Morning anon....
I hope you slept well, are you gonna get up and make me some yummy brunch?
no, you have shit hair and eyebrows
>>28949096
I hope there's a noose hidden under your blanket...
>tfw no cute /comfy/ bf
Do you get respected a lot as a soldier in America?
>>28949048
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND THE TROOPS YOU CAN STAND IN FRONT OF THEM FUCKING COMMIE
No, 4chan contrarians that have never worked a day in their life whine about soldiers being welfare queens. College liberals whine about them being baby killers. If I could enlist, I probably would so I could swap four years of my life for a college tuition payment. Considering I'm broke as fuck.
>>28949048
Pffft no you get treated like a god. They get meals at restaurants for free, discounts everywhere. You wont have people coming up to you every minute saying 'thankyou' but yeah only leftists and commies hate the military.
>be robot
>Get gf
>Leave /r9k/ and put /fit/ and /mu/ as my main boards for the time
>Become a le Norman
>Find out that she was cheating on me
>Come back to /r9k/
Well that happened. I got to touch her penor and everything
How was the home while I was gone.
This was never your home
Welcome back, normie. Fuck off.
this happened to me too and now we're talking again after two years
looks like I'll be a Norman again temporarily until I get cucked again
sucks being such a pathetic beta cuckold that I can't stop loving someone who has hurt me so much
>tfw dropped out of high school
Why did you do that, you dumb faggot?
>>28948965
>Why did you do that, you dumb faggot?
**Why'd you do that, you dumb, faggot?
>>28948975
Useless correction. My sentence was correct.
>Hate every job ive ever had
>Dislike people
>Dont want a family
>Hate relationships cause women a shit
>Have absolutely no goals or motivations other than abstract ideasl of "living in farm in the middle of nowhere and doing nothing but living off the land and not interacting with anyone"
>>28948950
It's achievable...
>>28948950
Congrats, you're a total failure of a human being.
>>28948950
>The man who is isolated, who is unable to share in the benefits of political association, or has no need to share because he is already self-sufficient, is no part of the city, and must therefore be either a beast or a god.
which one are >we robots
>nothing to eat for 3 days
>drink only tap water
>didint lose a singel kilo
more proof that being overweight is a genetic illness
Come on anon, no need to lie on the internet
>>28948916
That's impossible.
Maybe you've got something hefty hidden within your rolls of fat.
>>28948995
didint even make this up
>toilet is clogged
>plumber coming tomorrow
>know its all the cum stained kleenex
>dads gonna be pissed
don't destroy evidence in the toilet.
kleenex cant clog a toilet, its too thin.
just jam something in there to loosen it.
>>28948763
Cut out the middleman and make your deposit straight into the toilet. Don't fuck around with kleenex.
Flushing your toilet every once in a while might also help.
I flushed a slice of pizza down the toilet and got it working again, without use of a plumber. You can fix this on your own.
un4chanately "unfortunately" has 4chan in it
>insert_kek.jpg
medium rare kek
K7k / k10k
>>28948719
did you learn that from a 4chan cookie or something?
So, I'm 20, and the girl I'm into right now is 16. Is this socially acceptable?
if in america, no, anywhere else, probably
>still associating with children
When I was 19 this 15 year old girl I worked with had a huge crush on me
This Chad got hired there and I caught her sucking him off in the basement. He was fucking huge, when I walked in his dick was on her face and it was a good length longer than her head
Turns out he was 26 and they had a thing later on after I quit
Think about that, girls born after the year 2000 are willing to fuck a guy 11 years older than them because he has a huge cock
Pic related
>>28948769
Why is that so weird? Girls love older guys, and not just because of cocks or whatever. They love that a guy so mature is paying attention to them of all people.
>girl gets on train
>sees a male friend of hera
>sits next to him
>starts exhaling and breathing fucking loud as if she ran a marathon (it's possible she ran to the train tho)
Would she start inhaling so loud if she sat beside and unknown person or someone she doesn't trust? What is she implying with this? It's a sign she's into the guy?
>>28948600
she had a vibrator in her snatch and was orgasming.
Now this is some vintage pasta
>>28948633
Are you retarded? I just wrote it myself. I'm on the train right now.
Wanted to post proof but the photo is larger than 2 retarded megs.
Can't take it fucked up morning pancakes, was going to kill myself last night fell asleep woke up distracted myself by making pancakes and wasted 7 eggs fucked up threw it all in the garbage. Dog pissed on floor. Have to mow lawn. No friends missed out on everything, don't get credit for anything, get lectured about things I'm already doing, get talked to like a regard, no one takes my side, everyone fucks me over. Put on 30 pounds in last month, waddling now
I'd eat your pancakes, pal.
Only if they're blueberry ones, though.
what so they say to you when they talk to you like a retard?
just fuckin do it, no need to be an attention whore on r9k
faggot
> Have an uncombed afro, although whiteboi
> Stopped caring when I entered hikki life, what can I say
> Kinda annoying and itchy
> Tried to shave myself, but 10$ machine gave up on it
> JUST.jpg
> Go to barber
> "Oh, you sure haven't been to the barber for along time, right?"
> herewego.mp4
>...
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>>28948490
>tfw you have curly hair and you either looks like a 8/10 or a 3/10 depending on your hair
>tfw your hair won't do anything it just wants to curl
>tfw people call you Will Ferrell
>>28948518
>Jewwy greek afro on head
>It only looks good when wet
Always thought I was 6'0 for some reason. Got my height checked by an infallible wall stuck tape measure, turns out I'm 5'10
What's the most painless way to kill myself
>>28948462
Does it even matter? I'm sure there are worse things going on in your life than you mistaking what your height is.
Set yourself on fire
It overloads the pain receptors so that you end up feeling nothing at allIt doesn't really lol, that was a joke
same thing happened with me, thought my dick was 6 inches but was only actually an even 4.5"
metric is a superior system but damn if it doesn't set you up for a fall
Daily reminder you're in love with a woman you know you can never have.
How are you holding up?
How are you holding up?
>tfw you're on phone and the scroll function is fucked, making you repeat yourself like an idiot.
Anyways, im not sure why i even care anymore. It's always the same shit, but for some reason i still feel like shit. Why have we evolved to feel jelousy?
She rejected me long ago but I still think about her. I think I have to kill her.
>>28948402
Shit sucks, anon. Tell me about her.
HOLY FUCK
Sorry for poor English
> finally get qt virgin gf, prude but pleasant and motivated personality
> date for several months, introduced to her mother
> pic somewhat related, her mom looked just like gf but taller and MASSIVE tits
> one day her mom asks me to help out with the garden as gf leaves for work
> hot day, take off my shirt after a while
> mom eventually comes out...
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> starts jacking me off while dry-humping me and kissing my neck
> instinctively grab her waist
> she kisses me on the lips again, slides down and starts sucking me off
> goes slowly at first, then begins to deepthroat
> I'm moaning like mad, feel incredible pressure building
> warn her, she nods and keeps going
> blast an incredible load into her mouthComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Itt: the graduate
Also things that didn't hapen
But if that did happen to me I'd be super careful, even older women are still women.
pictures of mom or it didn't happen