Why don't you guys learn to lucid dream?
>Get to do all kinds of crazy shit
>Fly
>Shoot lasers
>Make your Waifu and possibly fug
Any other robots trying to truly "live the dream"?
How do I lucid dream, and does it actually work?
>Start to lucid dream
>Things start to become unstable and blurry when I realize that it's a dream
>Wake up within 15 seconds
Every fucking time
>>29601872
Just be yourself, works every time to be honest.
If your name is Duncan, then you're a fucking white trash little punk cuck
thanks fuckhead
i'm duncan these testicles, and maybe my penis, in your mouth? lol xd holla back girrrrrrr
>>29601882
Fuck you, you fucking nigger cuck liberal
>chilling with a childhood homie at his place
>hear a thud in the kitchen
>his dad is dead on the floor
Fucked up world we live in, fellas. He was only in his early 50s. Can't comprehend what the family is going through.
>>29601816
Death comes for all eventually
>>29601816
Jesus I hope I don't live that long
thats fucked up
o
Let's have a trap thread guys
>>29601753
Sounds like my kind of thread
>>29602091
Bring all your friends, bring all the cute boys you got
>>29602091
hmm image didn't upload, take 2
fucking captchas taking forever
I went to a bar for a concert and I sat down myself. A group of girls nearby started talking and one of them pointed in my direction and then all but one left. I thought "surely this girl's friends didn't just tell her to talk to me" but I guess that's what happened cause a few minutes later she walked over to me. She said something I didn't hear (loud music which makes me even more autistic to talk to) and I asked what she said. Then, louder, she asked my name and I told her and she introduced myself. There was a moment of silence and she said...
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>"what else is there?"
should've laughed at her shitty joke OP
>>29601692
Don't be so hard on yourself. Maybe she was the autistic one. It seemed like an even exchange.
This reminds me of when I first came to /r9k/ in late 2014, and the prevailing sentiment that I saw everywhere was that only men can be autistic, and women are perfect, and if you don't ask out women, and compliment them all the time, and perform perfectly, you are "autistic".
This board is cancer.
I know that feel. Robot inside but 8/10 outside. Dress quite well. (Not fucking /fa/ shit.) Some girls have mistaken me for human on occasion and tried to flirt.
It only made me realise how absolutely autistic I really am.
How do I keep up with all the memes??? I am 24. I want to know how to deal with all these memes, I am sitting here obsessing over all the fucking memes right now.
How do I stay up to date with the memes???
you meme loving fuck
>>29601663
Stop being a faggot and obsessing over 4chan. This is nothing to aspire to. It's a complete and utter waste of time that will get you nowhere in life.
T. Oldfag circa 2006
>>29601663
>memes
consider suicide
>tfw had no interest in having relationship throughout highschool
>still no interest after 2 years of college
>starting to want someone to sleep next to, not a relationship or anything just physical contact
>thinking about this often when trying to fall asleep
It's probably unobtainable for me since I don't socialize or have friends in real life but I really want to cuddle with someone.also I want to be little spoon
>>29601614
>you will never have a qt bf that you'll hold in your arms before you sleep
>you'll never both wake up late on a Saturday morning and walk downstairs in your underwear to play some vidya together
>you will never gently nuzzle him and squeeze him tight from behind and give him a peck on the cheek
Heavy feelings
>>29601682
>ywn sit in his lap and lean up against him while he holds you tight
>ywn lay your head on his chest and feel his heartbeat as he runs his hands through your hair
I shouldn't have made this thread now I'm more sad than I was before.
>>29601738
Yeah that was a big mistake desu.
I haven't a fucking clue where to meet guys to be honest, I don't have friends, and I don't go out, and from what it appears, every guy in my city is very much into sleeping around and 'playing the field', nevermind finding an introverted one. I guess that's that.
>you will never fall asleep hand in hand, the only audible sounds being your breathing and the heavy thump of your heartbeat
Cut your flesh
>>29601607
Disgusting. Cutters are the absolute worst type of attention seeking faggots.
>>29601607
Merely watching that makes me extremely uncomfortable and uneasy. I'm either a pussy or cutters are courageous.
>>29601693
did you immediately go to /r9k/ when the board was created or are you new?
>TFW shave pubic area
>TFW masturbate that same night
>TFW my cumshot is so powerful it shoots onto my face
I'm not afaggotbut I do love a smooth pubic area. I just think it feels better when I'm fapping if I don't have pubic hair, maybe that's just me though.
>Inb4 faggot
>Inb4 closet pedo
>>29601594
I do the same thing. Kind of conditioned myself accidentally so that I start leaking precum when I shave
>tfw a lewdanon starts teasing you and talking about sucking your cock
Lately I have been jerking it totally naked and wait till I get super hard before I touch my dick. Its more fun this way
your at the pool and this futa slaps your gf on the ass
what do you do?
note she's the leader of the futa club and her cock is strong enough to lift adult women
Wasn't there a /d/ thread for this exact situation?
>Grab her by the extension lead
>Play javelin towards the deep end, OR
>ASSUMING SHE IS OF AGE, AND IS HORNY AND ACCEPTING
>Jerk her off while playing with her cute little nips
>Stick your dick in her while you GF pleasures her face, tits, whatever.
>Once she starts going psycho, just throw her in the pool.
>If...
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I'm an adult, and a man.
That's a child, and a girl.
I stand up and beat the shit out of it, and if it complains, I stomp on its dick until it wishes it never had one in the first place.
>>29601588
>You will never experience life as a qt futanari highschool girl.
Do you want to know what it's like to be a "chad" who's a complete degenerate?
>been in long term relationship with an 8/10 girl
>Crazy over me and now engaged
>so sweet to me it hurts sometimes
>have had a 2 year relationship on the side with a girl who I call Captain Fat Tits in my phone
>Crazy but had 34H tits and relatively thin considering her massive mammaries
>also...
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm in the mood, and if I could I'd use an orbital weapon on you. It would cost billions but you have the honor.
You're an unfaithful piece of trash. If you came here to find sympathy, you will find none.
>>29601578
>finds rare sweet faithful woman
>cheats on her
ungrateful bastard
>alexander the great won his first military battle at age 18
>tfw you're in your late 20s and can't even get a gf
You have more to work up to when only 30% of the world is known, you are the only motherfucker who's allowed to have a frozen drink and you're expected to die at 45.
He also fucking died before he got to thirty, the pussy.
>tfw literally the same age as people claim Jesus was when he was crucified.
>Was handed father's vast and highly trained army and already expansive empire
>Has corpse stolen during infighting after his death
> Surrounded himself with snakes, got bit
Does anyone else have Rare Samsons?
I need to expand my collection ASAP.
>jim cramer
>invest karma in pink drapes fags
>>29601521
>sucking tripfag dick
why don't you DO something with your life?
>>29601561
You seem kinda bitter.
Samsons pretty nice senpai, maybe you should try it too
Once, I had a girlfriend. But she seemed to think she was more important than the Internet and video games, so I broke it off. Women are dumb.
true that brotha
I learned you can actually get dick cancer and hope it happens to you opee, then you can browse the internet all you like anyway and get rid of vestigial parts.
>>29601557
I have already given up on physical desires. I am enlightened.
I love the smell of a nice musty unfinished basement more than any other scent I've ever smelled. It's so good. Sometimes I sit in my basement and just breathe in deeply for a good 10 minutes. I wish I could bottle the scent and uncap it when I'm not home and just take a big whiff. I wish that someone made a basement scented candle. It's just so fucking good.
Do you have any scents that you love?
>>29601498
>Do you have any scents that you love?
the head of my dick
>>29601577
yeah cheese is an okay smell
>>29601577
That must be a tough one to get a whiff of, you must be flexible.