>"Heh, I knew you'd be here. I know where you leave the key."
>An older man who you don't know opens your door and walks straight into your room without knocking. You experience a rush of surprise, fear, anxiety, and anger. You try to cover your exposed penis while closing your porn tabs.
>"Don't worry, I've already seen you naked. Because... well, I'm you. You don't know it yet, but in just 1 year you will become obsessed with the dimension of...
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>>25123433
so what you are saying is that we can jerk each other off and it's not gay
Well anon, you better not have been lying to me when you said it was 8 inches. Whip it out, and if its 8 inches I'll suck it. If its even a millimeter less than that, you get nothing.
>what do?
>>25123379
I wonder if they sell fake tape measures...
>>25123379
Hope she doesn't notice that's the centimeter side. I will definitely be over 8 if we use that.
I never said that roastie, and the fact you will suck a dick just because it's 8 inches tells me you're gonna give me numerous STDs. Leave my home.
>Huge exam tomorrow
>Forgot study material at school
fug
>>25123374
Can you jump the fence? I've had to do it a few times.
Got a similar situation. I'm gonna be sick tomorrow.
Everyone is saying "Star Wars this" and "Kylo Ren that!" But no-one is saying "worship this" and "Jericho that!"
is that show still on ?
FFS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqwByZAMoys
Kyle Ren kills his father, Han Solo, right?
I haven't seen the movie but people keep spoiling this particular plot point. Also Mace Dindu dies too?
>tfw failed edgelord
or a shitlord > sithlord samething
>>25123197
>This is what an edge lord looks like in real life.
>life before real sex was capped at 30 fps sadness and school shootery rage
>life after experiencing alot of sex is 120fps blissful umaru sunrise
>>25123093
> wants us to think sex will solve our problems
>>25123093
>so low bait that doesnt need .jpg img
>December 20th 2015
Can you believe in 5 days it will be Christmas?
It feels likes September/October atm
hasn't felt like a real christmas since the late 90s ever since berstian and stien bears
>Girl dumps me
>spoil Star Wars for her
Who /lastlaugh/ here?
This thread was shit the first time
>>25123059
One time a girl tried to pin a rape on me
I posted her nudes online, got her arrested for domestic abuse, sexual harrassment and an attempt to start a riot lol. stupid bitch should have just let me break up with her.
>>25123079
>he browses r9k 24/7
One cute Pakistani girl revealed to me how she lost her virginity to her Handsome boyfriend but never so much as kissed her Pakistani fiance' when she was engaged.
Honestly life is unfair being born a guy in those savage countries
>savage countries
Are you implying that the exact same thing doesn't happen in every country on the planet? How new are you, my friend.
>>25122998
>savage countries
Do you mean England?
>tfw you got a blowjob in the bathroom in highscool
Know that feel, brobots?
no not really desu senpai
>have friend who consistently ignores my texts and calls
>IRL we always get along and he's very considerate
>but texting him is like texting a bitchy hot chick
>would sometimes take DAYS to respond to my texts
>he'd always have a lame excuse like how he was sick
>had enough of it
>he texts me "hey"
>don't...
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Please respond back
Respond please to be honest
What's do you call a frog public pool
REEEEEEEEEEEE'spond
Fuck i can't enjoy multiplayer game having retard as team mate is not fun
that sandworm looks delicious
since this board is really a chad board, i need help how to talk/flirt with a girl on snapchat
she just posted to her story some lame balloon that said "party" on on it at a party with a lot of background noise. i flew out of town yesterday and I'm pretty sure she knew this
what should i say? i can't be too aggressive yet, anything flirty should only be mild
>>25122930
Send a dick pic. That usually works in this situation
>y r u celebrating me going away :(
Guaranteed to get you some poon
>>25122952
shit tier
>>25122960
bretty good desu, was initially thinking along the lines of ''thanks for inviting me to the 'party' " to see what she would have said , would this have been so bad?
Daily reminder that even Chads can be trannies.
You have to admit, it takes a lot of guts to give up your status as Chad to become a member of one of the most hated minorities the world over.
>>25122913
He's pretty hot as both a guy and a girl, so I think it's more that attractive people will always be attractive.
>become trans to become a tomboy
What the actual fuck is the point of this? Who cares about sex/gender expression and shit being different.
>chads
still look more like cringy robots at the top
bait harder please
Do you like Pepe the Frog and the Feels?
you did not even get dubs
feels bad man