Do it to it. Vent.
You really shouldn't have to face yourself. When I look at this, and see how cringeworthy the shit I put on here was, God it makes me want to crawl in a hole.
But hey, at least I knew what I was. Nowadays I spend my time trying to talk myself out of killing myself. I have written a story of love and loss based in WW2, but I need to expand it into a fucking book. That's taking forever. I've got atleast another 6 motnhs of messing with it until it resembles a book. Once I've finished writing it and it's published. I'll kill myself. Kill's too strong a word. What I'm doing isn't an act of passion of anger. I'm just sick of living inside my own mind. Pretty sure I'm a sociopath.
I hate, people, well no. I love people, the everyday, and apparently "ordinary" folk. They're beautiful and real. What I hate is the illusions of us, the developed nation dwellers. People are starving, and living under real oppression; and here I am, feeling sorry for myself, and living away from you. I wish I could join you again. I miss you, and wish your light, although delicate, and small came to me again. If only you were here.
You've inspired within me, the longing to face human suffering, to try to understand its victims. I wish, you could come back to me, if only for a day, where we'd be joyous again, if only for one day.
Forgive me, for I know you'll never come back, but I hope. I hope, to one day again, to see you, to talk with you, to hear your voice.
How in the fuck is it possible that at the same time that I want a significant other to hang out with and do couples shit together with, I also want to just be left the fuck alone?
>>23959952
It's because you feel like something is missing from your life and you think it's a woman but really it's happiness
>>23959974
...You're probably right. Also I just really wanna get laid.
Life is great
>>23959685
Ok. I'm a man trapped in a man's body.
I whant to fuck my friend
It was awkward af meeting irl but after getting in your car and kissing you everything changed. That whole twenty minutes in your car was the best twenty minutes of my life and I just wanna go back in time and enjoy the forehead kisses once more. Message me back please?
You're a horrible person and I hope you know that every day when you look in the mirror. You are manipulative and deceptive and you prey on what you think are weak women. Say what you want to keep your conscience clean, but you never cared about me and you are more interested in getting your dick wet than anything or anyone else. I hope you choke on your lies.
Why did you leave? You're being a coward, you don't want to work on everything we have built, everything we've been through, and you know it's a lot considering how we moved to a new country and all. It's all pointless now, I wasted 4 years of my life and now I'm 25 and single. Who the fuck wants a woman at 25? Fucking liberal degenerates, that's who. Everyone who was worth a damn got together at the same age we did. The difference is they stayed together, even through hard times. You're depressed you say, you think I deserve better you say, be a man about it and get the help you need. You should've stayed and saved our relationship.
Now I'm lonely, in an apartment that we just moved into together, it's too big for me and the lonliness is only going to get worse over time. What do I have to look forward to? Dating a mediocre uncultured liberal swine, that's what. Great, they'll probably leave me too.
I saw you in a dream once. I think you're the one.
You had long hair, I remember. Green eyes. You were giggling with her, and you two were hanging out with me by the ocean. I was dating her at the time and I have yet to actually see you in real life, but it was...you that I liked more.
...
Perhaps it was my vision of you that made me do all that shit to her. Maybe I was trying to project my image of you onto her, and that's why I was trying to squeeze out every last ounce of love she had for me, until she couldn't bear it. Was I channeling you, or something? I don't know.
Ever since the dream, I'd been having daydreams about someone, maybe you, waiting for me. You're, like, in some kind of marble palace. It reminds me of that place in London I went to once, by the Eye.
...
Whatever the case, I'm striving for you. I hope one day you can meet me halfway.
Well, I just realized I'm damaged goods and it will probably be very hard to find someone kind and stable.
Thanks, abusers.
>>23961287
Feel you anon.
>Crippling fear of abandonment
>Try to form relationships anyway
>Get fucked every time
;~;
>>23959685
Someone talk me into buzzing my hair off, I haven't cut it in a year and it looks bad and gets in my eyes and moulth, but I can't bring myself to buzz it off
Who the fuck wants a 31 year old virgin with no money? No one.
I get it. I'm a loser. I'm messed up. I wasted my life.
I raped my sister
>>23961326
And i cant take it back
I hate women. and not even a neckbeard or rejected
maybe I hate everyone just women a bit more, I dont know
I hate all the social pressure on me as a woman. I feel like I have to choose between a career or a family. If I don't want kids i'm selfish, if I don't take my husbands last name I'm selfish. I have to be short with big boobs, big butt small waste and long hair, naturally pretty without make up and need hobbies like video games and comic books to be wife mateiral.
I hate that being black means all my actions speak for my whole race. "Oh typical for YOU to feel like X" or if I don't something good I'm just "one of the good ones". I'm supposed to be loud and obnoxious with a big butt living off welfare with 4 babys with different fathers. And "being pretty for a black girl" is supposed to be a compliment. If I date outside my race that person is "doing me a favor" or "dirtying their bloodline"
Everything that I achieve is "because of affirmative action" is it so hard to believe I did things on my own?
Why can't I just be me and why can't me be enough?
>>23961326
Why
>the guy I love asked for a threesome
N-no thank you. I'd be heart broken if I saw you with someone else.
>I move 30 min away so that I don't become that annoying, clingy fuckbuddy
He doesn't call of text me back much anyways
>yells at me for actually moving and going to a different college until tears fall from my stupid eyes
I asked "if your hypothetical daughter's boyfriend asked her for a threesome, do you think he respects her and wants to marry her?"
He said "no, but this is different"
He's dumb. I'm dumb for even liking him. Why am I even crying.
>>23960192
Jesus, no wonder he left you lol
This made me feel 10x better
I hate jews
>>23959952
I feel the same way. It's possible because you're lonely, and (in my case) because you remember that men are garbage who aren't worth the trouble.
I really crave that whole making out for more than 30 seconds thing
Like the first day I made ate with someone was the first time I had oral sex and then he broke up with me and we just fuck now and it's such a drag at this point it leaves me feeling empty( pun unintended but lol)
Idek I just want someone to flirt with and hold their hand I haven't ever had that
>>23961517
I dont know
>>23961836
Thats actually really fucking sad
I'm really tired of getting added in Qt threads or threads of that nature with info and such by people who know damn well well have little to nothing in common interests wise/don't even remotely fit what I'm seeking in conversation with another person and then getting bitched at for being boring or unresponsive.
Do you have any idea how excruciating it is to drag out a conversation with someone you have nothing in common with that isn't even FUNNY?
I've tried it all;
Dragging it out and waiting/hoping for things to improve, politely declining futter conversation and flat out not responding
None of it makes a difference, someone here, no matter the thread, will bitch at you for it
>>23961863
Further***
>>23959685
I feel like I am loosing one of my best friends as time has been going on i am seeing less and less of her and I know she works full time but she always puts in an effort with all of her other friends but me. and when we do hang out all she does is sit on her phone while i try and make conversation. And I just feel like she does not know me or care to try and know me. It just is so bad because we use to be so close and I feel like I am the only one who puts effort into are friendship anymore and it make me angry, sad, and everything else and I do not know what to do about it.
I really want to fuck a cosplayer in-character, but I have no idea how to approach the subject of sex propositioning /cgl/.
/soc/ makes me feel terrible about myself and I frequent /b/
I'm just genuinely unattractive i think
>>23961846
how are things between you now
I moved away to study, you helped me get there. I always said i moved away from home, that the house i lived in, the town i lived in hell the state i lived in wasn't home to me. For the longest time i couldn't figure out what it was, we talked every night, i would visit you, you came to visit me but what was it? Well, you were my home. whenever i was with you i was home, even if we were fighting.
Marriage scared the hell out of me but i was always going to be by your side. I helped you get back on your feet, got you sleeping again, helped you build the confidence to be what i knew you could be and i couldn't be prouder of you than i am now. But now you're gone, or i am. I walked away after all. I know I wasn't the best man around, i made a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong calls but i always thought i was doing the right thing, i was wrong. My biggest regret isn't that i walked away, drove you away or let him win, My biggest regret? How many times i let you down. I'm sorry Abbey.
Women seem to be bad at conversation. Feels like surrogate therapy for them and ordeal for the other person
An odd thought...is sex just therapy for men?
I need some pussy kik anyone
Compassion, in it's truest sense, is the rarest trait to find in another. I've always known this, biologically engineered to "look out for number one" even still, the apathy some carry towards others is sickening at times, it broke me once when i was younger. Some would say it was am eye opening experience but for me, part of me all but died. I see the world in ways people don't comprehend when i try to explain, i watch as chaos rolls in like a foggy mist at daybreak. A poison infecting everyone so silently subtle. Numerous times I've built sanctuaries and they'd all been destroyed. When the work your hand wrought fall to ashes, giving up seems like the only way to be safeguarded from disappointment, no expectations no hassle. Even still that flame that once burned as an intense inferno has not died, a waning candle lighting sanity while treading through the murkey deep.there is no solace yet still that flame causes me to believe in its purpose, that if even one would have a candle as i do, my hope was not in vain, a deception to keep me from rending myself to the ashes of my handiwork.
I post this about 10 times a day in various places. I know it gets you wet.
I wonder if I will ever trust a woman again. I simply am not a interested in getting to know woman. I just want back what I lost.
/feet/ needs to 404 already
>knows the next thread will be no better
>>23961320
Someone who truly loves you would not care you're a virgin no matter what age you are or how much money you have. I wouldn't have a second thought as long as we shared things in common and enjoyed each other's company.
>>23961315
You should post a picture. I think longer hair on men is nice, so I'm curious to see what it looks like.
What's keeping you from buzzing it off?
>>23961320
life expectancy is around 70-80 these days if you don't really take awesome care of yourself.
You're not even half way through your life anon. You haven't wasted it, think of it as a slow start. Whats something you really love to do?
>>23961461
>Why can't I just be me and why can't me be enough?
Here's a little secret 99% of the world doesn't even know. You ARE enough the way you are. Don't let anyone or anything ever convince you otherwise. Who cares what race, colour or creed you are. Be who YOU want to be, eventually it'll fall in line for you, you'll be away from the toxic people that seem to be in your life. Ask yourself "what would i do with my life if money were no object" and the answer can be your goal to work towards. constantly remind yourself, every time you get up, every time you look at yourself in the mirror, every time you look down and see your feet as you walk: You are enough.
>>23961315
The first time is the hardest, you could always donate it. Attach a cause to the sacrifice, it'll grow back and probably quicker than it took to get there.
>>23961315
You could go for the manbun thing that seems to be the rage again? OR buzz it down and look great either way. OR spend a little on yourself and get a nice haircut. walk into the barber and say "give me a nice stylish cut"
I used to have long as fuck hair and i did that once the girl was super happy that should could just be creative and it actually came out a normal cut but it really suited me and i wouldnt have thought of it at the time.
Why do I keep on failing on everything
I really REALLY can't take this anymore. I want some Blue Bell ice cream so bad but i'm all snug up in bed and don't want to go to the store.
Why is life this hard? I just want to die.
>>23962261
Why do we fall master Bruce?
>>23962300
Just think how awesome it'd be to have said ice cream and return to the bed? Do eet.
I am 25 and I had not been in a single relationship.
Its not something I need,in fact Im probably used to being single now.
But I just want that experience you know, I wanted to be able to understand and feel when my bros were talking shit about the bad side of being in a relationship.
i love this boy so fucking much and he won't acknowledge me at all
>>23962362
This post says "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" to which i say: Try it. but honestly, it'll come around, my best mate didn't get a girlfriend until he was 26. There is no hurry on that shit.
>>23962372
Throw a rock at him. But seriously, what have you tried?
Why do I still try to talk to grills?
>>23962402
we have hung out on and off, he lives in a city close to mine (like 40 minutes away) and after we hang out every time he ghosts me. i have a bunch of his shit still from the last time he was at my house (months ago, pretty sure he graduated and isn't living at the same house anymore). we were supposed to go to this show together and he just fucking ignored me. now i'm moving away and he still doesn't care enough about me to see me
22 years old, barely scraping by after making a decision to stop relying on parents to help me.
Mildly autistic, so I have memory trouble and can't always understand direction. Begun wondering if I should just give in and start meds again, but I know what relying on THAT leads to.
Worse is that I live in THE meth capitol of the US, and employers have been assuming I'm just another druggy. Luckily, one needed someone enough to hire me, but now I'm stuck working with one of the fucking methmouthed "ex" junky. Now she's bringing shit to work while I just want to do my job in peace, but now two other employees want to quit and head over to a grocery store because they don't feel like working here.
God damnit, I'm hauling ass however I can, and these two sluts want to mooch off their sugardaddies like parasites, an my boss is giving me the feeling like he wants to cut losses quickly.
Now this wouldn't effect me, but because they got hired but want to fuck around, I'm losing work hours for them to be there, since we work unregular shifts, and I'm just humiliated that I actually call these people coworkers.
Don't have the time to go back to college or do online courses because like fuck I havr the time or money for it, so how the fuck do I raise myself from this cesspool.
If I acted the way these three did at work, I'd be out of a job and rotting on the streets. I honetly think they aren't already, because they're all women and someone wants to take care of them.
Oh, and I'm being blamed for my sibling whoring it up in college, something about not being the good big brother she needed.
>>23962413
If you want some honest advice? As much as it'll suck for a while, move on. Unrequited love sucks big time, even if he suddenly started paying attention to you for whatever reason it'll always stick in your mind of "why are you suddenly paying attention" and it'll eat you.
There is hardly any foundation for a meaningful relationship so you should let it go. I'm usually optimistic as fuck and would say GO FOR IT DON'T GIVE UP. but i feel in this case you would end up getting hurt over and over and your life, time and energy needs to be elsewhere.
I know this is a super corny thing to say but: The right guy is out there for you, trust me. and he's getting to you as fast as he can. Be patient.
>>23962413
wow that was boring even for /soc/
I can imagine how the guy feels about you
It's been weeks since the thread but I occasionally think about and would actually like to meet up with the "deformed" girl, who wanted to pay a guy so she could cook for and snuggle with him.
>>23961700
Everyone hates jews.
My butt is small and I feel really bad because of it even though people told me it's nice... I want to gain weight so it'd get bigger but if I eat more I don't gain weight
I really want a close group or friends to go out and do things with but at the same time I hate that kind of thing when I finally get it. I also want to go to parties but when I'm invited to them and go, I just think about leaving immediately after arriving.
I long for having friends and things to do but I hate it all too.
I love the Jew, they are my friends :D
Haven't gotten laid in 3 years
I'm going through conflicting feelings being in a long distance relationship for around two years.
We each got fucking couples necklaces and shit but we havent been able to meet cuz we live on opposite sides of the fucking country. I thought I was developing feelings for this other girl in my school but I'm pretty sure its just over the fact that the other girl is right fucking there.
I fucking hate the distance and we already broke up once because of it and decided to get the fuck back together.
I hate the distance but I love her and it's bullshit.
I remember every negative opinion abou my look and I'm sad that I'm so ugly. I can't stop to complain that i'm not a pretty princess
Tucker, I miss you
I know I shouldn't, but I do
I used to be depressed and I was for years. Then I regained confidence for 1 whole year and for some reason that I can't figure out I am back to being more and more insecure.
I don't even know why and that's what makes me even more angry. Why do I have to be such a faggot sometimes holy shit I've done it once I can do it again, don't let yourself get fucked one more time stupid ass
My girlfriend is into me fucking other girls but I feel like I'm just letting her down cause I have no idea how to pick up women.
I'm a lesbian
After 4 years of overwork and social isolation I finally quit my job that is slowly railroading me towards suicide. I have to survive 2 more weeks before it is all over though and the thing is, I am scared shitless of actually working normal hours and interacting with society.
>>23964829
Why :(
>>23964863
only girls can make me squirt and i love squirting
I still can't get her out of my mind. Every time I get close to getting her out of there, another thing pops up forcing her back in.
Be it a friend or family member randomly asking about her, or even a random dream of her. Goddamn. I just want her out of my head.
I'm concerned about my own health. I think I have a crush on a guy I've knowns for a few years that are 8 years older that lives countries away, but my mental insatability is making him so turned off to the point that he doesn't even want to respond to me anymore. Should've sent him all of those pictures of myself tormenting him. I'm coping with it by searching out other people to distract myself, but it never feels sincere, and I just can't wait until he starts up conversation, and the whole thing just plays out again so I can at least have a day of happiness (again)
>>23964843
You'll be fine, it may be hard at first, but it's something you can get used to pretty fast
Man it's been a year and three days since the first time you said you loved me, on my birthday.
I still had the voicemail you said it in too- up until January when I accepted that you weren't coming back.
That being said- since I let go ive forned relationships with people so lovely and so true they surpass everything we had for the 5 months I thought I was in love with you.
Also, I know you lied about a lot. In fact im going to start college next year at the college you lied about going to.
I think everyone comes into your life for a reason and I thank you for everything you did for me. I found love and time for my friends, I found a school that I fell in love with, I found a field of work to consider going into...and most of all, I learned to recognize manipulation.
Damn it's been a good year.
People only like me when im drunk. Also i noticed that i never made out sober.
I came extra to this city to start something new with you. I came with a present, you coming to the place i feel at home at and enjoy my last days there.
I know you are not easy, you are a troubled person, haunted by thoughts and anxiety to fail. I wanted to be there for you throught that. I truly understand your problems, I truly do, but I was willing to put up with them so you and me could spend an unforgettable summer with each other.
On the first day you werent really available. On the second day we had what you called the talk. You are always in troubles and I am always leaving for another place. You incited feelings in me you know yourself to be true on your side just a couple of weeks ago but now you say: not at this period.
It pains me, but I am feeling okay now. You were the last of a couple of relationships that began and ended in this city.
Tomorrow I will leave for good. But I will always be there for you, because you deserve me and I deserve you.
Until I come back, stay true to yourself. I love you.
>>23965107
Can it be beacuse you are far more outgoing and social when you're drunk? If it is so, might want to work on that. The alchol is making you more at ease, but that part that people like is already there within you, just need to let it out, without the need of consuming alchol.
I just want to fuck a cute effeminate guy. Why are they so hard to find irl?
Pretty sure I'm headed to work to get fired for my background check.
Thinking of buying a gun with my only check from them and offing myself finally.
>>23965525
Don't do that. There's more in life ahead of you
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
