what would you do if you had a time machine?
>>73855384
>>73855384
stain those mountaintops
Kill Garx Marx
>>73855384
Jeff pls go.
>>73855384
skip forward to trump's inauguration
>>73855384
She was so cute. Damn Nazis.
Fucking cancer thread fuck off op
>>73855384
Go back in time and call Jesus a filthy kike.
>>73855384
I already went back and fucked Mary so there's that
my kid turned out alright but I'm very angry with what you faggots did to him
Bang anne frank
>>73856389
M-moar
Kill the man who made/invented wheel.
>>73855384
Go back to last Thursday night and pay my phone bill on time.
>>73857706
You sure you wouldn't kill the man who made/invented the toilet?
>>73855384
I already did.
Go back and stop myself from getting tinnituts. Also from making out with that infected chick.
>>73857767
>implying everything you know is wrong
>>73857706
POO
O
O
>>73857706
someone else would invent it
it's not exactly a difficult thing to come up with
>>73857706
>not going back to invent the first toilet in india
you had one job poo
>>73856389
why are the swastikas backward
>>73857065
without marx, hitler may not have become hitler
I'd kill the Bolsheviks
>>73855384
>what would you do if you had a time machine?
Go back 5 months ago when mother was alive, and tell her that i love her.
>>73855384
Make sure the Frankfurt School takes a shower at Auschwitz.
>>73855384
Shoot Ms. Frank and burn that diary (assuming it was actually written by her).
Travel to the year 2004 to shitpost about it on 4chan
>>73858184
Shit, anon
Im sorry for your loss
Hopefully this putin puppy will help cheer you up a bit
>>73855384
kill adam and eve
>go back in time
>save Anne Frank
>marry her and have a loving family
>she thinks i saved her
>but really without her diary Jews can't push her story on our youth
>live happily ever after with one less tool for jews to use
>>73855384
Go forward and see whether we ever live out no mans sky style of space exploration or die on this planet after some world war/nuclear problem.
>>73855384
Kill Ishmael
Tell the Founding Fathers to outlaw African slavery and import more English and European workforce.
>>73855384
I want to commit a 1940's Germany crime.
>>73855384
>what would you do if you had a time machine?
1) Use my powers of historical knowledge to become the emperor of Rome
2) Kill all the jews
3) Continue to worship the benevolent Greek Gods
>>73856389
I cringe any time I see historically inaccurate Nazi uniforms.
>>73858779
But the Greek Gods are such assholes, though. That Athena bitch got angry because some slut was better at spinning cloth.
Fuck young hillary clinton in the asshole.
>>73855384
Vote for Hitler
>>73855384
i would show lincoln pictures of black neighbourhoods
>>73855384
poop in places that would leave people confused for all eternity
>>73858849
The Greek gods were in human form because they idolized the beauty of the body. the pagan god of the joos is a burning bush that drowns people and makes them wander through deserts.
>>73858248
This is by far the best answer. I guess we admited turkey to nato for a reason.
>>73857894
I'd fuck her
>>73858372
is that a wojak version of evola
>>73858955
2nd best answer so far.
>>73857170
Kike
Go back a few months and buy as many of Jeb!'s guacobowls I can get my hands on.
And then, after he drops out, I would take a shit in all of them and mail them back to him.
Prevent my birth.
>>73857112
I'd bio engineer sand worms like the ones from the movie tremors, and put them in the middle east around 2000 B.C. to kill all the kikes and mudslimes.
Then I'd give marco polo and colombus a shipment of blankets with the black plague to take to asia and america respectably.
>>73858434
We're never going to space, we're never even going to find a way of maintaining current standards of living. Do you know of anything that can replace oil and coal? If you actually look into it, there's nothing.
It's more likely we'll just revert to a ~1800ad agrarian society though.
>>73855384
Kill Evita and Peron aka Save Argentina.
>>73855384
Find out how causality works across time and whether it is actually possible to pull me up by my own bootstraps
>>73855384
>no results for kill Hitler
Stormfags have overrun this board
>>73862315
I hate hitler but no oldfag ever would have said kill hitler.
I think you are mirssing the purpose. You
>>73857422
faggot
I would
I'd hit the beard, man. I'd come up with some plan to get him when he was weakest, around the time he started his batshit religion and had few followers.
>>73857422
Excellent 9gag meme. The Hillary super PAC has deposited 2 shekels into your account
>>73855384
but I'm in a time machine, it's always set to go forward, I even have a clock that measures it, or maybe time measure's the clock's progress. either way though senpai
>>73859013
But I am a strong independent Kurd who dont need no roach
Go back and tell Hitler it's the Muslims that want to destroy Germany
>>73855384
Go sideways and bring back all manner of supernatural items and advanced technology to this timeline.
>>73858092
What do you mean, going BACK to invent the first Indian toilet?
Go back in time and make sure my parents never met, therefore never having me.
bring niggers back to when they WUZ KANGZ N SHEIT and leave without them
>>73855384
Show Lenin the future of the USSR
>>73865195
Do you not realize the paradox in that you stupid freaking leaf?
>>73865195
Stupid fucking leaf
>>73865195
Just a fucking leaf
>>73858184
I never asked for this
>>73865195
Dumb leaf knows nothing about paradoxes
>>73858184
Channel all your sadness and resentment into hating Muslims. Godspeed brother.
>>73865195
I hope you die in that fire in Canada you fucking leaf
>>73865195
Give this man a job in Hollywood!
I'd rather go foward than back in time.
>>73865195
JUST
>>73865195
FUCKING
>>73865195
LEAF
>>73855384
Stop lincoln's assasination.
No more blacks in america.
>>73858092
>you had one job
>not going back to invent Reddit in Canada
>>73855384
>what would you do if you had a time machine?
go back 2000yrs and hide random modern tech all around the pyramids. Return to present and dig them up, get a retard kangz 'n sheeit show on The History channel
>>73865957
>calling unas niggers
Don't insult them please.
>>73865642
Youhavetogoback.webm
>>73858092
It actually was you nigger
>The ancient Indus Valley Civilisation of South Asia, including current day Pakistan and Northwest India, was prominent in hydraulic engineering, and had many water supply and sanitation devices that were the first of their kind.
>Among other things, they contain the world's earliest known system of flush toilets. These existed in many homes, and were connected to a common sewerage pipe. Most houses also had private wells. City walls functioned as a barrier against floods.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanitation_of_the_Indus_Valley_Civilisation
>>73865637
I love you. Marry me?
>>73866113
just a fucking burger
>>73855384
i'd have consensual sex in the missionary position with your mom so that you wouldn't be born.
>>73866113
fucking burger I will never marry you
>>73866113
Just a fucking burger, I hope you die in the yellowstone volcano
>>73865637
good, i only like Finland's memes anyways
>>73866113
Just a fucking transgender black burger bitch
>>73865320
>an increase in their past population would lead to a massive increase of their current population
>>73866113
I'm depressed and I'm starting to think life is pointless
>>73866113
Just a big fat assaholic burger bitch, I AM NOT GAY
>>73865481
There are no time paradoxe. Just world lines
El Psy Congrooo
>>73855384
Destroy the fathers of communism, like Marx.
Destroy the Goethe University of Frankfurt and all the students and staff there--this is to destroy the Frankfurt School of thought and to ensure no disciples of the commies survives.
Destroy the Bolsheviks.
Destroy China.
Destroy the Middle East.
>>73855384
Based on this thread, I'd introduce sweden to the idea that importing niggers is great because it 1716, and just have the entire mess over. Sweden being the example for the west on what not to do.
>>73866485
FUCKING MERKEL YES THERE IS A PARADOX IF U GO BACK IN TIME AND MAKE URSELF DIE THEN U NEVER EXISTED TO GO BACK IN TIME IN TE FIRST PLACE CANCELING OUT EVERYTHING MAKING YOU LIVE AGAIN
DUMB
FUCKING
KEBAB german!!!
>>73866360
ahmed's hangry as fuck
>>73866562
SHAT DIS U SAY FUXKING LEAF????
>>73866305
Are you schizophrenic?
Absolutely nothing.
I like the course of history just like it is, and no it's not "oh muh gommunism". That shit is dying right now anyways. The right is rising, we're all good.
But to contribute to the thread: prevent the coup d'etat of Ioannidis in 1973 or get Metaxas to a greek hospital
>>73866642
NO, BUT ANGRY
>>73855384
Kill Commodore Perry
>>73860701
I'm pretty much assuming that we won't actually do it. It's nearly guaranteed that we won't in any of our life times if ever. But ya'know there's always the unreal possibility we won't kill each other into extinction and manage to use our suns' energy to advance tech and shit to achieve great new things. or something. We can dream. Also there's a small unreal chance there is other life in our general area (Our galaxy I guess.) and not only that but it's sentient, managed to maintain a society, advance into space age tech and either become a level 1, 2, or the godlike level 3 society and then not destroy us but come to contact/interact peacefully with us for whatever reason. That'd probably be quite a significant boost to our progression.
Kill John Conner
Pic unrelated
>>73855384
i would pay for OP's mom to have that abortion she couldn't afford
>>73865481
>>73865575
>>73865589
>>73865611
>>73865637
>>73865654
>>73865663
>>73865672
>>73865685
[This triggers the Sven]
>>73866780
About what?
>>73866474
>Non gay Swedish person.
I don't belive you.
>>73858005
Amerindians never did
>>73856389
>the question mark has umlauts
>>73865195
a fucking leaf are you kidding me
I'd go back and stop Kylo Ren from killing Han Solo
>>73866722
>I like the course of history just like it is, and no it's not "oh muh gommunism". That shit is dying right now anyways.
But the world would be better off without commies in the first place if all the key commies were destroyed/assassinated. We wouldn't have to do all that Cold War bullshit. We wouldn't have to deal with the leftist media and academia, because their heroes (and possibly their ancestors) would be wiped out.
Russia wouldn't be the way it is now because "gommunism" turned them the way they are now. China wouldn't be a threat, and would still be making crap for everyone for less, or for opium. We wouldn't have that fat midget megalomaniac gook annoying the crap out of everyone.
Prevent ww1
>>73866474
>I AM NOT GAY
Chris Chan, is it you?
Kill Reagan.
Not only was Reagan a bad president, but he's the reason why we have extreme leftists.
Depends how big the machine is and what I can get through.
Start small. Buy a 1921 Thompson submachine gun over the counter for $125 when that was legal. Get Armand Swenson to gunsmith me a 1911. Interfere with the assassination of Marilyn Monroe for lulz.
Modern boat, guns, and SCUBA gear, go back to 1715 and hijack/salvage one of the eleven galleons sunk out of the Spanish Plate Fleet off Florida. Take some of that to London, deposit it, let compound interest do its thing.
In 2005, buy the heavy cruiser USS Des Moines when she was sold, instead of scrapping, using London account, refit, sail her through, poach a few more galleons, use money to buy infrastructure to establish base camp somewhere back in time from which to reshape the present.
>>73867458
He's also responsible for
>62%
>>73858005
Watch some African Africans handle a wheel barrow. They don't know how to handle a wheel worth a shit. The Europeans introduced that shit to them. Also cars. Gooks drive better than they do. Too interested in boom box music or some other shit to give a fuck about driving.
Unfortunately it also affects African Muricans.
Also, "native" Americans never used a wheel. They were fucking stupid, but now on meth. Atleast they can pay some attention to their kids on meth.
>>73855384
before Waterloo, stand on a pulpit in the middle of Hyde Park and yell "THE ENGLISH ARE WINNING!! THE ENGLISH ARE WINNING!!"
...BEFORE the Rothchild got back to the stock exchange,
>>73856389
w-what happens next
>Go back to when people would be killed for "witchcraft"
>Tell them about reptile aliens disguising themselves as human to take over the world
>Describe them as having long, crooked noses, often dark curly hair
>Come back, enjoy world without jewish influence
Go back in time to 1980 when my dad was 21 and kick the shit out of him.
>>73855384
first test the grandfather paradox. go buy a dog from a pound. then wait 1 week with the dog then go back in time and kill the dog after i had purchased it the night after i bought it while i sleep and bring the dog with me
in the morning i will still know i purchased the dog regardless but the me that went back who killed the slightly younger dog aka present day me will know if any revision to the time stream affected the dog brought with me in the past
if it vanishes i still know i bought the dog and why i went back in time since it was planned before i go back in time or even bought the dog. so if i got no dog even if i dont remember why i know the grandfather paradox should be true
meaning if you go back to far you could sort of screw things up potentially by causing a loop in time you dont exist so you cant go back so you do exist and go back and fuck things up time never gets to move past the point when you go back
but if the second slightly older dog is fine then time itself insulates against any revisions so revisions occur later in the time line. you can kill your great grand parents and never be born but still exist because in the first time line you had been born then went back so you side step the revision
then become god emperor of time with duplicates made by going back to a specific day i set constantly counting back by visiting me in time points between the current and day set
a army of me policing time who would over throw every government in the past and later in the future just for fun. me vs me who will win?!?!!?
>>73856389
I wanna say this is shadmans work but it seems like something really early he did
>go back in time
>kill Muhammad
>burn any and all copies of their holy book
>you will never own a time machine
Only reason I get up in the morning is hoping for one
i would go back and tell hitler not to invade until the summer
>>73868136
t. slim shady
>>73869010
moters sppehtil
I'd go fuck so many 1950s bitches. God fucking damn, I'd be nailing those sluts and teaching them Asian shit like they wouldn't believe.
>>73869274
>implying 1950s bitches would want asian inside of them
>>73858184
This thread was supposed to be fun.
Stay strong man, can empathize with you.
>>73868612
Underrated post. One of the reasons I need a base camp infrastructure in the past is to genocide the piss out of that whole area, killing not just one man but draining the fetid swamp of seventh century Arabia that vomited him up.
>>73868952
He did invade in the summer. 22 June 41.
The problem was that the operation jumped off six weeks LATE, and enough of the 1941 German military was still horse drawn that they were racing the winter at Napoleonic speed. No matter how fast the tanks were, the artillery was coming up by horse and much of the Infantry was still walking.
Better not to go at all, use those resources in North Africa for a decisive win, take Cairo, take Suez, then get into the Middle East oil fields to address Germany's most glaring strategic material shortage.
>>73855384
Check for traps...
>>73858184
Shit, son. Stay strong slavbro.
>>73858174
>Implying Hitler didn't make it worse for nationalists and fascists
>Implying it not thanks to Hitler nationalism is seen as something ebil among normies in the west today
I could get communism to be a world-wide revolutionary wave. I would know how to due to have the retrospect.
>>73855384
Tell your greatgreat grandfather what a cücked nation murica will be in the year 2016.
>>73873258
Which one, faggot?
>>73855384
Would've prevented rise of the bolsheviks.
