Okay, so this is my first greentext story as I'm new here.
>I'm a junior in high school.
>I'm hanging out with my SO and our friends at a table outside our lunch room.
>She makes a witty joke about me and I punch her arm.
>Out of fucking nowhere I hear this bloodcurdling shriek, like a pig squeal "WREEE."
>Everyone's heads jolt over to the source of the noise and we're met with a sight that actually made me gag.
>It was this morbidly obese guy that looked like he was in his 30s, he had this stupid looking hat on, poorly made steam punk goggles, an unwashed beard that crawled all the way down his neck, a rumpled trench coat concealing a Hannah Montana shirt that fit terribly, and he was covered head-to-toe in these mystery stains that make me sick the more I think about them. I don't even know if he was wearing pants or not.
>He was standing behind a column and glaring out at my entire group but after I punched her shoulder he began "briskly" waddling over to me with a look of murder on his face.
>I just get up and stare at him, an eyebrow cocked wondering whats going on.
>My friends laugh as they see him stopping twice to take a breath and by the time he's to me, he's drenched in sweat.
>When he finally makes it to me he leans back and throws one of the most hilariously slow and telegraphed punches ever, he even makes the stupid punching through pose despite clearly missing me like he's some sort of anime character.
>I ask him what the hell is going on.
>He screams, at a deceptively high pitch and volume, that I just assaulted a "beautiful female," and that I don't deserve her in this stupid faux-British accent.
>What. I tell him that it was a friendly punch and she isn't hurt, she's not even upset.
>He continues screaming: "a female should be punching YOU! YOU'RE supposed to treat her like a goddess!"
>Hoo boy this next part pissed me the fuck off.
I'm meeting the character limit, so I'll continue in the comments.
oh shut the fuck up OP this didn't happen
>>27178925
mediocre bait, but sage out of disrespect.
>>27178925
Most of this board's content is satire. But yes, it's pretty sad in general.
Can I still be pro black with an Asian boyfriend?i feel conflicted. I'm the girl standing with the Asian guy.
Pro-black is about solidarity against whites. That's 'colored peoples identity'. As long as your bf isn't white, it's fine.
>>27178727
Aren't Asians honorary whites?
>>27178744
only japanese
Tfw you buy the last box of your favorite condoms from the store before some other normie does.
>condoms
sex isn't worth having with these
>>27178621
what do you need condoms for?
>>27178665
These are the best condoms.
>>27178690
Making Balloon animals.
Who is your bestfirend(s)?
For me it is my Dad, sister, and a guy that moved away.
>Who is your bestfirend(s)?
(You)
>>27178552
my friend who I've known since elementary and his younger brother.
>>27178552
Used to be brother but we've been drifting apart. So i have no best friends.
ITT post:
>your age
>how many girls you have asked out in your life
>number of dates you have been on
>when was the last time you had a conversation with a girl in person (excluding family members)
>number of girls you had crush on
>Let's find out who is an actual robot in here
>>27178479
>25
>1
>0
>don't remember
>2
>your age
23
>how many girls you have asked out in your life
6
>number of dates you have been on
0
>when was the last time you had a conversation with a girl in person (excluding family members)
A conversation? Its been almost six years since high school ended. I've briefly spoken to cashiers at stores though, I don't know if that counts.
>number of girls you had crush on
Fuck if I know. About...
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>22
>0
>0
>last Friday
>2
How does alcohol "makes you feel better"?
Should i become alcoholic?
Will that help with my NEET depression?
>tfw i can only tolerate beer
>liquor is disgusting and made me feel so sick i begged to die to make it stop
You feel good for awhile provided you don't overdo it and you fall asleep before you start coming down
also drink a lot of water so you don't get hungover the next morning. Hangovers are all about dehydration.
its numbing and makes you care less
will make you fat tho
>>27178393
That good feeling isn't guaranteed though. Half the time I just get really really angry and want to break shit
I heard that /r9k/ is filled with people who feel bad. I want to make you feel good. How can I make you feel good?
I don't know. And If I did there would be others to help me if required.
I used to be like you op. Quite a while back. I think you should quit 4chan and pursue a happier lifestyle. You help more people in total that way.
Spread'em.
leave this place, so that you can live a happy life
I've noticed in porn that the Chad pornstars never seem to moan or indicate that they are enjoying a sexual activity nearly as much as a robot in that position would.
Even the few ones with foreskin don't tend to moan, but they do admittedly moan more than they cutties.
Still, is it just because Chads have had sex so often and have become so expectant of sex that they just don't appreciate it anymore, like we would?
It seems like sex with a beautiful woman like in porn would cause the man to moan a lot and be appreciative, but they never...
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>>27178264
I'm guessing it is the macho reserve. Alphas like to play it cool during sex.
Chads enjoy sex but with different women each time as they quickly get bored of their gfs. That s why they cheat so often. They need to fuck something new to enjoy it.
>>27178264
What are Chads?
>tfw the girl you love is already in a relationship
>>27178137
>tfw the girl you love is not in a relationship but still won't even look at you
>>27178137
>tfw the girl you love was free but you couldn't make a move and now she thinks you're no longer interested and no longer replies
>>27178165
Exactly. At least OP has an excuse for not going after his oneitis instead of having to confront the fact that he's an ugly coward
Have any of you tried Nofap / NoPorn?
It's worked wonders for me. My grades are up, i feel more confident, less depressed, anxiety is down, and much more energy, which pretty much fuels the above.
Given how much fucking porn gets posted on here I'd say you guys have a problem. Break from the cycle. Don't let PMO take control of your life.
I've never done no fap, but I've noticed that my libido has been steadily decreasing, and for the past week or so I haven't even bothered fapping even though I mostly do it out of boredom.
Shut the fuck up, this looks like a troll, but either way, No Fap is a myth. Your testosterone goes up 140% after 7 days, then it drops back to normal levels. All effects are placebos or results of NOPORN. Porn is demonstrably bad for your brain. After quitting porn and now jerking only to very vanilla images, I feel fantastic. Stop preaching the false deity of Nofap
>>27178307
>very vanilla images
What, like intense eye contact or something?
>there are guys with big dicks in this board that cry about being virgins and alone
Literally how? That's like me being a millionaire and crying about being hungry.
>>27178086
The hard part is getting laid the firs time. That's the spark that starts everything and word will spread like wildfire that you've got a big dick
>>27178130
yeah anon, your dick will be the talk of the town...
Big dick is normally little and shriveled. It only gets big when I take the pants off to do dick things and if someone sticks around for dick things it's already a home run even if it's not big.
They arrest you if you take a dick out in public so how does anyone know? They don't.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0D1EIokVVsn
whaddaya want your girlfriend to say to you, arcanine?
You're gonna make it.
>>27177957
Annoying voice. Can you do better?
>>27177957
The inaugural address of William Henry Harrison: http://www.bartleby.com/124/pres26.html
Why do you think normies hate video games, anime, and comics? Also, on the rare occasion they do like them, why do they like the shit ones like Halo or Deadpool?
>>27177911
Normies have a hive mind of sorts.
They just follow on what's popular to hate on or like. Ybry have no individuality.
You can even see it on here, as a lot of people hate on moe and shit.
>>27177911
Because they aren't ~SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE~ and they generally require to be ~INDOORS~ while being inside is a ~SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE~ thing to do for long periods of time.
>>27177942
>Implying normies are the only ones who have a hivemind.
r9k is one of the biggest circlejerks I've ever witnessed.
Blackbots from anywhere Why the fuck is it so god damn difficult to get just one black woman to date us?
Why are they so hostile to us, literally laughing in your face or flat out pretending you dont exist, yet they melt into chocolate mousse as soon as a white guy breathes in their direction.
Who the hell do they expect us to go for if not them???
Tfw getting btfo rejected by obese single moms
>for a white guy
I think you're mistaking black women for Asian women
>>27177611
I bet you aren't light-skinned. If you're light-skinned black bitches will automatically assume you're as wealthy as any white man.
I'd love to ask a qt black chick out, but I've always assumed they don't like most white guys. Was this a false assumption?
>22 years old neet
>living with mom
>became a wagecuck recently
>life is now: going to work, coming home and playing video games, repeat
Now what?
Death by your own hands before you hit 30.
>>27177463
quit the vidya
>>27177541
No. It's literally the only thing I can look forward to nowadays. Honestly, I've just been thinking that this is it. I've reached my goal. Pretty much the only thing that was really bumming me out when I was a neet was that I wasn't making any money. Now that I am, it's weird to think that I don't have a big problem in my life right now.