I'm about to get on a plane to Israel with my church group
Any advice or former experience
Pic related my breakfast at the airport
>>79819373
that sure doesnt look like an airplane
>>79819434
>breakfast at the airport
>>79819373
Crash it, preferably with no survivors for max meme points
>>79819373
Please write on a piece of paper (in pen) "the land of my lord" and leave the paper in the desert or Jerusalem (hopefully on the streets)
thank you
>>79819373
Yeah, but as a chosen person going to Germany was much better. Free food, free hotels, I even broke into someones apartment and they let me keep it. How? Just say the words "six million" and the germans will do whatever you say. I'm actually thinking about organizing a small settlement in Berlin.
>I'm about to get on a plane to Israel with my church group.
>>79819373
>israel
>church group
Prepare to be spat on.
>>79819681
To clarify it is a Christian group. A bunch of white rich suburban high school graduates. I'm only going because they can bring their families if they want
>>79820023
try to get some, thats why everyone goes.
>go to Israël
>loud mouthed, barbaric, nasal speaking Americans everywhere
fuggg
What airline, OP?
Direct flight?
>>79820607
Yeah, we all know American Jews are the worst. Don't go during their school breaks next time. That won't do a thing for the retirees though, but they can't stand the heat so April-August should be ok. Fucking hot though.
>>79820023
> 2016
> a Christian
come on!
>>79819373
Eat fresh falafel and a lot of shawarma.
>>79819434
>>79819532
Dont go full retard Denmark, you are not Canada.
>>79820742
>>79820627
I have the morals, not most of the beliefs. And I'm moving through jfk first
(((Israel)))
>>79820845
come on, morals and not beliefs? it is like being a vegetarian while loving to eat meat
I observe people around and only immoral people win
Make sure not to look too Jewy when you travel to the Arab parts of Jerusalem.
Half a safe flight.
>>79821218
Have*
>>79821218
Thanks man
y-you too
>>79819373
Don't leave the oven on
>>79820735
Speaking of the heat, it's going to be constantly 100° F for the entire time there. It's gonna suck
>>79820845
I was brought up a Christian and it fucked completely my life. You have to embrace immorality for mere survival here. It is literally hell on earth.
>>79819373
>to Israel
>with my church group
Hurry up and die already old man
>>79820845
If you're doing JFK straight to Ben Gurion you're probably either on British Airways or El Al.
If you're on El Al you have nothing to worry about. Their security is insane and you'll be fine.
I would never fly another airline into Israel.
If you are going via London and have a decent layover, go out and see some of the city.
Stay with the group. You may be tempted to wander off but for god's sake don't. I had Arabs threatening to "break-a yo jewish face" when they came on to our charter bus, probably looking to steal. And that was a long time ago.
>>79821177
Oh those fucking Arab kids drove me nuts. They will not go away and will grab at anything they think is of value. Do NOT wear anything you care about.
>>79819373
don't joke with El Al security
don't get jewed
Start your own gas company over there so you can make cash and gas jews
>>79819373
bring lots of sunscreen
>I am currently being served local food from the country I am visiting
Truly degenerated cultural marxist propaganda has no frontier.
>>79822554
All my ticket says is tel aviv. Which is el av I assume
Also nobody looks that Jewish, which is good
>>79822554
(continued)
Drink water constantly. Whenever you feel tired, it's not jet lag, it's dehydration.
They are crazy for going this time of year. Guaranteed someone is going to pass out. I guess it's cheap though and the operator makes the most shekels, but to take someone from the midwest in the middle of summer to anywhere in the Middle East is just cruel.
Keep your passport with you all of the times. Don't let them take it from you, saying it's for the hotel or some other bullshit. Keep it. The only time is if you're in the Red Sea doing a tour, and then you will be in Egyptian territory and will need to surrender your passport. But don't give it up willingly.
Make sure the consulate knows you're there. Don't trust your church tour organizer who probably knows less than you do about it. Go to www.state.gov and register yourself. Now.
If you had asked two weeks ago I would have said just don't go. It's a miserable time of year, the Arabs are killing anything that moves, and it is going to stink to high heaven. Better to stay home, and if you really want to go to Israel, do it during the winter.
Good luck.
>>79823095
Never mind, there is definitely a Jewish looking guy with us.
>>79823143
Thanks for the advice, I assume that the church wanted to do it now because they had other trips in June, and after graduation for the seniors. But geez
Awful planning
>>79823143
If you go to Masada (which you probably will) resist the urge to walk up the snake path. It will simply be too fucking hot. Stand in line for the cable car. Trust me.
If you don't have a hat get one. I don't care if it looks like shit, it will save you. Also get a long-sleeved shirt. They sell light ones there everywhere and will be well worth it. Sunscreen is basically going to fall off of you through sweat, and you'll forget to put it on and/or it will be too sticky/nasty.
Take some paper and a pencil, and when you visit the Roman ruins take some rubbings. They'll have blank pads at the hotel and you'll be able to get a pencil or a piece of charcoal/chalk. The ruins were (to me, a godless heathen) by far the coolest thing about Israel.
Also they charge for the bathroom. Make sure you have however many shekels they charge these days for the automatic door or attendant. You really don't want to have to pee in the street, although you will be able to tell that many people do particularly in the Arab quarter.
