Any tips on how to get a job?
>31 yrs old
>about to become homeless
>no savings, no work experience, no car, no friends or social contacts
>degrees in mathematics and cs
How do I survive for the next 48 hours and what steps would you take in my position to find any job? I can basically do anything, I'm not picky, but my CV is a blank page and it's difficult (probably) to explain a 10 year gap of no employment.
join the army faggot
>>75736131
French Foreign Legion
>>75736165
army cutoff is 29
>>75736131
>31 yrs old
>no work experience
Wtf man, what the hell you were doing for a past decade?
>>75736131
>31 yrs old
>no work experience
How have you gotten by for so long?
Just apply in the hospitality industry. They have a high turnover rate all the time so there'll always be someone needing a position to fill.
As for work experience, make something up. My sister got a job by telling her employer she worked at the local market every Sunday, but never had.
Your degree is practically worthless, seeing that work gap shows employers that you may know nothing about your profession.
You probably have no networks so youre fucked in that part.
The only option you have is to kill time yourself.
>degrees in mathematics
So 100k starting was a meme?
>>75736131
explain the gap to us you zombie cuck
Write a fake resume. Get a disposable phone and pretend to be your first reference if you can afford a disposable phone. Otherwise just lie. You'll be surprised how often it works. At my current job I lied about everything. Hadn't worked in five years. No real references. Just prayed they wouldn't check it out. And they didn't, and here I am.
>>75736319
How is CS worthless?
>>75736131
>30 years old
>no degree
>pretty much no experience
>no fucks given
You have to understand that at some point you become absolutely unemployable.
>>75736131
Hoe do you get to 31 without any job experience
>>75736131
Become a hooker
Oh wait, you're not a woman
You're fucked.
Become a meet and hone your shitposting ability. You could become great anon. Don't let your dreams be memes.
>>75736131
Get a spray tan and stand outside Home Depot.
>>75736411
I did the same 4 years ago when I was done being a NEET. I applied for a huge multinational corporation. They didn't check anything, hired me and even send me to the US sometimes.
I always thought whats the thing I will do all my life going to be and it turns out its accounting.
>>75736411
Whats your job?
>>75736131
Are there staffing agencies in Australia?
>>75736769
>>75736411
You guys are making this shit up aren't you?
>>75736131
Just lie anon. Everyone does anyway.
>>75736463
cs can be instantly exported anywhere across the globe to people who make 2$ an hour.
it is inherently one of the most depreciable jobs in existence
>>75737066
Yeah, like Greece with it's accounts.
>>75736891
yup feel free to sign up and get spammed with junk mail and fake jobs
>>75736961
the american story sounds real. I got away with that for mid level jobs, but never good ones. fwiw I'm 28 and have never had more than a mediocre jb. they only checked on HIGH level ones
the pole sounds full of crap tho
>>75737232
staffing agencies pay companies to increase their mailing lists so that they can more easily meet open company policy requirements that they use to show that they opened the job to X amount of applicants, finding no one, so they can then hire imigrants or internally.
I've literally NEVER met someone who found a job through a website.
I've been a nursing aide for 9 years. Decent pay, most places give you good insurance and as long as you show up and aren't slapping the grannies, it's kind of hard to get fired. Some homes will offer you a job for so many months in exchange for getting certified through them. Meet a lot of interesting people and occasionally there are some reasonably hot nurses, too. And CNAs are in demand in a lot of places. It doesn't have to be a career, but it's a good place to be while you figure out where you're going.
>>75737399
america's youth are wiping asses, then using the tax money to pay for the nursing homes, which supply jobs to the youth, where they....
man, what a future!
>>75737546
OP didn't ask for glamor, he asked for a job. Guy sounds desperate, and I offered him an alternative. Also, who said anything about taxes? Are you ok?
>>75737399
That's great, and? After you've wiped asses for 10 years, who's going to hire you with such relevant experience?
Dead end jobs are called that because working them will bring you NOTHING.
>>75736131
Retail highers anybody and i work overnight so i make more and dont have to deal with anybody
>>75736272
Thus guy ^
>>75737640
>who's going to hire you with such relevant experience?
I've actually made loads of professional connections just from taking care of useful peoples' parents. I choose not to take them because I enjoy what I do.
>Dead end jobs are called that because working them will bring you NOTHING
>>75737399
>It doesn't have to be a career, but it's a good place to be while you figure out where you're going.
Again, OP asked for a job. If he asked for a girlfriend, would you think he meant a wife?
>>75737640
When your most desperate for money your more willing to work
>>75737132
Nice meme pal ;-)
>>75736259
He's Australian. They wouldn't take him though, it's a small professional army so they can afford to be picky.
>>75736844
Security at a Microsoft datacenter
>>75736226
he say join army faggot... not join faggot army, but take what you can get.
>>75736226
Every ex-soldier without a future tries. In just the francophone world they get far more applicants than they will ever have need for.
A friend of my dad's joined and it was not easy. He basically got in because he was in the "recces" in South Africa and fought in Angola, which apparently they liked.
>>75737876
how is it a meme? most fortune 500s are doing just that
silicon valley WAS the exception, and silicon valley just laid off 15% of its entire workforce.
SOME CS stuff pays well. senior develpers, of which there is ONE, tends to pay as much as a doctor before tax. but that's also a global workforce in terms of competition. or senior security types. I meet tons of both, and 70% of them are foreign, here, in america. how did they get here, I wonder?
>>75738024
ayy security bro
what company you working for ? im workin for G4S
>>75738388
Nothing personal but I'd rather not say
>>75738572
Really? what would saying the name of the company cause you? nothing dont be so paranoid.
>>75738653
What a baby.
>>75738745
yeah idk why people are so paranoid ill even take it a step further i work for G4s security in UTAH not like anybody is going to track me down magicly and even if they did what would they say? HE BROWSES THE INTERNET WHAT A SHOCK!
>>75738860
They'd probably see you being a baby and feel bad for you.
>>75736131
just do online work
odesk
rarejob
remote staff
its for the ultra poor, but if you try hard enough, you can earn from it.
>>75736131
I have a similar history, except I'm older and I don't own any degree. The classic "good for nothing guy" with no experience confirmed (although I worked since I was 9 non stop in several informal jobs).
But I'm a self taught learner. I learned 3 languages, fluently. I write books in the these three languages. I play multi instruments for 20 years in erudite level. I program in 6 languages. I perform comics in several events.
I lived on the streets once because I couldn't pay the rent. Sleeping in a hard cold floor with an empty belly can be revealing sometimes.
I realized that there are two kinds of people in this world: the ones that create something and the ones that live to work and buy things that are created.
Both can be happy, both can have a hard time. But in my case, I realized that my entire life I was "preparing" myself to be a creator, while I didn't spent the time preparing myself to be a buyer.
So I decided to be a creator. I create music, jingles, games, comics. First, of course, I got a shitty job to get out of the streets. Then I got a crap computer and then I starting creating in my free time.
In less than a year I was living with my creations, happy than I ever could be.
The employer market say that "I'm useless", but I said myself that I'm useful.
>>75736131
just lie and say you were doing some [retracted] work for the government. no one ever questions [retracted] work. its too wet. trust me, i have done some [retracted] work myself. it raises eyebrows but if they continue to ask, just remind them of OPSEC
>>75736354
Yes
It was 300k
>>75736131
just mug flashy looking people m8. If the amounts are small and you make yourself out to be disheveled enough people wont mind.
> Pro-tip: Say thank you afterwards.
Hopefully they will reflexively say something like "no problem" and they are already psychologically invested as a partner in the transaction.
Then buy a big 20kg bag of rice.
Live off that.
>>75736131
Not sure if it will work for you. I dropped out from university at 1st year and then was a fribble for almost 3 years. Then I paid 9k£ for 26 week hairdressing craftsmanship. Worked with LFW, several movie companies and artists while in London. 2 and a little years into profession and I make 200$ a cut minimum (15 minute job), rarely do those, average is 350-450$ for a cut, 1/4-1/3 of hair-jobs is 750-850$. Work is a big fun.
The library is closing in 12 minutes, guess I'll sleep behind a restaurant tonight and try visiting some churches tomorrow maybe they will donate a blanket.
I've noticed sitting in a park today that people in general are invisible. There's a bubble around everyone and who they are with, and nothing exists outside of that sphere of attention. Not a single person looked at me even thought I sat there for 8 hours and hundreds passed by, but they didn't look at each other either. Is being a ghost any better than being dead.
>>75736272
Something happened inside my head and I struggled since then to be around other people or tell lies to make them happy or fit in. They would ask me something and I would tell the truth and they would get upset or mad with me. It got progressively worse until I was alone and unable to support myself after graduating.
I remember the moment clearly in early September 2007 because my eyes became hyper sensitive outside and I saw a burning red light for a few seconds before collapsing. When I woke up again everything I had cared about before lost meaning to me.
Maybe it's brain damage? A tumor would have killed me by now. Either way, I was evicted from my family home today. My parents died in a road accident in 2012 and the bills kept piling on.
I spent the past decade reading books, but they all seemed to be filled with lies also. I want to be a good person, so I hoped there was a way to convince someone to give me enough money for a job so I could eat/sleep somewhere. It seems like being disingenuous or lying is the popular opinion on how to proceed, that's not really for me.
I have two coins in my pocket and no phone.
I might start walking north, the nights are getting cold here and I'd like to see the country.
>>75740449
You're fucking weird
>>75739418
the term is redacted, you fucking cum-guzzling niggerdick-worshipping faggot
>>75740449
At least post pictures of your journey
Well, first of all. There is no way to secure a job in 48 hours unless you have an in with whoever runs the company. You are going to become homeless or have to squat where you live, so brace for that.
The best way to plug up gaps in your work history is to look up businesses that have gone belly-up and pretend you worked for them.
10 years is a long time. Lots of businesses die during this time and it's possible to single a few out, find out everything you can about it, and fill in the rest with bullshit. Need a reference? Look up whoever the owner or manager was and list the business's former phone number. Lie lie lie, but keep your lies credible.
>>75740449
I am thinking about moving and opening a barbershop in Sud-Afrika, Aus or New Zealand. What are your political leaning? Where do you live? There supposed to be some charities and organizations that put people off the streets. You have two degrees for fucks sake.
>>75736131
Can you donate plasma?
It's an easy $70 a week (gas/lunch money)
Outside of that, in the US we have a shitty newspaper called "The Employment Guide," where you can scan jobs such as Cold calling businesses to sell printer supplies
>bonus of no drug test and stringent interview process where you had to read out loud a paragraph written by an 11 year old.
Telemarketing company that frequently has to change its name because they get sued and shut down so much
>extremely competitive starting wage
>absurd 30% commissions
And many others. Godspeed brother
>>75740449
join an abo tribe and learn their ways. they are also loser neets like yourself
>>75741382
>Can you donate plasma?
>It's an easy $70 a week (gas/lunch money)
wew thanks, i didn't know they compensate
>>75740449
Kill some normie and take his money. If you get caught you get to sleep in jail.
Can't you do that centrelink thing?
>>75741382
They don't pay for blood or plasma in Australia.
>>75742321
Yeah, go see centrelink. They'll put you up in a hotel for atleast a night and then go see the housing department in the morning.
>>75740449
I'm not saying this to try to mess with you, because I actually appreciate all the aussie banter on /pol/
But I've had multiple homeless people say very similar things.
>Working the register at CVS
>Homeless local walks in and declares -
>"I used to be rich, handsome, and smart. But one day god turned the skies red, tore the cloud apart, and a beam of light hit me between the eyes, and ever since then I've been crazy.
>Leaves a trail of piss that was soaking in his pants.
The other stories have clouds going red, but I don't remember them with any greater detail. The scary part is these filthy fucking homeless, will have tiny bursts of some cognoscente thought, but they always fade back into insanity.
>>75743073
I have an uncle that went fucking INSANE-O cuckoo, it isnt something in the family that I have to worry about since it was self-inflicted with years of heavy drug use. Random screaming, talking to self, how he used to own the city and houses but the banks are just trying to stop him with paperwork and the phone calls with the president. Seeing shit like that just cements my thoughts that a lot of these mental health problems arent going to be able to be dealt with any time soon.
Like what the hell, where would a team of psychologists even begin on a patient like this. And this is far from the worst
https://youtu.be/jzysxHGZCAU?t=2285
>>75743911
Yeah they're way too fried to ever be saved.
>>75743911
I don't think that video guy is crazy, I think he's trying to make a point with his recordings.
>>75745478
yeah I'm aware of the message he's trying to send in regards to mass surveillance. If you click on the link it'll take you to the part of the video where he's recording some crazy chick
In Ukraine you could have just said you owned small business and it was unregistered.
>>75736131
At least you have degrees. I am a HS dropout working at Walmart for the rest of my life and at $15/hr, this is the best I will ever have it.
I, unfortunately, will have to anhero of I lose said job because I won't be able to find another one that pays remotely to what I am paid now.
>>75736131
I would find a sleeping bag and a trash can size plastic bag to help keep it watertight. As far as food you eat the greens that animals touch, water is free from the fountains and public toilets. Even if you find it disgusting right now, you're gonna have to eat some insects to get all your protein and vitamins.
Let me know if you want more tips. It's normal to be homeless in Norway unless you're part of the left-wing elite.
>>75746338
wow. i thought everyone there had ps4s in their home.
>>75746411
>philippines
You don't know anything about Norway, hombre. It's all propaganda. A lot of people are dying and suffering in my country. Only Certifieds are allowed to have a home and it's impossible to get unless you have a family history of leftism.
>>75736131
can do everything?
> Sry, you are over qualified.
The ventilation of commercial buildings, especially print media, hotels, emergency services, is key to staying alive during the winter season. Free tip from one homeless bum to another.
>>75740449
Ok real Talk here.
I work with mentally ill people in a home for the chronic ill with no Chance to reintigrate. I am more of a social worker and not a caretaker i am familiar with the medical history of around 70 people of all ages.
Your Story fits about half of theirs. The other half were abused and or drug related.
Go see a doctor tell him everything but don't lie and try to seem worse than you are but say that you cannot take care of yourself. Say you don't want to take anti depressants but you want to talk to a shrink. If hes a good Doc he will send you to Evaluation. Don't lie to the Docs and take the meds they give you. Sometimes they will make it worse until they found out what works for you. There are Institutions for mentally ill people that cannot take care of themselves. Say you want to get a room there.
Good luck ausbro. With luck it's a temporary thing. If not make the best you can and respect the people that work there.
>>75736131
learn how to code guy
also a math major
got a shitty job at warehouse lifting boxes
got food stamps
learn to code in python and sql
interviewing at companies now
will probably be making around 80k
