Kuwabara: First Blood
A tale of adventure, passion and romances!
It was a sunny day when Kuwabara was practicing Tai Chi on the roof top to harness his inner strength when he heard panic.
"Kuwabara there is panic!" Said Hiei.
"Stop behaving like woman, Hiei, what is the matter?" Scolded Kuwabara as he put on his members only jacket.
"Yukina has been kidnapped you must come to the rescue!" Said Hiei with bone chilled eyes.
"WHAT.?!" Said Kuwabara as he bolted down the stairs with speed of a buffalo hoard.
Kuwabara switched on the tv showing Yukina taken captive by vampire gangsters.
"Help Kuwabara, I am being taken captive by vampire gangsters!" Cried Yukina in hysterically.
"HAHA Kuwabara!, We demand the blood Bank of Sprit World give us 600 million gallons of blood, all in one hundred dollar bills or else we will be making evening breakfast out of Yukina!" Said the head Vampire Gangster with menace.
"The only deposit being made will be yours!" Said Kuwabara with triumph, while shooting the tv in anger with his Desert Eagle.
"Kuwabara what will you do?" Asked Hiei with audacity.
"A man must do what he must do I will rescue Yukina with these hands." Said Kuwabara fist clenched with justice.
Kuwabara strutted to his closet where he took his steak firing machine gun. He then hopped into his ALL AMERICAN four wheeled pick up truck.
"Kuwabara let me come with you" said Hiei with intent.
"No you must stay, if I do not return in 24 hours call Koenma." (Timely Joke)
"That was a timely joke Kuwabara." Said Hiei, getting his joke.
Kuwabara than drove off into the thickness of summer night, determined to deliver justice through personal delivery.
When driving, Kuwabara turned on the radio for inspirational music.
"Here is inspirational music for Kuwabara so that he may save the day again." Said the DJ.
cont
The DJ started playing heart thumping rocking music to pump Kuwabara up.
"This is the beat to my groove." Said Kuwabara as he let himself get pumped.
As Kuwabara drove he saw Kurama taking drugs and ruining his life. Kuwabara was enraged by the waste of the youth and ran him over with his pickup truck.
"Drugs are for dopes go back to education!" Said Kuwabara.
"Yes you are right Kuwabara." Said Kurama who stopped doing drugs and went back to school for degrees.
Kuwabara than arrived at the vampire warehouse where the vampire gangsters held their Yukina. Kuwabara notices there was a vampire gangster guarding the entrance.
"Oh, no its Kuwabara I must make alarm!" Said the vampire gangster.
"The only alarm you will be making is in hell!" Said Kuwabara as he shot the vampire gangster in the chest with his Desert Eagle.
"HA Kuwabara! Vampires can only be killed with steaks and suns!" Said the vampire gangster.
"Fool my bullets are made of suns." Said Kuwabara with astrophysics.
"Oh no I am dead!" Said the stupid vampire gangster as he burned away.
Kuwabara lit a cigarette on the burning vampire and continued his mission. During exploration, Kuwabara encountered two other vampire gangsters guarding a room.
"Here is a prime rib meal ready for serving!" Quipped Kuwabara as he shot the vampire gangsters to their deaths with his steak gun.
>>4018958
Good story but do you mind if I ask a question?
Kuwabara than bursted into the room seeing the Yukina captured with the menacing vampire gangster leader her at her side.
"Haha Kuwabara you have entered a trap! Look around you are surrounded!" Said the Vampire Gangster leader.
Kuwabara looked around him seeing vampire gangsters all around, closing in, when Kuwabara heard a familiar voice.
"AMAKOOOO"
Hiei crashed in from the ceiling with his two golden revolvers daftly firing all around at the vampire gangsters.
"Thank you for my back up Hiei, I was in a pit of danger" Said Kuwabara with sternness.
"No problem, you have gotten me out of more jam than I can remember." Said Hiei.
"The jig is up Vampire Gangster, time to face the face of justice." Said Kuwabara with justice coming out of his eyes and ears.
"Oh no Kuwabara I have a terrible secret to unveil!" Said the vampire gangster as he ripped off his face to reveal that he was really Yusuke!
"Yusuke how could you." Said Hiei.
"After all the adventure and bonding we shared you have fallen into criminality?" Said Kuwabara with disappointment.
"Yes Kuwabara I am tired of you having all the glory and women. No more this time the glory and women will be my own!" Said Yusuke with bitter triumph.
"Yusuke I thought you were a man but you are just a mutt." Said Kuwabara with sadness in his heart.
"You do not have the heart to kill me Kuwabara so say your good byes to your precious Yukina!" Leered Yusuke with evil.
"You are forgetting one thing Yusuke, you may have drawn first blood, but I always draw last." Said Kuwabara with cool style as he shot Yusuke with his Desert Eagle.
"NOOOO" Said Yusuke as he staggered and fell out of the window into acid.
Kuwabara went to the tied up Yukina and freed her swiftly.
"Thank you Kuwabara I am forever in debt." Said Yukina with love to Kuwabara.
"No problem babe I liked you in Space Balls, now lets dance a sexy tango." Said Kuwabara.
"Thank you for complimenting my acting." Said Yukina with gratitude.
So after Kuwabaras gracious compliments they both danced a sexy tango and got all tens.
"Wow Kuwabara you are great dancer are you doing anything tonight?" Said Yukina.
"I am now, I will take to four stars restaurant called Olive Garden it has food of one of a kind taste." Said Kuwabara with class.
"That sounds delicious and romantic." Said Yukina with romance on her mind.
With these words Kuwabara and Yukina rode to Olive Garden on a black stallion with wind flowing through their hair.
Kuwabara: First Blood Part II: The Legend of the Warrior of the Forever Fist
It was a bright morning full of rain and sun when Yukina was doing her acting.
"These are my words and my motions are full of emotion." Said Yukina with acting.
"Excellence! This is Oscar winning performance!" Said the director with compliments.
"Thank you I am four star actress." Said Yukina with thanks.
Then all of a sudden out of mist Koenma appeared with sinister plans.
"Haha Yukina you will star in me with movies and be forever mine! Then I will have immortality!" Cackled Koenma with evil.
"No Koenma I will not give in to your evil." Cried out Yukina in defiance.
"Haha You have no say in this! You are my prisoner! Behold force field!" Said Koenma as he summoned a force field prison to capture Yukina.
"Now to my studio lair where we will star in movies together!" Declared Koenma with evil as he left with imprisoned Yukina.
Meanwhile Kuwabara was riding alone on all American highway on his Custom Harley Davidson motorcycle rockin out to DIO turned up to maximum volume.
"Time to train the muscles." Said Kuwabara as he pulled into a gym for training.
Kuwabara went to the punching bag for punching practice. It was punching bag made of diamond and steel so it can take his super punches which are like force of nature.
"I am fist. Mighty with speed." Kuwabara said as he punched the punching bag.
As Kuwabara practiced his punches news reports came on the TV.
"This just in. Koenma has tweeted he has kidnapped Yukina for evil movies. If only a hero was man enough to save her." Said the news man with reporting.
"INDIGNITIES." Roared Kuwabara as he punched the punching bag in half with ease at the anger of the reporting.
Kuwabara waltzed out of gym in quest to rescue Yukina with his manly power. Outside of gym Kuwabara was confronted with thugs.
"Haha Kuwabara we were sent by Koenma to be putting stop to you. Now is the time for endings!" Said the thugs with arrogant laughs.
"The only thing being stopped is your life! Eat fist!" Roared Kuwabara with anger.
The thugs then attacked Kuwabara with foolishness. One thug swung a chain at him the other hit him with a baseball bat, but it was no use. They bounced off Kuwabaras muscles like rubber ball on a donkey.
"WHAT?" Cried out the thugs in shocking disbelief.
"My turn miscreants." Said Kuwabara has he lifted one thug above his head.
"Time to make a wish." Said Kuwabara as he snapped the thug in two.
After the thug snapping, Kuwabara turned to other thug with vengeance.
"Kuwabara please spare my life I am poor starving man." Said the thug with begging.
"Starve on my fist." Said Kuwabara as he punched the thugs stomach out.
Kuwabara then hopped on his Custom Harley Davidson motorcycle and revved the engines to rescue the Yukina.
"Koenma I hope your heart is in good health because I am going to rip it out of your chest." Kuwabara said as he put his shades on and rode off for rescue.
As Kuwabara rode, a Tractor Trailer truck filled with Shizuru drove beside him.
"Shizuru feed my body and soul. Give me strength to rescue ladies in danger." Kuwabara said as he looked to the truck.
Shizuru burst out of truck to feed Kuwabara and entered his mouth for eating, filling Kuwabaras muscular body with power and energy.
"Thank you Shizuru you are now part of me." Kuwabara said with gratitude to Shizuru.
In the distance Kuwabara spotted trouble. It was a tank filled with vile minions of Koenma.
"Behold Kuwabara our beast of iron and metal. You ride ends here Kuwabara for we are righteous." Said the tank commander with taunts.
At villains petty taunts Kuwabara laughed with scoffing. He turned on his DIO beyond maximum volume and glared at foolish tank with fiery eyes.
"Rust in peace, iron beast." Kuwabara said to the tank as he rode right through the tank at laser speed splitting it in half.
Meanwhile in Koenmas demon lair evil was brewing in hearts of men. Koenma was sitting on his throne dressed like wicked sultan while Yukina was chained to the wall.
"Haha Yukina you are mine on this midnight hour. All of your hope should be abandoned for I am your new master!" Cackled Koenma with evil.
"No Kuwabara will save me for he is true hero of man." Yukina said with hope.
"Hoho not even Kuwabaras manliness can save you now. We will star in movies and makes eons of money." Declared Koenma with maniac laughing.
"Kuwabara please come I need you." Yukina said with longing.
Meanwhile Kuwabara was riding the lonely road of the hero with hair blowing through wind like wet Shizuru in a fan. In the distance Kuwabara saw Koenmas palace of pain and evil. It was on Island surrounded by lava and crocodiles. There seemed no way but Kuwabara never gives up never surrenders.
"Time to do the sky bird." Kuwabara declared as he pulled out his Shizuru glider and glided to island of Koenma.
Kuwabara crashed into room full of Koenmas loyal guards who would fight in his name to the deaths, but Kuwabara was not afraid.
"I heard there was party so I stopped by. Do not worry I am polite guest here are some presents." Quipped Kuwabara a she took out his Desert Eagles and fired at guard scum.
"My goody bag will be your beating heart
Koenma!" Kuwabara shouted with adrenaline pumping.
Kuwabara searched Koenmas palace mowing down guards wherever he saw with no mercy. He then came upon doors to Koenmas throne room but it was sealed with evil power and locks. But Kuwabara blew it open with ease like big bad wolf blowing down straw houses.
"I am here for the Yukina and for your head on stick." Kuwabara roared upon entering Koenmas throne room.
Inside room Kuwabara saw Yukina chained in imprisonment and Koenma sitting on throne.
"Haha Kuwabara I have been waiting for you. Not even you can be stopping me now." Koenma cackled with evil.
"Silence you sultan of sin. Your time is ending near!" Kuwabara responded with angry vocals.
"Kuwabara I had enough of your words. Time for fiery doom! Meet the dragon!" Koenma said as he whistled for his dragon. At Koenmas whistling a four headed dragon appeared with fire breathing and roars.
"Enjoy your just deserts!" Koenma cackled as he fled like little girl.
"Haha Kuwabara! I am hoping you brought your bib because I am going to be smoking you like a ham!" Growled the evil four headed dragon.
"I have no time for dragon distraction." Fumed Kuwabara with frustration.
All hope seemed to be in fire but then familiar voice was heard by all.
"AMAKOOOOO."
It was Hiei flying in on jet pack rearing for fighting!
"Do not worry I will take care of this lizard you must go after Koenma." Said Hiei with support.
"Thank you Hiei you are my jet pack backup." Kuwabara said with gratitude.
Kuwabara went after Koenma as Hiei battled dragon with mystic blade.
"Ok dragon boy let's do this." Hiei said as he drew his mystic katana.
Meanwhile Kuwabara was chasing down Koenma with justice on mind and in fist. He finally cornered Koenma against wall.
"You are at the end of your highway and it is time to pay the toll man." Said Kuwabara with eyes glaring.
"Haha Kuwabara it is too late. Yukina soul is mine and my life will be immortal!" Koenma declared with vile grin.
"Fool your life is short, but my fist is FOREVER." Kuwabara roared as he charged inner power to max and sent fists flying at Koenma at earthquake speed making him supernova.
"NOOOO." Cried out Koenma as he supernovad.
"Your career just exploded." Quipped Kuwabara with cleverness.
"Thank you Kuwabara you saved me again." Thanked Yukina with joyful words.
"No problem honeybabes. I can not stand seeing ladies kidnapped." Kuwabara said as he helped Yukina up.
"Good work Kuwabara. You saved day again." Said approaching voice. It was Hiei! He was holding dragons heads in his hands.
"Yes Hiei I think it is time for celebration." Said Kuwabara in response.
"Yes Kuwabara we should perform our hit new song for Yukinas music enjoyment." Hiei suggested with good ideas as he took out his electric guitar for jamming.
"Yes here is our new song "Lover and Fighter Man." From album of same name. Old people with diseases should beware of dangerous rocking." Said Kuwabara as he took out his mic ready for rocking.
Hiei began powerful chords of playing while Kuwabara began to sing with mighty rocking voice:
"I am real man hard like steel
Always hungry for Shizuru meal
Busting heads winning every fight
Need to see you naked tonight
I am a Lover and Fighter man
Not a loser and crier man
Baby, Bake me egg in a friar pan
Because I am a lover and fighter man
Every day I am punching and kicking
When I come home I want you for licking
Stupid thugs their heads I crack
But you I want to rub my back
I am a Lover and Fighter Man
Not a loser and crier man
I want to spank you until you tan
Because I am a lover and fighter man"
Hiei then began shredding like madman with guitar solo.
"AMAKOOOOOOO." Shouted Hiei as flames and lightning burst out of his guitar. After amazing guitar solo Kuwabara began to sing again:
"I am the champ in the ring
In the bedroom I am king
Bashing villains until they groan
Loving ladies until they moan
I am a lover and fighter man
Not a loser and Crier man
I will make you fly like Peter Pan
Because I am a lover and fighter man"
Yukina screamed and clapped in excitement at the rocking concert. She ran to Kuwabara with love in her eyes.
"Kuwabara you are rock star stud muffin. But now I want you to play me like an electric guitar and make me wail." Yukina said with desire.
"Sure thing sugarbites. I have a concert in my pants and you have first row tickets." Kuwabara said with flirty words.
"Let us go on stage and make music." Said Yukina as she led Kuwabara to her bedroom.
Kuwabara and Yukina went on her bed and embraced for love makings. They rubbed eachother with oil and perfume and touched eachother all over. Their bodies then joined like peanut butter and jelly and created delicious loving all night long.
