I originally posted this on /b/, but when I came back in 2 minutes, it was already on page 7. /b/ moves fucking fast.
I was on the shitter, thinking about some things (Don't we all?), and I thought "There's gotta be a better way to take a shit." I mean, there's a better way to wipe your ass, it's called a bidet. So why can't we find a better way for the entire process? And then I thought "Maybe vacuum cleaners are the answer."
Would this even work properly without pulling in stomach acid or undigested crap from your small intestine? Does anyone plan on trying this?
Pic related. Is of my face if this is a possible solution.
if you eat and drink healthily then taking a shit should be very easy
>>3911967
just purchase a japanese toilet
>>3911971
Not all of us have that luxury. Even if I did eat healthily, it's surprisingly hard for me to take a shit. Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a bitch.
Regardless, wouldn't you like to just sit on a small nozzle and flick a switch, and in, like, a minute, flick it back and get up, and not have to wipe, or have minimal wiping necessary?
>>3911967
this is the most elaborate feces joke ive ever had the fortune to witness and absorb into the very bowels of my essence and existence, and i will be sure to cherish the sublte nuances and comedic rhythm of this work of art for many years of taking a shit to come.
thank you
>>3911981
>>3911987
Okay, I'll reveal my real reason for wanting this vacuum toilet. As you hopefully know, I'm gay. I have a dildo, and I would like to be able to enjoy it at any time. Problem is, taking a shit and cleaning out my ass to the point where I don't get shit all over my dildo takes FAR too long for me.
>>3911991
1. Stretch your angus until you can get your fist inside it
2. Grab some paper and shove your hand up your ass and wipe everything from within
3. Trash the dildo, it's useless because you can fist yourself
4. Get a scat fetish and remove paper from step 2
Your fortune: ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!
>>3912015
You've clearly never seen an XL Stan from Bad Dragon before. That thing is fucking massive.
...Not that I own one, mind you, that thing won't fucking fit in my ass.
>>3912026
>that thing won't fit
Not with that attitude
Your fortune: Very Bad Luck
>>3912038
It won't fit at the moment. Not without tearing my ass apart. I'm sure with training I can take it, but there's no fucking way at the moment when I can't even take the one I have now to the hilt.
>>3911991
putting things up ur butte is pretty silly tbh
lol at ppl talking about dildos here xD
>>3912053
while mess aversion is a major part of it (and lol i shouldn't say this but) i don't like stuff in my butt >_<
OP why did you login onto [s4s] where everyone can see you name
https://www.google.com/#q=ShylokVakarian
>>3912083
#YOLO, fuckers.
