an old guy a Napoleon Complex motherfucker to his face
TFW you Alpha'ed but derpession and despair makes you into an omega beta
>be me
I was trying to get with a beaaaautiful girl in my class. The kind of girl that you just kinda look and despite what shape you're in, or how you look, you just feel like you have no chance with her. Anyway, she liked me for some reason and I didn't question it. We went out for a few drinks, came back to my place, started having sex and I noticed it smelled AWFUL. like shit. like she was literally wearing a diaper full of shit. Just assumed it was something in the air, or something from my dog, or I was just kinda drunk but anyway, she wanted me to have her doggy style, I flipped her over and we started doing it again, and thats when I noticed it. There was shit literally all over this girls ass. but not like she shit herself, but like she has no clue how to wipe her ass, and hasn't for weeks. Like just a huge clump of fecal matter directly on her asshole, that got sandwhiched between her ass and smeared throughout her pants. At that point I was too far in, and way too nice to be like "whoa, look, you're pretty and all, but you have shit all over you and I'm going to have to stop this right here."
So I kept going, and it got worse. She ends up leading me to a chair, and thinks shes giving me a real treat by doing me me reverse cowgirl on it, with her shitty ass rocking back and fourth closer and closer to me. eventually, it literally hits me and I end up with a HUGE shit stain on my sweatshirt, which I was still wearing for some strange reason, again I was kinda drunk. I end up faking an orgasm, throwing the condom out before she has time to realize what I did, and just going to sleep.
I once denied my crush of a long time. Beautiful redhead with freckles just a tiny bit thicker than the average girl. She pulls me into a bathroom at a party and just grabs my cock beneath my pants. She immediately pulls off her pants and smacks her own ass saying "I want you to fuck this right now". I'm about to when I spread her cheeks and realize there's a piece of poopy toilet paper stuck to her right ass cheek right next to her asshole. I don't say anything and just kind of knock it off with the tip of my dick, but the bathroom vent blows it right up into my eye. Boner lost, blamed it on whiskey dick, she turned out to be a terrible person anyway.
Alright, so I'm with my boyfriend of almost two years, we've done nothing sexual together.He had sex with some girl a few months before we got together, I still have my hymen. We took a road trip together, we're on our way home. Car breaks down in the middle of nowhere,so we push it off to the side of the road. We're three hours away from his parents house and it's two in the morning. I had been asleep previously, head on his lap, fell asleep with a pretty obvious boner poking my neck. No need to sit up front anymore, so we move to the back of the car to sleep. I'm laying on him, a little tired but can't get back to sleep due to anxiety. Eventually, his hand is in my pants, and then clothes are off. Obviously there's some blood at first, and some wincing. Long story short, got some blood and some cum on the back seat, the stain is still there.
Alright, time for batman.
>Be 17
>first sexual relationship
>bf and I only doing bj's and fingering and junk
>bf moves away
>super bummed about it, save up to visit over summer
>spends a week with him at his place, all the while debating on whether to fuck him or not
>Last couple nights I was there we go see the new batman movie.
>He's weirdly excited about it, just really digs it.
>Get home, he's still talking about the movie and is really energetic about it.
>It'sTime.jpg
>Takes off shirt and tosses it at bf, saying "I'm ready. I want to have sex"
>bf looks at me, then my tits, and says "Nah, I'm too excited about batman"
>mfw my bf would rather fuck batman than me.
>mfw it's been 3 years since he dumped me because he wanted a chick he could fuck.
>mfw this autistic shit fucks like 3 chicks immediately after breaking up with me
>mfw no guy has even so much as looked at me since.
>mfw that was as good as its ever gonna get for my sex life.
I hope the Wizard powers are worth it.
>>22873073
I have totally gone on rants about inane things when I have felt unattracted to a girl who wanted to have sex with me. It happens.
>>22873094
This was not the case, as we attempted to have sex a little later after he realized he was blowing his chance to lose his virginity.
It didn't go well either.
>>22872362
embarrassing part: I went back to work with cum on my khakis
>did it turn you on to just get on your knees and suck the big cock?
I didn't know what to do when he pulled it out.
>do you do this often?
no
>>22872438
He was dark
>>22873073
how autistic can he be if he fucked three girls right after he broke up with you
batman is the shit btw. if you can't make him harder than batman does you don't deserve that D
>>22873142
No clue. But you're probably right. I mean I've been dateless for 3 years, I'm obviously hideous or something. Not arguing that I'm an ugly sack of shit who doesn't deserve any dick lol, because I am. I've accepted my fate, just sharin the funny story man. Whats up your ass about it?
>>22873343
Aww, you shouldn't be so down on yourself, there's plenty of us out here who struggle with love or sex just as bad. Hell my one sexual encounter failed when I apparently got the wrong condoms and she was like yeah w/e peace, and I'm 25.
>>22873373
I feel ya. I'm just aiming to be attractive enough to have even a 0/10 approach me irl and try to flirt with me. Like I'm not joking its been a barren wasteland the past 3 years, despite my efforts to put myself out there, and I never used to have any issues with bounce back. Guess that shit changes after high school.
>>22873141
This thread has gotten boring...Lol
>>22873404
If guys aren't approaching you, it's not because you're ugly. It's because you're giving off the "do not approach" vibe.
>>22873448
Fuck me, I'd like to fuck that clevage... got some baby oil?
>>22873343
relaaax, it was mainly cuz your story was funny and easy to poke fun at. you're probably not as ugly as you say you are. you'll get some dick in no time
>>22873404
I'm sure you're not that bad, sounds like you're just equally as unlucky as me. We just gotta keep getting out there, and always strive to improve. Hell if you're in southern ny I'd come fuck ya right now, so there's atleast one person out here who'd be into ya.
>>22873452
I'm chubby/fat lol. I'm not going to be anything but a pity/lol fuck anyways, which is basically my only standard right now. Working on it, but probs not gonna be fuckable for a year or so. Unless I just radiate the "do not approach" vibe naturally idk what I'm doing wrong. I smile at people, act friendly, make eye contact, etc. Just no bites.
>>22873486
>>22873509
Ah gotcha bro. Problems of text posts, hard to read the attitude and such lol. We cool man.
>>22873522
Eh, not to shit on your offer or anything because I do appreciate it but, it's easy to attract people online ya know. Real life gets more complicated, it's the real challenge. Chicks who get hit on at bars and parties are the envy of my life. Like I just wanna be that girl just once lol. Plus at this point I'm like, dammit I'm so late in the game now it's gonna be weird that I'm so inexperienced and act like a fucking high schooler about sex. I guess I at least have this slight experience in blowjobs and handjobs. But still it was one guy.
.
.
Anyways that being said I have another story about my ineptitude in sex, babby's first time time touching a dick ever, if anyone's interested.
>>22873587
There are guys who are into chubby/fat women. And not for pity or lol fucks. My point is, unless you're genuinely hideous, in a way that makes people actually stare at you, it's not that you're too ugly.
>>22873343
>>22873587
post pics bae
>>22867344
I have the same story, but I was the one being eaten out and we didn't know our friend wasn't asleep.
>>22873587
Yeah, trust me I get it. Everyone wants to be desired, especially so for girls who have it socially ingrained into them. You had a bf once, so I'm sure you'll find another interested party. I'm on that coins reverse there, imagine everyone expecting you to approach and lead but you have no idea wtf to do, let alone have any sexual experience.
We need more stories, or tits lol, keep this thread going.
>>22873630
I feel ya. It's one of the reasons I'm damn greatful to be a grill, its more socially acceptable for me to not want the lead. Story coming in a new post if the thread lives long enough.
Me and my boyfriend were into some kinky shit and he'd like me to dress up for him. I was in a school girl skirt, white button up and a garter belt and stockings. He liked to dominate so he tied me up. My arms were tied to the two top corners of the bed and my legs were spread wide, tied to the bottom two. My skirt was pulled up, panties pulled down and shirt unbuttoned to reveal my tits. Then he walked away (he likes making me wait). As I'm tied up..his dad walks in
>Be 16 ish, but late 16.
>Been with bf for a couple months, shit starting to escalate more and more when we're alone.
>He's rubbed me a few times before, but I was still too shy to let him touch me directly so only through panties.
>Heavily making out, wondering if I should start returning the favor.
>fuck it lets go
>goes for the belt, first obstacle. Can't get the fucking belt undone. Taking too long and I start to panic and considered aborting
>Think his dick sensed the near abort because he ripped off his belt himself pretty quickly. (We joked about this later and I hated that belt so much so it got to the point where any time I came over he just took it off immediately)
>unzip, second dumbshit panic of what to do next, do I just whip it out? Is that too fast? How do I penis? Opts to just kinda tease him and fondle it through boxers.
>third dumbshit thing, pull it out through the fucking boxer hole thinking thats what I was supposed to do. Awkwardly jack it like that for a minute before he pulls it out properly.
>Ok, smooth sailing from here right? Giving a handjob isn't rocket science.
At this point I'd like to note I was a pretty sexually sheltered child. I never really watched porn or masturbated much until this experience, and my school's sex ed only covered our own parts, therefore I knew literally nothing about dicks.
>After a while, get the 4th dumbshit panic of "Is this taking too long? Am I doing it right? Shouldnt he have cum by now?"
>Feels precum
>"OH, he came so I'm done right?"
>completely stop everything
>apparently he was really close too.
>He takes over and finishes on my arm a couple seconds later.
And that was my first experience with a dick ever, and oh how embarrassed I am about it now.
Handjobs are one of the biggest things I miss. I really liked just playing with his dick later on when I got gud at it. It was fun.
No one cares about stories
>>22873774
I care about stories, it's always interesting hearing people recant what's happened to them. Tits are nice to though, just a different nice.
>>22873700
Lol, oh no. Sounds like a porno gone wrong.
>>22873756
Interesting to hear the female pov, I remember the only time I ever touched a girl I was just so taken by surprise on how soft and smooth her skin was.
I fucked this guy I met off line a while ago he picked me up started grabbing my tits on the way to the hotel he got when we got to the hotel he was drinkin and we start makin out hes sucking on my tittie finger fucking me and he cant even fit one finger and i told him ive only had sed a few times so anyway im giving him head for a solid 20 min he sticks it in blood everywhere and hes like 'honestly biggiest turn off' and this was a hotel with mirrors everywhere straight up sex hotel anyway i hop in the shower and i give him head in the shower and switch to the bed and this goes on for an hour and then he drives me home and On the whole ride he talks about how its his biggiest turn off and it was just really awkward lol
>>22873807
lol glad you enjoyed it. It's always been a cringy but funny experience for me looking back. Cuz like, dicks are supposed to be easy and yet I still was mostly guessing about half of it.
Again though, I think thats the best part about being in a relationship for me, is being comfortable enough to just lay in bed and let me fuck around with his dick all day. Don't think I can do that with just hook ups and one night stands. Gotta get straight to the action for that stuff ya know.
>>22873864
Basically my cherry popped and this dude couldnt understand thats something I couldnt help and talked so much shit
>>22873882
He's a simpleton. Hopefully you found someone better.
>>22873864
>>22873882
That sucks girl, sorry to hear that.
>>22873875
Yeah, that's a level of comfort few hookups would afford ya I'd imagine. At least dicks only work one way right? Sounds like you were handeling it, lol puns, but just stopped prematurely.
>>22873756
Depending on how much you actually want attractiveness, being flirted with, and sex, I will give you one piece of advice you will actually have to listen to instead of brushing it off as a cliche you've heard 100 times; work out.
My sex life went from 100 to 0 REAL fast a few years ago. Just recently I was closing in on 3 years of nothing sexual at all after being used to having sex nearly every day. I finally couldn't take it anymore and decided the only way I was going to end my dry spell was, for the first time in my life, decided to take working out very seriously.
I knew literally nothing about working out at all and 100% of my knowledge is self-taught by reading things online and watching videos and getting workouts from YouTube channels.
After several months it finally paid off and I got laid for the first time in forever about a month and a half ago. Every single time I work out, 100% of my motivation comes from sex drive. I always end up looking at pictures of people I find hot before and during my workout and think "I'm doing this to be able to seduce them." I just passed a year of working out and my game has never been stronger.
If you really want it, you'll do it.
>>22873940
I'm already ahead of ya dude. I eat as few calories as I can and do about 2 hours of light cardio 3 times a week. 2 years ago I was 180 lbs, now I'm at 135. I'm trying to get into the teens.
Though the problem I'm facing is I do not want to gain muscle, like at all. My goal isn't really just to lose weight but become smaller in general. So I've put a lot of focus into diet, but still hit the gym whenever I can. I just don't wanna go overboard because I don't want the muscle. If you have any tips on that I'd appreciate it though, losing weight without gaining muscle, or even better losing muscle.
>>22872550
Just tell something man!
>>22874001
Well damn, you would have an easy time getting into really good shape then, you're not heavy at all. However you don't want to NOT build muscle, or especially lose it. I will admit I'm much less knowledgable about how girls work out because it IS supposed to be different from guys. However, from my understanding; building muscle inherently burns fat. You don't not want muscle, you just don't want it in the wrong place; aka your upper body. THAT is what makes you look manly. Having muscles in your legs, butt, abs, and even back will make you incredibly sexy; think about it, the sexiest girls are toned, not just skinny.
Also, losing weight isn't about starving yourself. I mean, by definition, burning more calories than you eat will make you lose weight, but you NEED food to build muscle.
Essentially protein is just super important. Every person EVER that I've found who is into fitness tells me the same thing: you have to eat 1g of protein per pound of body weight per day. AKA you weigh 135 pounds, so you should aim to eat 135 grams of protein every day. Our muscles are 25% protein so it's a pretty big deal. It's pretty easy to reach if you just know what to eat. Chicken in general (Breasts especially) is the king of all food in protein. Milk is also amazing if you like it (128g of protein in 1 gallon). Fish, rice, peanut butter, pasta, some breads, and cheese all have absolute dick tons of protein. Just start reading labels on things you eat, it takes a couple of seconds to do the math. It also makes it much easier if you get protein shakes, this is the exact one I use and it's god damn delicious.
Also, the guy I follow for my workouts says you need to work out a minimum of 4 days a week, but he recommends 5. However, you don't need to go as long as you're going right now. He says you should never really go over 1 hour per workout, so we're talking MAX 5 hours a week here to get in shape.
>>22874001
>>22874092
In summary, I think the huge main points of working out that I've learned are:
1. Work out 4-5 days a week, consistently, but shoot for 30-45 minute workouts, 1 hour max.
2. Eat 1g of protein per pound of body weight per day. Also cut out all sugars and sodas that you can; that alone will have a huge impact.
3. Sleep at least 7-8 hours EVERY night. Your body produces HGH (Human Growth Hormone) and testosterone when sleeping, but only when you get enough sleep, and both are hugely important in growing muscle. You also need to sleep that long to repair muscles after a work out.
That's pretty much it: Work out consistently, eat a lot of protein and not a lot of sugar, and get sleep. Other than that I would just find a good YouTube channel to get workouts from. I cannot guarantee how good they are at all, but I'm attempting to get a girl friend of mine into working out recently and I did research on YouTube channels for women's fitness, and I liked this one the most based on how the owner's body type is, and how the channel is all about going hard.
.com/user/charliejames1975
OK so it isn't exactly sex, more me walking in on my parents having sex
>come home, kinda drunk
>midnight
>parents have the door open
>have to walk by their room to get to mine
>walk by
>see parents getting it on, dad is facing me
>dad calmly gets up, ass naked
>walks over to the door
>offers high five, I of course refuse
>he shuts the door
>go back out to finish getting drunk
>>22874001
Oh also this style of working out is called HIIT or High-Intensity Interval Training, which basically means intensive workouts with short breaks between sets, which turns the workout itself into cardio. So I'd look for HIIT when looking for workouts. It also is what keeps trips to the gym so short which is so nice.
>>22874092
Fair enough, but to me the ideal body for a woman and for myself is just tiny, skinny, no muscles. Like if I'm being honest, I'm seriously starting to think I'm developing some anorexic tendencies, but I'm choosing to ignore it until I reach my weight goal. At least I acknowledge and am aware of it I guess lol.
But that's just my ideal body image. Not quite a skeletor, but just a couple steps up. Like think the cliche image of Asian women. Tiny body structure and thin, but fragile looking. Now I can't do much about the curse of the hourglass figure, but I can at least drop as much weight as I can. Plus I still have a muffin top and the pouch that I can't seem to fucking lose. IDK where I lost all that weight from, because I lost none of it from my stomach.
My thighs are way too fucking big and just make me look fat, not toned or fit imo too, so I'd kill to make them smaller. Plus I have stretch marks on my thighs that rub together and bleed and scab when I run or walk too much. Need to get them to stop touching as much as I can, but I get my hip alignment is a part of that too.
>>22867149
Damn girl you have like the biggest fucking balls ever. Brofist.
>>22874275
I'm guessing you're aiming to get HWP. How tall are you? And even though you aren't into the idea, lots of girls would kill for an hourglass, and lots more guys would kill for a girl with some hips and a butt.
> Over at my girlfriend's folks house. We are watching True Blood.
> Girlfriend gets super horny from this show, the opening theme is enough to get her wet.
> Her folks are in the next room over sleeping.
> We end up fucking on the living room floor.
> I am terrified of them walking in on us.
> She loves it.
> Most awkward orgasm ever.
> My girlfriend and I are settling down for the night.
> I take my sleeping medication.
> Girlfriend is feeling horny, we start messing around.
> I'm on top when the meds hit my system.
> I fall asleep still inside my girlfriend.
Last one for the night
> Having sex with old friend from high school.
> Missionary position on my sister's couch.
> No condom, so I pull out when I am about to cum.
> I end up ejaculating in her eye.
> Had no idea semen could launch that far.
> The rest ends up on the couch, so we flip the cushion over.
> Next day, hanging out at my sister's with my friend, and my mother.
> My mom is sitting on the cum cushion. My friend and I exchange a very awkward look.
>>22874275
Now I'm genuinely curious to see what you look like. Post pic?
>>22873774
I like stories! I'm interdasted in seeing this big khaki butt of legend. Pics?
Background
>be 13 kissless virgin
>horny af
>beta af
>fall in love with cousins bf
>she's like 14 months younger than me, but two grades
>AIM for about 2 years, act the opposite of my self irl
>she loves me
We finally hang out in person
>6 hours of cuddling
>finally kiss her
>hour of making out
>start fingering her
>take off all her clothes
>go down on her virgin pink
>the feels
>never take off any clothes
>brush teeth and wash face
>she gets dressed
>is 10pm and she's in a fuck load of trouble
>she moves even further away (like every other green text story)
>massively fuck things up and input see her once again
>we still love each other, I'm married and she resents me for picking my wife over her
>I consider an hero or divorce daily
>this story got way off topic
>>22876130
make her a side chick and give her two kids.
just weird
>married
>wife and I have decent sex life
>one day we decide to play with food
>have grapes
>put grape in her pussy, lick it out
>she says it feels good
>inevitably one grape slips in too far
>need to put my fingers in to get it out
>not happening
>keep trying
>wife enjoying it immensely
>I'm sweating bullets envisioning a trip to the ER
>even suspect she's inhibiting retrieval of said grape
>she cums twice
>finally able to scoop it out
>now when she wants sex she says "want to hide the grape tonight?"
>>22876149
Did that for a while. Pretty sure that fucked up the rest of both of our lives.
I won't leave my wife, despite knowing or marriage truely makes me miserable. Beta/10.
She believes I'm the only man who can make her happy, so she'll never allow herself to be happy.
>be 16
>relatively sheltered/nerd, so somewhat beta but...
>guitar player at HS
>girls love that shit
>get first girlfriend
>Christfem from Christfag family
>thinks I'm going to marry her
>kek
>Dating, meet parents, all that shit
>Her Stepdad's a guitarist in his spare time
>Thinks I'm pretty cool for a while
>Until she starts getting all close to me, handholding and cuddling in front of their TV, kissing etc.
>Decides to give her a lesson on how sinful men are
>Waits till I go home
>Asks her for a hug
>Mid-hug, tells her that even though she's his 'daughter', he's 'already getting an erection'
>she tells me at school the next day.
>mfw I'm apparently cockblocking my gf's stepdad
Still, lost my v-card to her after we kept seeing each other on the sly. To my surprise (at the time) no hymen. Thought nothing of it, but she had some pretty big dad issues from early life. Came in her a bunch of times, no pregnant, felt so good. Dropped her when she became a bucket of issues.
Now 26, she's married and a fucking whale with two kids and a manlet husband.
I know it's not an awkward sex story, but reading all these I've remembered how fucked up it seemed at the time. Like, who can't hug a girl without getting hard? Much less a family member?
>>22866856
>about to lose virginity
>fuck yeah
>having sex on couch
>"oh shit, my dad is in the next room, this is dumb, we need to move"
>ok let us do that
>move into kitchen, start having sex again
>this is cool
>hear a little bell
>don't think much of it
>realize that dog sleeps with gf's dad, has bell on collar
>dad walks around corner
>hello darkness my old friend
>frantically pull my pants up, pretty mortified this guy saw my dick
>he walks out of room
>gf says to wait in dining room
>i do that, start pacing, think life is over
>she comes into the room, throws two condoms at me, and tells me her dad says to finish upstairs
>too much of a puss to do that, the fear made my dick go inside my body
>find out later he video taped her and her past partners having sex in the upstairs game room
>what the fuck
>>22873073
Where do you live?
Got one from this weekend if anyone is still lurking.
Some context, the group of people i went to go visit were my best friends from grade 7-10 and then i moved 2 hours away and we hang out now that we have all graduated.
One of my friends(J) claims to have fucked one of our other friends(D) sister, idk if thats true or not but he definitely has feelings for her. He brings her over to the get together their having and she seems pretty bored. Just sitting there. So here goes me. (I'd been smoking weed and drinking since 3:30 pm. Its around 12-1 am now)
>Asked her to go get me some water
>she refuses but in a playful way
>dick starts to get tingly and continue to insist she go get me water
>Finally gives in and goes to get it, brings it back to me and i say "good girl, thanks"
>Ohshit.jpeg, did i just say what i was thinking
>She kinda cuts her eyes at me and sits down
>Fuck i blew it
>Sit awkwardly but realize she keeps looking up at me, theres fucking hope.
>Everyone else goes to garage to play bp leaving us alone in the living room.
cont?
>>22876475
Why stop?
>>22876481
u rite
>>22876475
>She's just sitting on her phone
>I keep staring at her. 8/10 Face 10/10 body. Blondie too, my favorite. No way in hell she's gonna wanna do anything with me
>fuck it again
>dont really remember much but i offered to smoke her out, she's like "i already smoked"
>"ok fine , stay there will i get fookin ripped" (lame as fuck i know)
>She follows me outside
fuck ye
>fast forward some hours
>we are sitting on couch next to each other. have been laughing/talking/flirting ever since we came back from smoking.
>get number/snapchat/and insta
>everyone comes back in
>J asks if he is gonna take her home
>She nods
>I tell her i wish i could see her again but im leaving back home tomorrow
>she becomes visibly upset, says she wishes i could go home with her
>brains run wild. how can i pull this one off
>tell her my friend(B) and i will take her home. We know the mom though so i was afraid it would be weird
>we get there and just drop her off bc scared, but then she texts me "my mom is actually upset you didnt stay"
>come back immediately
>both me n B are staying the night. 3some?
>turns out shes only interested in me
>Fucking in same room as B while he plays mw3
>(we were all in a COD clan(s) together for YEARS) iNCLUDING THIS girls older brother who is our friend but moved states away
>end up fucking all night, B eventually goes home and leaves me there
>continue fucking until 7 am when her little brother walks in.
>tfw its his room
>tfw he just stops, then slowly backs out closing the door
>mfw fucking for hours and shes cum buckets and i havent even goten close except for when we were interrupted
>her fucking body is amazing.
>plot twist
>I live two hours away, she is now in love with me
>Im best ever and everything shes dreamed about
>her mom is also into me. As she insisted i come see her before i left, messaged me on facebook asking for my number, and insisted we snapchat. She also walked in on us lying in bed together.
>>22876508
TL;DR, fukt my bros little sister, who one of my other bros is in love with who the rest of my bros wish they could have fucked. We have all known this girl since she was a 6-7th grader. Shes a sophomore/junior? And i could possibly be fucking his mom. who we all have also known and she would let us come over and run wild. airsoft wars, sleepovers, etc. pretty weird turn of events.
> Me over at Vietnamese girlfriends house.
> Commence sexing.
> Her mom comes into the house, we can't hear.
> Mom walks in on me and girlfriend.
> She screams.
> Pan back to me pulling her daughters hair and fucking her doggy style.
>>22870512
good moral compasses on 4chan i see
>>22876722
Nah, in real life. No fucks given about it being on 4chan.
>>22876816
i meant irl brah
>be me @21...ish maybe
>has boyfriend
>my ex in the army comes home for leave
>his wife cheated on him hardcore got knocked up
>he feels useless
>we never fucked back in the day cause high school
>asks me to go to the movies
>make out in his car for an hour
>not bad
>drops me off at my bf's
>canicomein.jpeg
>sure no one's home
>lame foreplay
>tried to eat out
>dry as fire wood despite his saliva
>sticks it in
>pumps twice
>came on my leg
>ok bye.
I cheated on that particular ex like a million times. I don't even include this as part of my cheating. Just being a bro cause he was sad and he wanted to feel better about himself. Still really good friends with him actually. I've never told him what a disappointment that night was.
>>22876924
Brah, brah, I didn't know brah.
Anyway, I have my morals that I believe in. I don't care what you're banging, as long as its not being hurt or forced in anyway, and you shouldn't be getting animals for the intent of being used for sex.
>>22874275
Please post some pics, blur the face if you want to.
>>22877080
>I've never told him what a disappointment that night was.
Never do. Don't want to tar everyone with the same brush, but the Army fucks people up. He could have some issues or whatever. You don't want to be responsible for opening that can of worms.
>be 18. virgin. hang out with best friend. she's in love with me. i don't know it.
>we get drunk, as always
>i want to go to town. we leave the house and go to the tramway.
>we wait for the tram. bored. cold. drunk.
>suddenly she grabs me and kisses me. we start to make out. feelsweird.
>i want her to stop, i guess. but i really want sex. but not like that. not with her.
>but she wants. she starts talking about going back to her house and fuck. i say no. she says yes, we go! i say no. she says yes. play that for some time.
>fucking tram still not here. cold. drunk. we go on. kiss some. argue some.
>finally she drags me home.
>still feels weird, but now i can't stop.
>we start to take clothes off. ok. first time. i can do this!
>put a condom on and somehow start.
>she's crazy wet. has been waiting for this for a year or so.
>i try. bed is too freakin soft. we keep sinking in and i keep slipping out.
>totally awkward. but we can't stop now.
>we descide to fuck on the floor. move to the carped.
>finally it works. i'm on top. not the sporty guy.
>still totally drunk. and she's so wet i can barely feel a thing.
>she comes. i can't.
>fuck it! i can't stop my first time without finishing.
>i takes me about an hour. the whole time i keep thinking "fuck that. that's what i waited 18 years for?"
>dick tries to get soft more than once. so i'm concentrating on staying hard. not that much fun too.
>finally she's not that wet anymore. and i somehow cum. badly.
>we tried it a second time. still was awkward. and then the condom broke. yay!
>>22876019
Because you asked. Those khaki pants got worn out years ago.
>>22878999
holy shit
>>22872623
that story was incredibly hot. I'd love to hear the stories of when you let them both fuck you.
Do you use kik? my kik is pyrofanity if you want to message me.
>be me, 24, m
>be bi
>be curious about tgirls
>meet tgirl on CL
>set up a meeting at local bar about
>20 mins from house
>meet
>looks fatter than pictures(not too bad tho)
>talk for hour or so
>decide to go back to her place and get down
>walk in front door making out
>she takes off my shirt
>I take off hers
>mostly real bigger boobs
>move to bedroom
>there's a guy in the bed
>"hey baby. Is this the guy? "
>"yep. Ooh... Anon... You don't mind if my bf watches do you?"
>"uuuuuuuuuuummmmm... I guess not...? "
>start fucking her
>guy is beating off
>NOT JERKING OFF...BEATING OFF...SLAPPING HIS BALLS AND DICK WITH A PADDLE, FLOGGER AND WHAT LOOKED LIKE A BLACKJACK...
>I stop paying attention as best I can BC is killing my boner.
>when I'm not looking and fucking her dogstyle he comes up behind me and starts kicking my asshole
>"woah dude. I'm not into men, just tgirls."
>he freaks the fuck out
>"what the fuck you said you wouldn't bring him home if I couldn't fuck him too"
>they start screaming at one another.
>start getting dressed
>"where do you think you're going? "
>"uuuuuuuuuuummmmm... Home. "
>"no you're not you're gunna finish fucking her then it's my turn on you. That's the deal. "
>I'm 6'1" 210lbs
>he's 5'3" ~140lbs
>(know I could take this guy if he gets anything. Plus I have a knife in my pocket... If I can get to my pants... In the hall...)
>I say "this is over." And walk out of the bedroom.
Cont.
>>22878999
who's fatty is this
>>22879734
Learn to search by id's newfag
>>22879746
shit didn't read the whole goddamn tale man, just saw ASS - u feel me senpai?
>>22878999
more, pls more
>>22878999
Fucking magnificent, moar
>>22879669
>hurry to my pants
>grab knife
>put pants on with knife in hand
>hear rummaging and arguing
>her "no put that away. Just let him go."
>"fuck that. No one fucks my Bitch and just walls away. "
>door opens
>he is holding a fucking katana
>just get my belt on
> run down hall
>pick up shoes and shirt while running
> door locked and need a key to open it
>"you're not getting out until this is done. "
>see window to my left
> put shirt on quickly
>run at window
>jump thru
>fall down from 2nd story on top of her car
>arms bleeding a lot. Tiny shards of glass all in my hair and arms.
>can't breathe BC I landed dead on my back.
>start stumbling away
>finally get to my car
>guy is running across the parking lot sword in hand
>get to car
>drive away
>finally get home
>get in bathroom and take the remaining glass out of my arm that I didn't get while I was in the car
>look at phone
>like 60 texts from this chick (I assume from the guy on her phone)
>"I'll find you you son of a Bitch"
>"you're mind you little fucker"
>"you better watch your back "
>"I'll put your #on Craigslist and have someone find you. "
>etc.
>I'm not worried BC it was a pinger # and I immediately deleted it
>once I feel like my bandages won't bleed
>I decide to go back out and have a drink
>not going far BC I don't want to run into this fucker
>go to gas station for a 6pack... The only one around that's open at 3am
>who's there?
>this fucking guy
>buying duck tape and garbage bags
>I assume for the window
>he sees me walk in...
>i see him
>run to car and speed away
>guy is literally chasing me
>lucky for my, old boy is driving his gfs crap-tastic crv with a newly broken windshield and I'm driving a slightly less shitty Mazda 6
Cont.
>>22879872
> I got away with relative ease once we got on the highway BC this thing just couldn't keep up
>finally decide home is a bad idea for a while
>go to a bar BC I decide that's safer than literally anywhere else in the world
>go to my regular waterhole
>stay for like 2 hours chatting up the bartender and the 2 or 3 people who are there every fucking night
>go home
>pass out
>3 months or so later i see them in Walmart
>guy looks straight at me and gives me an air lick
>I moved the next day
Let me start by saying this is a semi current thing and I see this girl occasionally don't know why ..
>Browsing Ok Cupid
>get message from girl
>pictures look ok not great
> talking for a bit then she wants to meet up that night
>meet up at the local beach she gets out of the car and she's fucking huge >talk for about an hour part of me wants to leave but didn't want to be rude I know fuck me right
>out of nowhere tells me she wants the dick
>haven't gotten laid in over a year so I say fuck it why not
>we hop in my car no ones around the beach
>both gets undressed and thank god it's dark in the car
>lay in the back seat throw on a condom and she tries to ride me
>crushed by the weight of a thousand suns
> tell her to get off
>jump into missionary can barely get it in far enough dick is only 5 1/2 inches admittingly
>struggle for a few minutes finally get in a groove
>wanna get out of there
>cum after 10 minutes
>put on our clothes and pile out of the car
>tells me I'm her first
>fuckmylife gif
>I hop in my car and leave later messages me with her number
> end up ducking every couple weeks
>hit my rock bottom
>>22878999
that's quite an asset you have. any way to contact you off here? I have an idea.
>>22879326
>>22879734
>>22879808
>>22879840
>>22879976
No love for my boobs or my awkward sex stories? I'm beginning to think you guys are all about one thing.
>>22876168
"Want to hide the grapes tonight?"
My sides have been scattered to the four corners of the world.
>>22880092
I think your boobs are fantastic and your stories are rather cringe worthy. I few a few in the same vein. Too bad it sound like you live a little too far away for us to ever have a chance to meet and have a little fun together. I' dove to get my hands on you. And my rope... If you're into that sort of thing.
>>22880092
Love the pics and stories, would love more of both
>>22880092
so no then?
>>22880399
Tell me an awkward sex story please
>>22880424
I once told this chick with impressive tits that I wanted to fuck her cleavage, and she totally ignored me. It was awkward as hell.
>>22866856
>18 yo
>party at my place
>lots of people, we drank, smoked, listened to blasting music
>3am-ish, people started heading home
>me, my best friend, and his sister were the only ones left
>he passed out on my bed, was too drunk to go home
>i laid down on the other side of the bed (as far as i could go)
>his sister laid down between us
>couple of minutes later I suddenly felt her tits rubbing against my arm
>she start petting my chest/stomach area (she was doing something weird)
>started licking my ear, and biting it
>it quickly escalated into making out, undressing, and then she was on top of me
>we fucked for about 45-50 minutes (no condom) while her brother was lying down next to us
>then I came inside her and we passed out right after
Next morning was the awkwardest day of my life since he probably knew what happened.
Me and my best bro didn't talk much after that, and his sister did her best to avoid me at all times.
Told my boyfriend while losing my virginity
'My precious, youre ripping me from the inside' In Smigel's voice
>>22880439
It's not awkward unless you make it awkward. I assume you're a virgin then, yeah?
>1. When my mom caught us
>>2. Road head disaster
>3. The park
>4. Friendly dorm
New option
>>5. "I found your nudes"
>>6.Big ass and tight khakis -- how I could never work in the food court again
>7. Let's all go to the movies
I've fucked two women who's pussys were so loose I couldn't cum. It was like fucking a open oven: Yeah it was hot but you are not going to make anything that way.
>>22880744
>>22880765
tried twice, I give up.
>>22880864
You didn't really try. If you want to start a tinychat I'm game for the next half hour
>>22880878
email me really quick:
guythatlikesyourbutt [at] uwebmail [dot] info
>be 15 years old
>meet 20 y/o guy on /b/
>find out lives hour and a half away
>wants to meet
>fuck it
>end up dating for nine months
>lose my virginity at 16 to 21 y/o bf
>never use a condom
>never get pregnant
>break up
>he cries about it and threatens to send me flowers every day for the rest of my life????
>mfw I was dumb as fuck as a teenager
Not really a sex story but
>>22880765
Let's hear about the park. I've loved reading your stories so far and from the gifs you've posted you're pretty hot. I have a couple stories I might post later too
>Up in da club in line for the bathroom
>My feet hurt
>This girls materializes out of the darkness and stuffs a napkin into my hand before vanishing back into the shadows
>I reflexively drop it because I think it's a period rag or something
>Engage in a 4 minute drunken exchange with the guy behind me about what that napkin could possibly be
>Locate girl and ask what fuck
>"I usually dundo theese butteye jus gabe yoo my noomber"
>Holy shit the most german accent ever
>It sounds like Ms. Piggy doing a Hitler impression
>3am and I live with my mom so I have to improvise a public place to fuck
>She sucks my dick in a hotel staircase, a McDonalds bathroom, and a Duane Reade because I realized I forgot to bring condoms
>Buy condoms, old brack lady flashes a black and gold smile at us both and says "Have fun"
>Girl is mortified
>We break into a district office building through and fuck on the 16th floor hallway
>I told the security guard who caught us that we must have mistaken it for a hotel
>He lets us go because he'd be in deep shit if anyone found out we got in so easy
>She calls me a psycho, I call her crazier for fucking me
>Get Mcdonalds
>Feet still hurt
Ok here's an embaressing one.
>my ex and I had the house to ourselves
>we started out with a sensual massaging
>she gets on top of me
>her vag can't handle it.
>she wants to finish me off
>won't suck my duck
>gives me a handy
> I'm laying on my back
> just as I'm cumming she points my dick upwards
>my own fun hits me in the face
To;dr My exgf gave me a facial with my own cum.
>be me
>be 25 in 2006
>ragingAlcoholic.jpg
>moved back to my hometown for uni
>out at the club getting my drink on
>bump into the girl I cheered with in high school
>I was a senior on varsity when she was a sophomore on JV
>girl is a Amazon. Gorgeous dance major at another university
>when I say Amazon, she's as tall as me (6'2" 189 cm)
>fit dancer body
>did I mention she's gorgeous?
>so I drunkenly bump and grind with her on the dancefloor
>she goes off to talk to some other dude
>I slur my words and let her know she's coming home with me
>we leave bar
>drive home pretty wasted
>get her in the shower with me
>there's a glass bottle in the shower
>we are two huge people trying to makeout in the shower
>I knock the glass bottle over
>shatters
>cut my foot
>fuck it, let's just go fuck
>get to my room
>start to makeout and shit
>piv.webm
>door to bedroom swings open
>"Anon, is everything okay?"
>I failed to mention I lived with my parents
>"Mom, gtfo!"
>continue to fuck
>pass out still inside her (I think)
>parents were kind enough to be gone in the morning
>drive Amazon home
>silence.ISO
>drop her off
>"okay, I'll call you later."
>never speak again
Pic related. Amazon qt3.14 in high school
>>22881848
Did you at least swallow?
>>22881881
>I cheered with
uuuhhh no thanks
>>22881888
Lol no
>>22881848
Honestly, if you're getting handjobs while lying down with any regularity, this is bound to happen.
>>22880765
Movies movies movies!
>>22878999
thank you! thank you! thank you!
you bum is very big, and I like :D
>>22880092
>I'm beginning to think you guys are all about one thing.
yes, i want it on my face an cock. dont worry, ill be good to you.
>>22881005
why did you guys break up?
you're single handedly the best thing that happened to him even if he wins the lottery of life
My girlfriend was giving me a blowjob in the closet of my dorm apartment (we didn't have the bedroom to ourselves at the time), and I was pushing her head down onto my shaft with my hands, and I guess I was a little too forceful because she threw up all over me. I could see puked up ramen noodles on my dick, it was horribly gross and totally killed the mood for both of us.
A few years later she threw up while giving me head again, spewed rainbow colored chewable candy mush all over my cock. This time was her fault, I wasn't touching her or anything, she just pushed herself a little too hard. Wasn't nearly as traumatic the second time, so she kept going down on me until I came in her mouth. Then she reflexively spit out my load right there, so I wound up with chewed up candy and cum all over my stomach.
A while after that, we were really in the mood to fuck but didn't have any condoms, so I decided to fuck her in the ass. We'd only successfully done anal twice before, and she was hesitant because she didn't feel physically ready for it at the time, but we were both really horny so we did it anyway. Goes really well for a few minutes, I can feel her inner muscles pushing back against me and they feel even tighter than usual. Suddenly, right after I pull out for one of my thrusts, a whole mess of shit comes out too. It happens too quick for me to stop myself from thrusting back in. At that point it's too late to keep my dick clean, and even though I'm more disgusted than I've ever been in my life, I keep fucking her until I climax. We didn't do anal again for a long time after that.
A few weeks ago, I was fucking my current girlfriend in the ass, and we were going at it for over an hour. I really needed to use the bathroom but I didn't want to pull out before my third orgasm, so I pissed in her ass. (Told the story in a lot more detail on the anal thread a few days ago.)
tl;dr I've dealt with a lot of really gross stuff during sex
>be 17 at the time
>girlfriend is 16
>group of us (about 12 of us) go to friend's beach cottage for the night
>small place so we're crushed for space
>gf and I lucky enough to get a cot. it's barely big enough for one person
>after night of drinking we're all laid out for sleeping.
>basically 4 people in the bedroom, 8 of us in the living room
>middle of the night spooning with gf
>hand reaches around and start massaging her breast
>she pushes back against me
>start kissing her neck. she a sucker for neck kissing
>moans a little. tell her to be quieter
>more kissing, boob grabbing
>undo her shorts and slide them down
>>feel her pussy. nice and wet
>pull my shorts down and slide in from behind her
>little grunts and moans as much as we're trying to be quiet
>she squeeks a little and clamps down on my cock
>that sends me over the edge too
>pull clothes back up and fall asleep
>wake up the next morning
>friend comes over to me
>"you totally fucked anonette last night."
>" you're crazy. we wouldn't do that"
>"dud, we all listened to you do it. everyone heard"
since most of my friends were kissless virgins at the time I was considered a god among men
>>22882156
since this anon brought it up, i'll tell my piss enema story again
>have been dating girl for a few months
>girl is pretty kinky. willing to try anything
>have done anal with her
>one night at my place I'm inside her ass
>she whispers to me that she wants me to give her a piss enema
>I'll try anything at least once
>keep fucking her until I cum
>wait a second or two so hard-on softens
>start pissing into her ass
>she says it feels nice and warm
>run out of piss and start to pull out
>I expect to pull out, her ass to close and all be good
>does. not. work. that. way.
>as soon as I pull out her ass becomes a liquid shit fountain
>she screams and jumps out of bed
>she runs to the bathroom trying to squeeze her butt cheeks together to stem the rancid flow from her ass
>she fails and leaves little Hansel and Gretel shit crumbs all the way to the bathroom
>I grab the sheets, wipe myself off and throw the sheets into a trash bag for incineration
>meanwhile she's in my bathroom
>it sounds like a bear is drowning in my toilet
>few minutes later she comes out while I'm on my hands and knees trying to disinfect my carpet
>she mumbles "sorry", puts her clothes on and leaves
>never answers my calls or texts
>refer to her to my friends as "rocket ass" but never explain why
>>22882216
Thankfully that didn't happen to me. I pissed inside her for about a minute straight and came inside her three times, and she was still able to keep it all in until she got the bathroom.
She was pretty damn upset about it, though. She asked point blank "Anon, did you piss in my ass?!" when she got back from the bathroom, knowing full well that I couldn't deny it after she'd been shitting out my piss for several minutes. Fortunately, she didn't stay mad for long because I'd given her 5 or 6 anal orgasms and she agreed it was worth it for a full hour and a half of buttsex.
>>22880878
Oh my goodness, I don't understand how you can be that stacked. You're beautiful, like damn....
>>22882241
Hell... 90 minutes of sex requires a piss break some time/somewhere.
Once had sex with a girl that had severe daddy issues, wanted to call me daddy and stuff.
Not really weird, but considering she was raped by her dad, which turned her on, I still got the creeps from it.
Pic is her, doesn't matter had sex
>>22882941
post more! also was she still in contact with said dad?
jesus if a girl kept calling me daddy while fucking her in be a daddy in nine months
Not nearly as fucked up as some of the shit on here but:
Knew a guy who was fucking these two sisters, older one knew while the younger one (who he was dating) didn't. Was in the Sam class with the younger in high school but only found out about this years later.
I'll post more detail and pics if people are interested
>>22880878
So did it happen? Sad I missed it if it did
>>22882216
Lmao! This is priceless! 1st rate! Awesome! She was a keeper.
> Meet a chick on social media.
> Be a bit depressed and lonely at the time.
> Get talking, a week in she suddenly tells me how she cuts and starves herself and is anorexic and avoids food and generally is a huge fucking mess despite being cute af.
> She has a boyfriend.
> Talks are still pretty intimate for a week or two afterwards.
> Get to talking about relationships and how they suck.
> "You should trust people more, not everyone is going to cheat on you."
> I imply she doesn't seem the type to have an affair.
> Things get weird, almost flirty, and start to develop.
> Book a hotel and fly to her city. Two full days of consistently fucking her, she loves every minute of it.
> Give her a gold plated 'nametag', keeping in with this subxdom thing we have going on.
> "I'll always remember you."
> Go back home, she goes back to bf.
> She's pregnant a few months later.
> Kid has my eyes.
> She's now engaged.
> Havent spoken in over a year.
> Still wears the nametag on herself sometimes in photos.
>Be about a week ago
>Bored virgin
>Want to feel the pucchi but relationships have gotten stale for me
>That said fapping has also gotten stale
>Go to CL
>Find someone, correspondence begins
>Never had much luck before, exchange numbers and wait til yesterday
>Yesterday cums and so do the both of us
>First some light playing, finger her til she cums
>Stick in my benis once I'm eshrekt
>Holy shit pussy feels pretty damn good
>Not worth the 18 years of hype though
>Pound that shit 'til I nut
>She's so slippery I don't have to worry about friction, pound that poon at lightning speed
>We are both the big cums
>She says I'm really good, asks how many partners I've had
>I say that I was a virgin
>She ends up talking about previous partners and shit
>I end up having a conversation when I could be pounding poon
>She starts talking about SJW shit
>Fuck she's one of THOSE
>Suck her tits and flick her clit 'til she's in the mood and her mouth words go from "prejudice, shallow, etc etc" to "Ooooh...ahhhhh...fuck"
>Pound the vag one more time until we're both big cums
>She cums a little before me
>Thank God because my hips are about to give out
>I cum one last load and we just lay down
>Feel her squeezing down on me
>Comfy.png
>Go to the kitchen, more awkward conversation
>I've busted my nut and want none of this
>Get her out
>Order a fleshlight
It's not the same, but it'll do.
>>22881157
Like some of my earlier stories, I was probably about 17 or 18 when this happened
>City park department wins a good chunk of undeveloped land
>Turn it into a really diverse and expansive park
>I start jogging during summer, no one is ever around
>I explore and go deeper into the park
>Find this perfect little meadow in the very back
>Secluded and silent with tall grass and wild flowers
>Tell bf I want to have a picnic
>Take some sandwiches and drinks, a little battery powered radio, a blanket, and a kite to the meadow
>He swiped a bottle of vodka from his mom and brought it along
>We start drinking out there by ourselves
>Start to fool around
>Strip each other down
>We start having sex
>Get sweaty quickly which makes it even better
>Start in missionary, he turns me on my side and lifts my leg up
>I get on top of him and start moaning bouncing up and down on him
>Sound of my boobs hitting my chest, my moans, and the radio are the only sounds
>Eyes closed, drenched in sweat
>All of a sudden we hear laughter
>Open my eyes to see three 12 year old boys with their bikes standing about 20 feet away
>They started mocking us as we fumbled around to try and cover up then took off on their bikes, still cracking up as they rode off
>>22882044
>>22882283
you're too nice
>>22883867
nope
>>22879901
Holy fucking shit. You win dude. You absolutely win this thread.
>>22883700
interested
>>22880677
I love you.
>>22880765
I want to hear that khaki story.
>>22882003
>I'm an exhibitionist (obviously)
>I love to fool around in movie theaters and have been doing it for years
>Dress in comfy clothes that can easily be removed
>Yoga pants, short shorts, skirts, sports bras that release in the front, no bra with a big hoodie, etc
>Less clothes but remaining covered is best
>Last year go and see some crappy movie at the end of it's run in the middle of a week day
>Just me and my bf at the time in the theater
>He's in shorts and a t-shirt
>I'm in running shorts with no lining and a thick front zip hoodie jacket thing with no shirt or bra
>Movie starts, we start making out
>He starts feeling me up
>Reach up the leg of his pants and start jerking him off
>Put arm rests up of the seats next to us, unzip my hoodie, pull my shorts to the side and make him start going down on me
>Says he wants to eat my ass
>Slip off my shorts, flip over and stick my ass in the air
>Kid working in the theater shows up with his flashlight just a minute or two later without us knowing
>Bf's face planted in my bare ass
>Kid worker yells at us to stop
>We both jump up...I'm pretty much completely naked at this point
>He watches as I get dressed, then has his manager escort us out of the theater
>Got banned from the theater for a year
>I've had to drive about 40 minutes out of the way to go see a movie in the theaters for the past year
>>22882216
>>start pissing into her ass
>>she says it feels nice and warm
>>run out of piss and start to pull out
>>I expect to pull out, her ass to close and all be good
>>does. not. work. that. way.
Oh god that's a keeper.
>>22883500
Second this, unf not enough girls with daddy issues.
>>22884431
>Friend of mine (we'll call him dan) was hooking up with the younger sister (right) since she was 16.
>kind of an on again off again thing which they kept secret cos her parents hated him
>she's really conservative compared to her sister but has a thing for him because he was her first
> her sister (left) leaves uni and comes back to live with her parents for a while
> she goes out clubbing a lot and dan takes her back to his place
> she doesn't know about him and his sister so they end up fucking
>kinky as fuck, lets him film it
> they send nudes for a while, the whole time he's still been fucking her sister
>eventually she finds out,obviously pissed, he threatens to show her sister the tape
> she agrees to keep fucking him if he never tells anyone
> he gets to fuck both of them pretty much whenever
> told us how one time he spent all of Sunday morning fucking the older one while the younger was at church, then fucked the younger when she got back making sure her sister could hear
>didn't end when he went to uni as he would call up both of them when he was back in town
>younger one still doesn't know and the older one obviously keeps her mouth shut
>>22884506
>I've had to drive about 40 minutes out of the way to go see a movie in the theaters for the past year
Kek
>>22866856
Pic related, represents me, you'll understand when you read
>be 17 at gfs b-day party
>all fucked on alcohol, MDMA, Shrooms and weed
>I start pissing of my gf and she throws me upstairs and puts me to bed
>in bed with three others also fucked
>1 couple and some other Bi guy
>bed is comfy and warm notmoving.jpg
>the bi guy starts touching my dick
>ohfuckmeno.jpg
>can't do anything, incapacitated
>i manage to utter out the slurred words "noooo"
>he brings his hand from under the sheet and puts it on my lips
>i think I’m getting raped
>two other people don't notice, must get them to help
>the cock rubbing gets faster and harder
>plz.jpg
>in a desperate attempt to flee i start making sexual noises and phrases
>"make me cum please" "uhhhhh yeah"
>please fucking god notice what is happening and question us
>he shuts my mouth
>but
>with his lips
>he starts using his tongue
>GodIsDead
>he stops, and goes under the sheets
>fucking guess what happens
>he pulls my trousers down, starts rubbing my cock again
>PLEASE CAN THE COUPLE ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT IS HAPPENING
>he pulls down my pants and a shiver goes up my spine
>he can see my dick oh god why
>feels a cold sensation on it, oh no
>it's in his mouth
>FFW yes that's right FFW he does this for a while
>I'm sadly, sadly, very fucking sadly, nearing climax
>"cunt" i manage to utter out
>i cum, in his mouth, he swallows it
>i actually cry
>he gets up and leaves the room
>i don't think he's "Bi" anymore
>cry myself to sleep
>wake up next morning, brush my teeth and wash out my mouth
>find gf, say sorry for being a dick whilst drunk, and kiss her goodbye
>i see him now and then at gatherings, i think he thinks i don't remember a thing
>i also never told my gf, i could never tell anyone in real life
i took my college roommates girlfriends virginity
>>22884946
>girlfriends
more than one just one guy?
>>22884732
Just imagine how much shit will hit the fan when that gets out to the younger one
>>22884972
*roommate's
*girlfriend's
>>22884732
thats hot, did you ever saw the film?
My only sexual experience, I'm in my 30's now.
>be 20ish, going to college but home for the summer
>AOL was the shit, used it all the time to try and have e-girlfriends.
>actually find a woman from my town
>pictures aren't bad.
>meet up
>wouldn't have noticed at the time, retrospect she may have been drunk
>chubby with gigantic tits
>spend like an hour fingering her because it's my first time getting a girl naked and i'm legit curious
>she wants me to stick it in, but no rubbers so I don't.
>She's trying to rub my dick but I can't get hard. Might have cum anyway.
>she spends the night, leaves before I wake up, we never talk again.
>>22884993
dont jinx it, we would both give up something of value or pay to be in that situation
>>22885002
good man, hope you were hitting it often. stories like this is why im over monogamy shit.
>>22885053
what, are you over weight or something...micro dick? go out and stretch some snatch. youre still young enough to even get 22-28yrs
>>22885089
it was more complicated than that i guess, he was actually a good dude and a friend but didnt fuck his girl despite the fact they'd been going out since 8th grade, i honestly didnt know it was like that and she blew up my spot randomly one night when she was hanging and he wasnt around
they got married and she shat out a kid
>>22885127
>she shat out a kid
are they still together, or did she do that to spite him and keep him around and tied around her finger...
>>22885218
theyre still together
>me having an internet domxsub thing going on with a guy
>me being insanely in love with him
>can't say no.
>ever.
>me develops an eating disorder over the course of a year while talking to Dom
>Dom loves anal play
>I don't
>But i like pleasing
>regularly overdosing on laxatives
>justanotherday.jpg
>Dom insists on skyping
>Dom insists on me fingering my ass
>Getting very uncomfortable
>I've spent the entire day on the toilet so i know there shouldn't be a problem
>Soon extreme urge hits
>Dart in bathroom
>leave webcam on
>Pooping water
>literally
>Crying on toilet
>run back in bedroom and shut lap top down
>Big poop-water stain on sheets
>Clean up everything while sobbing
>Take more laxatives and go to sleep.
>>22882073
Idk it was kind of mutual. There was actually a lot of crying from both of us.
I think I just wasn't really feeling I anymore and so we stopped seeing each other as much and he also told me I was "mean and awful all the time."
>>22886039
mhmmm
were you mean to him because he wasnt 'man' enough?
also what did he mean by you were mean and awful
>>22886097
Probably. That is actually how I felt a lot, that he wasn't man enough.
And I got would get annoyed with him so I was rude or mean or w/e, basically just acted annoyed bc I was and he was sensitive about it.
>>22884917
>all fucked on alcohol, MDMA, Shrooms and weed
lmfao you deserved it
>>22886140
by him not being man enough, was it him not calling you out when you were shit testing him. the way he interacted with others, or being a yesman(whatever the girl says goes)
id personally like to date someone much younger than me [m/26] and thats the only thing that bothers me. younger girls shit test A LOT! its almost ridiculous. though the bedroom time is almost worth it.
>>22886199
He was very much a yes man. I like a guy that is more dominant and "wears the pants."
He was very whatever I want all the time which sounds really nice, but it just wasn't.
He was very passive and not very assertive
He would do petty things that I would expect myself to do, not my bf. Like I remember one time he was telling me about this girl flirting with him, he was very clearly trying to make me jealous but I literally did not care because I knew there was no chance of him leaving me ever, unless it was what I wanted, and no chance in hell he would cheat on me.
Me not caring about that is probably also an example of how I was "mean and awful"
>>22886199
To be fair though I was actually mean sometimes did yell at him too and he just kind of either took it or got sad like a girl
>>22886286
>To be fair though I was actually mean sometimes did yell at him too and he just kind of either took it or got sad like a girl
this falls under shit testing. he should have called you on it. after reading all that cant really blame you for cutting it off. hope you find what youre looking for :D
would a guy spanking you for acting out turn you on? first it would start with the hand, then a paddle on your bare bottom, then belt/whip on bottom/thighs
>>22886342
Yeah totally.
That was another thing, I tried to get him to slap me but he would never slap me in the face Annoying.
>>22886371
>tried to get him to slap me but he would never slap me in the fac
by this im guessing youre a sub. nice!is that something youd like only during sex or at anytime.
not in an abusive way, and personally id only do this at home while we were in the mood and you were play games.
>>22870819
Fuck dude, I wish my GF would do that kind of shit out of nowhere.
>>22886453
Probably only during sex/at the right time. Never had anyone slap me when we weren't being sexual.
Although I did have a boyfriend who used to choke me until I would almost pass out. He would do this in public and other times we weren't being sexual.
I did like it at times, but that relationship was very toxic in general and so its hard to base what I would be okay with now on what I was okay with then.
>>22871968
Ah, the failure of monogamy in action.
>>22885275
That was kinda awesome of you, but did he know you where going to such lengths for him?
>>22886505
what is it with guys nowadays wanting to see their girls being fucked other guys. youre supposed to be that, not them.
>>22886506
its kinda alright right once youre doing it for sometime. would be nice to settle down, but then you'd get tired and want someone new.
nothing gets me harder than a pair of new panties being pulled down. or a real freak/sub who just wants to please you no matter what.
>>22886505
id like to try the choking thing sometime, but im really strong with large hands dont wanna end up with a murder on my hands :S
>>22886580
Well as long as you stop before she passes out/ right after uou should be fine. She will start breathing again once you let go. Just be safe about it and make sure you can BOTH tell when it's too much for her!!
I'm keking a gay married guy's husband.
It's way too awkward to get into unless somebody really wants to know.
Literally every sexual experience I've ever had was awkward. I'm an autistic pizza shit.
>>22884917
The real reason not to do drugs is so you don't shit your pants and end up in rapey situations.
It's not your fault that guy was a dumb faggot though. If you talk to a therapist then they wouldn't judge at all. I hope you are OK one day anon. That guy was a fucking faggot.
>>22886506
I'd call that the failure of a woman being a treacherous Whore personally.
>>22886749
>>22886506
See that's the thing. If the whore was monogamous or the monogamous guy was a whore then nothing would have failed.
>>22885089
>dont jinx it, we would both give up something of value or pay to be in that situation
You think that shit won't come out eventually? It absolutely will, it always does. The older sis will start to feel guilty, or he'll do something to piss her off, or the younger one will start to ask to get married, or he'll try to move on to something else, or he'll just fuck up and get caught. It's gonna happen
>>22885275
Dang girl you're a trooper.
Back in college, I moved into the only co-ed apartment on campus with my then-girlfriend. We ended up breaking up at the end of the first semester, but we were stuck living together for the entire second semester, and I started seeing someone new during that time.
One day, I'm going at it with my new girlfriend while we have the place to ourselves, when suddenly I hear someone come into the apartment and start unlocking my bedroom door. We don't have time to stop having sex or cover ourselves up, so my ex walks into the room to find us lying in bed naked, with my dick buried inside her cunt. She stands there in shock for a few seconds before leaving the room in a horrified panic and slamming the door behind her.
My ex never mentioned it to me or anyone else that I know of, I think we all kinda agreed to try and forget it ever happened. It was still one of the most awkward moments of my life, in or out of the bedroom.
First story. One of my good friends was having a small get together and his older sister and 2 of her friends were also there. One of his older sister's friends keep hanging around me all night, she was 23 and I was 18, she was like 7.5/10 face, 9/10 body. Anyway by like 4am most ppl were either sleeping or gone, so we start fooling around in my friends living room. About 10 mins in while I'm fucking balls deep inside this chick while she moaned we get interrupted by my friends older sister and the other friend because apparently the other friend took shrooms and was having a bad trip. Girl gets up and goes to take care of friend. Don't see her til next day after I wake up, she wouldn't make eye contact with me at all. Turns out she has a boyfriend. She still follows me on Instagram and I've seen her around the city like twice since. She even has a picture on Instagram from that night of her wearing my glasses.
Second story.
After high school grad, this one girl in my grade had a few of us at her step dad's cottage. Her older step sister and her own friends were also there that weekend. One of her step sisters friends was being like overly flirty and shit with everyone and eventually I get her in a room alone where we fuck. Night keeps going, everyone gets more drunk, I fuck her again, this time on the deck near the lake there. We walk back to the cottage when suddenly she starts puking and basically passed out from drinking too much, I carry her back and make sure to lay her down properly so she can sleep while I slept sitting in a rocking chair nearby. Next day she was up early and just dipped, apparently she was embarrassed that a high school senior basically had to "take care of her" (she was a college junior). Fun time lmao.
> With a girl for 4 years.
> Take AWHILE to cum.
> Even wanking it takes like a hour.
> Never once cum with her.
> Moment she orgasm's she's done.
> Wont even let me finish myself on her.
> At least she lets me stick it in her ass sometimes.
>current bf wants to try anal
>I did it once with my ex it was painful
>tell him to use a lot of lube
>bend over
>feel the cold lube
>he hardly puts it in
>wiggles for few minutes
>this is not too bad
>whispers "can I go a bit harder"
>just node like a retard
>he starts destroying my ass like an fucking animal
>sticks my head in the pillow i cant move nor scream
>can't breath
>he is raping my ass
>finally realises that i'm in pain
>stops and pulls it out
>my ass is starting to swollen
>i just rush to the bathroom to wash up
>rectum is red and painful
>cant shit for 2 days
>get scared and go to the doctor
>tell him my problem
>asks how it happened
>just say "anal sex"
>looks at me awkwardly "use lubrication and be gentle next time"
>KILL ME NOW END THIS
>starts telling me about safe sex
Anal never again.
lost my virginity to 23 year old friend after i turned 18
i didnt know i was bleeding and passed out (i have a history of fainting from random shit), i can probably think of a few other things but i wouldn't consider any of it awkward because we didnt make it awkward
>>22887652
+ when i woke up we were both kinda like "wtf" and he slapped me
definitely weird but not awkward/uncomfortable
I know this isn't the place for it, but I need to tell it. I was just at a girl's house not half an hour ago. She asked me to have sex with her, and said the reason was that she was "just curious." I said no because we were both drunk, she had a boyfriend she had told me earlier how much she was in love with, and how being "just curious" wasn't enough for me to ignore that. I assured her that I found her attractive and I was very tempted but that I just couldn't do it.
I know it hurt her feelings and I feel bad, but I also feel like I made the most mature decision I could make. I know it isn't a sex story, but thanks for reading it.
>>22887823
You probably just avoided a false rape charge for yourself. Good job anon.
>>22884993
>>22886914
that's what i was thinking while he was telling us, especially with all the fucked up shit he's put the older one through, she'll be fucked if the family finds out.
>>22885089
Having a slooty fucktoy that'll do pretty much anything AND getting to pound her sisters pussy on the side, its fucking perfect
>>22885013
unfortunately no, he did show us a video where he made the older sis suck his fingers and asked her how her sister tasted. it was crazy
>>22887823
>>22887837
Yeah. Was a guy on the Sweden general on /int/ that got into this exact situation. Bam, false rape charge.
Luckily she confessed and her BF, who was also his friend, actually believed him and not her. But not everyone is so lucky.
Unless someone is in an explicitly open relationship (I've met people like that on campus) you should always avoid aiding other people in cheating. Which is what you're doing, not "hurting her feelings".
trap here. had sex with one of my friends and hes straight. copypasta from when i told someone else
there was a convention in his area and he let me sleep over since i lived half a state away. i was crossplaying as sento isuzu and he was the dude from full metal alchemist (idk his name). after the con we went back to his place and started drinking and watching random shit on netflix. i was still mostly in costume (wig and skirt) and i guess his drunk self got turned on and started touching my legs a lot. i kinda had a crush on him at the time and i was also slightly drunk but not as much so i ended up backing against him and he got hard and things went from there ^^'
>>22888106
That's so cute. :3
Did he regret it afterwards or was it like "you're actually a girl without a pussy so no homo?"
