Who else is depressed af? Do you take meds for it? Recreational drugs? Alcohol? Do you ever just put a gun to your head or a knife to your wrist and just hate yourself for being too much of a coward (yet again) to go through with it? Tell me why you're depressed.
I'm afraid of taking drugs and murdering everybody.
At least stone cold sober I have a modicum of control.
>>22838411
I am, I should. Nope and nope.
Grew up with a father in and out of prison and a mother who was addicted to drugs and alcohol. They threw parties every 2 weeks or so when I was very young, keeping me up all night and making me have unstable relationships with them. I grew up hating them which in turn made me hate myself and everyone around me. I've learned to live with it and not be angry with the world, but the damage is still there in my head.
>>22838427
I think there's more a chance of me murdering people if I didn't take drugs/alcohol to be honest. I spent 22 years of my life doing everything my father wanted me to do. He pretty much dominated me until I finally stopped talking to him. I didn't drink or do anything like that for the majority of my life, and I still had depression and horrible anxiety. I still ended up a fucking loser in the end. It seems like it's getting worse the older I get, so I dull my senses whenever I can get away with it. It's not very noble, but it works. Right now I live in a trailer park in a early 80's model trailer, I work a dead-end job for barely above minimum wage, and have an unhappy marriage. Woo. I don't know why I go on. There's nothing really to live for, but I'm too weak to go through with it.
>>22838437
My parents were both drug addicts and alcoholics which is probably a large part of my aversion to chemical substances.
>>22838459
I have anger issues. I'm not much of a suicidal depressed.
>>22838534
I have anger problems too actually, but the Prozac has helped a little with that I think. I was having fits of rage there for a while.
Drugs are fun in moderation, that simple. Don't be stupid and take more than you should or you'll drop dead.
>>22838411
>>Do you take meds for it?
no
>> Recreational drugs?
not related to the depression
>>Alcohol?
not everyday, maybe once a week but then i can(t stop until completely drunk.
usually 2or 3 bottle of wine.
>>Do you ever just put a gun to your head or a knife to your wrist and just hate yourself for being too much of a coward (yet again) to go through with it?
lolno
>> Tell me why you're depressed
lost my mom not so long ago, living away from family, always been quite lonely. and single ofc.
>>22838411
When it gets really bad I just take diphenhydramine and go to sleep. Sleep is the only place I momentarily feel relief, when I'm not dreaming about things I can't have.
>>22838867
quite the opposite for me, i m always anxious before going to bed because i know i will 100% dream about shitty stuff.
>>22838876
My dreams are a great retreat. I think I've mostly internalized my reality at this point, so how horrid my life is doesn't really touch me deeply anymore. It's just kind of a persistent annoyance. I have a handful of pretty great dream sanctuaries where I at least partially enjoy the things I wanted to enjoy in real life - The River and The Zoo/Fish Pools/Aquarium are my favorites. I spend a good deal of time there. The only question really is why I spend as little time asleep as I do. I think there's something wrong with me that I'm always looking for a way in the waking world when I'm pretty sure by now there isn't one. This is hell and the only escapes are dreams or death.
>>22838867
I take that shit more than I ever should. Usually around 150-200mg to go to sleep. Sometimes I get delirious when I mix is with cheap beer. Fun times. Not really.
I think that I'm on the verge of a breakdown of some kind and just can't keep going. My mind and body are falling apart and I just want peace.
Diagnosed depression here.
Started smoking a couple of months ago, doesn't really help, i feel "ok" and less stressed about everything for about 5 mins and then it wears off.
Im too pussy to commit suicide quickly so slowly killing myself seems like a really fitting way to go.
I see a therapist but i don't really think it helps, im stuck in the situation that made me depressed until around june next year so I just have to hope i either die or something happens.
I'll post why if i get any response otherwise TLDR ex (Love of my life, would literally kill for her) fucks my roomate and i can't leave
Recently found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me for 4 fucking months. The worst part is she so effortlessly lied and pretended that she was still madly in love with me. I thought our relationship was great. We moved to a new state together and now I'm competely alone.
So yeah a bit fucking depressed.
>>22838411
Highly. I take meds but they I feel like they don't work as well as they should. No rec drugs or alcohol. My life is a constant whirlpool of hating myself and everything about my life, to wanting to be a better person and trying my best, to breaking down and just being angry. I have someone in my life who cares about me, but it's so hard to go through these struggles and know that everyone I interact with has no real clue. I wish people could see how bad I was hurting.
>>22838411
Family history of depression. Shit genes.
Been on meds for most of the last 17 years. Went off meds last year to fly to Peru to drink ayahuasca as a cure. Didn't work.
I did transcranial magnetic stimulation this year. It helped and I am off meds. I'm waiting to start another course of TMS to see if knocks it out for good.
Depression is exhausting.
>>22840163
Recently, I got together with a college classmate who I had not seen in 14 years. I did not know what the hell we would talk about it. It turns out for the last twenty years he has struggled with depression and has taken medication for those years. We were able to connect on a level we were not able to when we were younger. It is refreshing talking to him because we put up no facades and pass no judgements.
As much as we try to explain depression to others, no one understands depression like someone who has gone through it.
I hope you are able to find someone you can confide in and understands you. Best of luck to you.
>>22839198
Diphenhydramine isn't something you take for fun. It's just something to take to shut off your brain when the hell gets too great.
>>22841283
I took 1200mg for fun once
blacked out for 36 hours but lots of flashbacks
highly highly do not recommend going above 800
Why would you cut your wrists? I cut my arms close to my shoulders and leave burn marks but thinking about cutting so close to veins is too unsettling for me. I also drink alcohol a lot when I have it. I'm pretty normal though.
>>22841593
>I took 1200mg for fun once
>blacked out for 36 hours but lots of flashbacks
Wat? Why? You're literally retarded.
