http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/opinion/sunday/why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person.html
Is this the result of no-fault divorce? Have we been entirely conditioned to accept that we will not be with our partner forever?
Or is it a factor of age and immaturity, where we get married young while ignoring warning signs with the unfounded opinion that love conquers all? Too many people seem to marry thinking the vows will make their partner change, because of the weight of the commitment. Is this feasable?
For most of you, this will not matter, but some of you are married, and i'd like to hear your story. Did you get married before truly knowing you partner. Is it worth being with someone for a long period of time before commiting to marraige, or did you believe that marriage would solve the problems in your relationship? Is it possible to marry for life on puppy love alone when divorce is so easy?
Our society has gone from one where, if the marriage was broken, we fixed it, no matter the cost because it was a lifetime commitment to one where a second or third marriage is so usual it is almost the norm. Who is to blame? Women? Societal shifts? The jews? Ourselves?
It's the result of the media telling people marriage is about love at first sight when it isnt.
Arranged marriage was good. Parents really do know better a lot of the time
I think its fine to marry young if your attitude is totally different. You jave tl accept that feels aren't the basis fkr the marriage. This is how orthodox Jews and muslims and asians do it and even in the west there was some similarities until the mid 19th century when ''romantic love'' began to be pushed with novellas for bourgeois british women
>>80871124
It seems hard to have a long term stable relationship without marriage because there will always be the expectation of marriage from your partner or other people in your life. I have been with my gf for 8 years, and I am constantly barraged by questions like "why aren't you two married yet?" Even though we both agree that it isn't time. For some people that expectation drives them into marrying well before they know their partner, which inevitably leads to big problems.
I don't think we can hold ourselves to the same standards as our grandparwnts, unfortunately, where marriage was always for life and you worked out your problems regardless. We've been taught and reinforced in the belief that our personal happiness is the only thing that matters, kids and spouse be damned. That attitude will probably never change.
Nah, it's just that where in ages past it was easier for most to compromise than divorce it's now easier to divorce than compromise.
People haven't changed since 3000 B.C.
We don't evolve that fast.
>>80871985
I'm single and have only had one relationship but it was with a traditionally raised Indian girl.
Her relatives had arranged marriages and seemed happy while her own parents had eloped to escape arrangements and come to America and their marriage was falling apart. My ex's father had converted to Islam and started beating her mother and her sister was bipolar and constantly holding her parents hostage with threats of suicide.
>>80871124
I met my wife when we were both 19, our birthdays are 2 days apart. We married in less than a year, at the age of 20. We're now both 21, still together. We both knew marriage was a good option for us at the time, we both have similar goals in life to start a family, and while still having differences we both work very well together and are the best of friends. Nothing wrong with marrying young, and I'm doing my best to combat the destruction of the traditional nuclear family unit. Thankfully she was very much into a traditional lifestyle as well. I'll contribute this to her strong Seventh Day Adventist upbringing.
>>80872232
Sounds like a shitty situation
>>80871124
Marriage isn't broken it's because people are lazy as fuck want instant gratification in all things. Actual marriage is hard, it takes work and a commitment from both partners to make it work and it can be made to work but people are too lazy and would rather seek out another relationship to enjoy the 'honeymoon' period which will always end instead of making marriage work.
>>80872389
I made a mistake with race mixing for sure. But i also learned the value of waiting until marriage (something my bluepilled college freshman self had no comprehension of) and saw firsthand that arranged marriage is not the evil oppression liberals tend to portray it as. Marriages based on ''love'' without long term thinking can turn to shit too.
>>80872427
As with what this anon said, marriage is indeed very difficult. I've only been married for just under two years and I can say this with the utmost certainty. It is no easy task to allow someone into your life and to have to change the way you've always done things in order to have things work out. But love and marriage is about sacrifice, and PATIENCE. Something I severely lacked early on.
I'm recently engaged to my partner of about 7 years. It really bothers me that so many of my friends chose to marry so quickly after meeting their spouse. I don't feel like you can build the kind of trust you need to communicate properly if you are only with someone for a short time. My fiance and I didn't really learn to communicate with each other until we were together for 5 years. Before that we lied to each other, not out of spite or malice, but because we were worried about the other's feelings. Telling each other the truth takes trust and respect, which cannot be built overnight. Now we can talk to each other on honest terms, instead of saving face or feelings, which ultimately lead to major relationship problems. I have seen many of my friends jump into marriage, only to have it crumble on the basis of lack of trust.
>>80871124
Read Love by Arthur Schopenhauer
https://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/essays/chapter10.html
>>80871124
>no-fault divorce
All those pop-psychologists, therapists, and counselors....
Allan Bloom was right about them, one day, they shall reap what they sow, and I, I shall be.
>>80872346
Hypothetically, if your marriage turned sour, would you feel an obligation to stay, or would you divorce out of pragmatism? I see the reasoning behind each, but it becomes a question of whether character outweighs the respect for her happiness. Would you let the marriage break apart so that she could pursue her own happiness outside of it, or is happiness even relevant to marriage?
Jewish media telling everyone to marry for love
The death of arranged marriage
The pill freeing skanks from consequences
>>80871124
If you make divorces easier and attack religion and separate sex from pregnancy, you will get more divorces and therefore a sicker society.
>>80872346
Similar story but two years after we were married we had a kid. Then that's when we went downhill. Two years after that we were divorced.
Most people that marry young end up in shit relationships because they rush shit thinking they know what they're going to want in five years. If that were the case I'd still be married and be in my first year of being an accountant.
Honestly I'm happier away from her and glad I didn't follow that career because now I own my own business and that kind of freedom is amazing.
>>80873674
Well neither of us believe in divorce outside of adultery, if she was cheating I would leave her, and I would expect her to do the same to me.
We have our rough patches at time, but we work through it. Nothing seriously like adultery of course, but just minor bickering over differences and such. Thankfully for the both of us, we get over things rather quickly.
>>80874242
Is society really sicker because of it? Divorce can be a chance to escape an abusive relationship, and an opportunity to give your children a better role model if one was lacking, right? It can allow people to have a second chance at happiness where the first failed, in some cases. Is that not important to society also?
>>80874535
I've considered this as something that could possibly happen, so I've just come to the conclusion that I will give the relationship my everything, but I won't get to the point where I am selling out myself and my beliefs to keep things going if they're simply not working. I have high hopes, and I do believe we'll be fine, we're good for each other, but I'm also a realist and understand marriage is a hard thing to keep going in this day and age. We'll see.
Ourselves.
Most people expect instantaneous results to everything in life and have no patience to work things out.
Divorce is an easy way out of things.
Shows a lack of character.
I personally don't care about the people who get divorced. I'm more worried about the suckers who marry a man/woman who has been through several divorces.
>>80874535
What would you say to someone who says you didn't try hard enough to make it work? Or that you have abandoned your child for the sake of selfishness?
I was watching Casino recently, and Ace's marriage to Ginger was so goddamn confusing.
You're incredibly handsome, charming, and successful. You can have any woman. But you go after a hooker who's still fanatically devoted to her pimp?
WHAT THE FUG
>>80874650
Come on man. Most divorces are from two adults not working for it now a days. If you're in an abusive relationship that's at fault. You don't need no fault divorces for that. There is a generation of young men today that were raised solely by women. It is a huge problem.
>>80871124
I'm not going to get married. I'd get screwed over in the courts if we left on a sour note. And god forbid if we ever had kids, then things would be even worse if we split up.
>college aged men no longer marry bright eyed teenage girls who aren't jaded HR cunts after their 40th cock
Tragic, if you can control their sexuality early you win
Most kids have no fucking idea how long term relationships work and are hedonistic on top of that.
> sister moved in with the "love of her" life bf after 3 months
> the bf is a complete doormat and she faced getting disowned to do it
> they eventually broke up , and she is homeless somewhere
While
> meet girl and get together eventually
> clearly has serious mental issues (abused and fucked with as a kid) and is fat as shit
> despite not always succeeding , she is always giving it her all to do better , lose weight and cope with the issues with my support .
> been together 3 years and still not living together , but we can both see us together for the long haul
Tbh I never though that my Autistic ass who has never before been in a "real" relationship would be setting a better example , what the hell.
>>80875043
you didnt understand. Ginger was a gold digger, she knew how to appeal to someone like Ace Rothstein, who like you said, could have anyone.
>>80875131
The single mom epidemic is related more to lack of responsibility on the part of males (ie refusing to marry pregnant woman) than it is a result of divorce. My anecdotal example is my father, who divorced my mother when I was a teenager. Now he is very happily married to a great woman, and my mother is happy on her own. I was still raised by both of them. And now they are happier separated than together. Is that not a positive? Isn't it healthy to pursue a happy situation over languishing about an unhappy one?
>>80875546
Preach. Tell this to all the idiots who shame virgins and say ''experience'' is a good thing
My wife and I have known each other since middle school. We started dating in high school, went to college together, dated for 6 years, and have been married for 2 years. I can comfortably say that I doubt we will ever get divorced -- we've both had no sexual partners other than each other, we're both intelligent and level-headed, we're both small-town Midwesterners, and we both want kids.
That being said, I still waited 6 years to propose, and 99% of women are garbage with whom no long-term commitment is possible. I believe that marriage really isn't something you should do frivolously. I just happened to get lucky meeting somebody perfect for me at such a young age.
On a side note, I love how secretly romantic /pol/ can be sometimes. I read a thread a while back about how diamond rings were a scam. I mentioned how my wife thought diamonds were a stupid waste of money, and posted a picture of our rings made from meteorite. Everybody got all sappy on me.
What is ideal for a marriage? How long should you be together before making that kind of commitment?
Is an age gap necessary? Is it helpful? Does wedding a young wife benefit you both? She gets a father figure who is mature and dominant. He gets to set the tone and rules of the love life and relationship.
>>80873944
I actually find old timey medieval arranged marriages very interesting to watch
> the couple don't care about each other and have likley never seen each other before the wedding
> though the years , they have to live and work together as the king and queen to keep the country well and raise kids.
> as they get older and are together they start to fall in love and get very close because of it.
Think pic related
>>80875971
My father and I used to go metal detecting often together when I was a kid. One time out we had found a nice .925 sterling silver ring. He gave it to me, and I ended up using that as her engagement ring since it had a great deal of meaning to me, and in turn it means a great deal to her. Even better, it made my father extremely happy to know that the ring meant enough to me that I would use it for that purpose.
>>80875971
How do you feel about someone saying you are still immature, and may be a different person when you reach your late 20s? Science says our brains are still developing until 25, and anecdotal evidence twlls me most young adults don't reach maturity in life or maturity in relationships until that point. Is it still responsible to enter into that kind of commitment when you are still subject to a great deal of change, socially, politically and romantically?
>>80871124
Seems more like people expect that marriage is a permanent honey moon period of life that will never sour for any reason if the person you want to marry is "the one."
>>80875971
All men are romantic, the trade off is how horny we are for any and all pussies
Women are coldly realistic, with the trade off being their urge to branch swing to the best available man
I'm a child of divorce, and I think it has turned me off of marriage permanently.
That being said, many of my friends are much older than I (I'm in my late 20's, they're in their 80's - I'm a ham radio op). What I have learned from them is marriage TAKES WORK. It's NEVER easy to keep a marriage strong. One of my mentors takes his wife out to a nice dinner at least once a week (almost always more), breakfast several times a week. At one point (in the 70s I think) when "girl power" was just coming into fashion, his wife asked for a divorce and he said "what for? Fine if you want a divorce that's up to you, but I won't agree to it until we go to therapy." So they saw a therapist together and sure enough it was just a phase and they are still together and happy.
It takes work, and a lot of people today aren't willing to work for their marriage. I think it all has to do with false expectations and lack of money.
I ain't doin' that shit though. I like talking to my older friends about it though. It's good to learn from your elders.
>>80871124
Just want to see what others think of my input, I'm not actually in a ltr.
So this gal I've been with for 2 months now is basically my wet dream. Every characteristic is a fetish, even some aspects of her personality. She's been through some shit (raped, gang raped, born as accident, terribly disfunctional family, used to worry about next meal, used to self harm) and met me at a really low point in her life. Same with me, I did drugs, had panic attacks (even died multiple times due to preisting heart conditions during such episodes, and the drugs probably didnt help), barely getting my life on track, dysfunctional family, had been in multiple psych wards on multiple occassions as a child. And once we met it just clicked, we weren't immeadiately better people, we just put immense effort into ourselves and the relationship. It turns out I'm her fantasy in every way, and she's the same to me. Every day we put our best (honest, open, or what have you) foot forward in an effort to be closer. He have our upsets and each time it does in fact make us stronger. We have similar amitions and likes, and each of our personal novelties is extremely interesting to the other. We've met eachother's families and we all get together, when beforehand her family had been hostile towards other men. I think we're imperfect, but that our love is perfect.
I think if we got married that our life together would be no different, just with a ring and a tax break. We're 18, and yet we see ourselves living then dying together.
What do yall think?
>>80876922
Great advice anon, thanks for the perspective.
>>80876637
Yeah, a ring with sentimental value is generally cheaper for you and more meaningful for your fiancee, anyway. My wife and I are both into astronomy and used to stargazing a lot when we first dated, so a meteorite ring was perfect.
>>80876706
I'm 25, my wife is 26, we already have a house and decent jobs...but then again, we're both responsible, independent, and stable people, and the vast majority of people aren't.
I certainly think it's safe to generalize that many young marriages are probably doomed, but I know ours isn't, simply because of our personalities and history together. I know I can't really convey that on an anonymous Peruvian tchotchke-making board, but whatever.
>>80876527
Pretty much
I remember reading an text by a young Roman lady musing about her new husband. She noted it would be "strange" to marry someone when you're already in love.
Part of the fun was going about your daily business and suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the feelings you grew for your spouse,
>>80877485
Well we're married now, and I fell for the diamond meme. I bought her a vintage diamond ring. She does love it, but looking back on it I should have given her something else. We had forgone a purchase on a wedding ring for myself because we aren't financially well off enough to make that kind of purchase right now.
>>80877458
To be blunt and short you're going to get memed on, hardcore.
Every time I've heard a story like that it ends up in a massacred ruin the moment something off comes up. Like something about her will be revealed that you didn't see coming (don't say there won't because there fucking will) or that she didn't see coming that just throws it into the fan.
Every time senpai. Every time.
>>80877850
>falling for the prismic jew
>>80871124
No fault divorce definitely.
Women becoming frigid bitches after marriage, women who let themselves go, men and women who cheat ... these are constants. Except now you can divorce when it happens.
Ignoring the demographic collapse it's probably for the best. As for demographics, lets just create artificial wombs and robot nannies for continuing our race and culture and leave men to enjoy their freedom (and women I guess, but they don't seem to enjoy freedom very much).
>>80871124
I think Millennials are getting more and more redpilled on both marriage and divorce, but Boomers are a total lost cause. Boomers are going to be the last "stupid generation." From Gen X onward, people as a whole are going to be much more informed about the dangers of social degeneracy.
>>80878058
Yea, I Jeb'd that one up...
>current year
>relationships
>>80871124
>average age of marriage goes up
>divorce also shoots up
>it's because people are marrying young! No marriage before 50!
Every. Fucking. Time.
It's probably a reflection of consumer society and the idea that the customer is always right. You don't commit to a business, the business must bend over backwards for you, who are always right. You can shop around all you want, with no commitment to any brand. Similarly, you can shop around for whatever partner you want, you are always right, if a partner/business makes a wrong move, then you will just divorce them/shop elsewhere. Consumer society creates minds incapable of the concept of commitment.
>>80878029
Oh, tryna spook me eh?
I'm not expecting smooth sailing m8, she isn't either. We're not getting married in a hurry m8, it seems kinda redundant. We pretty much live with eachoter anyways
>>80877850
I really think wedding rings only become a problem when they become out of your budget.
My wife and I thought it was silly to have separate engagement and wedding rings, so we just did one set.
I do think the ring gets a little more meaningful as you wear it, as it grows sentimental -- so hopefully when you look at your wife's ring in the future, that sentiment will override how much you spent on it. I mean, if you picked a good woman, you'll be seeing that ring for a long time.
>>80871124
Jokes on you, I'm a kissless virgin so never getting married
>tfw will die alone but at the same time will never be ruined by a divorce
feels ok man
I'm 33, married 8 years, just had a son last month.
You can marry too soon, when its just the "honeymoon" phase. Sometimes it works, but most of the time you haven't had time to analyze their character fully. Once you're with someone for more than a year, its difficult for them to put up a facade of any kind. The true self will out.
You can do the opposite; I know 4 couples that started dating at 14/15 years old and are now married. They've never dated anyone else. Never had a break-up, which is a terrific learning experience. Its motivated totally by the fear of being alone, so they grab on to the first person they meet and don't let go until death.
>>80878459
I'm trying to prevent you from being blindsided by Osama Bin Laden in a 747 co-piloted by Allah himself.
GLHF
>>80875971
You're the Fucking meteorite guy? Shit, sometimes I forget that while shot loads of people visit here, far far less post.
I think we all deep down want a working relationship, but that might just be because we're dreaming that it's possible to have it. Romance fades, people change and anything can happen. People seem to forget the main reason people stuck together for centuries was because there was literally no way out. Religion was big and it was the only answer.
We walked away from it all and for some reason wonder why we can't stand our partners. Well we never really could, but before you HAD to deal with it, now you have an option that ruins families and destroys mens trust in an entire gender.
>>80877458
Speaking from personal experience, falling in love with a girl who is a danger to herself is going to hurt you bad.
Getting married will just make it all the more difficult to get out of the relationship, should you need to down the road (and given her mental history it's a real possibility).
After 2 months, you're in the honeymoon puppy love phase of the relationship, so obviously marriage seems like a good idea. But will it after 2 years?
>>80878545
You aint never heard that meme
>it's dank to love and lose then to never love at all
It's pretty true, I've taken heroic dose psychedelics and could equate the tremendous experience to the feeling of love, except I feel it every second of my life now. Kinda like, oh shit an innate part of me which didnt exist before is now being masturbated by a deep connectikn to my loved one. And then oh now that a new mode of cognition is a personal part of me, idk what I'll do without her
>>80878863
>You're the Fucking meteorite guy?
Oh shit, I'm a trivial celebrity
My ego can't handle it
>>80877458
I'll give you the same piece of advice my father gave me.
"Don't stick your dick in crazy"
The sooner you learn this the happier you'll be. Your girlfriend is a mental time bomb waiting to explode. Do you really want to be around for that?
>>80878996
I feel it senpai, but just to clarify that's behind her; I only mentioned it for reference. Our honest feelings and opinions of eachother have created a drive to sort ourselves out, and we always have eachother for additional support.
But ya I've been with a gal like that, super psychotic. We got along nice but there was always something fucking her up, which would he projected or directed towards me.
>>80877458
Honest assessment: you are far too young and immature to know commitment and it's consequences. You both have issues that you are lying to each other about and will certainly haunt you later. You have an addict's personality, which cannot be fixed overnight, and will lead you down the wrong path at some point in the future. She has her own red flags in the form of mental illness. Why do you think either of you can responsibly enter into a lifelong commitment with all these warning signs?
It is very telling in the way you refer to her as your fantasy and you hers. That is not rational or healthy. What happens when one of you does something the other doesn't like? Does the fantasy end? If you change over the next decade (which you surely will) does that mean you 2ill no longer have a "perfect love"?
You have been with her for 2 months. That is not long enough to trust each other, regardless of what your clouded mind tells you. Hell, 5 years is sometimes not enough. Fact of the matter is, it is impossible for you both to be honest about your relationship right now, because all you feel is puppylove. If you marry this girl, it will end in failure.
>>80875043
Ace had the patience of a saint.
If I'd been him I would have killed her and hired a fucking shaman to resurrect her so I could kill her again
>>80878419
This is an interesting assessment.
>>80878545
Are you a KV by choice or situation? How old are you? If you were offered an arranged marriage, would you take it?
>>80879638
It sounds NEET as shit but it's funny how some shit works
> many years ago I had horrible suicidal depression
> saw TTGL and i found myself climbing out , modeling myself (realistically of corse ) on kamina as a role model
> eventually pulled myself out and life had been better
> years later meet gf who was in the same place as I had been
> I end up being the kamina role model to her (we had both seen TTGL so the irony had not missed her)
Still together 3+ years on
>>80880385
Forgot pic
>>80878608
Is this better or worse than an arranged marriage? Will one of them jump ship if they find a "better" partner?
What's your marriage check list?
>long term financial stability
>same core beliefs and values
>dated MINIMUM 2 years before engagement (preferably closer 4)
>same education level
>same socioeconomic status
>mutual understanding and willingness to work-out issues
>approval of both families
>mental health
Thoughts and additions?
>>80879638
You havent even been together long enough to know if it's behind her. Plenty of people can fake it for a few years. Plenty make it into marriage before finally showing their power level. It's shocking how I've seen women completely 180 once they feel "secure". You'll have to test her plenty of times. Get drunk plenty of times with her, family, and friends. Make sure to note how she acts.
I know by your age that's it's just not worth the risk to assume everything is going to be great. We all go through that phase.
>>80873362
What's the meaning of this ?
What will you be ?
>>80880467
Good thing that's not my list, though I check out for the most part.
>Financially, we live comfortably. Not exceptional though
>Same core beliefs, yes
>Dated just under a year
>Once we both finish school, yes. Though there will be a few years between us. Mentally she is totally competent though.
>see above
>Definitely
>My family loves her, I'm not loved by her family (long story, they are religious fundamentalists and I was Catholic leaning, they also thought I beat her)
>Both of us are sane
>>80879638
>that's behind her
No. It isn't. Not at 18. Think about it. The next time something bad happens in her life, that ticking time bomb will explode.
You're also 18. I know it's hard, but you should listen to your elders about love and relationships, because you are still VASTLY inexperienced on this front. Your experience is with extremely immature girls, not women.
>>80880505
>>80879640
Thanks famalam.
I needed a slap in the face. I'm 4shore not going to stop trying at "us" and trusting her, but I'm also not gonna proceed as if there's no issues to consider.
I suppose I could think up and answer to the questions right now; however, that'd be couterproductive considering your points, it's true I'll just have to feel things out for a while
t. nigger
Wasn't this debunked as a jew article? A jew wrote this to make whites not marry and let the white race die out.
>>80880467
>same core beliefs and values
>same approach to finance
>dated MINIMUM 1 year before engagement
>mutual understanding and willingness to work-out issues
>approval of both families
How do you judge "long term financial stability"?
>>80871124
I will marry the wrong person because the amount of pure female conservative virgins is practically non existent.
Or I wont marry because I realize how broken non virgins are.
I'll probably get a village girl from a third world country instead.
>>80881290
Surely. But that doesn't mean that the premise isn't accurate. You can easily name half a dozen people in your life who are divorced. Probably quite a few who divorced after only a few years. I know I can. The (((author))) may have ulterior motives, but that in no way shadows the actual problem.
Marriage will disappear within our lifetimes, jews or not.
>>80876527
Or die both because some girl of joy gave you an STD that you gave to your spouse.
>>80881290
Wow /pol/ is right again
>He was born in Zurich, the son of Jacqueline (born Burgauer) and Gilbert de Botton, who was born in Alexandria, Egypt and expelled (along with the rest of the Jewish community) under Nasser. Gilbert went to live and work in Switzerland, where he co-founded an investment firm, Global Asset Management; his family was estimated to have been worth £234 million in 1999.[5] De Botton's Swiss-born mother was Ashkenazi, and his father was from a Sephardic Jewish family from the town of Boton[clarification needed] in Castile and León.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alain_de_Botton
Somebodys gotta stop these kikes
>>80881808
Man, someone should rescurrect coincidence detector.
>>80873362
>Allan Bloom was right about them, one day, they shall reap what they sow, and I, I shall be.
What did he mean by this?
>>80881341
It's subjective, but to start I'd say a long term career with good job security. Also the ability to buy a house/condo in a safe neighborhood with good schools (if you want kids).
>>80881776
Was Aldous Huxley right all along ?
>>80882125
He was
All those stories like 1984 and BNW that took place in the future , we're living it.
>>80882020
Yeah, that's what it means. But how do you assess it?
I heard somewhere that average cost of divorce is $50k. Many people go bankrupt with divorce or something? Because I read somewhere the most people can't even cover the emergency expense of $1k.
>>80880467
You're forgetting a few of the essentials, though I think it could fall under mental health.
>Good relationship with both parents (no daddy issues)
>No tattoos, or unnatural hair colors.
Both are solid warning signs for even a first date.
Question for those who are still lurking. This will give some insight into your relationship. Here's the situation:
You have determined that your girlfriend/wife's pussy stinks. It is bad enough that it is difficult to enjoy penetrative sex, and impossible to perform oral. You realize that this is starting to affect your sex life and happiness.
Do you tell her? Do you put it to her bluntly or dance around the issue until she gets the idea herself?
How does she react? Is she offended? Does she accept your request and change? Does she change out of respect for your wishes, or because you demanded it, or simply the selfish reason of wanting more sexual pleasure?
Honest answers please, we all know that not every girlfriend will react kindly to something like this.
>>80874535
Great your ex wife is now cumdumpster for some chad
>>80882414
you and potential spouse have to ask yourselves if you are comfortable with your finances
it's an inexact science
>>80882493
Protip: circumvent the entire issue by only dating women who bathe
>>80877458
Enjoy your future alimony payments retard. Seriously, you fucking deserve this.
PS she wasn't raped OR gang raped.
>>80874559
>Well neither of us believe in divorce outside of adultery
That's pretty much where I am with my ex-fieance/current gf. I proposed to her and she said yes, but I saw we were pushing too fast, and I was too immature to be married at the time.
We have been together 4 years and starting our fifth year. We've lived together for 3 and a half od those years, but we are both hesitant to tie the knot.
My dad's first marriage failed catastrophically, and then he met my mom and they've been married for 30+ years. The stories of his first marriage scare the shit out of me.
On my girlfriend's side, her dad became a piece of shit, but her mom stuck by him since she is hard core Catholic.
We both come from parents that experienced bad marriages, so we're a little hesitant. We're getting past it though since we see we are not really like our parents.
>>80880053
TOP KEK
>>80882892
we're talking chemical imbalance, not lack of hygiene. Either way, it's a hypothetical. Answer it if you can.
>>80882299
I saw weeks ago an article on that subject.
It was comparing BNW and 1984.
One future is enslaving of masses by pleasure, the other by fear and mind control (over vocabulary).
Irrelevant, but saw Soylent green some weeks ago, the chills of that film...
>>80882493
Really depends on which Trust™ level you're both
>>80877458
If you can't be happy by yourself and need someone to be, it's gonna fail
>>80873027
That's weird. I don't hide anything from my girlfriend. I tell her all the time that I wish we could deport all blacks (even though she has a black adopted cousin) and once I saw her reading a book about aliens and asked if there was anything in there about jews. I also tell her that women who racemix should be forced to wear a badge so that good men can steer clear of them and that only a failure of a parent would let their child date a non-white (even though I secretly know she used to date a South American mulatto).
I met my wife in high school. Dated for 13 years. Got married 4 years ago (been with her for 17 years total, holy fuck, that's scary) anyway accidentally knocked her up two weeks ago. I'm not real pleased as we were about to start constuction on our house but oh well. Barring infidelity there is no reason to divorce. If you are unhappy, tough shit deal with it. Prudent prior planning prevents piss poor performance.
>>80882493
If she doesn't get the idea, then you tell her.
If you can't talk about stuff like that, then there's a lack of trust and she's not wife material.
>>80882959
I think this is the hardest part for our generation. Most of us, if not a vast majority, have divorced or disfunctional parents. For those of us who reach maturity before marriage, this affects our decision making, whiile the young and immature fall for the same pitfallss as our parents did. Boomers have basically shown us the worst marriage has to offer, and we increasingly lose connection with the generation before them that could show us the best. Parents of the boomers treated 50+ year marriages as the norm, because they were. While our generation sees a third marriage as very likely.
God damn, the Boomers really fucked our society, didn't they?
>>80871124
>You Will Marry The Wrong Person
If we accept that premise then it's time to reform divorce laws so everyone leaves with what they arrived with and the money you earn during marriage stays yours.
Oh wait that's sexist.
>>80877458
2 months is nothing. A woman can hide her crazy for about 9 months. Come back and tell us all about it in a year.
>>80871550
>Allowing another person to decide who you spend your life with
What a cucked mentality
>>80871124
I got married to my wife before we wereready. I had to move out of state for a career and she is from a conservative family, so I felt I needed to either break up with her or propose. So I proposed and married after finishing my overseas tour. I didn't truly know her to the degree that I wanted, but I knew enough to assess it was the right choice.
She had a good value system, raised by a caring family, didn't aspire for material wealth, and all round put others first. I had no intentions of letting marriage change her, but rather allow marriage to better understand her.
Still with her five years later with two kids. She likewise felt we got married too early, but more because we had kids soon after and didn't let our relationship mature enough
Been with my qt gf for 4 years this August. I was her first and she is 7 years younger than me. It's funny because she is more mature than most of the dumb broads I grew up with.
Guess I lucked out hard.
>>80883879
Talking about political beliefs is different from being able to tell them something they don't want to hear, like a problem you have with their behavior.
Example: my girlfriend recently moved in with me, and she likes to put her fucking towels on the doorknobs after showering. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, because you can't close the fucking door when you want to without removing the towel.
Some people would find it difficult to criticise her behavior without upsetting her, so they avoid telling them, and let it fester in their minds until a fight. Bad call.
I can tell her that I don't like it without fearing that she will become offended and know that she will make a legitimate effort to change.
It takes more trust in your partner than you think to be able to ask each other to change or to disagree with each other's behavior.
>>80881650
Here's some more stats.
>>80871124
It's a combination of no-fault divorce, immaturity, the deconstruction of Western Shame culture, and the sexual revolution.
>>80872427
This.
People also bring way too many preconceptions and other baggage into it as well, setting themselves up to fail with unrealistic expectations.
They think there should be guaranteed outcomes for everything and are quick to blame when the chaotic nature of the universe strikes.
>>80884974
>deconstruction of western shame culture.
Bingo. Shame is a huge force in controlling society and fighting degeneracy. Most people haven't realized that the jews aren't actively creating degeneracy, they are removing our ability to shame and letting degeneracy flourish on it's own. We are fighting the effect, not the cause.
>>80883487
The internet itself is the biggest cause of degeneracy. Anonymity and too kuch privacy prevents shaming.
As much as 4chan clings to anonymity it is part of the problem. You can't shame people from behind screens. I guarrantee most people here do something degenerate that would have been shamed in the pre Internet era.
4channers complain about leftists and feminists shaming but really they do a lot of things that should be shamed themselves.
>>80884974
Wow thanks saved
>>80886109
>implying posting something and being called a massive faggot by a dozen people doesn't affect you even a little
ur a faget
>>80886109
Cause the sexual revolution, hippies, crimes, storytelling, all started from the Internet.
> It is known
Tell me what you think I do is shamable ?
>>80874784
That's not to say my ex sister-in-law isn't still married. She got married the year after we did and is a year younger than us.
>>80875004
We tried but I'd rather have my kid see me and my ex 90% happy 50% of the time than 25% happy 100% of the time. We tried marriage counseling through both the church and mental health professional. Just got to the point where I rather have my daughter raised half the time away than be in a toxic relationship.
>>80882731
Actually she's with a fat nerdy guy.
>>80884388
India'a divorce rate:1.1%
America'a divorce rate: 50%
Who's cucked now HMMMM :^)
>>80878459
It could work out, though statistics would indicate that it's going to be a disaster.
All I can suggest is wait for 2 years before you make the marriage decision.
After the 2 years, evaluate the relationship. Has it been relatively stable? Have either of you gotten bored? Are you still madly in love? If yes, then start to think about marriage.
>>80871124
love isn't a just a feeling, it's also an attitude and a set of actions/behaviors.
as a society we get caught up in the "feeling" portion of love, and lose sight of the attitude and behaviors that we should practice.
>>80886109
I could not disagree with you more. We are not interacting with people we know on 4chan. Shame comes from our direct friends and family, and is ignore if it comes from anonymous sources. This is not the internet's fault. Anonymous shame has always been ignored.
The ones who are able to shame, are using it to dismantle the shame culture. SJWs have taken control and reject outside shame while at the same time use it to cow others into submission. This is the only place we can talk about it in real terms without being shamed ourselves.
>>80871985
Third post best post.
I know a number of people who got married within a year or two of meeting someone. That seems absurd to me, there's no way you can come close to understanding a person in that time span. Particularly when you're young and your views are more or less in some form of constant flux.
>>80887752
>India
Well, you have millions of people who, even if they wanted to divorce, they would end up remarrying another disgusting shitskin, so they figure one is just as good as the other and stay together.
In India, everyone realizes the street is always just as brown on the other side of the fence.
>>80871124
What type of sad idiot would get married these days? Do you want to lose all your money!?
>>80880307
By situation, I didn't want to end up like this but I'm just terrible with women and unattractive so..
I'm 22
I don't think an arranged marriage would be right for me, I'd probably make a lousy husband.
>>80871124
you are all retarded
you should have looked at the author of the article
this guy is a philosopher and he runs a philosophy channel on YT
it's not about social degeneration at all
it is about the nature of people
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuKV2DI9-Jg
>>80888828
this t
>>80871124
i got married a long time after I met my wife. really probably ended up marrying her because I saw long term potential in her, due to her being a virgin and also extremely honest and hard working
>>80890113
Believe it or not, I didn't become attractive until my late 20s early 30s. Before then I was a fat nerdy loser. The only thing I had going was my height, which is only 6'0". Then I lost a bunch of weight, and I cut my hair short (which is starting to get peppered by grey) My features aged very well, and while I'd be the first to admit I was ugly as fuck as a young adult, my current look is actually reasonably handsome.
Older black women (who you can always trust because they have no filter whatsoever) always talk about how handsome I am, and even though I have a fiance, I still get approached by young women infinitely more than when I was in my 20s.
All is not lost, brother. You can still bloom.
>>80875546
Is she still a fatty though?
>>80881650
What if people who are more depressed/crazy/alienated are more likely to ignore social norms (such as not being a complete slut)? Also, such norms are stronger in the higher social classes.
As a result, women with many partners might be more depressed/unhappy because they're more likely to be from low social classes and/or be people who were naturally predisposed to depression or craziness.
>>80887752
It's a very different culture. I'm sure you are shunned by your family if you even consider a divorce.
>>80891527
>HEIGHT, FRAME, FACE
You have it, or you don't anon. If you don't you will always be alone.
>>80893193
>FRAME
At the risk of sounding ignorant, what does this mean?
>>80893695
Body shape, bone structure. I.e. wide shoulders, narrow hips, proportionate limbs and torso. The body type that looks attractive with any amount of muscle.
>>80875546
So you've been with a girl for three years, but suggest that you don't live with her.
Are you "not before marriage" kind of guy ?
I'm asking out of curiosity, not to demean you.
>>80893908
I'm 184cm tall and weight between 60 to 65 kgs.
Got very little fat and barely any muscle to keep me standing still.
As I'm ok with how I look, I doubt that many people would found my body attractive.
I'm eating like a bottomless pit, any advice to get more shape without getting scoliosis ?
I believe a good and stable marriage has mostly to do with the society's and your personal social standings. In Estonia, "whoring" isn't as common as in western countries. Sure there are quite a lot of whores, but they typically end up in a bad relationship.
If you don't whore around and find yourself a wife who also doesn't, you'll be lucky. Whoring doesn't have to mean only fucking. It can also mean dating a lot of people. Getting into relationships really easily.
I, myself, have very strict standings when it comes to relationships. My wife is my first everything, starting from kiss and ending with love.
tl;dr: Divorce nowadays is the aftermath of sexual liberation
>>80889511
Sounds to me liking you're trying to cope.
>>80892330
Nah everyone is a whore these days.
Maybe social class correlates slightly as smarter people are more able to control their desires but overall the culture and society we live in encourages slut behavior.
>>80889511
>everyone realizes the street is always just as brown on the other side of the fence.
Lol'd in real life
>>80894796
Eating is the main thing for you. You say you eat like a botomless pit. But it also depends on what you eat. You need to eat heavy shit like steaks and stuff, that is hard to digest. Eat heavy shit constantly.
Working out isn't that important for you. Gain mass first, and then start working out, though you can do it before too.
dam, you people are thinking about marriage and I still can't even get a girlfriend
Unless you're a Trumpshit, you will be able to handle powerful women, and be happy.
If you vote for Trump, you will be miserable because the new government will teach men to be betas.
Trump = Rule of Betas = Regression of Humanity
>>80871124
Met my missus twelve years ago.
Knocked her up fairly early in the relationship, didn't run.
We lucked out. A random hookup turned into dating, and dating turned into what is so far 12 Years of happy marriage.
Even got her using shitskin as a descriptive noun.
>tl;dr: missus and I married 12 years, three beautiful blonde haired blue / green eyed children.
Do it cunts.
>>80894796
Focus on shoulders. Even narrow shoulders look better with some muscle. Chest is good too, so you don't look like an emaciated Auchwitz survivor. Other than that, keep your bodyfat reasonable. If your hips are wider, do core workouts and lat work to bulk up your upper frame and make it look wider. For that matter, do lats like crazy anyway because it will fill you out regardless.
>>80895390
Sounds to me like you have to go back.
>>80895886
HEIGHT, FACE and FRAME.
For real though, your self pity taints any relationship you may possibly have. You reek of it, and women smell it on you. If you haven't learned to love yourself then they will never give you a chance.
>>80895830
>>80896670
Thank you anons.
I already got good legs carrying me around, as I my BM double feet is decent.
I might head into /fit/ but we're getting off topic
>>80895975
this is only true because Trump is a Hillary shill and will ensure her victory
>>80895975
I wish roaches would stick to German politics, where they belong.
>>80871124
I aint gonna fucking marry anybody.
Im gonna get 2 or 3 girlfriends who adore me and we will be a Tribe, and they will love each other and love that we're all together.
And then im gonna cuck them out with black men and get them knocked up.
>>80875797
You fix it, you don't abandone it. Does nobody take the wedding VOWS seriously anymore?
>>80881290
The article didn't say to not marry though. It just points out people look for entirely the wrong shit in marriage.
It specifically says you should be extremely picky about whom you marry, not to give up entirely. Sound article in my opinion.
>>80871124
An important aspect of divorce within Western civilization is that fundamental fact that model of marriage is not adequate for modern society. Marriage was a social contract that offered sex and offspring in a socially acceptable manner for the man and the lifelong access to a man's resources and offspring of her own for the women. In the 21st century, your average women do not need to depend on the resource of a man as they can already get it on their own or through the act of divorce. She can get the children she wants from the man and not have to reciprocate her end of the contract. It has allowed her the ability to shop around for the bigger better deal, as is the nature of women. Men also no longer need marriage as they can get the sex that they desire without getting tied down with marriage. Both the sex no longer need marriage to obtain what they desire from one another without being together for life. The main culprit for the breakdown of marriage, in my opinion, is the industrialization of society to an extent that women no longer need men for resources, and creating a culture of promiscuity that allows a great number of men to get the sex they desire without getting married.
>>80892466
Mostly due to the fact the sons are trying to get the family inheritance and a sister divorcing means she's coming home and taking a share. Most families just flat out refuse to take you back and women end up homeless which that's actually worse than being beat by your shitskin husband.
It's true, but only because most people are shit thanks to the media.
