The trial starts next week.
What are you on trial for?
>>79292122
Public Checking.
>>79292122
Waiting for the DA to drop a case and get me and my dads hand guns back.
The Mormons did this.
>>79292122
Voting Brexit.
>>79292122
Shoplifting, driving without a license, improper lane usage
Fart rape. I thought it would be OK in the men's room, but boy was I ever wrong about that.
>>79292122
stuck my dick in crazy and let her spend the night
>>79292122
I saw a non-binary differently-abled abo play on a pair of sticks and remarked that his music was inspiring. I was publicly castrated
>>79292122
I got a big, y'know, penis between my legs.
Farted in the Shintoism section of the downtown library. Figured it was a safe place to fart. Some lady claimed I fart-raped her
>>79292529
>men's room
I asked a girl that looked sad what was wrong with her.
I'm being charged with verbal rape and second degree triggering.
>get aboard subway
>barely anybody on
>sit down and play on my phone a bit
>woman with bright blue hair comes up to me with a ruler
>sticks it right between my legs
>yells "LEGS MORE THAN 4" APART? GET YOUR HATESEAT OUT OF THIS SUBWAY GET YOUR HATESEAT OUT OF THIS SUBWAY"
>get off and get greeted by manspread police
50 days in jail
>>79292122
>Refused to fuck a fat bitch.
>Ignored a feminist who was yelling about male privileged.
>Committed eye rape by looking at attractive women at the beach.
I'm pretty sure they will give me the chair. Before they zap me I'm going to whip it out and spank it.
>>79294138
I want to make sure to climax as the executioner flips the switch so the last thing I do is spooge in her eye.
having an erection
Wearing my hair short and in its natural color, as well as having facial hair.
>>79292122
i stopped giving a shit and all my trials went nolle prosequi
im being charged with consenting to my mother breastfeeding me over 25 years ago
I disaggreed with a feminist
>>79292122
I had an opinion.
>meant to hug daughter
>R-A-I-L-S-W-I-T-C-H
>hugged my Ex-wife
>Green becomes Purple
>I hang my head
>Rape to a degree of any power relative to the money in my bank account
>Sentence is no more boo-boo kissies for the rest of the day
>Shame
>>79292122
Funny story about that actually.
>feminist bitch that everyone hated at my job >she always bitched about people holding the door for her
>cussed them out and bitched to HR when it happened, claiming sexism or whatever
>HR people just tell people to stop holding door for her, they hate her too but just dont want to deal with her bitching anymore
>one day young new guy gets hired who's very polite and friendly
>one of those people who holds doors for everyone
>someone forgot to tell them about her
>he holds the door for her
>she flies off the handle
>screams and pushes him
>he stumbles off curb
>falls and smacks head off the asphalt, has to go to the hospital and get stitches, has concussion
And she finally got fired, the entire place celebrated when she was gone.
>>79292122
I let a young woman get the door for me at a cafe. I said to her "Chivalry is dead". She laughed.
>>79297205
I do this all the time. I let the women go ahead and pull tue door as I smirk and walk in without saying thanks.
Checked out the black girls ass at the office and now I'm on trial for attempted rape because the white girls in HR saw me.
On a serious note, I did get a stern talking to.
>>79292122
>Thinks that a women can't open a door.
>Thinks that jail is the worst that can come from this.
You sir are an optimist. She will completely destroy on social media as well.
>>79298214
>did get a stern talking to
EYE RAPER!
>>79292122
I was man spreading while riding my fixed gear bike and the woman trying to pass me in the bike lane got clipped by a semi
her death was 100% my crotches fault
>>79292122
I asked my manager if she needed help with anything.
Got 20 years, child support for the additional personality she spawned during the incident, trigger alimony, and I have to wear a hat indicating that I'm a violent Islamaphobic capitalist to my appeal, in case the committee forgets.
>>79292957
Who's the Jewess? Never seen this gif before, cracked me up...
Calling some one a faggot in front of a gay feminist.
>>79292122
>minding my own business
>get jumped by dindus
>wallet, phone, shades, all stolen
>called them assholes as they ran away
>arrested for hate speech
I'm accused of being a 25 year old kissless virgin. Normies are baffled.
I just want the loneliness to stop.
>>79292122
should have told her you identify as female and she should not oppress your life choices, maybe even cry some crocodile tears to really sell it.
throw their bullshit right back at 'em.
>Went to local store
>Got razors
>Went to check out
>3/4 naked girl wearing nothing but a Hijab & bra/panties
>Ask her how her day is going
>She responds "Why, because I'm a women? Do you need to protect me"?
>N-no
>"Because I'm a LGBTQ++LMNOP trans-gender feminist muslim"?
>N-no I was just making conver--
>"Because you wanted to GLOAT about how nice it is being a CIS WHITE MALE. Your razors don't even have the GENDER TAX"
>I'm s-sorry
>Xir calls the police
>It's 2020 in the new city-state of Londistan
>She tells them I'm guilty of the following: 'White cis-male', 'Islamophobe', 'Transphobe', 'Mansplainning', 'Verbal Rape', 'Eye Rape', 'Forgetting to check my privilege'
>They see I have razors, think I'm going to attack someone
>Get beaten with big black dildos they now use instead of batons to be more progressive
>Get arrested
>Have to stay in jail until court
>Wife and her son die due to lack of place to live or income
>Court date is coming up
>Sadiq Khan personally comes out to give me my sentence
>Ohfuck.jpg
>He asks "How do you plead?"
>N-not guilt-
>GUILTY! GUILTY!
>Mandated castration, female hormone therapy privilege courses, & Islamic classes
>Islam allowed transgender marriages
>Now I am Sadiq Khan's 5th wife
>He throws me off a roof for being a faggot
God bless the queen.
i didnt prep the bull
>>79300132
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIpkdusnIkE
>>79301297
27 here. Don't worry friend, you're over the hump now.
>>79292122
My DUI, failure to appear after three years.
>>79295719
Holy shit, I never knew a grill could have so much spaghetti to spill
>In Target
>Can't find Kitchenware section
>Ask female employee if she knows where the Kitchenware is.
>She screams, yells I'm oppressing her.
>Security shows up, slams me to ground.
>Get arrested when the cops show up, get charged with talking to a women with a permit.
>Not allowed to make my phone call due to my white male privilege.
>Feminist judge sends me straight to prison.
>Feminist lawyer too busy getting her nails done to defend me.
>Get charged with one count of talking to a woman without a permit, one count of oppressing a female, one count of looking "rapey" and one count of being a while male while 500 ft from a woman without announcing my presence.
>Go to prison
>Should have voted for Trump
>>79303115
I was having a bad morning. Im not anymore. Thanks anon.
>>79292529
>Fart rape
I looked up for this, thank you for that
>By farting louder the man is using passive aggressive violence to position himself as dominant, this intimidates the woman to subconsciously not release as much flatulence and thus the woman fearing for her safety doesn’t fart as loud as a sign of submissiveness, this in turn contributes to rape culture and women being oppressed
I haven't laughed this hard in a month
>>79305661
glad I could help
I accidentally mis-identified a Male-to-Female-back-to-Male demi-queer genderfluid individual's pronouns.
Apparently there's a difference between 'xer' and 'xyr'.
I lost the litigation and am now typing this from an internet cafe with my mom because I had to sell both our houses to pay for the emotional damages
I haven't showered in 5 months.
>>79292122
>I called a guy a cunt, and a feminist overheard it
>>79306625
>male-to-female-back-to-male
my sides
>>79303115
Keked.
>>79292122
calling op a faggot
I was on trail last December for being high on cannabis in public
I was completely sane and behaving normal, they just didn't like the fact that I smelled like weed so I had to pass a urine test
Got sentenced to 5 days in jail, shit sucks down there
>>79292447
Who is that talking to Nige in that pic?
Have some titties.
>>79292905
I thought we made shintoism illegal after nuking the japs
