serious question:
how do people in Britain slice bread if knives are illegal?
The bread is already sliced
What are you, savages?
>>73495299
the bread is already sliced
>>73495299
They bake sliced bread.
knives aren't illegal you just need to have a license to use them like with TV's
>>73495377
>>73495401
then who sliced it
>>73495299
Bread is also illegal
>>73495299
>>73495377
Kek smiles upon this thread.
Good tidings for today.
Their nanny state takes care of it for them. Brits can't be trusted to slice their own bread.
>>73495377
How do you guys cut your meat without knives? Or is meat banned now too?
>>73495299
but more srsly how do they walk outside with a knife in their pocket if knives are illegal
>>73495377
>>73495401
>>73495424
>not wanting to make custom loaf subs by cutting it horizontally
Do you even sandwich m8?
>>73495299
lasers
>>73495377
but how do you spread butter?
>>73495493
>What is sliced meat?
>>73495523
Illegal
>>73495518
Same way they spread buttholes for their Muslim overlords.
>>73495299
Knives aren't illegal, you just have to be 18+ to buy them
>>73495299
I had an uncut cob loaf the other day and I had to take it down the police station to get sliced up.
Unfortunately when I got there the Police turned me away and told me go get it blessed at the local Mosque as it was not yet haram.
Pissed me off it did, I've already been for my five mandatory prayers today for fuck sake and they wanted me to go back again?
After this debacle I returned back to my cuck shed and made myself a nice toast sandwich.
>>73495523
What about cheese?
>>73495493
Pakis have teached brits how to cut meat with bombs.
>>73495637
>What is a plastic cheese grater?
>>73495299
with guns
>>73495727
those have sharp edges though.
>>73495448
The queen.
The tradition dates back to the first ribbon cutting ceremony, where the building managers put up the ribbon only to then realise no one was allowed any sharp objects with which to cut it.
So the then king, George IV, was asked to cut it, and the royal family has been responsible for cutting everything ever since.
>>73495637
>the rest of the world doesn't even know what real cheese is
>>73495631
>not yet haram.
It's halal you stupid idiot
sliced bread, sliced meat, and spreading butter?
You don't need knives for this. They just dip them all into their tea and it dissolves.
>>73495786
>the royal family has been responsible for cutting everything ever since
Makes self harm a bitch desu
>>73495631
I bet your bread wasn't even white was it?
You may as well just give the keys to the country to Osama
>>73495377
this
>>73495808
You came here to post this about a mixed up word? Wow.
I prostrate myself before your omnipotence, of mighty one.
>>73495498
this. pre-sliced bread/cheese/meat is shit. Having a butcher slice your meat and cheese is patrician. Only buy whole loaves of fresh baked bread for sammies.
>>73495448
Someone who has filed all the proper paperwork and paid all the proper fees to be given a bread slicing license by the UK government.
>>73495800
My god, this is crap. This shit doen't melt
>>73495518
I actually use the back of a spoon.
It doesn't tear the bread to pieces like a knife does when the butter comes out of the fridge.
>>73495883
if you are going to integrate into the superior culture, at least use the correct terms
>>73495834
>eating white bread
I seriously hope you guys don't do that
>>73495727
Sounds dangerous
>>73495800
Damn image swamps eh, they changed your pic of cheese for a bag of yellow plastic.
>>73495924
That's probably because the oven in your cardboard box is broken
>>73495932
>spoon
DANGEROUS CRIMINAL DETECTED! You have been reported to the nearest council and law enforcement authorities. Please have your TV license ready, you will be visited by the police shortly to have all of your unregistered spoons confiscated and charged with domestic terrorism.
>>73495299
You get handed your slice at the bread line.
>>73495834
AHahaha don't be silly! We give all the soft and delicious white bread to our Muslim benefactors.
We only get the dark gritty bread as we have not yet learned to be humble.
Didn't you know? The BBC says that the Muslims brought bread and slicing technology to the west and without them we'd all be uncultured heathens.
>>73495299
you get a knife license duh
>>73495800
That stuff is disgusting and should be banned.
>>73496064
Must be some geometric mystery only they can unlock
>>73496105
I agree
>>73495950
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9Go049z-O3c
Of coursh.
>>73495997
http://www.thespec.com/news-story/5734210-one-woman-stabbed-another-attacked-with-cheese-grater/
im gunna have to bin that for you. This article says a cheese grater was used to attack someone.
>>73495299
That's why we have the phrase
"The best thing since sliced bread"
If it was not for sliced bread we would all starve.
>>73496105
It's a necessary evil at this point. How else are those kids who eat nothing but hamburgers and grilled cheese every day going to get their calcium?
>>73495493
Most meat is haram, anyways.
>>73495299
>>73496198
But how you cut the meat?
>>73496198
Do the police slice the bread for you?
>>73496266
Its all pre-sliced
Our bread
Our meat
Our cheese
Our curfews
>>73496163
that's a metal cheese grater though plastics are fine
>>73496337
>>73496406
so all your meat is pre-packaged, pre-cut and processed shit?
>>73495631
Gave me a kek. Here's a (You)
>>73496315
They are not allowed knives either. Anyone who owns a knife is a criminal. It's presliced at the factory.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UjUWfwWAC4
4:30
>>73496468
It's for our own safety.
>>73496468
For the greater good
>>73496468
so is yours
>>73496064
It's true.
Having few Muslims here, as such we have to add flagrantly homosexual rainbow colours to our bread to corrupt I mean support our transgender children.
>>73496521
I...Im sorry...a..anon.
>ywn buy a fresh loaf of un-cut bread and make a custom sammie with your whole block of freshly uncut cheese.
>>73495924
It melts lol
>>73496581
Not if you go out of your way to buy quality meat that is cut by a butcher on the spot. You have to look for that free range grass fed shit. Not that cheap garbage. Its really not hard to find that stuff.
>>73496613
I took a flight out to the US once and made a fresh sandwhich. Unfortunately they found out I handled a knife abroad and I lost my job.
I hear the Brits buy sheet metal and forge their own knives.
>>73495637
Pre-sliced
>>73495800
>yellow rubber
>cheese
>>73496105
>thing should be banned simply because I don't like it
Settle down there aids skrillex
>>73495299
They invite a muslim in their house, because it would be intolerant from their side if they did not allow Muslims to carry throat slicing knives with them at all times to murder infidels when their culture would be oppressed by whites.
>>73496737
Did you have to go down to the local mosque and receive some sharia law lashings?
>>73496749
Maybe out in the countryside where it's easier to get a sheet metal license.
>>73495800
Anything you can buy from the grocery store that has the word "food" on it isn't meant for consumption.
>>73496842
Obviously. And pay a fine.
>>73496888
Nice get
>>73495377
>The bread is already stale
FTFY
>>73496857
We use combine harvesters out here to cut all our stuff
>>73496737
You're lucky to be alive.
If the knife had been used on Spam it'd be capital punishment for you boyo
>>73496724
most americans are too lazy to find it though. the fact that you even mention the butcher shows how different you must be to the average american. most americans buy their "meat" from the supermarket.
>>73496857
>sheet metal license
Please tell me this isn't true.
>>73496925
>tfw I don't have my get license renewed
Looks like it's off to jail again.
>>73497007
alot of super markets actually have butchers there surprisingly enough. they offer the cheap crap which most people go for or you can pay extra and get the fresh shit thats still hanging on hooks.
>>73496998
By hanging of course, none of those sharp axes or guillotine things.
>>73495448
I think I know who
>be me on a night out
>drunkenly stumble into takeaway
>kebab boss asks if I'd like a plastic fork with my chips
>I oblige
>riot van smashes through front window and I'm bundled to the floor by the filth
>given 18 months for possession of a firearm
>>73495299
>goes to kitchen
>2 dozen various knives in drawer
Feels good man.
Man up brits.
>>73496724
^ This
I am a butcher, and most grocers have them too (but lazy and only cut fresh in the morning)
>>73497007
Clearly if you buy your shit at fucking made in china-mart that is packaged with fucking carbon monoxide and nitrates to keep the meat pink you've gone and fucked up on your own accord.
My business is growing because not only do we beat most of the prices at the supermarket, our stuff is just better because of how we obtain it.
>>73496888
>>73497155
STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM
>>73497007
America has the best choice cuts in the world
>>73497279
>tfw I use a knife multiple times a day and never stabbed anyone.
>tfw I safely stash my guns in my gun drawer and they still go off killing dozens
>>73495493
Pork probably is
>>73495712
high kek
RIGHT YOU CUNTS.
TIME TO BIN THOSE BISCUITS AND , CAST AWAY YOUR COOKIES AND SELL YOUR SCONES.
>>73497592
Oh god, I have a field of nettles outside my house
I hope the police don't find out.
>>73497592
Oh shit, there are assault nettles growing in my garden and I have no way to get rid of them because lawnmowers are basically automatic assault knives.
>>73497592
For a second i thought that said kettles
>>73497681
Pull them out with your hands anon, it's the only way since gloves were made illegal after all the high-school stranglings
>>73497732
>implying tea time isnt the most dangerous times of day.
>thousands of brits assaulted by their kettles by incidental burnings.
>This just in stoves and things that heat up are banned.
>Electricity banned in the UK.
Starting to look more and more like the middle east
>>73497667
>>73497681
>>73497732
You're all fucked lads. If a police helicopters flies over and spots that you have a munitions stockpile on your property you are going to be in for a shit time.
I had to use my teeth to get rid of my patch - it was worth it in the end.
>>73497851
Please invade and liberate us
>>73497468
Oh, are your guns the ones that shot me yesterday? Keep those damn things on a leash.
>>73497942
Soon
>>73497965
Sorry anon, theyre so dangerous. I dont want to go near them cause every time I do, it makes me want to murder someone.
>>73498161
If you don't keep your guns in a yuge steel-clad safe where they belong, I'll have the ATF knocking on your door senpai
Just last week seven of my two kids were gunned down at their school, and I'm almost sure that was also you
>>73495808
>>73495631
>It's halal you stupid idiot
Mfw burger teaching muslim how to islam. Kek
>>73498339
>steel-clad safe
>implying owning a gun in any way shape or form should be allowed
Goy you should know, big brudda knows whats best for you. Lemme take all those guns so you are safe.
http://www.amazon.com/Cooks-Innovations-Ceramic-Grater-Plate/dp/B001BOBZSU
>>73495637
>>73495481
>The Sun never sets on the British empire because God didn't trust them in the dark.
>Now they can't be trusted to slice bread
>>73498594
It's a good thing those frogs couldn't shoot back or one of those innocent refugees might have been hurt.
>>73499023
Preach, brodda
![r1WwU[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/m5uapED.gif "r1WwU[1].gif")
>>73495299
>>73499218
>>73499023
holyshit i just noticed this lol
>>73495377
>Mummy Queen doesn't let us cut our own bread
can't make this shit up
>>73495493
Meat is not for the peasants.
Only royals and nobility.
>>73495299
oi m8 stop right there have you got a bread license?
>>73495299
Most Britts buy your shitty qualtiy tasteless pre-sliced dog food of a bread. Only difference they buy pre-sliced because knifes are illegal, you buy pre-sliced because you are lazy fat fucks.
>>73495299
>cold bread past the 1mm of browning
>>73495631
>pic related
>>73495727
Hopefully you have a license for that weapon
>>73501076
>this triggers hungary
![stotty-cakes-3[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZYS31pj.jpg "stotty-cakes-3[1].jpg")
>>73501076
>third worlders think their third world rations are bread because they've seen plastic sliced bread props on the telly
We are truly blessed with the bounty of Allah
>>73495299
Poor Brits.
>>73495377
who was knife??
>>73503158
Jeb was a knife guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg02n7tJfMM
>>73501076
love it when eastern yuros think they're god's gift to food when the height of their cuisine is boiled cabbage
>>73495299
>Slicing bread
>Not buying pre-sliced or getting the store to cut it
Literally why?
>>73503815
>can decide how thick you want it (inb4 cuck)
>stays fresher for longer
>freedom
>>73495932
>>73503598
you give love a bad name
>>73495299
They use a thin guage of steel wire.
Of which is soon to be made illegal.
>join the choir, trash that wire!
>>73504555
>Other countries really slice bread with these killing machines
>>73503598
wait that can't be real? Did he shot himself on accident or did he do sudoku?
>>73495448
>>73495786
>>73495921
>>73497241
>thinking loaves of bread are hand sliced
Fucking RETARDS
Real question, im a chef so I have my knife roll with 8 different knives in it, I leave them at work, but how do british cooks and chefs do their work, wouldn't they like confiscate your knives or some shit if they saw you walking to work with a knife roll?
>>73506275
>literally a machine made out of knives like some sort of holocaust torture device made by aryan monsters
by the queen what madness is this?
>his country hasnt yet mastered the innovation known as sliced bread
>american intellectuals
>>73506479
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpuMgdulqN0
We have this thing in our Supermarkets, we buy our bread, than put it in that thing and push a button, makes fun.
Serious question:
is martial art banned in cuckland
>>73506389
>implying chefs here have knives
Are you calling our chefs terrorists?
>>73506652
>implying we allow people the knowledge how to throw a punch
Why would you even need to? Are you a criminal?
>>73506275
absolutelyharam.jpeg
>>73496579
The greater good.
>>73506581
>only using it for bread
I would put fucking everything I could get my hands on in that shit, it looks glorious.
How can you have any pudding
If you can't slice your meat?
You can't have any pudding
Until you slice your meat
>>73503598
It was in my native hueland, girlfriend cheated on him so he killed himself in front of her like a R9k faggot, end of story.
>>73497007
And most supermarkets worth a fuck have a butcher.
>>73506275
I sure hope that knife machine is under strict military guard.
Do Americans understand self-deprecating humour at all?
I see it from Brits all the time on this board and I don't think Americans understand the concept.
>>73498594
Never baguette
>>73506479
>He doesn't have a wife who bakes a variety of fresh breads
>>73506389
They chew on the food for a bit then spit it out on a plate like birds
>>73499375
You monster
>>73496105
THIS DEGENERACY MUST STOP.
GAS THE COW, CHEESE WAR NOW.
>>73507281
Meh, half the time I see Brits deprecate themselves, they mention how the US is even worse than they are.
I work internationally, and in real life, Brits are just cucks who can't say the same thing to my face unless they have a few others around. They're so shocked when they see "such a smart guy" supporting Trump. I really see no reason to self-deprecate when anti-Americanism is rampant amongst Europeans - I get told America is shit 24/7 when I'm with one of you cucks regardless.
>>73495493
Meat is haram
>>73495800
Is this even real cheese?
>>73506275
BIN THIS
>>73508239
>be in afghanistan stuck on a british fob
>openly call us yanks
>openly call them redcoats
>mfw
>>73508616
Looks like a black cuck.
never seen anything like that on /pol/
wtf is that knife bin?
>>73508745
It makes it so criminals dont have knives
Not sure how it works
>>73506275
>Not being able to handle the bantz
The queen would be ashamed, anon.
Imagine the dear old queen, walking across her garden to visit her corgi plantation.
>Oh hello Stanley, how are those roses coming along.
>Well, see 'ere yur majesty the petal are coming right vibran' this 'ere year
When suddenly, like a pointy bit of metal to the heart; her queenly intuition tells her about this post
>Anon, why couldn't you handle the bantz?
>>73508879
>real criminals
>giving away their knives
I don't get it.
Also
>get a life
lol
>>73508616
>Get a life
Wait, are they handing out orphans?
>>73506389
Knives of any size are allowed on your own property and if youve got a valid reason for them (eg. a chef taking his knives from home to work etc.)
>>73509110
Do you mean they're overly sensitive if you, I don't know,
go to a picnic, and grill some meat or w/e, and need a sharp knife?
>>73495299
s-stop making fun of us
>>73495299
They pay a bread tax so that licensed bread slicers are subsidized to do it for them.
>>73495299
>2052
>living Islamic British Caliphate
>mandated government halal Kitchen of Allah provides already sliced bread because British citizens are too cu.cked to handle a knife
>get daily bread ration before morning mandatory prayer time
>walk back to the flat , passing by all the ally ways while men rape dissident women
>get inside to eat my bread
>grab spoon and spread margarine because I'm a coward who let Islam take over my clay
>such is life in bonglandistan
>>73495299
Holy shit, that explains why he didn't use an actual knife
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZpBMfA9lZs
>>73509261
are you guys gun nuts in israel or something?
>>73509261
I wouldnt think there was a problem with that. I would count that as a valid reason for having one!
Obviously threaten or stab someone with it and its a different matter.
>>73506275
>Not having a local bakery who makes supreme bread.
Get cucked
>>73495424
>they bake sliced bread
criminally underrated post
>>73509630
GET A LIFE
BIN THAT KNIFE
Bad news guys.
All the Brits posting on here - we've been ratted out. There is an informant in in this thread and he has sent all of our locations to the Islamic Police.
Guess I'll be seeing you all at the kebab factory.
>>73509746
Kaokek × 9 000
>>73508879
How long until that free bag comes with a Quran instead of a Bible?
>>73506275
Oi, only the Queen has access to that Death Machine, god save 'er!
>>73509957
If I were there, I wouldn't bin a knife and go ask the church for the freebies anyway, since jesus is feeling a bit generous.
>>73510583
I mean I would ask for the freebies and not let them know that I didn't bin a knife.
>>73509630
>that Swiss ARMY KNIFE
Called the queen, expect the bobbys at your place forthwith.
Daily reminder that Texas has the best super market chain in the world. More healthy selection than any healthy food store and more fat food than any burger could imagine.
>>73511150
>HEB
>good
That was always the store of last resort, or if we wanted some cucumber juice (that's some tasty stuff mang). HEB is worse than any Kroger. Hell, it's even worse than Walmart.
>>73511150
NO STORE DOES MORE THAN MY LOCAL HEB
>>73508616
>ribbon cutting to open knife bin
This cant be real
>>73511354
the fuck are you smoking pendejo
>A fucking stick
>>73511354
Kroger is alright, but the selection and quality is hands down not even close to HEB. I don't think you know what you are talking about. Maybe you have an older and smaller HEB near you. Also walmart is only good for the price and nothing else. If walmart could beat other grocery stores in quality, it would have put them out of business by now.
>>73495299
>>73495377
>>73495401
>>73495481
>>73495493
>>73495631
Only the government can be trusted to cut bread
Combine everything wrong with the US and Europe, and you get the UK
>>73495299
are knives really illegal in uk??
>>73495299
How do Americans wipe their ass if they are too fat to wipe them.
Trick question, they shit themselves in Walmart and make a minimum wage slave do it.
>>73515239
niggers tongue my aaaanus.
>>73500209
>Meat is not for the peasants.
No, course meat is for peasents. Beef products are for peasents whilst chicken and other soft meats are for the upper class. Why do you think they got so butthurt when we started selling them assloads of cheap chicken?(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_tax) This is also why we gave so much cheap chicken to Ivan while the Euros were watching.
>>73506825
>How can you have any pudding
>If you can't slice your meat?
You have to be a brit since only brits see the word "pudding" and think about a meat pastery product.
>>73508879
Thought bibles were illegal in Britain too
>>73516302
>>73516496
I thought you were dead. What happened?
>>73515466
Wow, whoever created shit like that should be shot. I'd intentionally piss on the wall.
I've mastered buttering my toast with a spoon. Its almost as good as a kn*fe once you get used to it.
>>73516690
>I thought you were dead. What happened?
Too busy working on cars where I don't have internet access.
>>73496468
and 80% horse
>>73509650
>His local bakery doesn't have one of these
lmao to behonest, familia..
>>73516880
>>73495299
They buy it pre-sliced, you ignorant fucker
I like everything that is happening here
>>73495800
> American cheese
>>73497592
Oh for fuck's sake
Don't tell me i'm gonna have to get a biscuit license now
>>73516942
unacceptable.
>>73495299
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFT6pa25KMU&index=1&list=LLYbzhqsR2a51u3PQr0bDiKA
>>73497681
>Automatic assault knives
Holy kek , my sides are in orbit.
>>73518078
which spastic are you?
I just searched 'british cutting knife' and found this.
Explain yourselves britbongs.
>>73509630
>Wine opener
They're already coming for you, anon.
