The closest way to reach heaven is to daydream what makes you most comfortable and have someone shoot you from behind at random so you don't anticipate it.
>>28747480
your premise is that you will have no memory or lasting residual benefit from pleasure during life in death
therefore it makes no difference if you do that daydreaming right now, and die in agony
idiot
>>28747546
You're actually retarded in a pathetic way.
>>28747616
damn I've been thoroughly owned by /r9k/ yet again
last night I took a girl out to see captain america with me. on our way there i told her i liked her outfit and she told me she was cold. at the theater she gave me a cookie. she told me she had baked it at home earlier and I told her it was delicious. she liked captain america but said it was too violent. on our way home we took selfies together. when she told me she was cold again i put my arm around her. while we waited for the bus i put my arm around her and she put her head in my chest and rested it there. while I was walking her home while I had my arm around her she asked...
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Did she tell you she put that cookie in her pussy?
I think she put that cookie in her pussy before giving it to you.
>>28747566
no she didnt say that
do girls do stuff like that
>>28747425
>Today she texted me 'you up' and i said 'ya' and she said 'lol finally' so i said 'wats up' and she said 'nothing really i just couldnt sleep last night'
How the fuck do you get a girl to actually text you? I can get girls to reply to my texts, but of course sooner or later they all stop abruptly without any explanation. To actually have a girl text ME, even after a date where they showed that much interest is fucking incomprehensible...
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Which one of you was this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/4kii3u/japanese_pop_star_mayu_tomita_age_20_is_in/d3faxal
>some cuck gave her gold
>she doesnt see the hipocrisy
>the slut doesnt understand how social dynamics work
>she doesnt get that him giving her gold is a sure sign that he wants to stay in her mind as that guy that gave her gold for later wking and embarrasing tries to get with her
i hope they all fucking die
I saw this and immediately wanted to post it here, but of course it's already here.
Fucking otaku.
>>28747507
get cucked bitch
sdfghjkl;l,kmjhygtfrdtfyghjk
>2016
>chestlets exist
>theyre still trying to compete
even early teens have big tits, what are you doing chestlets?
Good thread familys.
Hot all next week lads
>>28747340
Fucking hope not
>>28747318
What did he do to leave the 40% blind?
When I was in primary school playing football the 'best' kids would always go on one team. We were beating them one day and I was in goal then when I got the ball on the ground one of them slid in on me because he was angry we were winning and he permanently fucked up my middle finger on my left hand. Still hurts 12 years later senpai. He didn't get in any trouble because he just pretended it was an accident.
for new thread
>>28747340
first?
Original comment?
Please read. Thanks
>I'm 22
>my brother is 24
>we don't have any parents or family except eachother
>we also live togerther in a house our grandma left us
This happend on friday but I'll start with all the backstory
>2012 I met this girl in uni
>she's about 5'6, slim, bonde hair, small boobs and green eyes
>we became friends...
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>I said ok
>my brother wasn't that thriled when I told him but said it was fine as long as she does her share of the house work
>so she moved in with us in April
>she moved her stuff in one of the two spare rooms that we were using as a closet
>my brother was cold to her when I was in the room with both of them
>fast forward to this month
>she recovered...
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bump
original kommentare ist not
>>28747793
I would try catch them again and film it, absolutely ruin their lives while you"re at it and send it to everyone they know, as well as post it on the internet. You'd probably get her to frantically apologize and your brother would try to fight you but thats what i'd do. I'd do that and then An hero after seeing the aftermath
Describe your dream partner
last thread was dying and I wanted to get the attention of the one person who replied to me
>cute/pretty, sexy isn't necessary but a bonus
>wears lots of hoodies
>likes to cuddle
>into science, maths, reading et cetera
>plays same vidya, likes same music
>clingy
>nice hair and smell
>nice...
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>virgin
>loyal
>4'8"-5'2"
>90-110lb
>cute
>white or asian
>very shy when I tease her
>Shortish hair
>no piercings/tatooes
>few friends
>doesn't party
>will cuddle with me...
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>only potential DREAM gf ever may now be gone because I replied too late to a post
FUCK
>>28747328
>doesn't browse /r9k/
>average like pic related
ive grown to be attracted to average girls like this
Who /trying to quit smoking cigarettes/ here?
>been a half-a-pack-a-day smoker of Marlboro reds for 3 years
>started when I was a stupid, edgy 16-year-old, currently 19
>live in a state where a pack is ~$10
>come to resent the fucking shit out of smoking
>no longer enjoy the taste
>smells like shit, gets on my clothes
>whole family (except my mother whom...
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>>28747222
Weed is dank man
If you smoke enough you'll probably feel the same way about it though, that's me rn.
dropped cold turkey. 3 weeks today. I have 1 cigg just sitting on the counter and the temptation is so strong but holy fuck must resist. Kill me man kill me.
>>28747368
OP here, ever try jasmine tea? Jasmine tea is great for putting the bullshit in your head in the backseat so you can think about your decisions more clearly.
Fembots, this guy enters your room and slaps your ass? what do yo do?
>negative canthal tilt
This man is genetic garbage.
1/10
I only fuck black men, this creepy white boy looks like he's gonna shoot up a school or enslave someone.
>>28747138
Don't tell me if this guy wasn't famous that women passing him on the street wouldn't think he's a rapist or a serial killer and by seriously creeped out by him.
Let's have a contest to see who's the most autistic person on this board.
I unironically like Sword Art Online.I'm also actively making Asuna and Yui tulpas to be my irl wife and daughter. I also only speak to them in Japanese.
An autism contest huh? Well I've got a story for you.
>3rd grade
>Watching some cartoon on Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network or something where someone puts peanut butter on themselves for some reason.
>I thought it was pretty funny so I bring a jar of peanut butter in my backpack the next day
>Decide that once lunch time begins I will start smearing peanut butter all over my face, arms, and legs.
>I thought that...
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>>28747253
I was going more towards what makes you autistic now, but still a funny story.
Fembots, would you date someone else who browses this board?
What characteristics would they need to have?
>>28747116
I am dating someone who browses this board.
>What characteristics would they need to have?
Need more specific questions than this tb h
Not a fembot, but let me cut this short, they'd need to
>be over 6 feet
>big dick
>muscular
>Chad personality
>handsome face
>good at sex
>>28747148
Personality traits.
Physical appearance.
Virginity status.
Job/education.
Etc.
want someone to talk to? need a way to vent? want to brag about recent accomplishments? need to complain about your week? would you like some advice? I'm here for you! (you)'s for all. let me try to help somehow someway
I want to do something big
I'm going to transfer all my pain and anger onto the world
>>28747184
do you plan on hurting other people?
>>28747257
I don't know what I'm going to do yet
but yes it would be pointless if it didn't involve people feeling as powerless and helpless as I am now
Since most of us won't ever have physical and sexual intimcy with a girl, why not sucking cock at a gloryhole ?
>closest you can get to being sexual with someone else
>hot and naughty, perfect to get off
>you can do it as much as you can, you greedy cocksucking slut
>might not be 100% straight, but you're loving on the cock, not the man
>you don't see the guy, the guy can't see youComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
This is exactly how you get AIDS senpai
because I want a bf to love me not just fuck me
are you part of a government agency doing some gay mkultra shit in my board?
Walked 10 steps from my house today before my panic attack
Maybe I'm actually on my way to making it
Nice job I took out the garbage and only sweated a little bit
I got out of bed and only had a mild heart attack.
I typed this post - my first form of communication with real people in 6 months - without shitting myself twice
>obnoxious friend of brother comes over to house
>barges into my room to see how autistic I am
>sees my harry potter bed sheets
>i'm 20
>he laughs uncontrollably at me
>pic related
I read the first 6 books but never really thought harry potter was ever all that
Was kinda bored most of the time reading
get a slide lock on your door.
then hang yourself.
>>28746903
I would probably laugh at you too. If it were LotR or Hobbit sheets I would be cool with it.