What was your worst experience with airport security /pol/?
>>77389767
The only time I ever had any kind of interaction with TSA beyond them just calling me up and waving me through was when they searched my bag because I had a big ass metal crucifix in it.
>tfw my keychain has a small multi tool on it and when i put my keys on the carrousel to get scanned they didn't say anything
I had a small knife on me the entire time I flew from Alberta to Ontario.
What a bunch of tools.
>>77390176
>>77389767
That one time my mates pulled a prank on my by putting a metal bar in my bag, sandwiched between layers of gay porn magazines.
>>77389767
I once had to put my laptop in a plastic bin.
>>77389767
Once they left my bag in Miami and was mailed to me.
>>77389767
I got thrown to the ground and my anus fingered because I had one of those pressurized bottles of sunscreen in my backpack.
>>77390430
>Mexican airports
>be white
>never had a bad time
>>77389767
There is no worst. There is only pre-Bush and post-Bush.
Which needs to be changed. That stupid frat whore has been out of office for 7 years now.
Going through security with my small baby is just about the worst shit imaginable
They found the drugs I tried to smuggle into the country.
>>77389767
>be American at japanese customs
>old as fuck granny is in charge
I...i have to pat you down...i-is that alright?
Sure.
>she pats my hips and butt, turns beet red and stares at the floor
>s-sorry. All done now
If she had been younger it would have been just like my animes
>>77390293
You're getting the wrong impression. It just goes to show how poorly trained and retarded our security is. If they don't know what a multi tool with a folding knife looks like, how can they secure the airport?
>>77389767
I've been through multiple airports several times since 9/11. No problems, but it's more tedious/slow than pre-9/11. I miss the good old days when your friend or family could walk with you all the way to boarding.
>>77389767
>Visit Thailand for holiday
>Come back home
>Airline personnel inspect my luggage
>Theres a bullet in it
>Tell them I didnt visit Thailand for guns
>They take me to some room in the airport
>Tell me I have to give them half my pocket money or I'm going get stuck in the airport for a long time
Good thing I spent most of my cash in Thailand.
I was laughed at by airport security in Quito, Ecuador for taking off my shoes. Didn't even register that they might not give a fuck about how the US does things.
>>77391311
>Give us your money pinoy
Is brown people life just corrupt like that?
>>77389767
they swabbed my fingers for plastic explosives. singled me out while I was reading my paper, upset the shit out of me
>>77389767
i showed my passport and that jerk said "turkish passport" with an disgusted impression on his face. i thought he was going to spit or puke to my face :'(
what did he mean by that?
>>77390919
On the good side of things, it did eliminate panhandling, religious solicitation, and freed up seating when they restricted airside to ticketed passengers only. Still have to watch out for bag thieves.
>>77389767
>be US Army vet
>Working in NYC as a construction worker
>they did small blasts on a site before I started working on it
>get to LaGaurdia
>they pull me aside
>test my timberland work boots
>have slight explosive residue on it
>cut open the entire shoe
>rip it apart
>all while NYPD is staring me down
>don't find anything
>miss my flight
>stuck in lagaurdia with no shoes for 6 hours till next one
>board plane in socks
>>77391475
Its a good rule of thumb here to assume every stranger you meet wants to rob you given the opportunity.
>>77391503
he was having a completely natural reaction to being around a turk.
>>77391311
>Travel to PH
>only bring hardsided luggage with no exterior pockets
>TSA locks on the zippers
>never have any issues with airport staff
Guess it's just too hard to mess with someone who doesn't use/carry easily compromised luggage.
I'm more worried about the shitton of people standing outside the checkin for no fucking reason whatsoever. Why is this allowed?
>TSA dickheads pull my 85 year old grandma out of her wheelchair
>two of them hold her up by her arms while one uses the wand to search her for 10 minutes
>I'm twelve and this really rustles my jimmies
>dad looks at me
>"Good thing we hid the explosives on your grandpa."
>>77391793
My brother had something similar. He is an engineer in the Canadian Military, tried to get on a plane with C4 residue on his military pack. Luckily he was wearing his uniform thing and it was a plane full of Army personnel. He didn't get into to much trouble.
>>77389767
>be me, white British male
>go to jew York
>get off plane at jfk
>queue like a civilised person
>put all my shit in the tray
>walk through metal detector
>good day sir
>I nod and smile
>get my shit
>show passport at the booth
>why are you here anon?
>holiday , I want to experience Newyork and see the sights yadayadayada
>how long?
>A week
> thank you sir enjoy your stay
> get bag (perfectly fine)
>go to hotel
>8/10 would go again
>>77393114
I'm surprised British isn't a red flag for the TSA by now.
>Be white
>Empty pockets and place them on the x-ray
>They don't even take my knife
>>77393243
This was in 2013 desu. I am very white tho
Doing my PhD in chemistry so work in the lab almost daily. Leave directly from the lab to catch a flight and get pulled out to be tested for chemical residue. End up having a positive for nitrates as I had been doing work with them. Explain what I do and who to contact about to prove it. End up missing my flight.
>>77391311
how did you get your brown loli wife past them?
>>77393340
It's a good life isn't it
>>77389767
put my shit on a conveyor belt, stepped into a scanner, got my shit back. they never touched me. lady was nice about it too.
How do I get a female TSA agent to cavity search me? It's my fetish.
>>77389767
>gf puts phone charger in my carry-on without telling me
>sets off the fucking thingie
>security trying to go through bag
>has trouble opening it
>instinctively reach to help
>security reaches to draw sidearm "don't touch the bag, sir"
>"sorry sorry sorry"
>all good after that
>>77393114
Also you guys have 10x the airport security.
see anything gud in my hometown anon?
I'm white and trustworthy so I once got an intimidating glance from security. Shook me
>>77389767
Work at an airport and everyday I go in TSA is shit, for some reason I always get the 'random' search and it's nothing but a pain in the ass.
>>77393869
I don't know actually, I just walk through UK security as well.
I really really enjoyed Trump tower, very spiritual, I also love your street food. Diabetus maximus but tasty af
As someone who has worked in airport security, I'm almost certain that most horror stories are manufactured by people, who go apeshit over the simplest of things.
>French woman has a handful of lighters in her bag.
>Have to search the bag and take them out.
>She throws a tantrum and starts violently emptying her bag on the counter, throwing stuff around.
>Gets louder and louder, shouts how her bag doesn't have any lighters there.
>After a while, four lighters drop on the counter.
>Packs her bag in total silence and angrily walks away after she has collected all of her stuff.
I'm sure she felt like she was basically raped by the security.
This kind of stuff happened very often, especially with the French.
They always threw a hissyfit if there was something wrong with their bags.
Out of all people, Americans were always the easiest to deal with.
Very laid back attitudes and seemed to be among the few nationalities that didn't go through a nervous breakdown in the security check.
>>77394121
>random
I'm guessing your not white
>>77389767
Coming back from deployments and not having to go through security in Iraq or Kuwait but having to go through security in uniform in Maine
Posting kinda late but here we go
>New dad
>traveling with wife and 9 month old daughter to visit my senpai
>My wife has breastmilk that she needs to bring obv for the baby
>has to be stored in more than 3oz increments or else we would literally be traveling with like 20 bottles.
>TSA shits itself over our milk bombs
>try to talk to the lady supervisor to see if she would understand
>bigmistake.png
>turns out she is a child hating cunt who has nothing to live for in life except her """""""""""national security""""""""""""""
> While they are hassling my wife over the milk I have to walk through the x-ray with my child in arms.
>they swipe my hands for GSR.
> I conceal carry and was at the range the day before
> test comes back positive
> TSA literally shits itself
> cops and suits out of nowhere
> wife, child, and I whisked away into a back room before I can even begin to protest
> They frisk my wife and I..literally everything
> they say they need to check my daughters diaper
>fuck that
>say that if they tough my daughter I will fucking kill them
>get charged with threatening a federal officer
>miss our flight
>no vacation
>battle in court for months
> drop out of college because we cant afford daycare over court fees
> have to sell everything I have worked for in my life
>charged dropped
>now I am in the process of suing them
> Im at a low point in my life
> struggling marriage, in counseling
> all because of wanna be cops that make you take your shoes off
>>77394333
I've never met a French person but I'm pretty sure they deserve to become a caliphate.
Refused to go through the scanner or receive a pat down and they threatened to call the cops
I told them I'd love to talk to a real cop
Was asked to leave and I spent Christmas alone that year.
>>77390898
She probably gets off hard to it
I told them i was a member of the mile high club so they detained me
>>77389767
I was once pulled aside for a full-body patdown at Reagan National in DC for an early-morning flight. Two TSA guys took me into a room made from snowed-glass windows and had me stand still while they felt me up for whatever. Contrary to horror stories you hear about the TSA going Gestapo, they were very clear about what they were doing and gave me verbal warning before they patted down sensitive areas. After they finished I went through the scanner and that was that. There wasn't anything really bad about it, just an inconvenience and only time it's happened.
I'm convinced they didn't see me as a potential security risk (I'm white) and simply had a quota for searches they had to meet, so just chose someone going through security at a time things weren't very busy.
>>77394333
>mfw grabbed backpack I used for target shooting last week.
>TSA man's eyes widen as he scans backpack.
>Pulls out 3 .308 rounds and a couple .22lr
>Say "Its Ok, I'm from Oregon."
>TSA man chucks ammo into trash and I board the plane.
I had a Mul-T-Lock pick in my carry-on bag that I had just purchased at a security convention in Vegas (not DEFCON). Took me 30 minutes to explain to them it was not a weapon. 3 separate supervisors were involved. A YouTube video showing the tool being used saved me. Pic related.
>>77391311
Fucking scammers.
>>77394523
Well that was a depressing escalator post :( I feel for you anon
>>77394192
haha Yes! Trump tower is breddy based, he's done a lot of good for the city.
Did you get dollar pizza anon? (if you didn't you'll need to go back)
>>77394899
at the end of the day, I still have my family, our health and safety so I can not complain too much. Once this is over I am moving to the middle of nowhere and living peacefully with my family
>>77389767
while I was waiting for a connecting flight in O'Hare I had to go outside for several smokes only to waste an hour and a half to pass through security back inside the terminal
fuck Chicago and its no smoking policy
>>77394121
>random search
>pain in the ass
I see wat u did ther, m8
>>77389767
this one time in brussels
>>77390665
Nice try, Juan
Waiting THREE FUCKING HOURS IN LINE AT CHICAGO OHARE. Never fucking again.
>>77389767
I've never been on an airport but i have some experience with Courtroom (tribunal, whatever) security.
>be me
>have to cancel some legal action against another court verdict
>step into the Appeal court, right in the middle of Bucharest
>metal detector and luggage scanner at the entrance
>Gendarmes everywhere
>Put my bag in the scanner
>empty my pockets and attempt to pass through metal detector
>BEEEEEP
>Bored Gendarme comes to me and feels my pockets
>Second attempt
>BEEEEP
>Oh silly me its the belt buckle
>HAHA it happens all the time ok buddy you're clear
>.
>.
>.
>later that day
>arrive home
>sit down because tired
>Feel something hard pressed against my butt
>Its my pocket knife
>Mfw i got through a metal scanner with a weapon in my rear pocket
>Mfw i could have been arrested
>>77395157
>Did you get dollar pizza anon? (if you didn't you'll need to go back)
Now I didn't, I have heard about these and it's something I regret. I did buy a 15 dollar pizza in a restaurant plus a 5 dollar tip! It was Italian meatball tho so very tasty.
I basically lived on bagels and hot dogs.
>>77395231
That sounds like the true American dream anon, hope it works out lad
>>77394523
sorry senpai, but it looks like that shit is here to stay for awhile. boomers chose to trade our freedom for "security" before we were old enough to do anything about it
>Partied all night before flight
>Vodka and pizza
>Worst combination ever
>Blow serious chunks in the hotel
>Almost missed ride to the airport
>Get to the airport
>Get through security fine
>Oh god, gotta puke again
>Inch my way to the bathroom
>Nope
>Blow more chunks in a garbage can
>Run to the bathroom
>Projectile vomit in the toilet
>Dry heave for about 5 minutes
>Oh shit my flight
>Walk back feeling better
>Get stopped by airport security
>"Sir, are you going to be okay?"
>"Yeah, I partied a little too hard last night, I'm feeling better now"
>"Are you sure? We can move your flight until you're feeling better"
>"No I have to get on this one, my ride at Sea-Tac is expecting me"
>"Alright then sir" hands me a bag to vomit in "Hope you don't throw up on the plane and have a good flight"
>"Thank you very much"
>Fucking cunts...
>>77389767
No worst experience. Just bad experiences overall.
I always fuck up something and they are always rude about it. It's always a minority though so I could give a fuck. Being a TSA worker is about the closest they will get to a "real job"
>>77395702
What a bunch of bastards
>>77389767
They keep touching my junk, like every time. And then they get all offended when I try to pay!
My mum decided it was a good idea to leave perfume in her bag once. Had to wait 10 minutes while they fished it out and inspected it.
Even in the USA I've never personally had a problem with airport security.
>be muslim
>don't look shady as fuck
>have an american passport
>leave with no trouble
>everything went better than expected
>>77396094
political correctness grants you an easier travel experience
Ran away from home for a night as a teenager, parents reported it to the police, but I came back, we let them know I was fine, etc. 2 years later we do a family cruise in Alaska and fly in through Vancouver. Canadian authorities held us up and questioned my dad because in their system I was still missing and they thought he was an abductor.
Good going, fucking leaves
>>77389767
That time I flew into Miami with a bag of weed in my rectum and there was an agent and a lab retriever at the bottom of the escalator.
>>77396230
there's loads of narcotics in FL, that's like taking sand to the beach
>>77389767
>be me, Iranian
>Go to dubai / armenia ect...
>On the way there, me and my brother are speaking in farsi and english laughing about random shit
>People around us smile because we dont have 11ft beards and we sound american
>Only get full body scanned once in my life, every other time white people are subjected to it even though we joke about it going to be us instead.
>Airport staff / security are super nice and we always make them laugh and they are relaxed around us
>THEN I GO TO REDDIT AND BERATE THEM AND SAY THAT I WAS RAPED LITERALLY AND EMOTIONALLY WHEN A BLACK CHILD LOOKED MY WAY AND SCREAMED ALLAH AKBAR AND SAID I HAD A BOMB.
>FUCKING AIRPORT SECURITY! I WAS FUCKING RAPED BY A FUCKING WHITE MALE.
Really though, never had a bad experience. Even one time I left one of my small survival packs in my wallet that had a knife in it to get into a police station. they told me about it and I was confused but when I saw it I explained to them what it was and they just said put it in the car and come back. No heated debate about "Its a feminine peni-.. I mean knife". Just said "Yes sir" and I took it back.
>>77389767
Coming back from Thailand after spending 3 months backpacking was the absolute worst experience.
>return to Canada
>in Vancouver international airport, still had to connect to Winnipeg flight
>get stopped by sandnigger security after they scan my bags
>"do you mind if i check whats in your luggage?"
>i didn't oppose but mentioned I had a flight to catch in 20 minutes
>they rip my bags apart and even empty my sunblock and toothpaste
>cut holes in the lining of my bags
>THEN
>after they didn't find anything illegal in my luggage they take me to an interview room
>at this point i was pissed because i was going to miss my flight
>in room getting interviewed by 2 fucking sandnigger isis sympathizers
>get asked what I did, where I stayed, who i saw etc etc
>then the real questions started to come
>"did you at any point hire a prostitute while there?"
>"at any point did you engage in sexual activity with a minor?"
>"did you consume any illegal substances?"
>"did you traffic any illegal substances?"
>"did you work illegally?"
>"did you trade or sell any of your personal identification"
I pretty much snapped and said I wasn't answering anymore questions until I could speak with my lawyer, which was my uncle.
I got home fine and the airport had to pay for my flight but that experience made me fucking furious. Im a fucking Canadian citizen and im being harassed but some fucking mud singers when im just trying to go home.
Another story from the airport, this was with Jews.
First time I've ever seen proper Israel jews in my life.
>They're trying to bring in a 1 litre bottle of juice.
>Sorry, this has to go. Maximum size for liquids is 100ml.
>Nyaa, no no! We want to take it with us.
>Sorry, it's a no go.
>Divide the 1l between all of us, then we can take it?
>No, besides there's only 3 of you and the container has to be 100ml.
>How about we drink a little out of it, so it's 300ml and then we take it?
>No, the container itself has to be 100ml.
After 5 minutes of arguing over the damn bottle of juice, which probably cost 2€ to the family, they said.
>OK, YOU TAKE IT!!
>What you think we are, Palestinians?
And they gave me a condescending sneer.
I hadn't even gotten redpilled at that point and didn't really know what the hell to make out of that comment, but they were like walking stereotypes.
>>77394764
That's the way it should be done.
People often forget shit like this in their bags, it's no cause to go crazy and call the cops.
>Find a hatchet in the back bag of some guy who's on a connecting flight from Asia.
>Throw the axe away, journey goes on.
As long as people don't make a fuss over the things that are going to get removed, it's all good.
>>77396168
Are you fucking retarded? Do you seriously believe this shit you stupid muricuck? Are you proposing that white people have a harder time with airport security than brown people when brown people are the reason why we can't bring in a bottle of water into a fucking plane anymore?
>>77394396
I am one of the only white people working here.
One time they found my pistol and I had to shoot my way out. Currently on the run still living in a mudhut in Antigua.
>>77389767
>What was your worst experience with airport security /pol/?
By far it was once when I was flying through Detroit. I was in a car accident and was left incontinent, and have to wear absorbent briefs (adult diapers). The women pulled them all out of their bag in my carry-on and placed them each on the bench in plain view to ask me about them, then proceeded to unfold each of them to wipe them down with the scanning pad, while making me explain what they were and that I needed to wear them after a car accident. That is in the middle of a busy line and was horribly embarrassing. I would have complained, but I did not want to make a bigger issue of something I try to keep very private
Had other issues with patdowns in the past, but they usually have been more discreet, with the worst once having to show them what I had on, normally though they just discretely ask what is is, then get embarrassed and quickly finish up and let me through.
>>77396918
Oh then it must be affirmative action
>>77396674
Also affirmative action
>>77396545
arab in denial
Literally just flew from Canada to Germany. They threw out my body wash. Left my leatherman tool alone. Now i stink :(
No problems at the airport, but
>go to Canada
>drive around for an hour
>remember Canada is terrible
>go home
>border control sees I was only there for an hour
>pull off to the side, spend 3 hours waiting, getting pat down and my car searched
>they find a couple stems and seeds in my center console
>get fined 500 for .14 grams
>the only time I've wished I'd spent more time in Canada
>>77397216
Only 5 whites working on my shift right now and we are the only ones assigned shit because everyone else is unable to handle basic tasks.
>>77389767
>go to pick someone up from the airport
>Security giving asshole limos and taxis priority
Fucking Jews. See if I get in your flying Jew.
>>77389767
The niggers.
>>77395291
It's where I hide my shitty memes.
>>77397527
>flying Jew
>>77389767
they searched my hair
MANUFACTURED FEAR
MANUFACTURED PARANOIA
MANUFACTURED TERRORISM
>>77389767
Had to step into some fuckin box to get a full body x-ray at CDG in Paris. They oh so conveniently place the computer screen where everyone in the que can see, and everyone more or less saw my johnson.
[spoiler]it's much bigger when erect i swear[/spoiler]
yeah, moost of those who smoke weed
>>77389767
>flight to Madrid
>connection on Miami
>as soon as I get into Miami airport the security staff gets me and a couple of other passengers and lead us to a room
>they kept asking me questions about what I do, where I'm going and about my family
>spend 1 hour telling the security woman all about my life
>almost lost flight to Madrid by 5 minutes
An older dude gave me a pat down and would have stuck his thumb up my ass if I didn't have pants on. He also grabbed my cock
>Long line
>Wearing boot brace because broken ankle
>Taken to back room to have it swabbed for explosives
>Finally let my obviously-not-a-terrorist white ass go
>At terminal waiting for plane
>Hear over speaker a description for an mp3 player that fits mine has been "found" (aka they forgot to put it back in my bag)
>Hobble a fucking mile as fast as I can to retrieve it, fill out forms etc
>Hobble back, make it back just in time
>Get on plane and notice touchscreen had a massive crack across it
Could have been worse I guess.
>>77396918
the first person I see upon touching down in burgerland is invariably a nigger/negress
>>77390176
>a bunch of tools
10/10
Protip: small blades up to 6cm are allowed unless the blades are fixed or lockable. A swiss knife is an example of such a blade.
>>77389767
Forgot my ID last week-end
Have been blocked 4 hours in Paris airport CDG
Chinese security trying to steal my Zippo. Took out the insert and have it to the guy. He looked sad and threw it in the trash.
>>77389767
>get back from nipland
>get taken aside for random search
>(Don't find the onahole.)
>guy is talking to me and is pretty chill, asking me about where I went, asking for price since he wants to go eventually as well, etc.
>(Please don't find the onahole.)
>Meticulously searching every nook and cranny of my two suitcases and finds porn but laughs it off saying "japan and their porn" jokes
>(NOT THE ONAHOLE POUCH, NOT THE ONAHOLE POUCH, NOT THE ONAHOLE POUCH!)
>Goes for the pouch I had put the onahole into
>It's wrapped in the all black plastic bag I was using to keep it clean and isolated from the lint
>Looks at the bag, and back at me seriously, maybe thinking it was drugs or something and calls for another officer
>reaches for the onahole with my dignity shattered
>squeezes it and looks confused for a second
>squeezed it again and looks back at me
>dead silence for at least ten seconds
>"Never mind on that backup, everything is good here."
>Try to make small talk again as he's putting everything back into the suitcases but never responded back at me
>Ask if everything is good but he just waves me through
I don't know what it was. He saw my loads of doujinshi, half of which was loli related, and was cool with it. But for some reason the onahole was what made myself, and him, just freeze in shame.
I always have to go under double check for drugs when i show my passport, i wonder why.
>in a line to go through metal detector
>i know it will beep because of metal buttons in my cargo pants
>see a cute security woman watching this gate
>i go through and the gate beeps
>"sweet now some cutie will give me a patdown"
>some older security man does it instead
>fuck the airports
>bought toothpaste few days before flight
>take it with me
>have to throw it away because liquids were not allowed on flights
Weird thing is that I was going back to my home so I had the toothpaste on my first flight but had to get rid of it when coming back.
>>77398744
Legit kek'd. Why not order the onahole to be shipped to your home instead?
>>77395314
Underrated
>>77398209
We got a lot of those, my apologies sir, if they touch you.
when i traveled through spain a few years ago, i happened to wear a barcelona football shirt underneath my hoodie when entering the security at the madrid airport. the females laughed a bit, but the male security guards seemed legit upset.
also, one time after landing at home from a flight from amsterdam, me and two friends of mine were asked to step out of the line before baggage claim with all the others for a "random check". obviously due to us looking a bit haggard after a music festival, and coming from amsterdam.
>>77389767
>Went to Straya
>Airport control is fucking rediculous
>Retarded questions
>"Do you have a criminal record?"
>This woman is just annoying me
>Say: "You dont seriously still need one of those to get in here do you?"
>A large nigger escorts me to a back room
>mfw
>>77399069
Because I was already there, and I'd rather not pay to mail it back home when I had a perfectly good suitcase to put it in.
>>77389767
>buy a bottle of water
>put it in my bag without opening it
>get in security line
>put bag through x-ray
>old black bitch shuts everything down
>"YO HOL UP. YOU CAN'T BE BRINGIN BOTTLES PAST SECURITY. WHAT YOU THINKIN?"
>"S-sorry."
>throws my unopened bottle of water in the trash
>pulls me aside for a pat down after I already cleared the body x-ray
>get through the checkpoint
>buy another water no problem
I have never flown. If I was meant to fly, I'd have wings.
>>77393644
Tell them there'ssomething up your ass
>>77389767
The one where they let me through without a hitch because i followed the directions to facilitate a smooth ingress.
> I'm sure they have recorded something on my brand of toothpaste to use against me though!!!!
>>77389767
> Was in America
> Los Angeles airport
> Each man 2 meter tall
> black peoples everywhere
> all very fat
> Exiting airport I'm asked if I visit by passport man
> (I am visiting)
> He smiles at me
> I know he weak now
> pretend to smile
> leave airport
some security guard in Germany decided to feel down my pants
>tfw Muslims raped you before it was cool
>>77389767
Frankly, it was the contact embarassment from going through with a friend who thinks he is making some great and important point by requiring the underpaid drones to pat him down, requiring a clean set of gloves, and generally being a dick, plus making me wait aroud half an hour while he acted out.
If I travel with him again, I am taking a sign that reads "I'm not with him."
There was this time they found a 10 inch knife i forgot in my backpack from the last time i moved out of my apartment. Funny thing is they found it when i was comming back from vacations so it already passed the control 1 time. Oh and the control guy was cool with it, he even showed me a box full of things they take away there was even a half meter secateur lel
I was standing in line for the checkpoint and I was observing these hanging sculptures and objects hanging from the ceiling while everyone else was staring at their phones. Because of this, it made me look suspicious and when I went to put my items on the conveyor belt, I was pulled aside by a TSA worker. He ordered me to put my hands out and he sprayed my palms with a liquid to test for gunpowder/explosives residue. I'm white for fucks sake, do I really look like a Mehmet or an Ahmed? Out of ~500 people waiting in line I was the only one who was tested. They even ignored the arabs and sandpeople. Whole situation pissed me off.
>>77399849
I did get x-rayed by the Policia Nationale in Colombia, but they were looking to see if I had swallowed capsules of drugs, so I guess that was not really security.
>>77389767
>>77389767
>go through metal detector
>it beeps
>metal shank in the sole of my boots
>never been a problem before
>take off boots and sit down
>lady stands toe to toe with me and scans my feet which have socks on
>beeps again
>tells me to take off my socks
>lady scans my bare feet
>wand beeps again
>lady looking confused
>scans my feet again
>wand beeps again
>eureka
>she realises she has steel capped boots on and has been scanning her own boots
>>77399972
Calm down, they pulled Al Fucking Gore out for a personal check one time, you are not immune.
Also, check my Captcha tittie-cookies!
>travel around Mexico, no problems pretty relaxed.
>fly home.
>buy bottle of coke at Mexican airport, no problem flying with it.
>arrive Holland, have to go through security from plane to airport and throw away unopened coke.
>literally why?
>arrive Sweden.
>take the "wrong" exit, same corridor with just a simple fence in the middle.
>customs guy ask if I have any alcohol/tobacco do declare tax thing on. No.
>Informs me on my wrong doing and tell me to go back the 2 meters and go on the right side of the fence.
>>77389767
> Forgot my computer in my luggage
> Old TSA agent pulls it off the line, pulls out computer
> "Is this yours sir?"
> "Y-yeah"
> Now because the machine saw it, he has to scan it with his government issue "state-of-the-art" danger wand
> He already knows this piece of shit the government gave him is going to say its potentially hazardous
> It goes off
> Old TSA guy: "Piece of shit."
> I have to get pat down now
> Takes like ten seconds, shockingly not as invasive as I'd heard
> Gives me my shit and sends me on my way, tells me to put my computer in a separate bin next time so the machine doesn't flip out
>>77389767
I personally haven't had a good one myself but my older brother recently did. I'll tell it from his perspective.
>Doctor studying abroad in Germany
>Also studying in Italy as well
>Decide to bring some gifts back for the family
>Get a bunch of shit from Germany
>Also a bunch of shit from Italy
>In Italy one such object was a 50 inch double ended dildo
>I was getting this for my Dad
>Stupidly didn't put it in my luggage and instead put it in carry-on
>I get held up because of it
>They take out the 50 inch double-ended dildo
>I'm not allowed it on the plane
>They probably think I'll garrote the pilot with it or something
>Don't get to bring the dildo home for dad
I'm dissapointed I really wish I got to see that dildo.
>>77389767
Pretty much every time I pass through airport security they find something metal and potentially dangerous in my carry on luggage and I get waved to the side to be talked to.
I always say "oh shit I forgot about that, yeah just bin it. No I dont care, just throw it in the bin" Then I continue on.
Bike locks, knives, plastic guns, chemicals.
>>77400039
>senor, you may want to have this possible cancer checked when you return to gringoland, trust me I've seen a lot of those
>>77400650
Are you a New Irishman?
>>>>77389767
some nigger patted me down and felt up my waist under my pants for some reason
>going through one of these horrible things
>it detects something in my pocket
>full pat down, take it out and try again
>repeat x3 because I kept forgetting I had more stuff in my pockets
you should've seen the look on the TSA guy's face the third time when I wasted 15 minutes of his life with a pen and a GBA game
>>77389767
checked in baggage, later came over intercom, 'anon, report to customs'. ohshit.jpg- was carrying contraband in luggage and on person. went to customs, contents of luggage strewn all over floor, 4 ppl rummaging through it.
that feel when they were looking for a canister of gas that had shown up on x-ray, told me to go dispose of it
>>77389767
Mexican tsa types spent 3 minutes staring at a x-ray screen of some swords I was bringing back to the states. I had all the proper paperwork, so I just grabbed it off the conveyor and went to the plane.
I refused to go through the cancer scanner and opted for search instead.
Big fucking nigger puts his hands all over me and feels my cock.
Realize I'm in hell because in any reasonable society I would have been in my rights to kill this fucking nigger for his actions.
>>77390430
>mexican intellectuals
>>77396758
Have you forgotten that Britain and America have police forces that are afraid to seem racist? There could easily be a similar situation with the TSA.
As for me, TSA always opens all my luggage and I have to put it all back together. I carry a lot of electronics with me, so I'm not really surprised when it happens.
>Went on a camping trip
>Packed tent inside carry on
>Scanner detected metal object in bag
>Full body search and a scalp massage
>Supervisor inspects bag
>Lets me go because he sees that it's just tent poles.
>MFW I deploy my tent and find my 8 inch boot knife inside.
I managed to get a 9-inch switchblade through EU customs, making me the most dangerous man in Britain.
>>77389767
>Police Officer who used to be stationed at the airport a few years back.
>Things have changed and most of the old guard for the port has retired or moved away.
>Always was suspicious of people who wear Burquas or anything obscuring their face.
>Not racist mind you it's just if I can only see the slit of your eyes then I get anxious.
>Flying over to London for vacation.
>I kid you not a woman in full burqua veil where you can see anything is getting checked in.
>TSA officer was like the Short woman on the right and but with tumblr hair part of it dyed pink.
>Black guy was a woman that looked Pakistani.
>Burqua woman is "Pre-Pass" bullshit so all they do is wand her and I didn't see her pull out a passport or driver's license.
>I get spooked because that's still stupid as all get out.
>When I get up they pat me down, ask me for my id, and everything else.
>I ask why that lady didn't have to do anything I had to.
>She looks to the Paki guard and she nods back while she tells me, "None of your concern." and holds me up even longer for more wanding.
>Finally get through and go on vacation but still spooks the hell out of me they'd just let something like that go. I almost thought they were in on it and were going to do something.
>>77389767
That I didnt sign up for TSA precheck earlier
Customs had a dog sniff me, dog hit on me, took me into a little room had me spread my ass cheeks. I live in hell.
>pass through metal detector after long ass wait
>PLEASE STEP HERE
>in the middle of the crowd of a few hundred people there is a glass cube
>Make me stand inside this cube for 10 minutes
>start patting me down while everybody who passes by stares
>this is the only way to pass by so everybody entering this terminal has to watch me
>after patting me down and scanning me for another 10 minutes they let me go
fuck off dumb faggot TSA
The entire problem with TSA stems from the fact that they pay just high enough to attract niggers but aren't willing to pay the few extra shekels to hire qualified white people.
Why raise the standards and pay more, when you can lower the standards and pay less?
Which is why I find the whole privatize TSA argument laughable. If you're not satisfied with the service you get now from the civil service niggers, firing them and replacing them with minimum wage Guatemalan janitors and Pakistani skycaps isn't going to fix your problem.
>>77401356
once I flew in with 1800$ worth of fixed blades, folding knives and multitools from Murica, they didn't even tax me; I saved about 50% compared to yuropoor prices on same items
>>77389767
This dude was rude to me and made me take my passport out of my passport holder.
>>77389767
I am from flag related so every time I travel they think I'm smuggling cocaine.
Get on my level crybabies
>At some Florida airport
>Leave my belt on and set off metal detector
>take it off and have to go through the body scanner that let's TSA see your dick
>They say that there is some kind of reading on my back
>TSA agent says it's probably just sweat
>TSA Laughs his ass off at me because my back is drenched in sweat because I wore a backpack in the 110°f hell that is Florida
>>77389767
happened in 2013
>Spend week in Thailand scuba diving
>Fly into LAX
>Customs flags me
> why is a single white man in his mid 20's vacationing by himself?
>apparent after 30 seconds they think I am a sex tourist and go through my stuff
> image my laptop, phone to examine for any cp vid I may have made on my vacation
> Sit in interrogation room for 4 hours as they perform 'level one" review
miss flight to vegas
> Finally let me go.
>tell me holding my passport pending review of my media
> costs $125 to re-book next flight
I have no clue what triggered this
>>77389767
They made me take my ps3 out of my backpack a couple of years ago, that's about it
>>77400925
Why the fuck would you not just look in your pockets after the first time? And just tak everything out?
honestly i flew a few months ago, not internationally mind you, wasnt bad, TSA was weird but didnt seem very competent or effective desu
They never felt me up but had us take our shoes off and go through a scanner, they only checked my wives hoodie.
For some reason they thought they had to search me more at the Oasaka airport. Took me in a separate room, and a qt3.14 young female touched my body to see if I had hidden something.
Not that bad actually.
>>77401941
But did you BLEACH any Thai whores?
>>77389767
>Fly over mexican border back into Dallas
>"WHERE YA BEEN"
>"YOU GO WITH THIS GUY?"
>"WHAT YA DO THERE?"
>"PUT YER PASSPORT UP AND GTFO"
My only experience actually being in texas. Everything does seem bigger and LOUDER desu
>>77401941
Never vacation by yourself. I used to get pulled in at the border all the time for it. It's autist discrimination I tell you.
>>77401914
Every fucking time.
>>77390898
Should smacked her ass
>>77402207
>you want girlfriend?
>come with me baby
>me make you feel good
every time
>>77390914
In America I think they allowed you to fly with a non locking knife under 4 inches, not sure if they changed it back
>>77389767
Was high and drunk as fuck once coming back from Barcelona. There was a drug dog from the border police who began to shout at me.
>sir follow us please
I follow them and they started checking me. Me drunk beginning to provoke them. I start struggle so the officer grab my arms with his both hands meanwhile he put his finger in my ass.
I'm pretty sure this fucker didn't follow the correct procedure and he did it to piss me off because I insulted him.
>>77389767
A couple years ago I had one of those combs that looked like a switchblade and they made a real fucking big deal about. Like yelling and grabbing me and shit.
>had to spend night at Zürich airport, everything is closed and shut down.
>they only have shitty metal benches to sit on.
>starbucks is closed off with ropes but have comfy sofas so I go there to sleep
>security bitch with rottweiler come and tell us we cant be there.
>fine, find some other chairs that's not totally shit outside cafe that is not closed off
>bitch come again and chase us away. Spend rest of night on a luggage wagon
>go through security check in the morning tiered af and pissed off
>forgot sunglasses on head *beep* *beep*
>metal detector wand and pat down
could have been worse I suppose.
>>77389767
it's a toss up between them having to put my bag through the machine a second time or having to pat my legs down when I was wearing loose fitting pajama pants
>>77389767
Not politics
saged and reported
>>77389767
>Flying to Hawaii with my sister in December 2001
>Sister hates flying and everything to do with airports
>Constant delays and reschedules all morning
>Sister freaking out that our flight might not even happen
>Finally go through US Security
>Security asks us how our morning is
>Sister starts crying - hug sister and tell her it's going to be alright
>Female security officer smiles and says what a great brother I am
>Checks passports
>Waves us through with a smile
I've never really had a bad experience, though I don't fly often.
Flying to London they swabbed my camera for explosives. Probably routine/random, nbd.
The girl working immigration in London Heathrow was a bit of a cunt. My passport wouldn't scan because of some water damage so she had to enter it by hand. She was glaring at me and warning that she could refuse me entry because of it.
>flew out of LAX to TX
>tupperware full of DUDE COOKIES
>bring as carry on and late for my flight
>trying to rush through security so I probably look really nervous
>tsa ends up goes through my bag swag
>she cracks the tupperware open 5 ft away from me and even I can smell dat sheeet
>luckily had my medical rec under it
You never know with those national bodies and pot laws but she waved me on by
>>77402920
ummmm, sounds like there is more to this wincest story.
>>77401356
SAVE A LIFE
SURRENDER YOUR KNIFE
>>77396690
im going to israel in like 12 days ayyyy
>>77401941
>Shoot vid with prostitute
>Upload to mega
>Wipe device
>Come home
>Download yo vid
PORFIT????
happened a few months ago
>have to go two funerals so was really hoping I wouldn't have a problem at the airport
>Earling in the morning, tampa intl. standing in line
>even though I showed up 2 hours early for my flight they only had two people working the American Airlines section for luggage and one of them was busy with some asian family and everyone had to wait an incredibly long time
>same deal with TSA security station, a bunch of people standing around in front of the roped off section and only three people actually moving people through out of over a dozen.
>finally go through, haven't flown in a while so didn't remember you needed to show them physical identification before you could even take your shoes off
>while taking out my wallet I hear the TSA agent, an overweight hispanic woman start to get lippy "You should know you have to present identification blah blah blah"
>tell her sorry and that I haven't flown in a while
>no additional screening but they make me go through the scanner several times even though it never beeped and I had no metal objects on me.
>still make it on time
>get to Chicago ohare
>connecting flight delayed because of high winds
>lose luggage anyway
>have to go to aunts funeral wearing clothes I traveled in.
>american airlines customer service representative hung up on me when I asked for explanation
>eventually got luggage back after funeral but couldn't get luggage fee waved
fuck airlines
They made me finish my coffee before I went through the metal detector.
>>77404152
That's not what they were looking for.
They thought I was a kiddie fucker on vaca
>>77389767
I got held at Brisbane airport for 2 hours because of speeding tickets id got 10 years before in my home country.
They were acting as if I was going to cause chaos on the roads in Australia.
This isn't necicarilly terrible, but when I was a kid, my dad and I were outside, testing some .22 crackshots in the backyard before our flight. After we got finished, he put the remaining bullets in his shirt pocket, and finished packing his stuff. Thing is, he forgot to lock up the bullets when he locked up his gun. So we get to the airport, check in, and he realizes at the last second that he's got the bullets. He pulls over a TSA guy, shows 'em to him, and gets told to throw 'em out. Me and mom waited for him on the other side of the gate until he caught up with us.
they made me throw out my shampoo because I didn't know you couldn't bring more than a certain amount on board
fucking monsters
>>77399298
laughed so fucking hard
>>77404273
Should've said you went for the traps
>>77389767
they make take out my belt
i am getting /fit/ so my clothes are getting big, so i got to walk 5 meters like a nigger showing dem boxers
>>77389767
my gawd none of them lift.....this is the least intimidating picture i have ever laid mine eyes upon...WTB GigaNiga5000
>>77404542
my god. did you get dry and flaky?
>>77400366
I wanted to get one of those 24 inch jelly dildos and run around at night assaulting people with them
They'd call me the dildo bandit. It'd make the papers for sure.
>>77400925
Can't wait to see the cancer spike in a few years of people who go through these machines
>>77390176
I flew with a couple spare bullets in my bag from when I used it for camping in the past. Didn't notice them till I got to my hotel at my destinations.
I had to go through security three times at the newark airport yesterday. Each time they pulled apart my bags and searched and tested the contents. Wasted tons of my time. Forced me to wait past midnight as well, because my boarding pass was for the morning after and I was sleeping in the airport. They lost the bag with all my clothes as well on top of it all.
I got randomly selected for inspection twice. I'm white, and so are my family.
Other than that, I don't think badly of going to the airport. I'm always more afraid of flying, anyways.
>>77399409
This, was going to Amsterdam trough Wiena
Always had to throw away my bottle at check just so i could buy another after the check ..
fucking jews
>>77400904
No. I just always forget to search my bag.
>>77390555
Must be nice being part of the less-likey to do crime race.
>Leaving short vacation in Israel
>plane leaving in 2 hours or something when I arrive to airport
>have no baggage so after self checkin start walking to security check
>"sir you need to go to baggage drop line first for interview"
>go in line for baggage drop without baggage
>Woman starts interviewing me asking shitloads of loaded questions about my short stay and lack of baggage etc
>"sir you seem nervous why are you nervous"
>know beforehand that they rate you 1-5 in how suspicious you are
>get a 5 as in max suspicious
>"sir, also you cannot take your board(miniskateboard) into the plane, you need to make special delivery for it"
>special delivery guy asks why the fuck am i sending my board in the mail, why not just carry it
>contemplate taking the board against orders but send it by mail after all
>go into security check
>they see my 5star rating and take me to some special line
>lots of waiting
>search my bag, shoes etc thoroughly
>I only had a small bag so didn't take too long to pack my stuff back
>need to go through regular security check again with a long queue
>arrive to my gate 5min before boarding starts
>my board was lost/stolen
It wasn't really that bad but I was tired and just felt really shit how they treated me like a criminal. I liked Israel but the airport just left a bad taste in my mouth. Really taking finnish security for granted at times.
>got to airport too late
>boarding is in 10 minutes and I'm no where close to even security
>nice people let me cut quite a ways
>15 minutes after boarding started
>don't pass metal detector
>too stressed to be coherent
>try to tell TSA guy that I'm stressed as fuck and I'll leave all my clothes behind if I have to
>he lets me do the metal detector one more time
>pass
>sprint to my gate and somehow make it
Legit thought I was going to miss my flight. Whole thing was my fault. Apparently you just have to act like a stressed out autist and you'll get a free pass.
>go through security etc and get on the plane
>about to sit down
>realise I don't have my phone
>must have left it at security in the xray machine
>throw my backpack into my seat and run off the plane
>keep running
>get phone back etc and back to the plane in time
>people are looking a bit nervous and some are laughing
Apparently an old guy saw me throw my backpack and run off the plane and yelled out "HE'S LEFT HIS BOMB BAG BEHIND"
Just throw spaghetti and lucky charms at them and you can get out of any situation.
Irish privilege is one of the best.
>>77389767
`not airport but i was a lonely latino in the Shanghai subway system:
>be me
>look lost and confused
>2 police officers come to me
>"good afternoon sir, may we see some personal identification please?"
>"sure officer. here's my passport and visa. im a tourist."
>they check my passport
>everything checks out fine
>"Thank you for your cooperation sir. have a nice day"
>"thank you officers you also have a good day. oh could you please tell me what train should i take for my hotel?" as i point at my map
>they help me
>we part our ways smiling
guess what? not acting like a nigger helps a lot!
>>77394764
from oregon, can confirm
I keep finding .22lr is obscure-ass places, I wouldn't be surprised if a few end up in my daily carry bag or luggage
>>77389767
I was staying at a friends in New York for a week. When I was flying back home I didn't realize his roommates pocket knife fell (?) into my luggage. I was pulled aside by TSA during the scan and asked if I was carrying a weapon in my luggage. I had no idea what they were talking about, so he proceeded to pull the knife out of the bag. He bought my story of it having miraculously slipped into the bag because who would be foolish enough to try to bring a knife onto an airplane in New York City. My only punishment was watching him throw it in the trash. Nothing bad to say about TSA. The machine didn't even pick up the mostly empty baggy of coke I had left in my jacket.
>>77393644
Those searches are same-sex only by law, I believe.
>>77397035
Similar experience here.
Did you know that if you shit while getting a body scan they will take you in for questioning?
Cuba
Security chick with way too much make-up and gold chains like a cheap whore got all bitchy when I didn't push the plastic tray with my stuff in it along the thing that leads to the scanner. In every other country security people push those things and when I just stood there she gave me THAT look, snapped her tongue and gestured as if I were a dog. Nothing dramatic all things considered and since I don't travel much I don't have many airport experiences but that bitch was just... a bitch.
Protip: The women in Cuba are generally shit tier.
>>77394333
Americans understand the importance of airport security
>be 13
>be in India with parents on some bullshit trip
>go through New Delhi security
>get stopped for a patdown
>male Indian security guard has a very unsettling smile on his face
>tired as shit because 18 hours of travel that day
>he asks me "are you tired?" in creepy Indian voice
>mumble out a yes
>"are you single?"
>parents pull me away
India is both figuratively and literally the shittiest country on Earth.
>was 14
>Was flying to Germany
>Got checked cuz they thought I had a bomb
> I apparently looked suspicious
> I arrive to Germany
> Gets very sick and starts throwing up
> arrives to Egypt Because connecting flight
> Gets attacked by Egyptian security
>Germany thought I had a new disease
>I had a stomach virus
>was 14
>Was flying to Germany
>Got checked cuz they thought I had a bomb
> I apparently looked suspicious
> I arrive to Germany
> Gets very sick and starts throwing up
> arrives to Egypt Because connecting flight
> Gets attacked by Egyptian security
>Germany thought I had a new disease
>I had a stomach virus
>FeelsBadMan.png
>>77389767
Barely related, but
>Be a few years ago
>Be with family on vacation in Eastern Europe
>Everything's fine
>Vacation ends, we get to airport on time
>Have to fly to Frankfurt to catch our connecting flight back home
>We land in Frankfurt airport, and make our way to our next flight
>NOPE.jpg
>Fucking long ass security line
>Takes us three fucking hours to clear the damned thing
>Pulled aside at metal detector
>Scanned again, nothing
>Turns out it's just my belt
>Sent on my way
>We make it to the terminal just as the plane's about to take off
>Have to book another flight out of that shithole
>Have to wait six hours there until our next flight
>Lufthansa refuses refund our tickets, apparently it's our fault we didn't get through a 2 hour security line fast enough
>Fly back home with no more hassle
>Get back to America
>TSA at American airport is actually friendly, quick and efficient
>We never fly Lufthansa or pass through Germany again, opting to go through the UK or the Netherlands the next time we fly
Fuck you, you German cucks.
How did you fuckers ever gain the reputation of being orderly and efficient?
That was the worst experience I've ever had flying, and I flew in a dinky-ass Croatian airplane before that felt like it was going to fall apart any second.
Your airport was filled with mudslimes, too.
>>77389767
>Have 9" cock, 6" flaccid
>Hispanic with a white wife
>Wearing my Chubbies shorts because its hot as fuck where Im going
>Randomly chosen for Pat down
>300lb negress asks if I have any weapons on me
>She pays me down and you he's my dick
>Asks me what it is
>"It's my little amigo"
I think I was randomly chosen because of my Trump hat. Who knows.
>>77389767
Once went through and the alarm went off cause some little piece of metal in integrated in pants.
Quick search and let me go.
Didn't ask any questions other than are you Finnish.
>>77389767
>qt redhead security guard
>frisks me
>get a raging boner
>looks me right in the eye
>"get out of here, I don't want to deal with you"
I felt mistreated, vile and disgusting and after this, I developed a dominatrix fetish
>>77389767
>Be in Ukraine 4 weeks ago
>have some sick ass ammo shells in my backpack, left over from Mariupol Police HQ attacks
>In Kiev, catch taxi to airport with Irish dude.
>late as fuck for the plane, Sergei the taxi driver took us offroad to get to airport.
>Initial bag xray at the door.
>Get pulled over because of shells
>To my surprise my newly made Irish mate also gets pulled over for having a gasmask
>Two huge cops come over and ask us why we have these things
>"Because it's cool" I say in poor Russian
>clock is ticking, We get taken down some escalators to the Airport Police HQ
>Dude look shells over, cant smell cordite. >Says we can go
>Mad rush through baggage and security as boarding opens soon
>Hear 'Mr Anon to the gate'
>Hear it again, see small potato looking security bloke waiting for me
>taken through security doors, passport given to a soldier
>I am joined by 3 other militant looking police man and we go into a lift
>taken to a room with my bag on the table, there is about 6-7 big ass Ukrainians and me in this room
>Asked what I have in my bag, dude pulls out 2 huge ammo shells, a rusty mauser casing
>And my grinder, still smelly and coverered in crystals. completely forgot I had it
>They pass it around along with the shells in interest then pack them back in the bag and put bag in big plastic liner
>'Okay sign here and you can go and keep these'
>get to the gate just in time
>flight attendant tells me there is a good chance my bag wont be on the flight I am on
>Fuck it
It was first off the plane. not so bag, worst was probably trying to get back into Australia on a dodgy work visa, being pulled aside and questioned. all the while with loads of fags from Santiago, chile stuffed down my trousers that kept coming loose
>>77395231
Hope you get a big pay day from suing them lad
>>77396674
"backpacking"
found like 2 gram of coke, it was some like 30 year old dude he just went through my bag, 'disposed' of it and told me to never bring that shit to an airport ever again.
>>77394523
That's what you get for being a faggot.
>>77391494
Same
>>77389767
I made my way through airport security with some dank ass weed seeds. When I had my layover in Texas I stepped out of the secure area to have a cigarette. When I tried to make my way back through security they had me go into that full-body imaging thing, and the dude saw I had a napkin in my right pocket and asked me to take it out. They found my weed seeds and arrested me. I tried to explain that I had a medicinal marijuana license in California but they didn't want to hear it. Fucking pigs.
>>77389767
I had take my boots off and I had a pair of socks with giant holes in them.
>>77389767
I was heading home from Colorado and I ate 5 weed gummy bears and smoked some joints before and I started dancing through the metal detector and they told me to settle down and stop
>>77389767
>be me
>denver international
>my bag beeps
>uh ok
>suddenly surrounded by TSA officers led by bitchy middle aged woman
>"OPEN YOUR BAG"
>uh okay
>I'm only 16 and start freaking out
>my cell phone is in my bag, last thing I put in there and took out battery so it wouldn't turn on because I was paranoid about that
>woman sees it
>"WE DON'T LIKE TO SEE THAT"
>"what? it's just a cell phone."
>pulled aside, patted down, told they're doing a bomb swab test on my phone
>spend 20 minutes trying to find bomb materials on the phone and keep grilling me with questions I don't know how to answer
>"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PHONE"
>"I bought it at a store"
>"WHERE ARE YOU FROM"
>"boston, that's where I'm going"
>even have my passport to prove I'm an American
>start freaking out and thinking I'm going to get bagged and send to Gitmo because this woman is lobbing out so many threats
>test comes back negative and woman manhandles me back to my duffel bag
>"SEARCH THE REST OF YOUR BAG."
>"SLOWLY AND KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM."
>start going through bag
>realize what beeped
>a bottle of sun screen
>a motherfucking bottle of sun screen beeping on the machine which they couldn't tell made me think I was gonna get a cap in my ass from TSA agents
>"I know what caused this"
>"WHAT?"
>pull out sun screen; TSA bitch screams about how I should have done it slower "OR ELSE SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED"
>TSA bitch gets mad at me for spending a half hour and holding up security line for a bottle of sunscreen after accusing me of having a bomb
I'm pretty sure she wanted me to have a bomb so she could shoot me or something, she was crazy.
I hate the TSA.
>>77397375
le maple weed
Well, did you?
>>77389767
>be waiting in line behind family
>both mom and dad get to avoid the scanner, force their elementary-school son to go through the X-Ray machine
>his father makes a huge deal of it, finally relenting when they tell him they would have to do a pat-down otherwise
>kid goes through
>"We need to pat him down anyways"
>dad goes ballistic, holding up the line again
>"Sir, he has an unconfirmed object in his pants"
>kid scoffs
>"That's just my privates!"
>everyone immediately turns red, except the dad who starts beaming like a champ
>mfw I find out a 12 year-old has a bigger dick than me
>mfw the TAS girls are schlinking to 12 year-old dick
>mfw when I got to the gate and found out I missed my plane because the kid's dad held up the line
>>77389767
Realizing I got on the plane with a folding utility knife. Thank you Philadelphia International Airport.
They searched my little sister randomly, all that was in her bag was dolls and clothes. She got so scared she started crying
>>77389767
I had a bottle of Armani in my bag, I forgot about the ban on fluids, they confiscated my Armani, they I said under my breath, "Stupid Fucking Muslims", they security faggot heard me, then pulled me over and started testing my toothpaste for drugs et cetera.
The white security faggot really tried to project onto me that I was the bad guy.
>>77389767
>Traveling to US with family (in 2002 i think, post 9/11 anyways)
>Bring my teddybear with me cuz I'm a little faggot kid
>Carry it in my hands through metal detector
>Fat black woman in security rips it from my hands and starts squeezing it while giving me the stinkeye
>tfw best friend gets molested
As if a little white kid from Sweden would smuggle a fucking grenade or something onto an airplane
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsLwPCRv49Y
>>77389767
>go through airport in germany
>Almost everyone doing security is arabic
>minorities go through without even taking off their jackets
>I got pat down TWICE because my sweater bunched up "weirdly"
No wonder Europe is fucked.
>>77404975
I mean what are you going to do with a couple of stray bullets but no gun to shoot them with
They gutted my dog in qatar because they thought I put drugs inside him.
>>77389767
None. I've traveled plenty of times, never had any issues.
>>77406177
I'm surprised /b/ hasn't protested this yet. Put a feminist spin on it or something.
>>77401941
What happens if they try to do this and shit's encrypted
some tsa woman gave me attitude about emptying my pockets and putting a couple of dollar bills in the plastic tray. apparently youre not supposed to put paper in them or whatever i wasnt really listening.
>>77389767
>me and a few buds want to have a holiday in Bulgaria
>get in line at the security check
>one of the security guards is a total qt3.14
>The line is long so we have to wait a bit
>she just stands in a corner doing nothing the whole time
>engage eye contact
>after some time she notices me
>keeps looking away at first but after some time she starts staring back smiling
>a couple minutes pass like this
>it's finally our turn
>my buds all go through the detector and get scanned by some huge fat spic looking guy
>I'm last and as I go though the detector towards the big guy the qt comes over to me
>starts checking me from head to toes
>takes her time at my lower regions
>big dude looks confused as fuck because it probably wasn't her job to check people
>watch my buds as they're laughing their asses off
>qt stands up and her face is like 10cm away from mine
>still smiles but it's more like a soft smug "I want you right now" expression
>as I go over to the side to get my bag she actually lightly gropes my ass and immediatly walks back to the corner doing nothing
>look around and luckily nobody seemed to have noticed it
>give her one last smile and head to the gate
Best airport moment ever.
>I work for TSA
>screening Hawaiian Airlines
>large bulbous masses in checked baggage
>have to check it
>move aside clothes
>find three plastic baggies with sculpted rubber pussies in them
>the kind with the buttocks and upper thighs sculpted too
>they're slick with some kind of translucent liquid
>I can feel the slickness through my gloves
Many keks at this job.
Hi FIS.
>
>>77408945
>things that happened
t. sven
>>77389767
I used to run a crew at EIA as a Rampie crew lead. I took some vacation and as I went through security, some new brown girl tried to give me lip about the shark-tooth necklace I had (babby-sized tooth, got in Hawaii as we were decompressing from Afghanistan). I gave her the same lip back and called her supervisor, who I knew and occasionally hung out with, over to go over her. She wasn't happy, but bitch, you don't even have your red pass yet, get the fuck outta here.
>>77389767
Shortly after 9/11 I forgot I had a geometry set in my backpack when going through TSA on the way to Mexico. Guard pulled it out and asked what it was, and I had a very hard time not calling him a idiot but managed to restrain myself and calmly explain what it was and what the contents inside would do. It didn't get confiscated.
I also once forgot I had an SAK in my carry on on the way back from Europe. They found it in Vancouver, bitch pulled it out and asked "sir, what is this" and I told her "it's a Swiss Army Knife with custom engraving purchased in Geneva." She made an angry face, threatened to confiscate it next time and put it in a ziploc bag.
>>77408680
Straight to gulag
>not kidding, if you don't unlock it they'll arrest you because fuck the constitution
>>77394608
Sick burn, it was clearly worth it.
>>77391793
Can you decline to let them destroy your property and leave the airport not boarding the plane?
>>77389767
I fly roughly once a month within Europe, and two to three times a year to the US. Never had a major issue, didn't get raped by TSA.
I'm pretty sure the jews keep a very detailed record of my flights, so I'm not quite happy about my movements being recorded by the European authorities and then sold to the American one's.
>>77409067
I'm sorry that you never got such a treatment Tyrone.
>>77389767
>be me
>passing through LAX on way to new zealand
>TSA agent says HI
>i say hi
>go through all the scanner stuff
>TSA agent say THANKS
>i say no worries
>went to nearest restaurant and proceeded to drink
10/10 would TSA again
>>77408945
She clearly had never seen a black man before
>>77409399
You have up until the actual search to decline screening.
I had to take my shoes off
I was wearing mismatched socks
>>77409472
They're actually much nicer than the guards are up here, CATSA agents in Van can be pretty fucking officious.
>>77409205
I can understand it raises a lot of red flags but really what can they actually do? It's not as if you've committed a crime or a judge has issued a warrant.
>Going home from holiday in Germoney
>Warm summer evening
>Don't feel like emptying my pockets of keys, wallet, passport, etc. and the hassle of putting my belt back on
So when it came to my turn, I flipeed my sneakers off, undid my trousers, and just dumped the trousers in the bin on the belt, and walked through the metal detector.
I heard the security guys mumbling "And the evening is just starting."
>Did the same thing when I was catching my connecing flight from Oslo (retarded system has you go through security there as well)
>>77409472
What's New Zealand like?
>>77389767
When I went to America 2 years ago they asked me the reason for my visit and I stated I was there to try out "American Burgers". They didn't like this and I was held in a room for questioning. 2 hours later and a missed connection flight I got a free Fudd Rucker meal. So it kinda worked out in the end I guess
>>77408291
Were you in transit at Frankfurt airport? Like 90% of people working there were either T*rkish, Arab or African. That was the only instance where my baggage was emptied out by the flight staff. Fucking annoying. I went through Vienna airport on the way back, and it had mostly ethnic Germans working there.
>>77408247
Another story that is slighty off topic but whatever:
>traveling to italy last year
>sit next to an italian man on plane
>looks uneasy, sweating and what not.
>assume he's just nervous about flying
>mid flight he goes to bathroom
>entire plane starts smelling like tobacco
>after about half an hour he steps out of bathrom
>litteraly in a cloud of smoke
>goes back to seat acting like nothing
>when landing theres a shitload of tiny cops in funny uniforms waiting for plane
>they arrest the italian
>he flatly denies smoking, acting annoyed doing italian hands while smelling like an ashtray
>mfw they can't prove anything and let him go
>>77398096
>tfw he didn't even work at the airport
