>be me, an aussie
>5:00 AM
>every fucker in the jungle starts screechin
>wake up to me beautiful kangaroo wife
>kiss er on the lips, er mustache is bigger than mine
>get up for a good day o """"""""""""""work""""""""""""""
>eat breakfast
>vegemite and fairy bread
>me favorite
>check on the baby
>dingos stole im
>abos stole the baby furniture
>gotta go to work at the crocodile farm
>get me car keys
>abos stole me car
>guess I'll ride me ostrich
>go to ostrich pen
>step over dead abo
>wanker musta tried to steal me ostrich
>saddle up me ostrich
>kangaroo wife kicks me goodbye
>roads all backed up
>abos sleeping on em
>throw boomarang at sleepin abo
>he wakes up, starts screamin "dis our land"
>tell im to fuck off
>hit em with boomarang again
>the vegemite behind his ears knocked off
>instantly raped to death by drop bears
>that'll teach the cheeky cunt
>ride ostrich to work
>emu boss tells me we got a new batch a croc eggs in
>start sortin them from most to least dangerous
>easy work, they all go in most dangerous
>it's midday, time to pray to steve irwin
>finish prayin, time for lunch
>its vegemite and fairy bread
>me favorite
>emu boss tells me to start workin again
>tell im to fuck off
>me act of defiance sparks a revolution
>aussies everywhere throw down their croc eggs
>demand more vegemite and fairy bread
>abos demand that "this our land"
>nobody cares
>emu secret police arrive to restore order
>aussies throw boomerangs
>third emu war begins
>escape outside
>get to me ostrich
>saddle er up, get out extra boomerang
>ride me ostrich into battle
>stray boomerang hits me
>ground harness comes undone
>fly off into space
>get stung by space sting ray and die
pic related, its me n the wife
>>74849940
>be me, Canadian
>oh gosh my house is on fire eh
>golly gee it's hot in he-
>>74850263
>be me a jap
>what is that whistling?
>bomb hits
>die
>>74850470
and yet I am still here, and your country is still on fire
>>74849940
>every fucker in the jungle starts screechin
Yeah, this is probably the worst feel.
>>74850601
at least I have a country
you have an island, a small one
>>74849940
That was pretty fun. Now fuck off
>>>/int/
>>74849940
>be Canadian
>country on fire
>refuse help from neighbors
>prime ministers solution
>apologies to a bunch of immigrants from 50 years ago
>more land on fire
>it's 2016
>can't put out fire, it would be intolerant
>burn to death in a homoerotic blaze
>>74851416
if you fight the fire, it wins
>be me, fatass Amerilard
>get paid by the government because I'm too fat to work
>mom helped me get a nice scooter so I can get around
>at WalMart spending my .gov check
>feel a rumblin in my tumblin
>shit my pants something fierce
>doesn't matter because I gotta spend that welfare on cheap chinese junk
>take a nap in WalMart shitty pants and all
>life is good
>>74849940
TOP
FUCKING
KEK
>>74851524
true. It's the current year, after all
>>74851524
That Canadian Fire sounds deadly, I'll stick with good old fashioned Aussie fire
>>74850957
>muh landmass
truly the last non-argument of a defeated man
>>74852246
Don't you have a mudslim dick to tend to?
>be canadian
>wake up to the call to prayer
>get ready for work
>remember no one in canada has jobs
>go back to bed
>>74849940
>5:00 AM
>every fucker in the jungle starts screechin
:^( every fucking morning. Australian birds make the dumbest noises as well.
>>74849940
nice cringe thread OP thanks for getting it started
>be me, a Swedish guy
>wake up next to wife and her boyfriend Jamal
>pray towards mecca
>have some halal ham on bread for breggie
>go check on my wife's son Ahmed
>go happy to work for 8 hours, paying 90% tax of my income
>volunteer at a local refugee center afterwards
>pray towards mecca
>go home, bring flowers to my wife, apologizing that I'm a white male
>whoops, she and her boyfriend are in a middle of something, I don't wanna bother
>apologize, go look after Ahmed instead
>give wife a foot massage once she's ready with giving a full body massage to Ahmed
>she tells me I have to sleep on a couch with our dog tonight
>>74852626
No, he already gave them his wife's son.
>>74853294
>Go to Australia
>Figure Kookaburras are these rare birds that live in the jungle
>Actually they are like Australia's pigeon's
>Make that dumb noise all day every day for no reason
>See this giant fucking lizard just walking along the pavement one day like someone's pet monitor has escaped
>No one even looks at it
What is wrong with this country?
>>74853715
Move to the US and get fat as fuck like me
>>74851628
>>74853883
Not enough muslims, maybe you could move there to help with that.
>>74854036
Fuck that, and wake up to mosque prayer noises?
Glad we're full
>>74853883
No way thats real. Thats like a cartoonish parody.... Right?
>>74854324
I shit you not a giant lizard walked out of some bushes and down the street into some more bushes and no one batted an eye.
If you go to Australia and travel around you will feel like you are in a parody version of Australia
>mfw a beach had to be closed because a Crocodile was on it.
>mfw abos really are openly treated like animals and you're told not to look them in the eye or talk to them.
>Mfw a Kangaroo walked up to me and shook my hand
A literal meme country
>>74855272
That kinda sounds fun!
>>74854554
Too right m8. Come see for yourself. Experience a flock of these noisy cunts in a tree outside your bedroom. They're each about the size of footballs and shriek at 100+db
>>74849940
I was watching one of those "10 most incredible animal attacks" shows on tv, and I swear to God, 7 of them were from Australia.
I think this is partially reaponsible for the ultra high grade shitposting from Aussies, they literally can't leave the house without being attacked by something.
>>74849940
>>74850470
>>74852246
>do you even continental drift bro?
