>be aussie
>get home from work
>in hot sun all day
>everyone is sunburned or tanned
>go on internet
>downloads porn
>120KB internet speed
>takes 30 minutes to download a video
>unzips pants
>dick is out
>eyes glued to screen with dick in hand
>spider bites tip of penis
>penis is swollen can't masturbate
>opens 4chan
>takes 5 minutes to open the browser
>shitpostcitybitch.png
>goes to sleep feeling proud
>gets bit by another spider in sleep
>wakes up feeling like shit
>decides to play vidya games
>a lot of vidya games are banned here
>games cost A$120
>can't play vidya games
>decides to go outside
>everything outside can kill you
>can't go outside
you're the descendant of british criminals
you're whole country is trash
>>74926519
actually i spend most of my free time hoping for total global economic collapse
>>74926628
not true..we had prisons there but many settlers also
or do you think we threw men and women in the same cells lol?
we even let criminals get away with their crimes if they worked on the boats going to the new world
america.
you both are made up of the best and brightest and the lowest dregs of british society lol
>>74926628
actually my ancestors are explorers and expats but alright
I don't like this place very much though
>>74926794
atleast i dont live on a fucking island
>>74926706
>tfw it was supposed to crash in september
>it didnt
>>74926706
have you seen this?
basically us when shit hits the fan
>>74926519
Your mistake is thinking Australians give a single fuck about anything
>>74927010
I can't believe it took me 22 years to finally embrace the zero give a fuck lifestyle
>>74926969
haven't seen it but looks like the way i used to live so lol
>>74926895
Well if you did then your country wouldn't be 60% white now would it.
>>74926519
>Be Austrilian
>try to drink vodka but it just pours onto the ceiling.
>>74926519
>Implying its hotter over there
>>74927169
>be Australian
>country is the cleanest on the planet because you just let go of trash outside
>>74927169
no idea what you're talking about
>>74927590
Fuck now I have to get a stepladder and a rag because my soda just fell onto the ceiling. Thanks asshole.
>>74926519
>Be Canadian
>Wake up to my wife being brutally gang raped by non-binary African-Canadian gentleman
>So progressive
>Get out of bed and drink a cup of hot maple syrup before stepping outside to go to work
>I'm only halfway to work and it's 40 bellow 0
>Ohwell.png
>Cut open my tauntaun to stay warm
>"S-s-s-s-so Progressive" I say
>Get to work
>Each one of my co-workers is an Indian
>Get fired for being the only white guy and not promoting diversity
>Go to bar afterwards to get some incredibly gamy chicken wings and 50 year old stale beer that tastes like ethanol
>Apologize to everyone inside
>Hang out with moose friends for about an hour
>Go home
>Kiss my wife's son on the forehead
>Praise Allah before going to bed
Only in Canada
>>74927739
Screencapped, that one was good.
>>74927895
I swear to Christ if you post that on reddit I'm going to take a B17 bomber and drop a nuke on Canada.
>>74926628
Eh, we can't talk shit
> The North
Made up of Quakers and Puritans. The reason form them being there is that the British just didn't want them.
> The South
Australia 2.0. (For the most part)
>>74926969
I almost didn't see this because it had the fag from Twilight in there but he was surprisingly good and the movie was fantastic.
>>74926519
It's winter here faggot. Only faggots are scared of little bugs. The rest is true..
>>74928050
Jesus Christ, I'm not THAT kind of leaf.
I'm just your standard leafposter, not the massive faggot kind. Just wanted to cap it so I could read it again later for a laugh.
>>74928050
B-29 senpai
>>74928176
Godspeed
>>74926519
>Vidya games
>>74928081
> the fag from Twilight
he's pre based tho
>>74928507
>based
>mtv jacket
>next to a pro-black nigger
>next to another nigger
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE FUCKING AUD -> USD EXCHANGE RATE IS RAPING MY ASS AGAIN
I want the whole US economy to collapse just so I can get myself some cheap steam games.
>>74926706
Just hang in there m8
>>74928750
Four days. Mark my words. Four. Days.
>>74928571
>calling MC Ride a nigger
fuck off kid
>>74928750
>Paying for games
>>74928924
m8 I can't play online multiplayer on a pirated game
>>74929092
>why not pirate steam cards then?
>>74926706
sǝǝɹbǝp 081 ɹoʇıuoɯ ɹıǝɥʇ buıuɹnʇ ʇnoɥʇıʍ ʇsod sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ 11ıʍ suɐı1ɐɹʇsnɐ
Living in Louisiana is similar. Lake pontchartrain has manta rays, alligators, alligator snapping turtles and sharks. Try to plant a garden, grub worms suck the nutrients right out of the dirt, if you don't hit clay or water digging half a foot deep. Africanized insects, every deadly snake in US, fire ants, hurricanes, tornados, the only reason I escaped was from a FEMA loan back in 2005. Australia is probably worse though.
>be American
>wake up
>it's great to be #1
>Say my daily prayer to God Emperor Trump while standing facing the Greatest Wall
>go on the internet to watch the livestream of butthurt Mexicans pawing at the wall while I simultaneously use my xbone controller to bomb Muslims with drones strikes
>notice that a bunch of foreigners are complaining about not being #1 on a Chinese goat fucking forum
>eat my daily meal of Freedom Burgers
>go home and continue being #1
how i picture all australians...
>>74929189
Had to stand on my fucking head to read that.
>>74929302
>be Canadian
>crack top secret Aussie code
Vimy Ridge was only the beginning
>>74929182
Wur
>>74926519
Fuck, I just had appendectomy surgery OP. I nearly busted a stitch.
This really does explain why they shitpost so much.
>>74929182
huh?
>>74926519
>you will never be safe from our shitposting
