>Americans have to "come out" as atheists to their parents
>Americans must obtain a so-called "fancy booze licence" from their local sheriff to consume any alcohol other than Coors, Budweiser or Miller
>Americans are encouraged to become obese, as the extra fat serves as protection from gunfire
>Americans are implanted with a special microchip at birth which sends a moderate electric shock through their bodies every time they acknowledge that they lost in Vietnam
>Americans refer to the metric system as "The Forbidden Knowledge"
>Americans are shot dead by North Korean border guards in their dozens annually during attempted guerilla attacks waged with the intention of "getting revenge for Pearl Harbour"
>Americans who find themselves in the presence of Israeli Jews must perform a "submission hoedown." This involves a highly choreographed dancing performance demonstrating the American's subordinate position to the Israeli. The hoedown ends with the American loudly proclaiming "YOU DA BOSS, YEE-HAW!!"
>Americans refer to Type 2 Diabetes as "The Burden of Manifest Destiny"
>Americans visiting Auschwitz are frequently reprimanded for attempting to restart the ovens for usage with their reheatable Holocaust-themed packed lunches
>American children are required to undergo the "McDonald's Initiation Ceremony" on their fifth birthday, where they are taken to their local McDonald's and must ritualistically consume every item on the menu before reciting all the advertising slogans in chronological order
this is pasta, right?
>>73526021
Whatever France if the Axis, maybe if you guys fought better in WW2 Germany could have saved a lot. But you guys failed against America, as you failed throughout your miserable lives as a country. Funny thing is you guys are using your navy to bring in "refugees". You are the gateways to Europes cucking. Way to fuck over Germany again.
>Mexican flag
>tries roasting americans
>literally gtfo pleb
>McDonald's initiation ceremony
Thought I was the only one. My parents are rich so I got to bring my whole kindergarten class with me.
>>73527499
>Americans must not use common sence to further their knowledge
>Americans have to "come out" as atheists to their parents
This one is actually true.
>>73526021
fucking italian scum, remember mussolini?
>be american
>most of last months paycheck went to yearly booze license renewal
>girlfriend is barely able to maintain recommended protective Biological Multisituational Adipose Combat Shielding
>whats rest of my check pays for her meals at McDonalds, for her safety
>she recently came out as an atheist to her parents, who obviously disowned her
>offer to take her out for fancy date to wendys as consolation
>look at wallet
>fug
>look up directions on google maps, but the units are in The Forgotten Tongue
>fugging europoors
>find our way there anyway, stopped twice by cops because we 'didnt look like we were angry enough about pearl harbor'
>order the number five to impress my girlfriend with my advanced mathematical skills
>could have gone worse i guess
>turn to leave
>fug no
>its a jew
>tears gather in the corners of my eyes & run down my chins
>please, not here, not now
>it must be done
>the flag hangs at half mast & the eagles hide their faces as i am forced to perform the submission hoedown in front of my girlfriend
>spaghetti falls out of pocket during last bow, i slip & fall, breaking two bones & permanently denting the floor
>girlfriend breaks up with me
>life in shambles
>too embarrassed to ever set foot in wendys again
g-god bless ameriga
>>73526021
Made me fucking kek. Learn to handle the Bantz, Yankees.
>Americans wear shoes inside the house
>>73528028
keked
>>73528028
Gold. OP is a potato-nigger.
>>73526021
kek'd
5/7
>>73527499
>>73527281
>Mexican
>France
>>73528028
>we didn't look angry enough about pearl harbor
This part killed me, well done.
>>73526021
More please
>>73528223
>Mexicans clean the mud, piss, and cum off American carpets
>>73526021
As an official 'Murcian, I can confirm that this is all true.
>>73526021
>Any American company trying to pay taxes in the US receives a warning letter from the IRS
>Americans believe that Jesus and the Founding Fathers were actual historical figures rather than fiction
>Americans are so bad at math and statistics they are legally not allowed to own casinos in most states - that's why only Native Americans run casinos
>>73528813
fuck off commie, putin is our greatest enemy!
>>73526021
SHUT IT DOWN THE YOORPEENS KNOWN
>>73528028
>>73526021
I'm rolling, this is fucking great.
>>73526021
>Burden of Manifest Destiny
Make me kek so hard i passed out.
But two notes:
Truse burden of manifest destify is dealing with Texans and Illegals.
This joke depressed me because i dont think anyone under 25 could tell me what "Manifest Destiny" meant.
