I'm done making League of Legends videos, I'm sorry for my fans that only watch my League videos but please, go watch my other videos, I put so much work into them and they're honestly way better. I came to this decision when I was playing a ranked for my new video where I was gonna get diamond. Somehow we actually won this match and then I was two points shy of a series when I encountered this play. This Malphite would just run down everybody's lane and feed kills until he was 0/9. Uh, we also had a Bard mid. We also had that going. And it was at this time that I called this Malphite "a fucking worthless brainded scumfuck bastard pile of trash mental dickface that should be gunned down in the street like the degenerate [he is]." Now, there is so much wrong with this. First, why am I being banned for talking shit in a video game? I can understand being banned for cheating or going AFK a bunch of times or picking Orianna AD Carry or feeding on purpose. But talking shit to some guy who is a total dumbass? What is this, fucking pussy-ass baby pre-school time? Talking shit is probably one of the only fun parts of this boring-ass game. I might as well just play The Box if you want people to act like robots, Riot. I wonder if they understand the root of toxicity is THE GAME, it's just not fun and it pisses people off. Let me be serious here: League of Legends doesn't work as a competitive game or a fun party game to play with your friends. As of today, I have more than 8,000 matches played on this game, so I have some legitimate grounds to review the game on. Laning Phase: The other guy sits under his turret and farms creeps for 20 minutes. Then the rest of the game, both team walking around the map, accomplishing nothing until some dumbass gets caught; that's every match in a nutshell. The death timers are too short. The bounty system punishes you from doing good. The turrets are fucking annoying. The rank system doesn't work at all. Most of this is just the game constan
tly inhibiting how good you can actually do, and any great competitive video game-there are so many techniques and opportunities for a great player to just whoop some ass. In League, you don't really have those options and because this game wants to cater to the biggest audience possible to make the most money like Call of Duty, it's just gonna stay that way forever. And that's what I feel like I'm doing with my League videos. Even though my appreciation for this game is waning all the time and I wanna hit you guys with all these different kinds of videos and I've stuck with it because I know my fans wanna see me play League. Now, I know some of you are out there like "But Dunkey, what about the 'pro players?'" Now, please understand this. Pro-League of Legends has absolutely nothing to do with "real" League of Legends. The pros are in matches where all ten guys are amazing at the game. In REAL League of Legends, there's gonna be 3 decent guys and 7 retards. At its best, League is just something to play in the background while you talk to your friends but a lot of the time it's either too frustrating or monotonous. If my friends actually get into it and try to win, we'll just get mad at each other and start yellin'n'get into an argument. Uh, but most of the time, people just keep alt-tabbing outta the game and pay very little attention to the actual game, y'know? It just isn't engaging. And then the match stretches into the 40-50 minute mark and nobody cares at all at that point. The matches just go on for way too long EVERY time. So, I'm not enjoying the game. Nobody I'm playing with is enjoying it. But I still really wanted to finish this video up for you guys, cuz you know, when I got all the footage assembled and I've accomplished what I set out to do for the video, that's when I have my fun, makin' it come to life, y'know, doing the editing, doing the voiceover-that's the payoff for me, that's the ENJOYABLE part. And I've been consistently putting out League vi
deos since I started out on YouTube. So I emailed Riot and I said "Hey, could you guys unban me so I can finish this video up?" Now, keep in mind during my WHOLE CAREER of being the top guy promoting their game for 4 years, Riot has done almost nothing to help me out or promote me and I e-mailed them for this first and ONLY favor, and they responded me "NOPE, YOU'RE TOXIC." And this is when I realized that this company doesn't appreciate me at all or anything I stand for. I think multiplayer games should reward the time and practice you put into them and that you should be able to call other people "scumfuck bastards" and connect with your friends and have fun playing with them, and League of Legends offers none of these things, so I'm done with it. I'm done playing League of Legends. I'll continue to play video games and make videos because it's my passion. I love to make you guys laugh, and I wanna keep making better videos and I wanna represent games that I truly enjoy, and League has lost my respect. It's lost the magic that used to make it so fun for me. And it's lost its soul.
>>4013912
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'II have you know l graduated top of my class in the Navy SEALs, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kiIls. I am trained in gorilIa warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kiIl you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>>4013925
u lil fuker how dare u speak to me, moderator of dankmemeleaguecheats.wix.com like that. i'll have u no i served in vietkong and have over 2 confirmed kills with my trusty .44 magnum. as i injected dankmemeleaguecheats.wix.com into my arm, those american fkers knew they were fuked. i set the aimspot to head, the speed to 100% and enabled silent-aim and turned on fake-down. boom, boom. my trusty .44 landed 2 clean 1taps into those filthy muricans on ESEA and they knew they had fucked with the wrong 12 year old. the filthy muricans were running scared. they knew they couldn't take me out. my head was in my chest and i was upside down. the only thing left for me to do was to unload dankmemeleaguecheats.wix.com so that the cheat police that were patrolling above the vietkong jungle in their chooper wuldnt see me. fear me, fight me. i will 1tap u.
>>4013927
Enjoy. Sooner rather than later you're going to get acne, have to take SATs, buy shit for girls and have to watch their stupid tv shows with them and then be confused when they get all mad when you're playing an hour of playstation right after you've watched 2 goddamn hours of american idol, then eventually you'll attend college, get a job, have to give up all your money for rent and food, get married to someone who won't let you live how you want to live, then grow old, forget who you are, and shit your pants and drool on yourself until you die in a pool of your own filth. So enjoy being a carefree kid playing Sim City while you can. It will be over sooner than you think.
>>4013932
Anime should be banned. All these fcuking weeaboos do all day is waste their time watching stupid little kiddie cartoon, be it in class, at work, or in their fcukin houses. These delinquents should be kicked out of fcukin USA, these unholy faggots. Fcukin weebs want me to respect their right to watch animistakes? FCUK NO ANIME IS NOT A FORM OF FCUKIN ART, IT SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN JAPAN WHERE IT BELONGS, WITH THOSE FCUKIN PEARL HARBOR SYMPATHIZERS THAT CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO OUR LIVES. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME THAT YOU HEARD ABOUT A JAPANESE MALE THAT HELPED STOP COMMUNISM? NEVER, BECAUSE THEY HAVE A FCUKIN JAPANESE COMMUNIST PARTY WITH 320,000 FCUKIN MEMBERS THAT PROBABLY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME WATCHING SOME FCUKIN GAY HENTI SHIT
CHINA HAD IT FCUKIN RIGHT, BANNING ATTACK ON TITSAN AND DEAD NOTE, THEY WERE COMPLETE SHIT LITERATURE AND WATCHING IT IS LIKE WATCHING FIRE BURNING DOWN A HOUSE, IT'S FCUKIN BORING AND DESTRUCTIVE.
I FCUKIN SPENT LESS THAN 20 MINUTES YESTERDAY FORCING MYSELF TO WATCH SOME SHIT SHOW, CALLED STONERS GATE OR SOME RANDOM CRAP. SHOW WAS FCUKIN TERRIBLE, THE MAIN CHARACTER GUY THINKS IF HIS HAIR IS MESSY THEN HE IS AUTOMATICALLY COOL, ITS THE FCUKIN PENGUIN OF DOOM AGAIN
AND THEN THERE WAS SOME FCUKIN CONFUSING SHIT AND NOTHING MADE SENSE, SEE THIS IS WHY ANIME SHOULD BE BANNED IN THE USA, IT'S NOT GOOD IF IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE IN THE FIRST EPISODE. I WANT TO KNOW HOW THE PLOT WILL END AND SEE AT LEAST FIVE DEATHS IN THE FIRST EPISODE, AND IT HAS TO TAKE PLACE POST-APOCALYPTICALLY.
WHAT THE FCUK IS YOUR GUYS PROBLEM STILL SITTING AROUND? WE NEED TO GATHER AND CREATE THE ANTI-WEEB SOCIETY. WE WILL HUNT DOWN WEEABOOS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITATS AND SHOOT THEIR FCUKIN KNEE CAPS. THEY WILL FCUKIN WISH THAT THEY NEVER DECIDED TO TOUCH THAT ANIMATED CARTOON SHIT PAST THE AGE OF FIVE YEARS OLD
THIS IS A NEW AGE. ANIME WILL BE ENDED. ANIME WAS A MISTAKE
>>4013937
37 here. Have pounded many 20 year olds into asking for time outs. I masturbate (and cum) while they're still catching their breath. I fap plenty, before, in between rounds, and after rounds. And I know a few other guys like me. You did say some, so i'll give you a pass on that.
As for the sex doll, I HIGHLY recommend that, for endurance and stamina. Get one of the training tengas/fleshlights, turn on some kick ass porn, get plenty of lube, and fuck the shit out of that toy. Once you come, keep going! Slow down a bit but keep going. Eventually, the oversensitivity goes away, and viola! You've just learnt how to go multiple rounds. Practice makes perfect; eventually you get to the point you can keep going multiple rounds like this.
>>4013940
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.
>>4013942
Wilson Carter knew nothing about baseball. But that didn't stop him from signing up for pitcher at Ruggles Academy. It was dinnertime. A lone wolf eats a babydoll made of cabbages. Etc etc etc. In other words, the town crier was out of a job. This meant no more spring water for the village. No more soup for Old Yimmy. Not even a sop for Hamster the striped ferret blind in one eye. What does this all mean? It means our city is turning into a hitchhouse for bellomed swavers and snorpitious grunzlers. If that doesn't convince you to go Tory, nothing will. That's when Elizabeth Merritch slammed the door and collapsed on the bed. Why? Who? Whispering pups? You tell me. It could be that oversized fleshlight named Graceful Jenny which was at the breaking point not from girth but from overusage as they tend to deteriote after being soaked in lye water. Do what you want. I don't care. I'll be in the barn feeding the termites Devil Juice. Peace.
>>4013942
Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m. p.s. in.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's . A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
>>4013949
I sexually Identify as a Bernie Sanders. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over America dropping free college on disgusting Republicans. People say to me that a winning the nomination is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon shave my head and install Glasses and dank memes on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Bernie" and respect my right to give from above and make dank memes needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a berniephobe and need to check your socialist privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I'm not telling you to bow down and kiss Bernie's ass or anything like that, or that he's your superior. I am asking you to recognize that he takes care of a lot of the worst shit for you. You need to stop pretending that Bernie Sanders in the modern world is oppressing and raping females. Take that bullshit where it belongs -- over to Muslim countries and other assorted 3rd world shitholes. Go "take a stand" that is actually brave. Help the females that are actually oppressed in places like Saudi Arabia. That would actually be brave, m'ladies.
