Whats his name /pol/
>>76733090
download ten
>>76733090
Dan "10 year old boy best goy" Schneider
>>76733090
Dan 'Hymen Smasher' Schneider
>>76733090
Dan 'get into my candy van' Schneider
>>76733090
Stop calling him these names. Slander is a crime!
>>76734265
Poor little man, you dont even know where you are do you?
>>76734322
Yes I'm on the politically incorrect board, this has nothing to do with politics, zero, zip, zilch, nadda NOTHING at all!
>>76734265
>>76734488
Dan "hold her tighter she's a fighter" Schneider, we're just dedicating a fan thread to you. Don't worry.
>>76734488
Ok mr Paranoid personality disorder.
Dan "In the back of the trailer is where i'll assail her" Schneider.
>>76734265
>>76734488
don't get your jimmies rustled, eh
>>76733090
Dan "Big Dong @ Nick.com" Schneider
>>76734587
I'm not Dan
>>76734773
I don't appreciate these slanderous threads stop it it's a crime
>>76733090
HELLO FATSO
>>76734925
I'M Dan, thank you leafbro. ENOUGH of these threads people!! I'm sick and tired of you guys making assumptions about me and my female """coworkers""". Stop or I'll make you.....
>>76735256
awww what a cute pic! you seem really good with kids my daughter really really wants to meet you
>>76734925
HOLD ON
*shoots hockey puck*
HOLD ON EH
*drizzles syrup*
HOLD ON
*waits 10 years for chemo*
SO YOU ARE SAYING
*asks pronouns*
YOU ARE SAYING
*doesn't qualify for NHL playoffs*
SORRY
*visits the beer store*
YOU ARE SAYING
*extracts milk from bag*
WE
*buys car in Vermont*
WERE
*shitposts*
LEAFS AND SHIT
>>76735256
No you're not, you're just another troll trying to slander his name. Leave him alone he never did anything wrong
Dan "the Hymen Collider" Schneider
>>76733090
Dirty Dan the bun spoiler
>>76735350
Really now? hehehe, I would love to schedule a meet up. I'll fly her down, how's this evening sound? We'll make her famous.
>>76735562
STOP IT NOW
Dan "Work for me, need therapy" Schneider
>>76735658
Whatsa matter bitch boy? Wanna tussle with the man? I'll rip you apart just like that 7 year o-- just like the last guy who tried to stop Dan the Man Schneider
>>76735815
YOURE SLANDERING HIS NAME THIS IS A CRIME AND A VERY SERIOUS ONE! STOP IT NOW
>>76735562
That sounds great! she really wants to be a actor and she is a HUGE fan of yours. I'll contact you about the plane tickets.
>>76733090
whats the deal with this guy
>>76735979
He's a writer and the trolls here are trying to ruin his name because they're jealous of his success
>>76735948
Fantastic! What's her name? Cup size? Metrics? It's important for showbiz, please understand.
>>76735874
kiss my buns bitch boy
Some of you might remember Lori Beth Denberg, she was the fat chick from All That and Figure it Out. You know, the one that usually played loud and obnoxious characters. While she was an original cast member, she wasn't one of Dan Schneider's original picks. He had originally picked another girl to have that spot in the cast; a pretty, blond 11 year old. The girl's parents were reluctant to sign the contract to allow their daughter to be on the show, which was putting a hold on filming. Nickelodeon was getting really antsy about it though, but Schneider was dead set on having this girl (and "having" this girl). The studio eventually said enough is enough, and told him to forget about the girl. They instead insisted that because it was too late to start up auditions again, that he had to use Lori Beth, who pulled from the auditions they were doing for another show.
The thing about Dan "do cocaine off of that can" Schneider though, is that he couldn't forget about that little blond girl. He was so close to tappin' that, and it slipped out of his greasy sausage fingers. It pissed him off even more that he was saddled with that fat pig, Denberg. He remembered that and would take it out on her for her entire tenure at Nickelodeon. He would constantly write her the most annoying and unflattering characters, and generally treat her poorly while filming. That wasn't even the worst of it though, there was something far more sinister going on behind the scenes.
>>76736028
Hey Dan!
>>76733090
Dan "pedofile related joke" Schneider
Early on in the show's run, there was one sketch where Denberg was required to say a long list of items in a rapid fire manner. She kept flubbing the lines and laughing about it, which made Dan furious. He stopped filming for the afternoon and invited her, as well as Kenan and Kel to come to his office and rehearse in private. He offered the kids sodas, but had slipped roofies into Lori Beth's drink. Before long, she was out of it, passed out on Dan's couch. He then went over, spread her legs and signaled to the boys.
"Well, go ahead. She's all yours."
Kenan and Kel just looked confused.
"Jesus Christ, spit roast that white bitch! FUCK HER!"
Kel, raised in a strict christian home, was appalled by the idea. Kenan though, wasn't too popular with girls because of his weight and was all too willing to go along with it.
Schneider tried his best to bargain with Kel, saying that if he went along with his wishes, that he would make the kids stars. He'd get them their own show, movies, anything.
Kenan asked if he could get them on Saturday Night Live, of which Dan guaranteed.
Elated, Kenan then begged Kel "Come on, man! Let's split this bitch in two! Kel, however, still refused. As punishment, Schneider locked the door and made him watch in disgust as his friend went to town on the passed out girl, while Dan masturbated in the corner.
"Your going to regret this, son." the fat pervert said as he cleaned his dick with the girl's shirt. "Kenan here is going to be a star, and you'll be nothing. A washed up nobody who's lucky if he gets a role in a TV movie."
>>76733752
Dan "Si pasa la docena, me juego la condena" Schneider
>>76736028
you give a very "shilly" impression
>>76736152
Her name is Sophie i honestly have not done any measurements there but i think something is starting to bud.. hope you can work with that?
For the record, thanks to Schneider pulling some strings, Kenan did end up getting a role on Saturday Night Live, and has been on that show for years. Kel, on the other hand, can barely get any work, only landing roles in SyFy original movies. To this day, Schneider makes sure of that. While the two did have a movie and their own spin-off show, he tried his best to keep Kel out of it. He insisted that the kid was a one note actor and wasn't funny. Nickelodeon though, loved him and he was popular with audiences, so they made sure he stayed.
>>76736167
Nope. You're Dan.
>Hi dan.
>>76736158
DELETE THIS
>>76736167
I'm not Dan
>>76736360
Huh?
>>76736361
Alright I'm thinking a Nickelodeon special called Sophie 'n' Me, it's going to star your little girl and a wonderful young man named Trayvon. He's going to teach her about puberty, being the older boy and all. I will cameo.
>>76736863
Huh, that does not sound like something they would show over here.. but what do i know h-hah i will send her off tonight ill bring her something cute to wear.
>always a fucking leaf with the metashilling
just stop it's old
>>76733090
Dan "Holder her tighter; she's a biter" Schneider.
>>76733090
Dan "take your foot off and give it to me, I mean your shoe off.. I mean- No, I was right the first time" Schneider
>>76733090
>summerfag thread
just kill yourselves already
>>76736984
It's showbiz baby! Don't worry, what could go wrong?
>>76734265
how are you in every dan thread?
>>76733337
>not Dan "the Hymen Divider" Schneider
Roastie Wrecker
>>76737216
hahaha you are probably right im just a stupid sexist fucking white male i hope you have fun together! she already started packing :)
>>76733337
best one
>>76734488
Actually the "politics" are those of the entertainment industry and involve high up executives looking the other way at or actively obfuscating their top earners crimes against children. Seems like politics are very involved.
Also, fuck you, fag.
His name is Dan "i placed the plot holes inside her" Schneider.
>>76733090
Dan 'With shoes, you lose' Schneider
Dan did nothing wrong
>>76737609
fucking kek
>>76735256
>>76734925
Why are Canadians such shitheads most of the time.
EVERY
SINGLE
FUCKING
DAN
SCHNEIDER
THREAD
Has CANADIANS complaining about it. What the fuck???
>>76738039
It's CanaDan.
He wants to become a meme.
>>76737609
Underrated
>>76733090
Dan "Follower of Sunnah" Schneider
>>76738375
Even if that were true that would be a horrible horrible idea for him.
>>76737286
Check the catalog
>>76737570
Dan was never involved in that
>>76738375
No I don't, I just want to end this slander and for a while the mods agreed with me and deleted these threads
>>76738666
Well why are you even in Canada in the first place, Lucifer?
>>76738761
I work here
Dan "Roses are ran, violets are blyder, you hold her down I'll put it inside 'er" Shneider.
>>76737286
He's a paid shill
>>76740173
No I'm not
Dan "if it won't fit use spit" Schneider
Dan "get in the van" Schneider.
