To brighten up mood here's a funny 1
>be me aprx 13
>friends convince me to go to LARP event
>wtfiveneverdonethis.jpg
>two hour drive there
>finally fucking there and ready to party
>friends say there's boobs and booz everywhere
>hours of wandering around in pirate costume
>balls are sweaty
>can't find a drop of water, let alone alcohol
>returntobasecamp.avi
>find bottles of sunny-d
>down two stash one
>friend 1 sees me stash it
>hey make sure no one drinks this and pisses in the bottle or something
>wtfdidithinkwasgoingtohappen.gif
>go LARPing like a boss and beat the crap out of some neckbeards with foam swords.
>getting dark so I head back to camp
>who knew I would be so thirsty
>look in cooler for some drank
>fucking vulture friends got to it all
>remember my stash
>foresight is 20/20
>immeadiatly down half the bottle
>tastes funny and not the potato-trying-to-throw-a-football kinda funny
>wtfdidijustdrink.p
>decide I was just imagining it
>take second swig, then third
>yupdefiantlypiss.avi
>friend 1 shows up
>what the fuck man! did you piss in this bottle???!!
>shit eating grin
>I didn't think you'd drink it I thought you were joking lolxddd
>hindsight is 20/20
>friends decide they'll make it up to me
>hey we saw a bar with an open back when we were raiding the ship wanna steal some rum?
>not a good idea buttfuckit
>wander around in dark getting lost
>at this point I'm wearing my brothers t-shirt because my pirate costume was filth
>have to piss out the piss
>mfw the longest line in the century to get into the portapottys
>we end up cutting the drunk adults
>wild 8/10 qt3.14 appears hammered
>h-hey coodyouguys halp me to da fronnadaline?¿
>+10 assist bonus
>she comes out after a bit, my brother wants to hit on her so we wait like fagits
>she's slurring up a storm about how cool we are
>says if we come back to camp we can drink with her
>start to panic because I'm a FAGGIT and I've never drank much before
Cont.
What do you do with a drunken sailor?
Cont.
When our heroes: Annon his brother and friend left off they were talking to drunken grill about maybe getting some drink
>explain to drunk girl we're underage
>friend looks at me like I'm a parypooper
>girl looks to the heavens for guidance, or maybe to watch the pretty colors
>she suddenly gets way to fuckn close
>*in a loud af whisper* shhhhh! It's okay! I'm only 17
>brother of the year steps in
>don't listen to Annon lets get turnt
>that's the spirit!
>follow her drunk ass to her encampment
>wooden fence with tiki torches
>mfw the camp we raided earlier and where we were gonna steal booz from
>iloveitwhenaplancomestogether.gif
>girl stumbles into camp to talk to some people were standing around like the three stooges
>takingwaytofuckinglong.imagr
>decide fuck it I'll walk around for a bit
>brother and friend stay behind for possible underage drinking madness
>get bord as shit real fucking fast
>sneak into 18+ slave auction
>lol bewbs
>decide to head back and see what my friend and bro are up to
>meanwhile random dude with makeup and lady's undergarments runs over to me in a hurry
>dude! Can you cut me loose?!
>notice he's tied up
>cut the rope with pocket knife
>thx dudebro *scurrys into great beyond*
>get back to wooden camp
>friend and bro already drinking
>fucn
>hey! Annon's back!
>friend and bro offer me a cup of homemade beer
>down that shit
>feeling tipsy already
>night goes on and we mostly chat with drunk girl and her bf (she shattered my bros dreams)
>suddenly a cryer appears
>hey! the guards are coming to check ID's!
>fuck fuck fuck
>captain Morgan says we have to leave but we can take a beer each for the road
>time to stumble back to base camp
>game faces ready
>okayherestheplan.dranktoomuch
>if we get caught by guard we scatter in all directions and meet up at camp
>decide not to go straight back because we were feelin it
>watch some naked mud fight
>bearded constable outa no where
>have you kids been drinking tonight?
>oopsshatmahself.gif
>brother pulls off acting of the century
>naw man we're acting like pirates!
>alright then move along this show is 18+
>bullet dodged we feel invincible
>start acting rowdy af
>follow group of drunken bards
>17 bottles of beer on the wall!
>17 bottles of beer!
>group of pirates appear
>have you seen our pink willy?
>uhhh...
>...
>...
>no?
>he's a kid we nabbed in our crew for drinking underage
>dirty man in the back steps up
>yeah! We tied him up and put him in makeup and girls underwear
>lolwut
>yeah I saw him like an hour ago he ran thata-way!
>thanks mate!
>debrief friends on our way to the boardwalk
>meet group of slave owners
>girl in bondage gear and chain leash held by smoker
>smoker asks if we wanna get spanked by his slave
>imasitthisoneout.avi
>brother volunteers
>slave girl gives him lousy spank
>brother is feeling rowdy
>come on my grandma hits harder than that!
>she grabs paddle and spanks him again
>come on put yer back into it slave!
>with determination she puts her leather spiked back into it
>inB4 she rolls a 20
>critical hit
>I turn to the smoker while my brother hold back tears
>hey can I get a hit of your cigarette?
>it's called a drag man, he hands me his fag
>never smoked before
>don't know what came over me
>friend grabs cigarette
>we pass it around and before we knew it it was gone
>smoker was a little irritated and he walks away
>whatever man, we begin walking again but are stopped by three guards
>yellow sashes read "gaurd"
>you kids are clearly inebriated you're gonna have to come with us
>party's over gents
>brother tryed his hardest
>no no were just pira-
>he vomits on the gaurd and immediately faints
>friend begins carrying him
>we follow the gaurd
>realize this is my chance to make an escape
>do a complete 360 and run
>idk how I made it
>back at base I try and explain what's going on to other two guys who came with
>I'm really drunk so they just laugh at me
>suddenly gaurd appears at tent demanding I come out
>fuck they found me!
The great escape
>friend says I have to come out
>play dead and pretend I fell asleep
>they buy it
>when the gaurd is distracted I see a mesh air vent in the tent
>thisismyonlychance.gif
>I tear through the tent and run
>blackout
>come to senses an hour later in near a campfire
>some topless niger is singing with her tittys out
>realize I just walked into someone's camp and made myself at home
>there was even a marshmallow on my stick
>gtfo before anyone realized what had happened
>new mission: find the camp and turn myself in
>this had gone to far
>good news and bad news
>found the camp
>they fucking left me!
>despair and fall asleep where tent was crying that I wanted to go home
>wake up next day to motor sounds
>some gypsy lady was inflating a bed for me and said that later on she would find my parents
>sleep like a rock for an hour then wake up in a panic again
>decide to go looking around again
>cold as fuck in my brothers shirt and hungover like you'd never believe
>find the wooden camp and stand there staring for a bit
>realize what a shitstorm I was in for
>ANNON!
>turn left and see my dad
>both relieved and scared for my life at this point
>one last ditch effort to play it cool
>uhh hey dad
>ANNON YOU ARE IN SO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE!
>uhh...
>...
>...
>what did I do?
>YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU LITTLE SHIT!
>takes me to his car and beats the crap outa me
>get jack in the box on the way back and I'm force fed it
>dad sends me to my room and I crawl into my bed
>brother rolls over in his bed
>good they found you
>yeah...
>bro...
>yeah Annon?
>do you regret it?
>he just smiles at me and passes out
>I close my eyes slowly
>yeah me neither...
>>3942662
I'm not this is my story
