Hey guys. This is my first time posting, but not my first time on websites like this. I quit masturbating to porn about 6 months ago and have not done it since. My reasoning for quitting is a bit embarrassing. I've watched porn and masturbated since I was around 12 years old (I am 18, almost 19 now). I've never dared bringing this up to anybody in person, but I was addicted to interracial cuckolding. Now, some people may say that its a natural thing, but it disgusts me. The fact that I get turned on by that stuff worries me and makes me feel ashamed of myself. I used to never have problems with porn induced ED until I came across this stuff and, for whatever reason, became incredibly addicted to it.
>>4032858
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Whats worse is, it isn't just interracial cuckolding, its humiliating videos that show black men having sex with white women along with text at the bottom of the screen that says things about how white men are "unworthy" or how all white women are having sex with black dudes and there's "nothing you can do to stop it". Of course, I know that this is not true in real life, and I would never be attracted to this in real life. I have never ever been remotely racist, but now whenever I see a black guy my mind automatically thinks back to that type of porn and it actually turns me on a little bit. Then I get very angry with myself and confused on why I'm like this. Sometimes I even think bad things about black men all because of this stupid addiction, and not only do I hate the fact that it turns me on, I hate the fact that now I feel the need to defend myself by thinking badly of black men.
WoW thats a LOT on your plate. yoyr head must be spinning. Try breaking it downf or me?
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I'm totally against racism and never had such a problem before! I also have no idea why I'm STILL suffering from these things 6 months after I quit masturbating to porn. Its like its stuck in my head, even know they say that rebalancing your brain through quitting PMO is 100% effective... well Im past the due date and I still suffer from this. There are some positives, I find myself being aroused by women in real life now and do not suffer from porn induced ED, although I have not actually been in a situation where I would have sex and worry sometimes that when the time comes, I wont be able to get hard. Or that I will start thinking of that humiliating interracial cuckolding shit. I despise it, and even if people say that "everyone has fetishes", I'll be damned if I allow this fetish to be a part of my life. No matter how "natural" it may be. I just want to find a way to forget about it and move on with my life so that I can feel "normal" again. Although I havent masturbated to porn in 6 months, sometimes I get seemingly impossible urges to simply look up the stuff but not masturbate to it. I never look it up directly, either. I do these "games", if you can call it that. Ill look through porn pages and if there's an interracial video on say the 5th page, Ill watch it. But not if its on the 1st-4th. Dumb stuff like that. And I find it so stupid when I sit and talk about it now but when Im in that mindset where my head starts racing and I get all these good feelings from it it is SO hard to stop myself.
@4032860
You what...?
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Then, after inevitably watching the same videos I despise, hate, and wish to never see again, I close out of it. No masturbation, just watching it. Then the images haunt me for the rest of the day and I regret it so much. This does not happen too often, I go through patches where Im strong and dont watch it for weeks, but then patches where I am weak and watch it for 2-3 days before telling myself I need to get my shit together. How do I deal with this? Am I really that weird for somehow becoming addicted to something so strange and degrading? I just want to quit porn for the rest of my life and be able to see an interracial couple in public without thinking about their personal life and what they do in bed, then hating the fact that they're together and I'm upset all because of my stupid addiction. Help!
@4032862
I didn't understand your english please help me !
>>4032860
hahahaha Y̨̧̡̬͉̻͉̠̳͙̗̦̘̟̫̖͛̍͋ͭͨ͊ͧͣͣ̔̾͢Ę̢͇͖͉̮̲͙͇̯͖̖͓̎̉ͨ̍ͥ͌̏̇͛̓͛̈̊ͬ̚͢Ả̵̸̰͇̪̝̠̭͖̟ͭ̈ͦͤ͛̒͒ͬ͂̐̚̚͠͝K̀ͧͤ̓̑͋ͬ͐̈́̔̇̍̚͝͞͏̡̼̻̭̮͙͈̙͉̳͔!ͬ͆̂̌ͪͧ͐͛̓҉̛͜͏̫̳̫̩̬
Have you ever considered having a sex
>>4032905
I had a sex with a gril a lot of times but that was a long time ago and it's almost worse than being a virgin because I know hoe good grils feel on my benis :(((
