What a wonderful fucking Tuesday in the greatest country in the fucking world.
It will only become greater when we have Trump running this masterpiece.
Get in here boys, post all things American.
Foreign fucks stay out, especially you stupid fucking Canadians.
Side note: Mexicans can enjoy this thread while you still can, we won't be hearing much from you guys after you pay for our glorious wall. Soak it up while you can Mexifucks.
That's just what I was... WAITING FOR!
>>72108510
God country checking in
>>72108510
Muh nigga
America, fuck yeah!
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
http://www.news.com.au/national/victoria/crime/a-man-allegedly-linked-with-the-apex-gang-faces-court-over-robberies/news-story/f9646cd0f5d4c32dfc6748ba958cb51a
why wouldnt you pepper spray
All these glorious flags already :')
I love you guys
>>72108510
If you let your enemies make a thread where you can't shitpost.
Then your enemies WIN!!!
>>72108510
>>72108614
>>72108651
>>72108699
This one always triggers the filthy Yuros
>>72108743
Get the fuck out
Can't u read
>>72108847
Just get the fuck out you loser.
>>72108929
Please fuck my wife.
>>72108864
Oi gov'na! Woi ah yew poustin' on the 4chans when it's tea and crumpet toim?
>It will only become greater when we have Trump running this masterpiece.
This one always gives me a chuckle. Seriously though, what are you guys planning on doing when Hillary is in? Going to stick around for the next eight years until the next nigger candidate comes along?
>>72108847
>>72108864
What the fuck do you retards not understand about no feiegners?
Get
The
Fuck
Out
>>72108864
>>72108510
>>72108864
>>72108847
>>72109022
Why are Ahmed and Pajeet ITT? Go pay some taxes, you homos
>>72109073
Stfu
Nobody is paying any attention to u, ya fucking loser
Usa thread..not 'listen to jelly eurofat' thread
>>72108510
posting it early and proudly
>>72108510
>Post yfw America conquers DA WORLD!
>>72108803
>American flag
>Soviet guns
Xa. XAXAXAXAXAXAXAXA
Great days ahead, boys.
>>72109265
>America survived past the 90's
>>72109265
FUCKING COMMIE GET OFF AMERICAN THREAD
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
black people came here on boats and are here to stay. mexican flooded in here and had kids and now make up more than the black population and are also here to stay, along side with illegals ( until the wall comes up). so
with that being said even if the walls comes up you're looking at about 40% or more permanent hispanic population. and if africans russians and foreigners still immigrate here being how latin countries are directly below us they will still prlly immigrate faster than someone from poland.
deal with it.
>>72108881
All these LOSER countries in here talking down on The Great Trump or our Great Nation...
Envious, Jelly, little losers. BAD
can't you fucks read? What part of no foreign fucks did you not understand?
We are not even reading your posts. I see your flag and just hide it.
I love the US of A, can I hang here with you guys?
>>72109212
We already have Mars and the moon under our belt. The rest of the solar system is gonna be cake.
>>72109427
Depends...
DO YOU HAVE FREEDOM?
>>72109427
But your country is objectively better
>>72108510
>>72109427
Hmm...
Boys, do we let him in? He could he a commie spy... He does have our colors on his flag... And it's not a stupid fucking layout like the shitbrits.
>>72109499
>country
Pax Americana is the salvation of the planet
>>72109427
you're already part of it like it or not texas
im coming over to shop
I'm already prepping for the 4th of July.
Literally favorite fucking holiday.
Shooting guns, BBQ, and getting trashed.
>>72108881
First satellite: USSR
First living organism in space: USSR
First male cosmonaut: USSR
First female cosmonaut: USSR
First moon rover: USSR
First moon nigger: USA
First Venus lander: USSR
First Mars lander: USSR
First Mars lander that pussied out of manly landing: USA
That's a lot to be proud of, murican! Oh, wait, not really.
>>72109288
I think I'd rather live in the mexico of that pic. Looks comfy.
>>72109400
Bro, are you fucking 'Merican or not?
Fuck your theory.
It's simple, we build a wall and we lower the amount of mexicans.
God damn... Sometimes your own countrymen try to put a damper on your parade.
Won't let it happen!
USA
USA
USA
>>72109491
FUCK YEAH
>>72109545
I fucking hate communists. No good country has ever been a communist country, and communists don't ever have any ambitions or desires. They're a bunch of faggots.
>>72109560
Aw...
>>72109780
The USSR doesn't exist anymore
8 don't think its that great I have a dentist appointment today that's going to cost me a shitload of money
>>72109358
So did USSR.
>>72109780
>>72109829
Get out losers.
Posts hidden.
>>72108510
>post with american flag
>opinion automatically dismissed as retarded
>>72109265
Soviet guns in the hands of patriots.
we won that cold war buddy boy :^)
Literally holding my Saiga receiver ak74 as I post this.
>>72109780
Shut the fuck up ahmed.
>>72109930
kek
KEK
Keep dreaming Ivan
>>72109963
Britshit flag
Hidden every time
We don't even thing of you faggots.
>>72109919
>Some useless countries left the Union and devolved into Poland's toilet cleaners
>RRRREEEEE USSR DISBANDED
>>72109288
This may be my new wallpaper
>>72110100
>we don't think of you faggots
>replies
God, you're just so cool.
>>72109427
No fuck off.
>>72109963
Still upset over your 7 year old kicking your ass dad?
>>72108510
I love America.Home of freedom,guns and ....
>Foreign fucks stay out
>>72110193
>implying you didn't have Napoleon helping your "country"
>>72110193
Not really. When you're fighting worthy opponents like Napolean, peasants don't cross your mind much until you decide to give them a little payback.
Know what the irony is? If you'd have stayed in the empire instead of fighting for rich landowners, it wouldn't be a nigger sitting in that house today.
>>72108510
I love my country so much
>working hard in school
>almost have degree
>going to law school next
>own an assault rifle legally
>God has blessed this country
>free
>can make my own living
>ok tax rate (could be better)
>best food from around the world
>hot women
>laugh at losers and the police can't do shit (looking at you Britain)
>going to build a wall
>social justice will die
>going to make so much money
>laugh at communist poors
>hamburgers and French fries
>movies
>deserts,plains,mountains, forest, snow, beaches, tropical, swamps. Everything
>police to protect me
>constitution to protect me from police
>free market
>cool cars
>300 million people
>powerful army
>best culture
>Andrew Jackson
>this place rocks.
Australia, become free like us so you guys can be awesome but in the Southern Hemisphere.
>>72109780
Also,
>Implying that Armstrong was a nigger
too much hostility between us western countries, we are all one, we should all be united against the Other
>>72110315
>>72110359
>Implying Napoleon was around during our Revolution
>Implying the "greatest" power in the world still couldn't beat some colonies
>>72110487
No. Get out. You guys had your chance, Europe decided to be cucks.
Fuck you guys, we don't want you wnymore. I'd rather fight alongside and Aussie than some BritCuck.
That's saying alot.
>>72110487
Fucking move here. Then help with the recolonization effort once we purge Europe.
>>72110487
>we should unite with the birthplace of cultural marxism
>we should unite with a country that elected a nigger twice
>we should unite with a 60% white country
You don't stay attached to a tumor, you cut it off and let it die. They are worse than Sweden at this point.
>>72110658
Isn't UK leaving the EU?
>>72110658
do u see a strategic advantage in losing partnership with a huge white landmass that faces you on the other side of the atlantic
>>72110754
Trump coming in hot baby. We will fuck everything up.
>>72110569
>the "greatest" power in the world couldn't beat some farmers
I know, right?
>>72110754
Shouldn't you be doing your daily prayer, or fucking some goat Ahmed?
>>72110658
thanks cunt, 'ppreciate it
>>72110728
working on it already
>Usa
>thinking is the beat country in the world.
>not gods chosen.
>>72110860
>Trump will get elected and save everything! Really guys!
Just stop posting this. Please. It's so pathetic.
>>72110872
We didn't lose, the South Vietnamese lost
We left cause some faggot hippies wouldn't shut the fuck up
>>72110879
shouldnt u be shooting someone in the face for the $20 in their wallet tyreece
>>72109288
Nice pic, but I doubt that the migrants would actually build legit farming communities like that. It'd be more like some shit out of District 9.
>>72110835
Stop being cucks over there. Revolt and kick out the niggers!!!
>>72110879
There isn't a single Muslim in my town, as they only make up around six or seven percent of the population here. On the other hand, every time and American posts on this website, there is literally a 50/50 chance that it's a non-white sub human posting.
c-can I join in?
>>72110922
>A FUCKING STAR
>>72110922
Gods chosen not to die Jew boy.
>chosen. (To get the fuck kicked out of it and always survive, just barely)
>not best
>>72109427
Well technically you're citizens and the good thing is you don't flood over into our country.
>>72109780
It's 2015 what's the USSR¿
>>72110986
Come on britbong, shouldn't you get your license for your butterknife?
>>72110986
>Implying elementary school students have $20
>>72111286
shouldnt ur mom get you an adderall prescription for that inferior high school education
>>72110872
As always we must remind you niggers that we won almost even single engagement what we got in. The issues came when we gave land to the south Vietnamese they were not capable of holding the land. not to mention that the majority of the country wanted to be part of the north and nobody in the US wanted to keep fighting. Its the same thing in Afghanistan with you niggers you win fights all the time but the enemy is not trying to win they are trying to draw this shit out.
>>72110969
Some non-aggressive sissies stop the destruction of some farmers? Wow, I didn't realize my leaders were so weak. Thanks for solidifying his point.
>>72110954
Brit cuck, your such a pessimist. Have fun your police state.
>>72111179
The fact that we survive being around you envy bastards for hundreds of years and still alive and controlling your sorry ass means that we are gods chosen.
>suck it amerifat
>>72111366
LETS
>>72111363
Shouldnt you get your empire n' shit back together?
>>72109780
First dead person in space: USSR
First massive disasters in launching rockets: USSR
First person to hit the ground at terminal velocity from space due to incompetence: USSR
First person to leave earths orbit and never come back due to incompetence: USSR
First person to be wiped from history because they died in a mission due to incompetence: USSR
>>72111170
>USA flag is a collection of stars
>Israels flag is one star to rule them all
pottery
>>72111460
all that matters is that the west continues to dominate the rest imo
>>72111399
Fuck off lubio
>>72110909
No problem bro. You guys shitpost alot, but I put you all above the brits.
/AmericanAussieAlliance/
>>72111467
Because your space program was so foolproof. I'm particularly fond of all the American rockets that send Astronauts to the ISS... oh wait!
SLAVA ROSSIYA
>>72108577
>"hella!"
>except black people, poor white folks and women, of course.
>>72111469
Hi dad.
>>72111582
>I made my country look stupid, now it's time for memes.
>>72109288
That village looks way too nice to be Mexico
>>72110835
If you guys stop being cucks we will join up again.
Until then drink your tea and think long and hard about why we beat you faggots, and why we are the worlds SUPERPOWER
>>72111469
The pentical star is a symbol of power and the deity. The hexagram is just fag stuff.
http://www.byzant.com/Mystical/Symbols/Stars.aspx
>>72111729
Don't blame him, making your country look stupid is a group effort :^)
>>72111625
>Blacks
>women
>louts
>"people"
>>72111782
Clearly you dont read the Bible and probably fails history class.
>>72111729
Its always time for memes
>>72111775
why don't you think long and hard about why your founders (culturally indistinguishable from us at the time) so thoroughly embarrassed south american colonies from spain et al
we are the same, brother
>>72111467
>First person to leave earths orbit and never come back due to incompetence: USSR
When did that happen?
>>72111782
>i'm responding 100% serious in a bantz thread
You need to sit down and inform yourself that the internet is not serious business.
>>72111844
>>72111947
Both of you are absolutely right. What was I thinking?
>>72111982
Sometime after the first person made it into orbit because of Russia's competence while America could only manage a sub-orbital trajectory.
>>72111467
>>72112005
who is this guy, trying to put a definite value on somebody's relationship to something as nebulous as freedom and / or security
nice rhetoric ben
>>72110995
look closely, it could happen...
>>72111957
We went put a man on the moon
We put a machine on Mars
We dropped a Nuke on a country
we may be related, but we are not the same.
>American poster reacts to an insult
>LMAO BRUUUUH, AMERICANS IN CHARGE OF BANTER
>American posts an insult
>Wtf did you just say cunt? Say that to my face and not online and see what happens you uncultured bitch. >Amerifats LELELELELEL
Every time. God it feels good being number 1.
>>72111467
>First person to leave earths orbit and never come back due to incompetence: USSR
There couldn't be a worse hell. Traveling alone indefinitely into the stars until you lose communication.
>You aren't coming back comrade
>Goodbye friendo :(
>*static
>>72112137
we invented the sewing machine
we discovered evolution
we discovered DNA
we wrote a computer program to beat chinks at Go
yeah our histories have diverged, what's your point? we're the best in the world, collectively. We share the same greater history that extends far beyond the 18th century
>>72108510
>tfw you will never be American
>tfw you will never be welcomed in an American only thread
FBM
>>72112114
>>72111890
>>72111844
>>72111689
>>72111469
>>72111407
>>72111363
>>72111307
>>72111076
>>72110986
>>72110487
>>72110359
>>72110157
>>72110213
>>72110129
>>72109963
>>72109930
>>72109871
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8A0uUYuId8
>>72112111
DELETE THIS!
>>72112239
>from kikeipedia
Andrei Mikoyan was reportedly killed together with a second crew member in an attempt to reach the Moon ahead of the Americans in early 1969. Due to system malfunction, they failed to get into lunar orbit and shot past the Moon
>>72112103
And the ship go to the open space and never come back???
With a person inside???
ALIVE?
>>72112266
What you posted was just the tip of the iceberg.
Collectively, Europe has more wealth than the United States, is less prone to homicide and terrorist attacks, and does not interfere in other countries business, destabilising the world while it does so. It is the only western power with a majority Muslim city, is ruled by a black president and will soon be ruled by a woman.
Threads like this are the last, desperate gasps of a dying animal, trained from birth to worship nation above logic.
>>72112266
I think putting a man on the moon outweighed all of your "achievments".
We are related, we are both part of the west. You guys are just fucking up, and cucking up.
If you guys would stand up like men and do what's right instead of your EuroPC bullshit, then maybe we can respect you guys.
I didn't hate you guys until I came here.
Shitty posts, horrible banter, and horrible food.
Sorry, but there is only one "best" country- and I'm glad to be a part of it.
Keep on with your mental gymnastics and justifications on why we are the "same", but it won't happen. We are number 1!
How come every shit country on this board knows what goes on here, but Americans don't ever know you other countries business/problems/politics?
Because we are number 1 and the whole planet watches us, because we are the world leaders.
We are allowed to be arrogant, we earned it.
lol having a history of 200 years
>>72112512
No. I read somewhere that only three people have actually died in space, and that was when the capsule de-pressurized on re-entry. Unless he has proof, it's bullshit.
>>72111399
IT'S RUBIO!
>>72112541
Apologies for the shitty grammar.
I'm on good prescription pills... Only in the good ol' USA!
>>72112541
dude, to diverge from the wider message of unity im trying to spread here
you could have chosen a more useful feat than the space race big dick contest to compare your nation against the UK
putting a man on the moon hasnt amounted to much at all yet
the invention of, say, the steam engine or printing press trumps it by several orders of magnitude in terms of seminal culture-changing events
u cant compete against china on ur own btw
>be me
>38 years old, still unemployed
>4am
>horny after watching 10 episodes of Pokemon: Johto Journey
>clomp my way across the landing to mummy's room
>clamber onto her bed
>MUMMY WUMMY ITS TIME FOR MY TUMMY TO GIVE YOU THE TENDIES THAT COME FROM MY ENDIES
>she wakes groggy and confused
>"Oh no, no Anon, please. We said-"
>she bursts into tears
>"We said I would only do it once. You got your 50,000 GBP to promise to never do it again."
>stupid bitch is crying hysterically now
>"I need to get up for work in an hour. Burger King told me if I'm late again I'll be f-f-fired."
>grab her hair and yank her head up
>NO MUMMY ITS TIME FOR YOU TO RECYCLE THE CHICKEN TENDIES BECAUSE TENDIES FROM MY ENDIES ARE YUMMY FOR MUMMYS TUMMY
>tries to wriggle away, gasping hysterically, but I grab her slender wrists with my Charizard strength
>MUMMY YOU ARE SO PRETTY I tell her as the tears stream down her red, puffy face
>MUMMYEEEEEEEERRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO EAT THE SECOND HAND TENDIES
>she nods slowly, lower lip quivering
>squat myself over mummy's accepting face and pull down my black shorts with the flames up the sides
>mummy opens her mouth, trembling with horror and racked with sobs as she tries to keep still, I can feel her hot breath on my hairy, shit-encrusted anus
>(tendies tendies from my endies, from my tummy into mummy) I whisper into the night air
>within seconds I feel something
>a gushing of release and relief from my guts expels explosive and gaseous from my itchy bumhole, spraying and splopping chunks and jets and gooey ropes of every colour all over mummy's face and into her pink, waiting mouth
>hear her gagging and crying even harder underneath me
>relief is so intense I fall face-first onto her bed, booty naked in the air
>EAT MY TENDIES MUMMY, THEYRE SO GOOD AND YUMMY I say into the bedding, muffled
>hear her trying to swallow
>just keeps gagging and crying
>I fall asleep there and when I wake up at 3pm she's gone
fucking normie bitch
>>72112696
(btw i know printing press was not UK)
>be me
>playing cs:go
>mummy and new chocolate daddy are wrestling downstairs
>suddenly get a hunger for tendies
>walk over to my GBP board, waddling through the shit jugs and piss bottles
>i have 40 Good Boy Points...enough for an extra-large chicken tendie meal!
>i run downstairs to tell mummy
>bang on her bedroom door
>"Mummy, mummy, I have 40 GBP! I want tendies"
>she says "Sorry anon, I'm busy, maybe you can cook the tendies that are in the freezer"
>BITCH JUST CROSSED A LINE
>i run back to my room crying and screaming and shitting my diapies
>get an idea
>i grab my special 5000 GBP damascus katana
>run back downstairs
>as I kickdown mummy's door i scream "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YOU FUCKING NORMALFAGS, SMELL MY SPECIAL DIAPEY SURPRISE!"
>chocolate daddy is confused
>i take off my diaper and throw it directly towards his head
>he screams and falls to the ground, my poop in his eyes
>i then unsheath my katana and chop off his pee pee
>he screams even louder
>"THAT MUTHA FUCKA CHOPPED MY DICK OFF I'LL FUCKIN KILL HIM CALL FUCKIN 91-"
>mummy hits chaddy with the night lamp and he falls limp
>she says he could be blind and that they need to put his pee pee back on or something
>leaves saying she'll take him to the hospital
>i wait 5 hours
>mummy comes back with an extra large chicken tendie meal and a mountain dew
>she's covered in mud and leaves for some reason
>whatever
>but you know what they always say!
>"It always endies with the tendies"
>mfw
> Be healthy 300 pound baby with a loving mommy
> wake up right on time at 5:25pm after a night of intense gaming on garys mod
> Go out to GameStop with mummy to buy the minecraft sword I was promised, to defend against normies
> Feel instant rush of anger when I finally get the sword, because I need to show I'm superior to dumb wagecucks
> I hit the wagey with it, as hard as my big boned muscles will allow me to
> "Anon! WHY!?"
> "DUMB WAGESLAVE MADE ME CAVE! LET ME GIVE HIM A BOO BOO OR I DO A POO POO!" I wittily reply
> "ANON! 200GBP GONE MISTER"
> This dumb bitch thinks she can get away with this, I warned her
> "REEEEEEE" I scream, as I pull down the shelves in the store to block off mommy
> Rip down my diaper, the stench immediately causes the two other customers in the store to vomit
> Put my brand new awesome sword between my bum bum cheeks, pointing it behind me
> Start fiercely grinding on the sword, the mere sight causes all the normies in the store to get shocked from amazement
> Can feel the individual pixel changing as I do move it
> Sword is now covered in my healthy, thick blood
> Pee on the sword for good measure
> I am now the master of all the elements, blood, pee pee and poo poo
> "GIVE ME TENDIES NOW MUM"
> Start hitting everyone in the store with the amalgamated weapon
> Everyone flees
> Start rolling around in the aftermath
> Pass out, because I was hungry
> Wake up in bed with tendies, mommy happily swinging on a rope by her neck
> Decisive victory
>>72112763
what the fuck, romania
>>72109288
Damn Mexico looks comfy as fuck
I may not like everything (or even half of it) that my country does, but I am so happy to be American.
>>72112763
>>72112817
>>72112882
>i wake up for another sing-songy sunshiney sunday funday
>i stretch and yawn as I rip my daily wakey gas, the feeling of liquid splattering against my Magic School Bus undies makes me proud
>i haul myself out of bed, kissing my Rei Ayanami body pillow good morning, but my legs buckle out from under my generous frame
>oh well! I guess I'll have to be a Roly Poly from now on
>i roll over to my GBP chart and check it
>I've saved up a whole 5 GBP! That's a new record I'm SURE mummy will be proud of!
>i roll down the stairs to see what mumsy is up to this wonderful morning
>i slip and crack my nose against the stairpost
>mumma gets up shocked, "Anon are you okay?!"
>i'm bleeding from my nose and it has a weird shape, but I don't care, "mummy mummy, where's the yummy chickie tendies for my tummy?"
>"what?"
>i lift my shirt and begin slapping my tummy like a bongo "your precious little angel has saved five GBP, make some chickie tendies, and make them all for me!"
>"Anon, you know the price for a tendie meal is 20 Good Boy Points. And after the Legoland incident you should be grateful that you still have 5 left."
>i freeze. This BITCH, has the fucking GALL, to deprive me of my well deserved poultry cutlets.
>i sit up and begin slamming my feet on the floor angrily and punching my head
>"YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE BOY HAS BEEN GOOD FOR FAR TOO LONG, TENDIES NOW YOU BITCH OR I SHALL DO YOU WRONG"
>she closes her eyes, "Anon, please calm down..."
>i begin screaming and simultaneously poopooing and peepeeing my pants, but my engine has been burned out and I curl up in my own waste, peacefully sleeping
>i wake up clean and tethered to my bed, a plate of yummy tendies on my tummy with a note from mama jama saying she's sorry for being so harsh and that she's proud of me for being such a good boy
Being a bad boy has its perks, but nothing beats the satisfaction of being mummy's good little boy!
>feeling bad about liberals shitting up the place
>check under side of bed
>rifle is still there
>check under front of bed
>double barrel 12 guage is still there
>check under pillow
>8 inch knife is still there
>check drawer
>collection of pocket knives is still there
God bless this country
>11pm, i'm in bed
>wake up with a hankering for tendies
>sneak downstairs even though it's past my bedtime
>see mummy and new daddy watching something on tv
>be extra sneaky as i go past to the kitchen
>pull big box of tendies from freezer
>ham-handedly drop it and it makes a loud *THUNK*
>mummy hears it and thinks I'm a burgler
>new daddy rushes out of the room to investigate
>he runs into the kitchen and i shit and piss everywhere in fear
>he gets angry and starts yelling at mummy
>'why the fuck do we have to live with this fucking autistic kid'
>things get heated and he hits mummy
>big mistake
>pick up a fistfull of the shit and throw it in new daddy's face
>i jump on him, throw him to the ground, then sit on his face (i weigh 300 lbs)
>sit there for a while, new daddy stops moving
>command mummy to make me tendies
>she does
>now new daddy needs a special chair he controls with his mouth to get around
>he grimaces every time i walk past
>mummy makes me tendies every day, no quibbles
>34 years old
>in Mcdonalds for their My Little Pony toy promotion
>get mom to order me 10 Happy Meals all with girl toys
>she looks at the ground and sheepishly says "But anon, you're getting a little heavy. Maybe you should only have 6 Happy Meals."
>stand on her feet and refuse to move until she complies with my order
>she cannot move and almost falls as she tries to pull her feet out from under mine
>the bitch begins to cry as she realizes I have trapped her, checkmate whore
>she quietly agrees that big boys need ten Happy Meals and she goes to pay for the food
>while she is ordering I get on my hands and knees, she hands the packages of food to me
>I grab the bags with my mouth and begin walking on all fours to the play area
>I slowly crawl up the slide, barely fitting whilst letting out enormous amounts of gas
>once I'm inside the main play area my flatulence has become to over powering that it even brought a tear to my eye
>the children playing inside begin to run out, complaining of the putrid smell
>I yell "get out normie scum! I claim this as the beta uprising headquarters!"
>I sit in the center of the play gym and begin to have a picnic with my happy meals
>I give each pony a bit of cheeseburger
>I'm setting up an awesome play story with my ponies when my bitch mom and the mcdonalds manager come into the play area
>"Sir we have been getting complaints about an adult in the play area. You must be under 8 years old to use it."
>tell him to fuck off
>mcdonalds employees begin entering the play structure
>my mom is yelling that she can reason with me but I don't negotiate with normalfags
>push my back against the wall and start kicking them as they come towards me
>all of the weight of the normie invasion plus my 300lb-self breaks the play structure
>I fall through to the ball pit, the entire structure collapses
>as the normies try to save a girl trapped under the structure, we escape
>mom begins crying in the van
>make her stop at Dairy Queen for dessert
>>72112696
Look man, as a BritShit you don't seem to bad, so I won't insult you.
You seem sorta based, why not fulfill your real destiny and come join us?
I will never like your country, but you do seem alright tbqh famalama
>>72109780
>WE WUZ FIRST N SHEEEIT
Because being first at something is of such scientific importance :')
>>72112763
This is beyond fucked up
Kill yourself you degenerate faggot
But first take a life insurance and make it look as an accident, so your poor mother can at least have some comfort after you die
>Mummy brings home a new daddy
>"Anon, meet your new daddy. His name is Tom. :)"
>"Pleased to meet you, Anon!"
>Fucking normie mom, brings home a new daddy every week.
>Ignore him and get back to watching my favorite movie (Scoobie Doo Wrestlemania Mystery)
>Decide to bring out my wrasslin toys to re-enact the movie.
>Feeling a bit rumbly in my tummy
>Stumble over to the kitchen to redeem my GBP for some Tendy-Wendies and Cherry Coke Zero
>As I take a sip of my Cherry Coke Zero from my sippy cup, I notice out of the corner of my eye that the new Daddy has picked up my Triple H figure
>Stomp over to him
>"THEY CALL ME THE BABY BOY! NO MAN ON EARTH WILL TOUCH MY TOY!"
>BRRRRRRRRRRRR-APPLEDOUGH
>Launch myself at the fucking normie and knock him over effortlessly (I'm 6'2" 370 pounds)
>Hold him down and aim my nose at his mouth
>Begin to blow snot out of my nose at full force.
>"YOU TO LIVE WITH MUMMY AND ME? NOW YOU WILL EAT BOOGERS FOR TEA!"
>Tom begins throwing up from cobined grodyness of my boogies and body odour (havent showered in 3 weeks)
>Mummy comes in and sees the scene
>Pulls me off of her boyfriend and takes away 10 GBP (Totally worth it)
>Tom leaves early
>He hasn't called back since.
>>72113231
Someone post the webm of trump praising our flag while merkel hides hers.
Makes me shed a tear every time.
>>72113258
>we landed on the moon first
This is literally the american equivalent of "muh dik".
>>72113231
im moving to canada for work soon, maybe ill hop across the border and settle in your lands someday (if I can find a nice submissive 3rd world immigrant wife there)
>>72112239
>>72108510
AMERICA NUMBER ONE
AMERICA NUMBER ONE
AMERICA NUMBER ONE BABY
>Birthday last week
>Mama got me the counterstrike source cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green bills in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever
>>72112971
This is beyond fucked.
I did crack a smile at the "tendies from my endies" though.
Sick fuck.
>>72109427
You can if you post more waifus
>Settling down in my man-palace after a hard night of teaching scammers a lesson in Runescape.
>It's been a bit hot lately, so the Coke shit-jugs are starting to ferment. I can see gas-bubbles forming, and the bottles are expanding. Mommy's been getting lazy. I resolve to have a stern word with her.
>Feeling a bit peckish. I'm still only on my second dinner, after all.
>Check my GBP chart and see that I have 25 good boy points saved up! That's only 5 short of a whole box of tendies!
>"MOMMY! MOM! YOUR BEST-BOY NEEDS YOU!"
>I hear a glass smash, and a sob from outside my door. Obviously, in her rush to tend to me, the wench has dropped whatever beverage she was preparing for me. I scream louder.
>"MOMMY!! GET IN HERE NOW!". I start throwing piss bottles at the wall. One goes my window, and into the neighbour's house. I don't care. Mommy will fix it.
>All this exertion wears me out, no strength left. Lose control of my sphincter temporarily and blast shit all down the back of my limited edition Final Fantasy jammies.
>Mommy comes in and looks around the room, her face is all scrunched up, clearly distressed at how much she has displeased me.
>"I want tendies! Now!" I point in the direction of the kitchen, and expect to see her much dutifully away to prepare my nourishing reward.
>Mommy sighs and looks at the chart "Anon, you know the rules. You still need 5 more GBP for a box of chicken tenders."
>"They're called TENDIES you stupid BITCH!" I scream as I lunge towards her. I go to fetch my little league bat so I can bash her head in, but the fates cause me to miss by a TINY bit.
>"Sigh, clean up all these bottles, Anon, and I'll give you the last 5 points."
>Before I deliver the fatal blow, she walks out, and closes the door.
>In a weakened state, unable to continue the fight. I decide to clean up the jugs.
>Go to collect them all, too many for one trip. I refuse to take multiple trips, it's undignified, so I pile them all on my blanket and wrap them up.
>>58433015
>Shit and piss jugs leaking everywhere. No bottletops on any of the MTN Dew bottles (I keep all bottlecaps in my Fallout Limited Edition Vault while their value increases!)
>Put the poopy-pile in the secret area under my bed! :^)
>"MOMMY MOMMY. TENDIE TIME! A WHOLE PACK OF TENDIES WILL SOON BE MINE!"
>Another glass shatters outside the door. How stupid IS this woman? I hear another, louder sob.
>Mommy comes in, a bullet rolls in past her foot. Maybe she was buying me that new pistol I wanted! (I'm prestige in CoD)
>She looks around, checking for poopy-bottles and pissy-wissy jugs. She doesn't know our little secret! :^)
>Tendies already on a plate! She's semi-redeemed herself!
>Ready for my reward!
>"Sorry, Anon. I still see one bottle." Mom points, and holds the plate out of reach. I see one piss-bottle I've missed! Blast!
>"N-No mom! That's MTN Dew", noting the clearish yellow liquid.
>"Oh really? Then drink some." She says.
>Horrified at the idea, but really need those GBP! Still too exhausted from talking, and the shit is starting to pool around my feet.
>I walk over and pick up the bottle. Looking down in disgust, but trying to hide it, I take a swig.
>Immediately feel the overpowering urge to throw up. Try to keep it down, but can't. Still too tired from the battle with mom earlier.
>Start throwing up all over my room. Lurch forward and trip over my Pinkie Pie plushie.
>Vomit hits my mom in the eyes and she starts screaming and vomiting too. The tendies go flying in the air, and mom smashes into everything.
>Fall back onto the bed and the shit jugs burst out from underneath. Shit and piss everywhere.
>Mom slips over in the shit, unable to stand up. Eventually she crawls out. Crying. Probably in disgust at how lazy she is.
>Tendies land on the floor in a pool of liquid shit and piss.
>Not wasting 30GBP after all that.
>Sit down for my meal.
>as I work down the shit&piss covered tendies I hear one last, sad sob and then a loud BOOM
>MFW.
>>72113490
The gypsie is just projecting his innermost desires
Leave him be
>>72110359
Yeah, no nig in the White House.
Instead, we'd have some shtskin Paki, right, curry friend Ahmed?
>>72109427
Sauce
>2 AM
>really fucking want some Lunchables
>wake up my stupid bitch of a mother and tell her to go to Walmart and buy me some
>"Anon, it's 2 AM and I have work in the morning, I'll get you some after work tomorrow."
>start slamming my head against the wall while screaming LUNCHABLES so the neighbors wake up
>"Anon, go the fuck to bed or I'll call the police."
>tell her if she calls the police I'll kill myself
>finally the bitch gets in the car and leaves
>takes her 45 minutes to get them
>look in the bag and see she got the Lunchables with Reese's instead of Skittles just to spite me
>thiswillnotstand.jpg
>fetch the machete from dad's old toolshed that's gone unused ever since he left
>corner mummy
>"You think this is fucking funny you fucking know I hate Reese's you stupid BITCH"
>she begins sobbing and farting uncontrollably out of fear
>open up her mother's urn and pour her ashes into one of my piss bottle and start chugging it infront of her
>she faints at the sight of this
>she oversleeps and is fired for being late
>stupid bitch know not to fuck with me now
fucking normies
>Be in my bed after crashing from a LoL binge
>Shitstained undies starting to stink up a storm
>Sweat coagulating in a thick, gel layer on my skin, literal crumbs falling out of my two inch neck beard
>I guess it's time for my monthly shower
>Waddle down to my shower
>3 am, lights all off. Use my 2DS as a flash light
>Get to shower, clean as a whistle since mummy uses it too
>Shower, cleaning the dingle berries and solidified shit from my asscrack
>Touching my sphincter causes me to shit
>A huge amount of fecal matter comes flying out of my ass, cum from the anal stimulation
>Leave shower immediately, still dripping wet (that way I get EXTRA clean)
>No more poo poo inside of me means it's time for a third dinner
>Take chicken from fridge and bread them
>Put a few shots of fireball whiskey in the egg for the breading
>The uncooked tendies are wet and slimy like my turds, get grossed out and puke on the floor
>Heat up oil on the stove in a pot
>Rapidly boiling oil
>Mommy always adds water to the oil to make the tendies more moist
>Add an entire cup of water to the rapidly boiling oil
>Steam and insanely hot oil explode onto my face
>Fall to the ground as the oils heat peels and blisters the skin off my face
>6 AM Comes by, mommy comes downstairs to get ready for work
>Finds me, my shit still in the shower, my vomit on the floor, and my horribly burnt oil on the stove
>Claims it was a miracle the house didn't burn down
>Brings me to hospital
>Tendies for lunch at hospital while my burn wounds are treated
>mfw
>>72113377
Sounds good. The immigrant women are abundant here, you won't have a problem with that my potential Ameribro.
It was a nice chat, one of the decent Brits on the board.
>wake up at 11PM
>tum tum roaring with the force of a thousand exploding suns from hunger
>put hand down my pull up big boy diaper and poke around in my bum bum
>pull out a soggy mess of half digested poo poo
>smell it and wipe it on my buzz lightyear bedsheets for mommy to clean up later
>roll out of my race car bed and waddle to kitchen
>mommy better have my tendies ready and at perfect temperature or she's going to PAY
>find mommy slumped against the oven, overwhelmed from exhaustion from having to work 2 jobs
>that BITCH overcooked my tendies AND they're cold
>dig around inside bum bum again and smear poo poo over over the tendies and the Good Boy Points chart on the fridge
>at least she prepared XL sippy cup filled with Mountain Dew
>gag because its lukewarm from having been left out of the fridge too long
>vomit all over the floor
>fling my sippy cup at mommy and hit her on the head
>juice explodes everywhere and mixes with the vomit
>mommy doesn't even notice
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>jump onto her and start hitting her in her tummy and num nums
>she wakes up with a look of pure terror, and gags from the stench of vomit, shit and orange juice
>YOU BURN MY TENDIESSSSSSSSSSSSS
>she tries to explain that she's so tired from work and not having enough money
>continue pulling on her num nums until she lifts up her top and lets me drink
>mfw I stole enough gold stars so I'll have enough GBP to buy that electric motorbike to race around the house with now
>>72112763
wow you fucking gypsy
>42 years old
>wake up at 4pm
>my bed is wet, but i check my diaper and it hasn't leaked
>its just sweat from my 350lb big boy body
>hear mommy talking to my new daddy
>i get out of bed and check my scoreboard
>i have 100 good boy points
>enough for 2 meals of delicious tendies
>shout to mommy "FOR GOODBOY POINTS AQUIRED, CHICKEN TENDIES ARE DESIRED"
>"2 MEALS PLEASE, KFC OR WENDIES"
>immediately mommy stops talking
>she shouts back "anon, i can't afford tendies! GBP aren't taken at wendies!"
>this normie whore thinks she can trick me
>i kick open my door in a fit of righteous good boy rage
>lifting my leg to kick the door causes my diaper to leak so i have to move fast
>i storm into the next room where he and daddy were talking
>"MOMMY TELLS LIES, SO POOPY GOES IN HER EYES"
>scoop feces from my now overflowing diapy and throw it at her, narrowly missing
>new daddy loses his shit, but its okay because my diaper has shit to spare
>grab a handful
>he charges me and knocks me out with a single punch
>i don't even have time to throw my feces
>before i hit the ground, i realize the stupid whore finally picked a worthwhile daddy for me
>as i fade from consciousness i whisper "SAITAMA?"
>wake up in bed with a plate of tendies and an extra 50 GBP on the score board for not hitting mommy with my poop
>dumb bitch actually thought it was a warning, not an actualy attempt
Did this vile fucking gypsy scum really derail this beautiful America thread with his disgusting tendie stories?
>>72113363
this.
Americans act live niggers. I think its because they live with them. And the reason americans hate and hang niggers is because its brotherly love :^)
americraps are cucks
inb4
>t. ahmed
>says sweden xDDD
>get out dis is an american thread
>>72108510
Actually, top pic happens all the time in canada, except they do it completely unprovoked and without reason. Cops are disgusting subhumans who only exist to unlawfully exert their power on the innocent. They will even outright run away from crime because that's not why they're cops.
>>72109427
First give sauce
>>72114042
Thank you romania
>>72108600
You forgot the story where he refused to polish a British soldiers boots as a young boy, and the British soldier slashed him with a sword giving him a scar which he had the rest of his life.
>>72112498
Good lord I feel so sorry for these guys
Imagine how fucking scary this would be
>comrade"Kckckckck" you are breaking up"Kckckckck"failure"Kckckckck" lunar orbit
>you look out the window to see the place you were striving for
>the moon
>but something is not right
>you go past
> you know you're not coming back
>until you die you only have the other astronaut to look at
>you both hold each other as you drift into oblivion and wait for the lack of oxygen to kill you as your supply drains away
>>72114042
God bless you Romania
>>72108803
how much hard russian dick do these soft pale beta republikids take up their doughy asses?
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
>>72110754
Our white population literally dwarfs your entire existence.
Get fucked you stupid shit.
>>72108510
>running
ruining
American education.
NOT AMERICAN BUT WATCH MY OC I MADE IT FOR YOU AMERIKUN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKffJc5m8k4
>>72111625
You've met your tolerance quota for today I see.
>>72119803
You can do better Pajeet
>>72110315
>Ivan in charge of history
>>72119944
breddy good
>>72122574
thanks czechbro
hey guys can i join
>>72112537
>Collectively
>grasping at straws this hard
