>be me
>apex gang looking nigger breaks into my home during the night.
> bash him
>now have a criminal record against me for assault and have to do 150 hours of community service at salvos
wtf is this bs? they even originally wanted me to pay for the robbers medical expenses
who represented you? dennis denuto?
>>74941278
Lock in A, shit that never happened please Eddie.
That's why you don't report shit to the police. You should've just incapacitated him and tossed him somewhere on the street. Not your problem.
If its true at least you get the self satisfaction of knowing you did something in the end. 150 hours will fly by, most of the people working at the salvos you can staunch anyways. They are cunts who couldnt get a job for the life of them or weird jew worshipping christ cucks. Just rack some cool second hand shit and peeve on the hipster chicks that roll through all day.
>>74941278
Bulllllllshiiiiiiit. This post would be way angrier. Maybe more caps and exclamation marks.
>>74941278
Hard to even imagine what that feels like. My only concern with break-ins is blowing out an eardrum.
Sometimes I think to myself, is a tv and jewelry really worth a lifetime of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE? But then I remember that yes, it really is. One less criminal who will never victimize another white family.
>>74941410
>You should've just incapacitated him and tossed him somewhere on the street
Actually this is a really good idea.
What's the guy going to do? Go the police like "hey I broke into this guys house and woke up in the street with a bump on my head"
That's like reporting stolen drugs.
>>74941278
Should've killed him and buried him 6 feet under an animal corpse buried 6 feet under the surface.
>>74941582
>is a tv and jewelry really worth a lifetime of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
I'd pay a Tv and jewelry to get rid of mine. Feels bad man.
>>74941278
>be me
>apex gang looking nigger breaks into my home during the night.
>shoot him
>be glad I have wood floors so I don't have to rent a carpet cleaner to get rid of the stains and deal with that whole mess
>>74941278
>not having a dart gun that shoots cunts with Irukandji syndrome
>Irukandji syndrome is produced by a small amount of venom and induces excruciating muscle cramps in the arms and legs, severe pain in the back and kidneys, a burning sensation of the skin and face, headaches, nausea, restlessness, sweating, vomiting, an increase in heart rate and blood pressure, and psychological phenomena such as the feeling of impending doom
>The sting is moderately irritating; the severe syndrome is delayed for 5–120 minutes (30 minutes on average). The symptoms last from hours to weeks, and victims usually require hospitalisation.
imagine that, some cunt breaks in you throw this jellyfish at him, he think wtf, he cant actually see the jellyfish, then he feels the sting and fall to the ground in pain, you call the cops and tell him your pet jellyfish fucked up some cunt and he is gonna die soon.
said asshole now has weeks in hospital feeling impending doom, take him to court and bring a fish bowl, and threaten to throw it at him.
seriously though, you can capture these things, or go grab some of that plant that paralyses you. just keep it next to your bed, and if they come it throw a plant at them and they will collapse just from touching the leaf.
or keep a big tank of spiders and threaten to throw them at him. it'll work.
Personally I have a bee hive, it sits between my backyard and front door (middle of two entry points) i managed to move it and place it on this fitness board thing (you stand on the board and it vibrates you) and their hive grew, now if someone breaks in I press this button which vibrates the machine and it also sprays this shit which makes bees violent around the backdoor and front door. then I hide in my bathroom for like an hour. im yet to test it, but im excited for the day I do. plus I get free honey
Did some research...
They're literally not convicting these guys for some pretty horrific crimes. OPs story at least has the potential to be true. Literally researching the likelihood of apex gang activity in my area, it looks like if they want to fuck you up the system will let them.
>>74941278
Go break into his house and let him bash you. Even Stevens
>>74943433
"sir, did you throw the jellyfish at the suspect?"
"Oh no, little Timmy here can be a real rascal. Likes to escape the aquarium and roam the house at night. How he does it i don't know."
>>74944737
just say you were running away throwing shit at him trying to slow him down.
>implying some low iq nog is gonna remember the details after he experiences constant impending doom for a few weeks
youd be fine.
>>74943433
Young man
You need a girlfriend
>>74941278
>apex gang looking nigger
A what? hahahaha
I'll take my home is my castle, Alex, for $500.
That and a .22 magnum. Shoot him and he will be severely wounded but not so much that he can't run away. Only to succumb to his wounds somewhere far away.
Cops say, oh well, more gang related violence.
>>74945399
I have a gf, she doesn't care, I live on like 5 acres, ive tried killing these bees 5 different times, they just keep coming back
>burning down the tree didn't work
>concreting the tree sump didn't work
>getting in 3 different exterminators did not work
ive spent 2500 trying to kill the fuckers, they just keep coming back,
so now I have put them to use and placed them near my house, I put them on the fitness thing because I found it on the side of the road and thought it would be funny as fuck. it was. gf doesnt care, her and her dumb friends think its funny, I always do weird shit like this, they love it.
again dont know if that scent stuff works, I assume it will. but im sure just shaking the cunts up will be enough.
Don't talk to the Police.
Semi related and also a really good, really informative video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc
>>74941278
Lol bullshit
>>74945642
>A what? hahahaha
Apex is the nigger gang here
>>74941278
just dismember the body and toss it somewhere in the outback.
>>74941681
>That's like reporting stolen drugs.
You'd be surprised how many nigs in my part report stolen drugs or a prostitute that scammed them
>>74941278
what area senpai?
PS that shits gay. our legal system is set up to protect scumbags
>>74941278
Come to Texas and you can shoot that nigger in the head the second he set foot inside your house
>>74941278
>robbers medical expenses
>australia
Uh huh.
>>74941278
I don't think this actually happened to you but regardless Australia's self defense laws are terrible. If only the Coalition weren't such cucks.
>>74941423
There truly is a silver lining to every cloud
>>74941423
100% this.
>>74945735
we dont have a bill of rights or a 5th amendment
>>74941278
just burn down melbourne and maybe syndey. i keep telling you guys gasoline is cheap
>>74946031
It's still and interesting video.
I dont get why we cant just kill them.
>>74941582
Are you me? This is literally the only reason I would hesitate to shoot someone who broke in. That and I don't want to clean up the mess, and I think somebody dying in your house makes it harder to sell. I think if a white person broke in, I'd threaten him with the gun first to scare him away. But if a nigger got into my house, I'd shoot it and go back to sleep.
>>74946119
animal cruelty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzB5PQiXwrk
the greens would hunt you down and kill you
>>74941371
Top class bantz
>>74946353
>Greens
>Doing anything that involves exercise
Why don't you fuckers lie what happened, just say he tipped over furniture and deny you did any kind of self defense , they can't prove anything and he wasnt supposed to be at your place.
>>74943433
What happens if the dude is alergic to bees? They're gonna charge you with murder via bee.
>>74941410
Slav wisdom
>>74945712
I'd call you a marvelous engineer. Too bad you had to kill so many bees before understanding that cooperation exceeds competition.
>>74946612
>charge me with murder
>because some bee's living on my property killed a guy
not gonna fly
once he dies I disconnect the exercise thing and chuck it on my junk pile. and just leave the hive there.
>>74946784
Bee is no different to a dog. If your dog kills a man who breaks into your house, you're still at fault.
>>74941278
>letting niggas live
>calling the cops
Are you retarded? Who is going to know he came to your house?
![o-better-call-saul-facebookjpg-444599_1280w[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Yj0s6oO.jpg "o-better-call-saul-facebookjpg-444599_1280w[1].jpg")
>>74941278
OP had the wrong attorney.
www.bettercallsaul.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqnHtGgVAUE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPd67CEL54E
>>74946840
not my bee's
and i have letters from the council proving ive tried to kill them 5 times.
if I trained them to kill then yea id go to jail.
as for the scent that makes them attack, i just claim its air freshener, which it is.
>>74946840
You're not at fault if someone has an allergic reaction to your dog.
>>74946946
>Keep it fresh, nigga!
*spray spray*
>>74941278
So you don't make it clear... You fucked them up when they were breaking in? Or you assaulted them later on the street or somewhere? Big difference.
>>74947135
pretty much yea, they will be confused at first, but then the will hear the swarm.
I need to sleep with earplugs sometimes because I can hear this buzz from the hive, its fucked.
they dont attack unless you fuck with them, even then if you just kill one mid air with bug spray like 3 come after you. you can sit next to the hive and not do anything and they let you go.
I could probably train them.
make them hunt down niggers and gingers
>>74947344
>I could probably train my swarms of bees to do my bidding
This is a dark path your heading down son. Make sure you get a good costume before you start, and a decent name.
>>74947440
costume will be pic related.
need a name now
>>74941681
>what's he going to do
Come back and kill you
burn your house
steal your possessions
gorilla nigga rape your daughter/wife/sister if applicable
kill your animal
[all of above and much much more]
Niggers don't take to kindly to being beaten
They managed to guilt trip enough people to get benefits and an apology from our cuck premier.
>>74947511
"I'm the A-lister, the buzz follows me where ever I go."
>>74941278
So you got charged for bashing a criminal who broke in?
Wtf about self defence?
>>74943433
EXTREME AUTISIM
>>74941410
Thats why you kill him and bury the body. Worst case scenario is self defense and improper disposal of a corpse.
Literally anyone in my house at night is getting buckshot to the belly then decapitated.
I do not give a fuck
>>74947180
>> you will always be white
Thank god
>>74941410
most people nowadays live in appartment blocks so this is valid only for anons living in houses, otherwise spot-on course of action
>>74946237
This is what a pussy country weve become
>>74947969
>boring cunt detected
>>74947511
Nigger Stinger
>you will never american
>you will never be legally obligated to shoot an intruder
>you will never feel the freedom of paying $900 for a visit to the doctor
>you will never be harassed be 14 year olds telling you to vote for a communist over the phone
Why even live at this point?
>>74941278
you are a bad goy. next time be a good goy and let him rape your pussiboy
>>74948258
why did you greentext that?
Just dust him with scopolamine and assfuck him all night.
That'll teach him.
>>74941423
Community service is very rewarding. I do it voluntarily.
>>74943433
Save some Lives, Bin Those Hives!
>>74947511
African-B-gone
>>74947511
The Pain
>>74948811
ive tried, they dont leave.
im stuck with them, it must be destiny, I must become the bee man.
>>74948885
i like this one
Is The Hornet or Yellow Jacket taken?
I like both of those. Do you know what kind of bee were fucking with here?
>>74949009
The Pain is a Metal Gear Solid character desu
>>74949431
So this is how the cobra unit started. Fuckin Kojima
>>74949123
nah, never really looked into it, Id say they are just european honey bees.
I have noticed the wasp population growing though. I have a feeling there is going to be a war in my backyard soon.
Wasps have stung me before, where the bees levae me alone, I feel like I should help the bees and put a bug zapper near the wasp next (good 200m away)
>>74949563
Honey bees won't attack for no reason because they aren't hunting prey. Just start a garden or something to promote the bee population and they will destroy the wasps when they inevitably intrude on bee territory.
>>74941278
>Don't be American
>Go to Jail
>>74941582
>Sometimes I think to myself, is a tv and jewelry really worth a lifetime of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
This is why legislation against suppressors is bullshit. Liberals go out of their way to defend nigger criminals and commit as much harm as possible against the victims. All because some nogunz faggots and lying Jewlywood kikes have convinced soccer moms that you're left with a Bond weapon that sounds like a blowdart instead of just a less deafening thud.
>https://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-congress/house-bill/3799/cosponsors
>71R 2D
Democrats need to be completely removed from power, forever, by whatever means necessary.
>>74949881
thats gay then. ill let the wasps win and use them to kill the coons who steal wood from my property
>Reads story
>Looks at flag...
>>74950131
Play nice with the bees. Bees are your friends. Wasps are fucking shit-tier and they will attack you as well.
>>74941278
>>74943433
You really made me have a genuine long laugh over this shit.
Australians are a gift from heaven.
>>74948399
>>74943433
What the fuck are you a Druid?
>>74941278
So wait, did he actually report himself for getting in your house?
>>74941278
Some black people broke into our house because my step sister is retarded and advertised to everyone that they went on vacation.
So like 4 black people broke in while I was cooking dinner and I ended up shanking 3 of them.
The families tried to sue me but again this is the land of the free so they all got arested
