Does /pol/ know about the "Sperm Switch"?
Would you get it, if the procedure was cheap-ish?
Probably. Bit I'm married. If I wasn't married, probably not. I'd still wear a rubber for the slots I'd fuck. That switch doesn't stop STDs. Ash funk, who am I kidding. I would think wear a rubber anywah
>pounding the whore
>thinking everything is fine
>you've done this hundreds of time
>close to climax
>suddenly switch is hit
>now you ARE the father
can we just not
>>79297100
kys fucking normie cuck bitch
Of course it's a German who wants to mass sterilize whites
>>79296364
>Hey let me put this possibly toxic metal implant in your balls that will almost certainly give you blue balls
no thanks
>needing a fucking switch for your ballsack
How about some self-control and common sense?
>>79297620
Yeah we should all take after sweden and let the bulls do the fucking.
>>79297620
Man Xander is such a faggot. He's ruining porn. We need more lads in porn like Danny D, and less fuckfaces like Xander.
>Being such a compulsive moron that you get a mechanical switch installed in your balls.
>>79296364
Where, exactly does it "redirect" the sperm to?
I'm just imagining a little tube sticking out of a dude's waist that squirts onto a nearby wall whenever he cums.
>>79297620
Do you have any idea how difficult it is for normal people to not have sex, and use protection during that sex
>>79296364
Only if I got a nigger or latina fetish somehow
white babies only
>>79296364
>aw yeah gurl it's time for some lovin
>damn baby you're so fucking hot
>condom? no need, here let me just turn my balls off
>grab nutsack and start massaging it vigorously to locate the internal switch
>huh looks like it's stuck, hold on a second babe
>bend over to closely examine nutsack
>oh there it is
>huh, looks like it's stuck
>plant thumb on switch and press down hard
>whack it to loosen it up a bit
>loud mechanical clunk
>LEDs on my scrotum turn green
>there we go, time to...
>girl where'd you go
>Once the Bimek SLV is closed, sperm will remain present in the ejaculatory fluids for about three months or approximately 30 ejaculations.
So this is not to be used in a way that it is always open, and the you close it for a night, but rather the opposite: it is always closed, and you open when you want to have kids.
The problem is when sperm doesn't leave the testes, but dies there, your fertility decreases - forever. People that get a vasectomy and then revert the operation have their fertility decreased depending on how much time has passed, as the body naturally decreases efficiency in the production of new sperm if it can't get out.
How do you know if it's on or off, though?
All the lightbulbs in my room went out months ago and I don't remember if the switch is on or off so I haven't tried to change them incase I get a shock.
>>79299274
Literal retard detected
>>79299274
The methods to turn it off and on are different, with the later including a safety.
>>79299237
I'd kill for some scrotum LEDs
>>79298094
Danny's a real beast
>>79299274
you won't get a shock by changing lightbulbs.
if you really want to be 100% sure switch off the fuse for your room.
>>79300041
>>79299642
>>79299527
I didn't mean to type that part I just can't see the keyboard so well because my room is dark.
>>79298758
Into the blood or just pools in the scrotum maybe.
Unused sperm is normally absorbed/broken down into the blood anyways.
>>79296364
I don't trust that shit fuck off.
>>79296364
Is this an Onion article or what?
>>79296364
Pretty neat idea, it's like a check valve that can be turned off that fits onto the deferend duct.
>>79299274
If you're that afraid, turn off the power in your room with the circuit breaker.
>>79296364
>slut distracts you with blowjob
>fondles your balls
>flicks your switch
>you don't notice cause she deepthroating
>you're a father now
No.
>>79300413
>pregnant from a blowjob
I hope this is a meme
>>79297620
>How about some self-control and common sense?
Bitches put holes in condoms
I guess I can finally turn myself on whenever I want
>>79300499
virgin detected
>>79300001
I guess kek does not approve
In any case it would be better if you could control it wirelessly, like from a phone or something.
>tfw government can hack into your balls to sterilize you
>>79297560
>>>79296364 (OP)
>>Hey let me put this possibly toxic metal implant in your balls that will almost certainly give you blue balls
>titanium is toxic
Ok
>>79300522
fuck off carlos
>>79300745
>mfw after you cum your phone automatically posts an update to twitter
>>79296364
Imagine having it switched off for a year, then some dude feeds you one right in the nuts and you start cumming hard for 10 minutes straight
>>79297620
You realize the world is crawling with shitskins right
>>79299258
good point. Best way seems to be getting some of your sperm frozen and then getting a vasectomy.
>>79301038
That's not how it works, hamburger
>>79296364
It's unnecessary for me
Who /virgin/ here?
Gofundme to chip the whole africa
>>79300888
>double trips
I apologize for my ignorance kek
>>79296364
>he simply locates the implant in his scrotum and flicks the switch back
interesting, interesting, great work germany! such good technological marvel!
>>79299237
>>79301018
>Anon lasted 1 minute and 16 seconds this time! See how you stack up.
>>79299237
nice
I would pay for lower income neighbourhoods to provide free shit like this.
Why on Earth would someone want a device in their scrotum that can stop them cumming? mI'm a fucking tranny and I wouldn't want to use that. Its literally cuck chip.
>>79302515
>oops how did they all get stuck in the off position
>>79299237
My sides left this planet
>>79296364
Yfw a slut flips it during sex without you noticing and now you have to pay child services for the rest of your life.
>>79298094
We need the Colonel.
As you were.
>>79299237
On the next episode of pimp my scrotum; how much chrome can one man use?
No, I've had 5 children with my wonderful wife so far.
If it wasn't as expensive as it is and it produced the desired results, I'd just get a vaginoplasty.
>>79303402
>>79302700
>get clapper installed on yourballs
>go to trump rally
>everyone starts clapping
>your balls spasm out
>you are in intense orgadm the entire time jizzing your pants but people think you just wet yourself
>travel the country going to trump rally to get sexual pleasure
>thisislife.jpg
>>79304887
Degenerate the post
>>79305086
>id starts off with /b/
>>79300745
>hi It's Sam pepper and today I'm gonna turn on my friend's balls while he's raw dogging his girlfriend.
>ACTUAL UNWANTED PREGNANCY PRANK (IN THE HOOD) (GONE SEXUAL)
>>79299258
As it says, the sperm is redirected. It leaves the testes, so fertility should be preserved.
>>79305086
You skipped mine.
>>79304728
I'm literally not even meming right now.
>>79296364
Daily reminder. Women are obsolete.
If it was cheapish and had been out there a while, why not? Cyborg race here I come.
Still, probably not for people with a ballbusting fetish. Good thing I am not one of them.
Problem is though, it might be possible to make a mistake and switch it the wrong way or bump it. If it was reliable though, why not? Total upgrade.
>>79305369
Then depends on which kind of >women you're talking about.
>>79305410
Actually it's obvious which way is on and which way is off. There's a safety that you have to disengage to turn it off. it isn't a simple lightswitch lmao
>>79300413
It's more difficult than it would be for her to claim to be on the pill she forgot to take.
Also she doesn't need to know about your switch. You can just say you trust her to be on the pill - which you have to say now to get any sex.
>>79305532
Who is she?
>>79299237
>>79296364
Comes with an rfid chip to track your every move and take vital signs every hour. Which is uploaded to our nifty cloud server.
>>79305696
>she
>>79305696
That's not a
A girl
It's a realistic silicone sexdoll from Japan
There's a guy here in America I think who is actually married to one
>mutilating your own nuts willingly
Sure schlomo
>>79305696
>she
>>79296364
Yes, goy, install this piece of hardware that definitely isn't being tracked by the [X][Y][Z]
>>79299274
You mean you've been using candles during all those months?
>>79305634
Actually I have already had a kid, and haven't had sex for closing in on a decade. Maybe I'd date if I had one of these.
Also my brother ( who has never married and never procreated is always telling me how he wants a vasectomy but they won't give him one. Maybe he could date a bit with one of these )
>>79296364
>men literally turning into living vibrators
Ahahaha I quit, Islam please save us I don't give a shit anymore.
>>79300499
check boris becker story nigger
>>79299996
Green LEDs
>>79305891
>That's not a
>A girl
>It's a realistic silicone sexdoll from Japan
You did a really good job at baiting me for links.
https://twitter.com/kalindrachan/status/564208244575711233
http://kalindrachanx.tumblr.com/
Next time read the filename.
>>79306006
she looks like shes constantly holding in a fart
You people are fucking retarded.
>>79305696
>>79306444
Kek has spoken.
>>79297620
ikr
>>79306444
KEK lord does not approve that thread , KEK lord demands serious conversations
>>79306751
Its true. I want serious /pol/ to return. or atleast /pol/x/
>>79296364
>putting a switch in your dick
What a time to be alive.
>>79296364
>there are 25 nu males willing to do this trial
>>79297866
Underrated.
>>79297448
I dunno, I might as well be sterile, since I don't trust sluts not to get pregnant. I would be more likely to procreate having one of these.
>>79296364
>installing switches in your genitals
My genitals are fine the way they are. No need to cut off my dick skin or install anything.
>>79298758
>Where, exactly does it "redirect" the sperm to?
leaks out your asshole, so men can finally understand what women go through after being rawdogged. Truly a progressive step forward.
>>79307278
In today's world you don't have time to build trust before it's past time when you should have already made your move.
With this you could have sex, and build trust and then deliberately choose to procreate with someone you know well enough to know it's the right thing to do.
>>79296364
>>79296364
>>79296364
so what happens if im in austrailia and some aussie decides hes gonna kick me straight in the switch for bantz? is dick ruined forever?
>>79296364
>Sperm switch 2.0 released in two years.
>Now with remote control, and phone app that track ejaculations
>EU gives legal control to wives, for feminism.
>European men no longer in control of fertility
>You'll never know if it's your child
>You can never even jerk off without her getting text alert
>Sperm Switch 3.0 next year with electroshock feature and free universal remote app to prevent rapes. Press the button and all men within 3 meters collapse and shriek in pain.
>Muslims not required as it infringes on their peaceful religion.
>>79307525
Time would be on your side. Women would probably hate not being able to get pregnant whenever they want.
But maybe many of the men they want have already left the dating pool
>>79299237
Kek
>>79299274
You're a britfag. The top should be depressed if there's only one switch for the light.
If not then you had a shitty electrician.
>>79299237
>scrotum LEDs
sides vitriolaged
>>79306305
Considering the brown guy's face she just let it out.
>>79296364
This is sterilization. Don't fall for it.
>>79296364
Stupid useless shit, use a fucking condom.
>>79296364
Remind me how this changes our disastrous divorce laws? Oh, that's right, it accomplishes absolutely nothing.
>>79301131
they wouldn't use this anyway. if they could afford it they'd buy a goat instead.
>>79300413
This was what came to my mind too. Really malicious stuff. If it wasn't that noticeable of a feeling when the switch gets flicked, and the dude is used to being able to bust a nut wherever he pleases without the consequences of pregnancy, then this shit would be pulled to ruin peoples lives.
>>79315246
just add a small speaker to it
>Penis Activated
>>79296364
Does titanium activate metal detectors?
>>79296364
All rapefugees must be Mandatory sterilised until they pass the secularism test, the local language test and gender studies phD
>>79296364
>Put the switch off for ten times,
>Sperm builds up behind the switch
>Put switch on
>One man bukakke down wife's throat
>Wife choked to death
>spend rest of life in prison
>>79296364
Seems like it could go horribly wrong.
Also, why would you pay somebody gorillians of dollars to mutilate your genitals? Are you a tranny?
>>79296364
This turns me on
>get switch implant
>mfw paranoid every time a woman plays with my balls
I'll take a reversible operation.
>>79296364
This looks like it could easily end in a man ruining his life, or worse, a crazy woman flipping the switch for him for the sake of making him her's forever.
>>79299258
>30 ejaculations
>3 months
>putting a jewish device in your testicles
no thanks man
>>79296364
>Fitted under local anesthetic
I don't want no needle in the proximity of my dongle, thank you very much.
>>79298094
Danny is fucking annoying and looks like an ex-drug addict
>>79299237
0/10 scrotum LEDs are pussy magnets
>Oh no i might accidentally fulfill my biological imperative while fucking!! Better have expensive dick surgery to correct this!
Top Cuck
>>79317726
thats about a normal week for me
i am doing the yesfap
>>79299237
>Creampies will be hotter when the LED is set to "red" meaning "BABY MAKING creampies"
>>79296364
>having a sharp metal switch implemented next to your testicles
NO
>>79302288
H-here.
>>79296364
Christ, it's as big as a fingernail, it will hurt dangling around while fucking
>>79300519
so buy them yourself and keep them with you
>burden
Opportunity, for all married men.
>oh youre pregnant?
>the doctor checked, its still working!
instead of the husband getting kicked out, half his wealth taken, and having to pay support to a strange child, shes kicked out and owes him 50k for betrayal and emotional damages.
>designed to divert flow of sperm away from the penis
w-where does it g-go?
>>79325904
Back into your balls.
>>79296364
I dunno.
I prefer Vasagel, ones that have a mechanical or electrical components to fail.
>>79296364
>Letting the government implant a genocide-switch in your scrotum
>>79296364
>yfw it requires internet connection and being logged on facebook
>>79296364
>Surgery
>Implanting a fucking switch in my balls
No. I'd take a male contraceptive pill, but never anything like this.
>>79297620
i bet you use pull out
>>79325904
really made me think too
I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU GUYS DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO HAVE KIDS. WHO WOULD WANT TO DO 3DPD WHEN WE HAVE 2D?
> implying I have sex
>>79296364
Well looks like it is a real turn off
>>79334324
THIS BROTHER
>>79334810
>>79306196
It's still not a girl dude
>>79296364
>all these obsolete faggots in this thread unwilling to become transhuman
>>79328168
>yfw this is the future of fetish porn
>yfw 1500 credits and i'll turn the sperm on
