Have you ever committed any crimes /pol/?
>Sold small amounts of weed
>Shoplifting
>Fighting on drunken nights out
>Vandalized peoples cars
All pretty degenerate behavior from my younger years but I have never been caught and don't have any criminal convictions
Who is the worst criminal here or has anyone ever done any jail time?
Scandinavian jails doing count
Just shoplifting here
I was a dumb, edgy teenager
>>77344473
arson of a migrant center
I posted on a hate speech website.
>>77344473
Harry potter meets john wick
>>77344473
Forgery of French Military documents.
Being born a fucking white male.
>>77344777
nice trips
>>77344473
No, crime is for niggers.
I once said a bad thing about brown people.
>>77344766
Harry Wick
>>77344473
i pissed on an old faggot's car when i was in high school.
>>77344473
I pissed on an old faggot's car in high school
>>77344652
kek
>>77344652
for real?
>>77344777
hue that sure was lucky sweden
>>77344473
Sold weed to people
Shoplifted when I was really drunk
Drove alone drunk to mcdonalds before I had my licence
Nothing outlandish, but stupid stuff.
I haven't paid taxes on my car in like half a year and still drive around.
>>77344769
I mean it might not be a crime. Does anyone know if it's against the law to create and distribute a fake military ID?
>>77344473
>Vingardium Smashface-a was his last spell
I've mooned people before, that's public nudity, surely?
I've watched porn while under the age of 18
>>77344473
Killed a gypsy in 1998.
>>77344473
Assault and battery, but I'm white so no one bothered me about it.
>>77345161
I don't know for sure but I would assume that's a pretty serious crime Canada
>sold kids fake weed
>sold kids fake lean
>sold kids fake mushrooms
the list goes on for about 2 more lines
>>77344652
Musta been a short fuse.
I downloaded a song I didn't pay for once
>>77344473
it's only a crime if you get caught m8
so no.
also I do stuff on a weekly basis that would land you in jail if done in a neighbouring country like france.
shit thread t b h onii-senpai
>>77344473
Dated someone who was white like me
>>77345318
Get away with it? How did you kill him? I know you Slavs like to stamp on homeless people when they are asleep
>>77344473
Me and some friends got in some shit for throwing a Somali from the Asylum center into the ocean
We where under 18, so we just had to bring our parents to the police station, our parents could not care less
>>77344473
i srsly can't tell if that's a boy or girl in that pic
>>77344473
Badass
>>77344652
Even more Badass
>>77345318
story?
Let's see...
Breaking an entering, burglary, all kinds of vandalism, public intoxication, fighting in public, all kinds of drug stuff. Here are things I've actually been charged with:
>Trespassing
>Disturbing the peace
>Assault on a police office
>Affray
>Assault with a dangerous weapon
>Possession of Class D
>Threatening to commit a crime
>Domestic assault
and probably more. It's a miracle I'm not a felon.
>>77344473
>Fighting on drunken nights out
Being young and stupid
Good times
>>77344652
not a crime
>>77344473
>Minor shoplifting (once)
Stole some cheap chocolate bar when I was 7 years old and felt terrible afterwards. In fact, I felt so bad for having acted like a nigger that I actually paid them back by letting them keep the change when I went there again.
I have masturbated repeatedly to illegal pornography.
>>77344473
Once accidently stole a chewing gum.
I sped once. It was awful
>>77345448
Well what do you do then you watch making cuck?
>Only a crime if you get caught
>That logic
I neither confirm nor deny that i have ever committed any criminal acts.
>>77344473
Raped a 10 year old boy in a German swimming pool, the boy apologised and I got 10,000 euro.
>>77345461
you country is shit and your people are sub-humans
>>77345417
I contacted the FBI, Gestapo and the Internet police
I hope you burn in hell for all eternity you sick bastard
>>77345496
Oh, I forgot that the assault with a dangerous weapon charge was waged as a hate crime. 7 year mando. Thank god I got off of that. Prison would not be kind to me.
>>77345055
Nice dubs, but you're still degenerate.
>>77344473
>meme magic
I shot the sheriff.
purchased alcohol and weed for friends when i was underage because i looked older
arson, mostly garbage cans
>>77345693
But I didn't shoot the deputy
>Clapton did it best
>>77345161
>>77344769
Well nobody seems to care but I'll tell the story anyway cause I'm hammered as shit and its funny.
So my brother is in the French foreign legion- remove kebab and all that. And he is on leave for the weekend or something in the city once, and he lights up some hashish is what I think he called it. Anyway I'm 99% sure it's faggot language for weed. So he starts smoking the weed and then his fellow legion mates call him over to see something. So he puts down his reefer or whatever you use to smoke faggot weed- right on the table on top of his military ID which he had just gotten issued fresh.
So it got burnt pretty bad in a lot of places. He sent me some pictures the next day. Couldn't get a new one cause the commander would be pissed and weedlmao is strictly verboten. So he sends pics off to me- I copy the template and reverse engineer the whole thing to make a fairly convincing replica. Same font, spacing and everything I mirrored it perfectly and then sent it back to him. He prints it off and Bam- new ID until he can get a new legit one.
idk if illegal since I forged it for my bro who had a legit ID it just smelled like weed and was burnt from the weed flames
>>77344910
>>77344950
HIVEMIND
>>77345667
Why was it a hate crime? And what weapon did you use?
>>77344910
I pissed on an old faggot when I was in high school..
>>77345646
Says fucking Lithuania
> You country.
Wat?
>>77345417
You fucking monster
>>77344473
nice try fbi
>>77345619
I torrent instead of buying :^)
also no need to be upset, crime is subjectif anyway.
In some countries you can smoke weed in the streets, others you'll be killed if you do
w/e I committed the same "crimes" as everyone anyway : used drugs and stole some gum or other tiny items.
went over the speed limit that kinda shit.
Went fishing and hunting without a license
that kinda "crimes"
No, but I did pirate stuff as a child before they criminalized it
>>77345789
Well here's the long and short of it:
>Drunk friend shoplifts cigarettes
>notifies me and we book it
>clerk was a mudslime
>chases us down in minivan
>guy was a tank
>had my friend pinned down
>bashing his face into the concrete
>I kick him in the head multiple times (dangerous weapon, called shodfoot)
>cops show
>dumbass friend keeps calling him a sand nigger (initiate hate crime)
>go to big boy jail for the first time ever
I calmed way the fuck down after that.
>>77345455
>Get away with it?
Of course lol, It was a fucking gypsy.
>>77345481
90s were shitty times for Russia, even by Russian standarts. My city was infested with gypsy drugsellers. Me and my friends were young and stupid, we've thought that the best solution of this is to beat every gypsy we see. Drugsellers were mainly kids and women, so it was pretty easy to beat them. Sometimes we just beat them, sometimes we broke their legs. After several raids on them they started to defend themselves, and one stupid fucker decided to use the knife, he died in a hospital.
>>77344652
Het werk van de Heer.
>>77344473
I posted a mean thing online in Britain.
>>77344473
I made about £500 selling nitrous oxide canisters that I bought off Amazon to people at parties in my first year of University.
I also helped my housemate shot pills but not nearly on the same scale
Finally (not really a chargeable offence but the only thing I feel bad about) tried to MDMA from a drug dealer I'd never met before in my first week or so of University. He turned out be 16 and ripped me the fuck off - one thing led to another and I nearly (completely unintentionally) got him kneecapped by a friend of a friend.
>im not a degenerate I swear
>>77346069
I remember 90's episodes of cops that showed Russia as a special edition. Shit was no fucking joke.
Harry "Leave the bitches in stitches" Potter
>>77346027
Lol you helped your mate and he turned your assault in to a hate crime, how long did you get in the pen? And how was it?
conspiracy, assault, theft, copyright infringement, tax/duty evasion, smuggling, trespass, going equipped, fraud, speeding, inciting/communicating racial/religious hatred, criminal mischief.
>we all break laws everyday, the law is an ass
>>77346174
hahaha
>>77344473
Murder
Blackmailing
Bribery
Kidnapping
Falsification
Fraud
Drug trafficking
>>77345786
its the same guy idiot
>>77346297
You missed off planting bombs in pubs lad
>>77346286
Jail and prison are very different experiences. I was in various holdings for 2 or so days, finally about 4-5 hours in actual "jail" before I made bail. I didn't actually do time, per se. But it cost me my life's savings on an attorney. If I was convicted, it would have been 7 years minimum.
>>77345764
Good lad.
By the way, hashish is a marijuana product where the THC-containing resinous material is processed and pressed into blocks.
pic related: hashish and l'herbe together.
>>77344473
>public drinking
>underage drinking
>vandalized buss station
>littering
Nothing much more. Learning how to drink like a human bean was the greatest lesson i learned.
>be me
>live next to Harley Davison shop
>faggots making noise with their ugly fucking bikes every fucking day
>decide fuck it, they're gonna have a break from working
>pour eggs, milk, veggies, butter, piss and a lot more food into a 50l container
>let it rot and ferment for 2 weeks
>fill up glass bottles if it
>throw all over harley Davison building during night
>broken windows, damaged bikes, the stench literally makes you want to vomit
>they didn't work for a week
I hate people who find joy in loud motorcycles
>>77345461
Kek
>>77344898
This.
And OP is a nigger.
>>77346354
The kid was a degenerate but nobody deserves to be threatened like that at that age :(
>>77346286
>>77346432
>How was it
Terrifying. Niggers and crazies every where. I was on the complete edge of insanity for nearly 3 days.
>>77346365
>that list
>that flag
I'm inclined to believe you as you're south american
though, is that even a crime in your country ?
>>77344652
Hero.
>>77346517
but i don't believe you g
>>77346432
I honestly can't imagine murrican jail anything else that what I see in the movies, and I have seen documentary's on those crazy super max prisons you have, I would just assume it would all play out like the Shawshank redemption
>>77346069
Wasn't the 3 guys 1 hammer vid from Russia as well? Or was it Ukraine?
>>77344473
GBH put a man in hospital
GBH put another man in hospital
total fines £2000 no term
bashed some cunt across the knees with a baseball bat.
Strangled a guy till nearly dead then thumbed a nail into his neck.
bit the tip of a nose of a man
several hooligan punch ups.
post lots of anti religion and anti sand nigger shit.
held a sand nigger down and forced gone of ham into his mouth and throat.
They were renovating my old school when I was 13 and were going to give away everything. Books, wallpapers, chairs- everything.
Anyway they had one of the Animorph books, the first book I read repeatedly and the one that actually got me into reading heavier books, and I really really didn't want anyone else to have it. So a week or so before the great give away I took it and brought it home.
On the day of the give away a class mate aske me if I had seen it because he wanted to have it and I was sweating bullets as I said no, trying not to sound too squeaky.
>>77346436
how the fuck would you smoke that?
I downloaded a car once
>>77344473
I download Chinese cartoons without paying for them.
>>77346602
This is where I was:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBCcpQx2HcY
>>77346517
Fuck that, when I was 16 everything was way more violent and everyone was threatening to stab people or shoot people over the smallest shit
I think it's because we didn't worry about jail or anything because we were under 18
>>77346626
>3 guys 1 hammer
Ukraine.
besides piracy and such (also, i went on to disney.com without my parents permission, it haunts me to this day)
i've also tried weed.
all in all, i've been very law-abiding, even if that's just a side effect to being a friendless shut-in
>>77346626
The guys were Ukrainian, I'm not sure where they were when they killed that old man
I propped up a downie as the boss of an improvised youth criminal organization when i was 12. One month in juvie
I regret nothing
>>77344473
Smuggled many times boxes of cigarettes from Russia and sold them to friends, 1 to 5 profit
>>77344473
>disagreed with a minority over the internet
>went 1km over the speed limit (in a 100k zone)
>dont report sales of secondhand items to the tax man
>dont mow my side of the council curb
>>77344473
I supported Donald Trump
nice try dataminer.
>>77344473
this man did nothing wrong
>>77346791
Jesus fucking savagery man, you need to go to rehab, otherwise you're a danger to others
I once stole a piece of candy when I was 8
Played airsoft with friends in a prohibited area and used fireworks after. (not allowed without special authorisation or on NYE)
Police came but only 3 of us who didn't have anything with them so they left again.
>>77346710
You burn it and crumble it in to a rizla bled
>>77345688
REPEAT OFFENDER WITH THE DIGITS TO PROVE IT!
>>77346710
Break it up in small pieces, it "flows" if it is hot.
>>77344473
No crime committed. Attempted to join Border patrol.
Mexican guy in polygraph says i committed murder and gang shit. I say no your making shit up. Calls me a liar and says fuck off.
T_T
Apparently it is ok to commit crime.
If I made up shit and said I stole shit or used drugs I would be hired.
I would be tested by a Mexican polygrapher and magically fail.
Fuck this gay earth.
>>77344473
I doubt they just called him Harry Potter, more like they called him Harry Potter over and over to torment him over an extended period.
>>77344473
Current girlfriend gave me a blowjob on a public beach. Idk, she gets off on "the thrill of being just that bit away from being caught".
Young kids walked over to us with my cock three quarters of the way down her throat about a week ago, 5 year old girl starts screaming. We bolt, as the parents come running over
Still paranoid about getting a visit from the party van after that incident.
>>77345646
Your flag looks like a retarded traffic light
I AM DREDD
YOU HAVE BEEN SENTENCED
>>77346915
hanging
>>77346912
firing squad and re-education camps
>>77346971
burnt alive
>>77346718
burnt alive
>>77346643
tolerance camps and diversification training
>>77346490
Free gibs
>>77346365
DEATH BY GUN
>>77346069
FREE GIBS
>>77345764
DEATH BY ELECTRIC ANUS EELS
>>77344652
>>77347265
The leaf has spoken.
>>77346190
I have that episode right here, good shit, oldschool.
>>77347265
>firing squad and reeducation camps
Boy oh boy I will learn a lot with that hole in my head and vital organs, thanks officer
>>77347265
>no isocube sentence
Fake Dredd confirmed
>>77347205
One of their first childhood memories will be of your dick, anon.
They probably have nightmares about it.
>>77347582
or maybe dreams
he just made them turbosluts
I killed an armed 17 year old Albanian "freedom fighter" in 1999 during the Kosovo War.
Not a crime if you don't get caught
I should of made this thread later so all the south Americans would co e out and share stories of how they chopped up some esse's and out them in plastic bags
>>77347582
>>77347621
>young children sleeping right now are thinking of my moist cock emerging from my girlfriends oesophagus
>>77347769
not a crime in their country though
>>77344473
I saw my sister shoplifting bubblegum from a convenience store and I didnt report her.
>>77344473
I stared at an underage ass one time.
>>77345496
you sound a truly despicable specimen. I hope you have cleaned up your act.
>>77347940
not a crime :^)
Chopped up some esse's and outed them in nylon bags
>>77344652
Based
>>77344473
Fuck yes. Bitches think they can call names without any backlash.
Dude has shown them whos the boss.
Should have mounted the whores and let them work the corner.
>>77347923
How many shekels for a pack of bubble gum
>captcha: select the storefront
I stole a plastic ring when I was six.
>>77344473
>>77344473
>shoplifting Saint Seiya toys as a very young kid
>street fighting
>>77347444
BE GRATEFUL I DIDN'T STICK YOU BACK IN YOUR LITTLE MISERABLE SHITHOLE OF A PENAL COLONSCOPY
>>77347506
AS YOU WISH. SEVENTY SEVEN MILLION THREE HUNDRED FOURTY SEVEN FIVE HUNDRED AND SIX YEARS IN THE AUSSIECUBES.
>>77347716
Death by firing squad, reanimation and reeducation, and a number of years spent janitoring for free in a mosque equivalent to the last two numbers on your next post
>>77344473
I was a pretty edgy teenager
I'm half the reason flash drives are locked up at walmart, i hit them pretty hard when the 128gb drives hit consumer shelves.
also sold a bit of MDMA for a few months.
my father is and has been a LEO for about 23 years
so i quickly stopped that shit and became a good boy
I "caused" the suicide of an ex-girlfriend and they tried to prosecute me but I got a Jewish lawyer and they couldn't do shit.
She basically kept sending me long emails about how the relationship failed because I'm "an emotionless Nazi-lover," and eventually I got sick of the emails and wrote back that the relationship failed because she was boring and one-dimensional and had a rancid vagina.
Went to court and everything. My email was read aloud. I don't feel bad about it so maybe I am emotionless.
>>77348211
>AUSSIECUBES
good fucking god Dredd, calm down
>>77348235
topkek
>>77347894
I hear it's an encouraged career choice over there
>>77344473
>>77346626
>>77346785
sauce please
>>77344473
That's why you go all the way and use acid bath to dispose of the evidence.
>>77346710
melt and mix with tobacco
then you smoke that
>>77344473
REEEEEEEEEE
I drove drunk and got caught. Never again.
>Shoplifted trading cards and sold them at my school
>Sold drugs
No because I am not a degenerate
>>77348386
Don't know where it is anymore. Maybe liveleak or heavy-r?
It's not that special though. The sounds are pretty gross. It's just ancient gore, really.
>>77348211
>Death by firing squad
thats how I got him
>>77346710
How can you not know that?
>>77346432
I guess those cigarettes were worth it LOL
>>77344473
Mostly just public urination, don't thinks thats a real crime though. More like an administrative offense.
I try to piss at and into lots of places, it is somewhat of a bucket list thing.
Oh boy where should I start?
Made a 80kg doll using a jacket, jeans, shoes, a helmet... filled it with books and stones. Threw it from a bridge down 20 meters onto the highway.(100km/h) The doll smashed a female police students car into pieces. I saw aftermath photos from the police. I also heard that she has been seeing a therapist because it caused her post traumatic stress. To this day, she doesn't dare to drive a car. I was 14 at the time. So I didn't do any time, but my friend got some shit for it. I regret it though.
Use google translator.
Proof: http://www.moss-avis.no/nyheter/kastet-tung-dukke-fra-bro-og-ned-pa-e6/s/2-2.2643-1.3977923
>>77346858
>I propped up a downie
What does that mean?
>>77348472
Lmao what trading cards were they?
>Japan the crime
I illegally downloaded an mp3 off napster back in 2000. Have not had a decent night of sleep since.
>>77348478
I think it's still on bestgore
I was surprised the guy lived for that long, human body is pretty amazing
>>77348476
>Australian
>Not a degenerate
Pick one crikey lad
>>77347923
REPARATION PAYMENTS
>>77347940
FREE GIBS
>>77348081
FREE GIBS
>>77348098
98 YEARS IN THE AUSSIECUBS
>>77348167
DEATH BY JEWISH FIRING SQUAD
>>77348183
COMMUNISM
>>77348203
3 YEARS IN THE AUSSIECUBES
>>77348231
LIFE IN THE AUSSIECUBES
>>77348235
FREE GIBS, GOOD GOY
>>77348397
MUST FEED HUNGARY WITH YOUR BULGE
>>77348463
63 YEARS IN AUSSIECUBES
>>77348472
DEATH BY NIPPLEKU
>>77348476
I CAN DO NOTHING MORE TO YOU THAT HAS NOT ALREADY BEEN DONE
>>77345411
You are the best and worst type of person.
>>77348753
>not filling a balloon with ketchup for the splatting head effect
That's the problem with you euros. No imagination.
>>77348472
whoa yamato that's pretty shameful.
>>77346589
>get number from dude in my lectures
>go to meet kid, buy 3g for £100
>gives it to me, wrapped in a takeaway menu
>bit suspicious but in public so i cant exactly check it
>take it home and weigh it, its nowhere near 3g, think it was like 1.2g
>since he is just 16 i figure he's just bad at dealing so I ring him
>straight to voicemail
>some of this 3g was for my friend, tell her I fucked it up
>guy she's fucking is some mental coke dealer who lives in my Uni town
>she asks me the name of the guy I bought from, I tell her and describe him
>the dude knows him
>I chalk it up as a loss and try to make do with what I've got
>fast forward 2 hours
>kid rings me, sounds scared to fuck
>"i had no idea you knew him, never would've got involved bruv etc, i was just fucked on coke wanted to make some easy money thought you were dull"
>turns out the guy threatened to fucking shoot him in the knees
Safe to say I didn't try to buy off him again.
>>77348912
Actually, we smeared ketchup on the doll, and it had just that effect. She thought someone jumped because the window was "bloody". Read the article. It clearly states that.
>>77346673
>animorphs
The memories oh my kek
>>77348912
>not secretly hiding the girl's sister inside the doll as a funny prank
>>77348828
Yeah, I agree, it took a suprisingly long time.
>>77346710
And you call yourself Canadian
>>77346858
Finish the Don story now!
Someone post the unfinished story of The Don
>>77344473
I stole a packet of salt n vinegar Walkers crisps from the school canteen.
>>77344473
I once accidentally smiled in public and someone called the cops and I was arrested and sentenced to 20 years in jail and I'm still bleeding from the asshole.
>Germany
Why is this allowed?
>Drug use as a minority
>drug trafficking
>fraud
>blackmailing
>intimidation
>hate crime
>torrenting meme lover 2 dawn of just.
>>77344473
I stole a shitty book from the library once
still haven't returned it
>>77349242
Because you need to pay for the "crimes" other Germans committed 70 years ago
>>77349280
Oh, and the carrying of an imitation firearm, carrying a knife isnt illegal here so dont know if it counts or not.
>>77348235
Post the email for eternal glory
>>77344473
shoplifting
drunken fight
taking drugs (weed, cocain)
street racing
walked over the street althought the traffic light was red
>>77348805
Yugioh and MTG
>>77344652
Oooh. OOOOH. Top kek.
>>77349137
>>77348644
My brother's the one that smokes the weed, not me. Only exactly 50% of canadians smoke weed.
But even he doesn't anymore after beating that guy half to death with a crowbar.
>>77349116
His face was so smashed up that he couldn't talk, just kind of gurgle
I remember he tried somewhat to shield his face with his arm so he still somewhat realized what was going on
The perpetrators managed to kill a bunch of people surprisingly, got caught trying to pawn off a cellphone stolen from a victim
Can't believe they got away with it all up until that point if they were stupid enough to do that
http://www.bestshockers.com/3-guys-1-hammer/ here's a link
>>77349299
>I stole a shitty book
Was it "Paying Taxes and Debt for Dummies"?
>>77344473
>stole gun toys from children
>attacked a kid with an airsoft gun
>threw a bottle from the roof on a guys windshield
>threw a puppy from the 2nd floor
>threw rocks at peoples windows
>>77349299
I used to steal the game magazine's when u was little, they always had the new ones and buying them from the shop was like £5.50 a pop
This is before internet, so I had no choice
>>77349427
Yeah remember the story from when it was relevant.
I've seen it a couple of times, but cheers. Might just save it for the next time a newfriend asks for it.
But still, it's not really that special. Only the sounds sort of got me.
>>77348894
the fuck is an aussiecub?
>>77349345
Germans were hard memers back then.
When I was 5 I stole a children book from the library and I still have it. I brag about it and I even showed it to my friends.
>>77349577
You'll now soon enough
>>77349394
Oh and calling a cop a cancerous faggot when i was drunk (was like 16 at the time).
I steal from Coles and Woolies at the self-serve checkouts. Sometimes I scan as few as every fourth item.
Fuck those companies right in the ass.
That's all though.
>>77344473
>drove 100kmh in a 40 zone (non residential)
>bashed up a car with a baseball bat (helping a friend with revenge)
>groped this autistic girl in grade 8 (she had a nice body)
>drinking in public
>stole the odd coin or cig out of cars at work (valet)
>drove while stoned
>sold some weed
>stole food when i worked in a burger joint
>ordered some cheese pizza
>>77349577
You get stuck in a small cube with a bunch of aussies who will rape you
in the anal
>>77344473
I used to """shoplift""" some biscuits at a small market near my house when I was 10. I quoted "shoplift" because I think the owner always saw me doing it.
>>77344473
He probably got called Harry Potter more than a few times.
>>77349769
Isn't this the commonplace for Brazilian chilluns? They go around stealing food because their families are poor?
I took a political party hostage with guns, I got 4 years in the end, only got out about half a year ago.
What the fuck happened to this country in the last 4 years man, even in the Netherlands everyone is now SJW cancer.
I've never knowingly broken any law.
In theory I might have loitered, whilst smoking outside the station, and I may have once smoked about 6ft past the fence for the train station boundary.
Feels delightful man.
>>77349408
Based Japan
>TIME TO S-S-S-S-S-STEAL
>>77349721
And they're still profiting because they have been able to cut back on staff and hours.
Fuck self serve.
>>77344473
I stole a book about Australian Spiders when I was in year 2. well my parents moved so I didn't get a chance to give it back..
Stole a hot wheels car from day care.
sex with a 15 year old when I was 16.
drunk alcohol under 18 years old.
Went 131mph in a 45mph posted speed limit zone
Shit was awesome!
>>77344652
he said crime
>>77345161
Forgery of any official documents is a fucking crime dumbass
>>77349434
I also peed in a bottle once and told a kid it was soda,he drank it
>>77344652
You have to leave your bedroom to do that you retarded liar
>>77345395
Yeah it's a crime
>>77349425
Okay I call bullshit.
You will never rival the mighty Straya and should just end yourself already.
>>77349949
>sex with a 15 year old when I was 16.
How is that illegal
wtf
Also congrats on being the only /pol/tard who got laid besides other than me
>>77349870
Where you in the news?
>>77344473
I remember reading about this case. The judge deducted 50 points from Gryffindor.
>>77349978
Fuck you it was only technically forgery and I'm not even fucking french so double fuck you
>>77344473
>Have you ever committed any crimes /pol/?
nice try politiet
Have a perry
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1vZ8LnZWCw
>>77350089
I think being French should be illegal.
"It is wrong to be French." - Al Bundy
>>77349398
I'm not supposed to but fuck it.
>I can write up a big elaborate email detailing exactly why the relationship failed, but you'd probably write that all off with "he's a meanie," so I'll make it short in list form.
>A. You have a child-brain. None of your perceptions of reality have been formed from life experience. 100% of your understanding regarding relationships comes from Buzzfeed articles.
>B. You are one-dimensional and have no personality (see child-brain.) If you were born deaf, dumb, and blind, you would have ended up as the exact same person.
>C. Your vagina fucking stinks. It wasn't like that in the beginning. Not everybody eats chicks out, so at least appreciate what you have and scrub it down every now and then.
>D. You have absolutely no character. You caused a motorcycle crash and fled the scene - if you can't see what is inherently wrong with that decision morally then you're more vapid that I thought.
And then she killed herself. I wouldn't have bothered writing anything to her but I seriously got like three or four emails per day for weeks.
>>77350032
I'd never want to be straya, everything I am saying is true habib
>>77346490
>pour eggs, milk, veggies, butter, piss and a lot more food into a 50l container
i was beginning to think you were gonna make a quiche or something
>>77344473
Only against nature.
>>77349769
You are lucky you didn't get caught and lynched and set in fire in the street while everyone records it on there phone
>>77344473
Yeah, I was a teenage delinquent.
>theft under 5000
>theft under 5000
>underage drinking
>public intoxication
>auto theft
>theft under 5000
>assault
>public intoxication
>theft under 5000
I was(still am basically) pretty poor as a child, but theft is a crime and crime is for niggers.
>>77350237
Hello :^)
>>77350155
Fucking savage.
10/10, do it again.
>>77349174
All right senpai, gotchu
Keep the (You)s rolling, uncle Mario needs to prepare the pasta.
Recap for those who missed the rest
>>77350147
mein nigga
>>77346365
>ID: PiruFunC
>That list.
I guess that's what you call having fun in Peru
Lol
>>77350147
>"It is wrong to be French." - Al Bundy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=414mrPgK5Yk
>>77344652
based Nederland
>>77346490
dont live next to a bike dealership if you didnt like it you stupid nigger
>>77344473
ran over a pallie with my Merkaava. get in line.
>>77344473
Engaged in martial sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.
>>77350188
So you are trying to tell us that your brother was a pot smoking lunatic who almost killed someone with a crowbar, exactly half the canadian population smokes weed, you don't even know what hash is and expect anyone to believe you?
I don't but if you do then you should consider not reproducing.
Holy shit it's actually a fucking felony what the fuck.
I just did a little photoshop, it's not fucking fair.
>>77350555
>he took the bait like a retarded cunt and the gods rewarded him with magnificent trips
Why is this allowed?
Jaywalked.
>>77348984
>3g is 100
Wew lad
Shits EXPENSIVE there isn't it.
>>77345318
that's a Public,Service, not a crime. Good job anyway
Several First degree murders
Possession and manufacture of destruction devices and weapons
>>77350555
FIRST OF ALL, NIGGERSTAN
the weed population thing was a joke
SECOND
My brother did indeed beat the shit out of another soldier with a crowbar, but the guy had it coming.
I knew hash is weed I just wasn't sure if it was muslim weed or what the fuck kind of weed it was. My mind immediately jumps to fucking hashbrowns okay?
>>77344473
Jesus fucking christ, FBI.
>>77350753
Please elaborate, did you arm or kill those Brits on your beaches?
>>77350619
>he took the bait
Is reading comprehension a frequent issue for you irl?
>>77350753
Flag checks out
>>77350885
>and he just took the bait again
lmao
Nothing trashy or nigger tier.
>stilling from place of work(but only because the employerwas unfair, long story)
never got caught.
>Drank so much I forgot to pay the bill. Never went to the place again and it closed eventually.
>Made hash oil (mostly for gf's mom who has multiple sclerosis but some went to us)
>Jaywalked a bunch of times
>Bought alcohol for minors
>Drank as a minor
>Pirated licensed software for a startup company
That's about the extend of what I've done
>>77349856
Yeah, I think so. I was poor back then.
>>77350265
Shit, man, in the south owners are ok with kids taking some biscuits.
But I admit, once I shoplift the wrong guy and he called the cops. I was scared shitless. It was my last time.
>>77350990
It's okay, brother. Germany stands with Israel.
Forever.
>>77345461
Pretty based
>>77344473
just illegal downloads.
that's about to end too because
xvideos has been banned here and it seems streaming movies is becoming harder.
i think i'll become a buddhist at some point to justify my wizardry.
>>77350619
No bait friendo. It's true, all of it.
This is a perfect thread.
>>77348984
You're a huge cream chugging homo and the worst type of Brit and so are your friends. Even if you're not a Paki, get the fuck out of my England you proto-chav faggot.
