Which country historically had the best bantz?
As a proud burger I have to say our founding fathers had the best bantz.
>Only the timber rattlesnake occurs throughout the area of the original Thirteen Colonies. Its use as a symbol of the American colonies can be traced back to the publications of Benjamin Franklin. In 1751, he made the first reference to the rattlesnake in a satirical commentary published in his Pennsylvania Gazette. It had been the policy of Great Britain to send convicted criminals to the Americas, so Franklin suggested that they thank the British by sending rattlesnakes to England
France had Voltaire though and that man is pretty top tier bantz.
>>75086763
pretty redpilled fucker that Voltaire
>“I would rather obey a fine lion, much stronger than myself, than two hundred rats of my own species.”
― Voltaire
>>75086763
From Poland's history, I know that marshal Piłsudski liked the occassional bants.
>during the presentation of the PPS party programme
>(count Skrzyński) Mister marshal, what's the programme of this party?
>(marshal Piłsudski) The simplest there is - beat whores and thieves.
The Cossacks' reply came as a stream of invective and vulgar rhymes, parodying the Sultan's titles:
Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.
You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
- koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.
>>75087715
And another gem.
>about his own country
>"Beautiful nation, it's just that its people are whores."
Triboulet:
Triboulet once came to the Monarch with a complaint.
Triboulet: "A noble has threatened to hang me!"
The Monarch: "Don't worry! If he hangs you I'll have him beheaded fifteen minutes later."
Triboulet: "Well, would it be possible to behead him 15 minutes before?"
Once, Triboulet could not contain himself and slapped the monarch on the bum. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A little later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed.
A few seconds later, Triboulet responded: "I'm so sorry, your majesty, that I didn't recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!"
>>75088055
>>75087859
no wonder the ottomans got btfo when they got roasted like that
Andrew "Indian Slayer Iron Lung" Jackson was pretty top tier bantz.
"It will be my sincere and constant desire to observe toward the Indian tribes within our limits a just and liberal policy, and to give that humane and considerate attention to their rights and their wants which is consistent with the habits of our Government and the feelings of our people."
>proceeds to send them all on the Trail of Tears.
Also Diogenes
>When Alexander the Great addressed him with greetings, and asked if he wanted anything, Diogenes replied "Yes, stand a little out of my sunshine."
>When scolded for masturbating in public, he said "I wish it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly."
>He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about "I am looking for an honest man."
>>75088858
The greeks were great I fuckin love Socrates, Plato and Diogenes.
>>75086763
After Acre got sacked and fell to the Crusaders they soon moved on to Jerusalem
They could only go from one big city to another to resupply their army and horses
Christian knights, templars, etc rode male horses, strong as they needed to be able to carry the weight of a man in full armor.
sarrasins or Muslims preffered to ride female horses, faster and more agile this befitted their bowman run and gun tactics
Before reaching Jerusalem however appearantly a huge battle took place with the sarrasins even outnumbering the Christians appearantly. Not much of this battle is known other than the fighting stopped after 5 to 10 minutes.
This may due to the time of season where the mares were in heat, the battle simply desolved because the horses all started to fuck eachother is what I'm trying to say.
>>75089777
lewd ass Netherlands
>>75088603
I feel for him.
He raised a Native child he found after the battle of New Orleans, I think?
Anyway he raised him like his own, educated at West Point and everything.
Caught some disease and died young.
In the same year was the Trail of Tears. It's almost like he wanted to forget his grief through his policy.
>>75090060
>sample
dam u suk
>>75091113
I'm too lazy to fake number all my gelbooru and danbooru images.
sue me bitch
