Is there anything I need to know before we buy stuff here?
>>72532649
Some fucking tasty meatballs.
Are you buying a cuck shed?
>>72532649
> Need to know
No? You most likely know you have to assemble the furniture yourself.
Buy some really uncomfortable furniture that looks cute for about a couple days
>>72532649
Yes. You get what you pay for. Buy a desk for $20 dollars, expect the paint to flake and fade after a year. Also assemble things alone, or you risk permanently harming your relationship with the other person.
>>72532649
IKEA really has made consumerism a science, so expect a barrage of subliminal brainwashing if you go there. And you might end up buying stuff that you didn't plan to buy in advance.
But... it's pretty good value, at least over here it is. I say steel you mind beforehand and when you go think of it as going into a burning building to rescue a dog or something. In and out as fast as possible.
>>72532649
IKEA is mostly for hipsters and landlords. They sell cheap minimalist (and sometimes even ugly) furniture that looks alright but it's actually quite lame.
If you want cheap shit you kind find better deals with more functional stuff like cloth wardrobes and shit. I my opinion if you're going to live in that house a long time you should spend a little bit more money and buy good furniture or if you want to save money DIY with real materials.
>>72533089
>kind
>can
IKEA meat balls are a godsend
Thank you sweden
>>72533089
Here in the Netherlands there is unfortunately not much between IKEA and high end furniture that costs 10 times as much.
They have nice stuff, I just hate building shit
>Put desk together
>over 9000 screws and bolts left by the end I didn't use
This can't be right
>Buy couch
>Need Iron for couch skins
god-fucking-damnit
>>72533257
they're probably testicles of Swedish men
would explain a lot about that country
>>72532649
>softwood furniture=bluepilled
>hardwood furniture=redpilled
>>72532804
>>72533022
I don't get this meme.
IKEA furniture is easy to put together. I feel like you have to be a fucking simpleton to struggle with that shit.
>>72533589
heh, you like eating balls
Mohammed might ban those meatballs soon, Sven.
>>72532649
>anything I need to know
Just be on the lookout for the killer dressers...
http://bringmethenews.com/2015/07/22/ikea-offers-fix-for-27m-dressers-after-2-children-die-when-they-tipped-over/
>>72533629
They probably don't have woodshop in Syria.
They make good stuff i guess
also where do the meatball stuff come from? never seen any at IKEA
>>72532649
IKEA is owned by the Netherlands, not Sweden
what the hell is a lingonberry?
>>72533052
>>72533052
>I say steel you mind beforehand and when you go think of it as going into a burning building to rescue a dog or something. In and out as fast as possible.
This is how I handle every trip to any large store or shopping center.
Mall of America in Minneapolis was a fucking nightmare.
The quality of their product is shit. Nothing is made out of real wood.
>>72533985
IKEA here has delicious Swedish meatballs with raspberry sauce
>>72533534
>I just hate building shit
Just get your boyfriend to do it.
>>72533169
Ingvar Kamprad is a pure swede, and actually signed up with the Nazis against the Communists during World war 2. Later he launched his glorious empire of cheap consumerism in the heart of Moscow with grand letters in Blue and Yellow (the swedish flag). I'd say he won.
>>72533629
we swedish man are too weak, we need a strong muslim man to do it for us
>>72534021
The best berry in the world, that makes the best jam.
>>72532649
In the US people think it's good quality, no idea why. In England it's known as cheap crap that won't last.
>>72534172
Kek
>>72533985
In NA, Ikea serves food.. like meatballs, and hotdogs... apparently potatoes and cranberry sauce in the US.
>>72533629
You probably have some engineering background or something from your Toyhood that makes it easy for you look at a "blueprint" and put it together.
Mind you that some people have never seen or done something like that ever in their life until they go to ikea.
>>72533629
Back in the day the translation from Ikeanese to English was piss poor. That's why in old shows you see characters struggling with it
However NOW if someone is struggling with it, they are retarded as the translation is good
>>72534116
Its lingonberry you Heathen
>>72534015
I think only the brand/logo is Dutch.
You see: like Starbucks, Microsoft and Apple, IKEA makes zero profit.
Any profit they would have made goes towards paying intellectual property rights on their own brand name, held by a separate company.
Only these highly profitable intellectual property companies are located in the Netherlands, where the tax rate on earnings through IP is 0%.
Horsemeat in meatball, some furniture pretty much made of cardboard.
>>72534213
Its good if you take into consideration what you pay for it.
You either buy cheap stuff thats of alright quality from IKEA or you buy designer shit that costs 5x as much
>>72534015
Its based in the Netherlands for tax reasons. Its still Swedish.
>>72534402
>the translation is good
Do they still use words in America?
Here it's only pictures, not a single word is used in the instructions.
>>72534199
Are those the things that hangs off of Mohammeds asshole hair before he makes you taste his chocolate factory?
>>72532649
Its OK at best.
I have some IKEA stuff. Lasts a fair amount of time, but isn't the highest of quality.
>>72534652
They use pictures and words, and the pamphlet we get is like 20 pages long as it has translations for Portuguese, Spanish, French, English, and Chinese
>>72534346
My only engineering background is literally lego. And I have seen childs that do well with lego on the first tries. I have no problem with ikea stuff. How can that be a problem for a grown man?
the stuff they name the furniture always make me laugh
>>72534822
they don't use words here in the assembly instructions anymore either brah, just pictures
source: i just bought some ikea shit recently
>>72532649
don´t get stabbed
>>72534455
AW SHIT, IS THAT HOW IT WORKS!!!!
They have a Swedish band playing now. Awesome.
Why would you give up this awesome culture for "allllllah akkkkbar"?
>>72534956
So that means I have a ton of rare collectibles now of Ikea-noir and it's in 5 languages. The market for that should be HUGE
>>72534162
Didn't know, thanks for the background. Furniture is still lame. It's good for landlords that want to invest as little as possible without looking bad in an appartment that they're going to rent but I'd never advise it to anyone who wants furniture for their own house.
>>72532649
>Swedish flag
Wow that's offensive for me. Report to the direction.
>people go to a furniture store for food
SWEDEN YES
>>72534871
Is that a moped?
>>72532649
>tfw only go to ikea for the breakfast meal
>>72534871
>Fartfull
The fug?
>>72533629
People just don't read instructions.
Without instructions it's a lot harder.
>>72534871
>>72535335
All furniture have Swedish names (usually Swedish words or villages).
Fartfull means speedy or something like that
>>72535444
So like when you fart while running to give yourself a turbo-boost?
>>72533629
Seconded. Putting the furniture together, to me, is even better then the meatballs, gravad lox, and princess cakes.
Shit's like Lego for grown-ups.
>>72534346
Also, this. I failed out of engineering school but I had a dad who raised me to work on his car for him and got me the top-level technic kits when I wasn't even 10 (Lego pneumatics ftw).
The common thread I see with people who struggle to understand the "so easy a retarded nigger could do it"-tier difficulty of assembling IKEA furniture is that they are either:
A: Empowered womyn who never had to do anything technical in their life because daddy set up their computers for them, the Honda civic he bought them was fixed by men at the dealership when they brought it in every 30k miles for an oil change, and the most technical thing they ever had to do while earning their cultural sociology degree at Haverford was put together a PowerPoint (using MS templates, of course!) on how while male cisgendered privilege affects literacy rates in sub-saharan Africa.
Or B: Faggot beta numales, which are essentially the same thing, only they still possess a vestigial penis.
>>72535278
thats actually pretty common in europe
>>72535569
> gravad lox
>go to ikea
>get knifed by dindus
I think it's decent for the most part but some of it is absolute garbage, both in construction and aesthetics. The stores are typically filled with paki customers though. They even try to haggle on prices.
>>72533612
Truth
>>72533052
>>72534054
Same. I try to go shopping earlier in the morning or late at night. All the fucks blocking isles and walking slow as hell drive me crazy.
>>72534213
In the US only welfares and tasteless aren't embarrassed to own it.
>>72534537
This. I grew up with parents furnishing their house with stuff from Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel, which is all gorgeous and incredibly well made, but a couch will also cost you like $3,000.
IKEA on the other hand wrecks anything else at its price point in terms of build quality (especially if you buy the mid or top-tier stuff) while looking 95% as good as a nice modern piece from Crate and Barrel or Roche Bobois, for literally 1/5 the price.
Once I have a 'Dr.' in front of my name, I'll get the good stuff, but until then, it's IKEA for me, and my malm bedroom set has survived like 4 moves over the past 5 years like a goddamn champ.
It was always strange to me that going to Ikea is like a day long thing for people to the point where they have a cafeteria and a place to leave your kids. I always just look up what I want online and go straight to the place where you pick up the boxes.
Walking through the showroom maze they set up is irritating.
>>72535695
The patrician IKEA lunch choice.
Fuck, I'm excited to go to the College Park store tomorrow to furnish my new place.
Taking the blue pill and engaging in mindless consumerism is so fantastic sometimes.
>>72534213
Same here.
>>72532649
Does ikea have pepper spray or are they too cuck.
"rapist muslims cant have thier eyes irritated"
https://soundcloud.com/couchtruthing/thank-you-doc
>>72532649
estrogen in furniture and every other product they sell
and it's sole purpose is to turn you into a colossal pussy
>>72536218
I just thought it was cure with an amerifat misspelling the word, its gravad lax.
>>72536494
cute*
>>72534455
The dutch reacharound
Sweden, really?
>>72532649
>Is there anything I need to know before we buy stuff here?
that you're funding a company that was founded by a nazi which now probably goes to funding refugees and furnishing their new homes
You can use negro sperm as money in Sweden.
>>72536968
Rude t b h
The meatballs might be horse.
>>72532708
underrated as fuck
>>72534346
I have absolutely no engineering background and have managed to put together IKEA furniture by myself. Honestly it just takes a bit of common sense (which I'll admit a lot of people lack). The illustrations are kind of weird sometimes, but generally speaking its super easy to put their stuff together.
>>72532649
their plastic cups are pretty based
