Hey /out/ I took a shit the other day in the woods, and it was very awkward. Do yall have any positions to optimize the process?
>>631444
Find a fallen tree, let your ass hang off one side, makes it easy enough. Also, learn to squat, it is healthier for your intestines.
>>631444
Squat over the nearest geocache.
Hahaha, when I shit I nearly went on my hiking boots, lol one of the guys tried to shit in hay and his hands fell thru and got hay up his asshole
>>631444
Find a creek, shit in that and the shit is whisked away, you can now wash your ass in the clean free flowing water.
>>631461
this i do this all the time
>>631444
Find tree, put your back up against it, assume hovering sitting position. Press against tree to provide support.
>>631448
Don't forget to bodyslam when done.
>>631444
When I need to take a dump, I boot up my iphone and search for any nearby geocaches; the rest is pretty self-explanatory.
Dig hole
Slav squat
Pinch loaf
Wipe yer butt
Cover hole
Feel satisfied.
>>631562
Pretty much this. If you're not feeling the squat you can either lean against a tree or hold onto a branch to make sure you don't shit on your boots or fall over in the process.
twirl and flick
twirl and flick
>>631447
this. though everytime I have shit in the woods I've had explosive diarrhea and i was too afraid to just squat for fear of getting poop particles on my pants.
How fucking old do you have to be to know how to shit?
Fucking teenagers!
Jeez, even the quality of legitimate shitposts has gone down.
Like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXJqr-gxSGM
>>631657
why did you make me watch a man poo?
For what purpose you did this to me?
>>631671
Just trying to help a sc/out/ poo in the woods. Maybe he's a visual learner?
>>631461
>no one took the bait
I'm proud of you /out/.
This thread is shit.
>>631619
Trying cooking the trout better.
Anyone else here with a broken rectum? I put big stuff up my ass and the ligament has dropped so I have internal prolapse now (not the full prolapse where your anus falls out).
According to internet im advised not do heavy lifting as i might eventually get full prolapse, but I like being outdoors and I need my supplies.
I usually use a small waterbottle with thin end so i can squirt water to enema, I use gatorade bottle, since I cant usually poo properly, it just gets stuck in there.
Anyone else share the same problem?
>>631789
>Anyone else share the same problem?
I think we all do. And let me thay the Gatorade bottle has other uses and we all like multiple use items
>>631444
Write a letter to the pope to ask him politely. He does shit in the woods after all, no?
>>631630
Again, how stupid do you have to be to fuck up taking a shit?
I mean you can shit on yourself.
Shit on your buddy.
Step in it, fall in it, slip in it.
Shit in your tent.
Shit in your sleeping bag.
Shit in your pants.
Shit on your g/f (ok, guilty).
You can have shit falling out of the trees for all I care, what is the problem?
Just take a shit and do your best not to look shitty stupid.
My fucking God!
I remember the first time I went out I found that I had not thought about this at all. It came pretty naturally to lean up against a tree or hang my ass over a fallen tree. I also climbed a tree and sat on a high tree branch just to see what would happen. It made a very satisfying splattering sound when it hit the ground.
>>631789
Faggot
>>631789
No, my rectum isn't broken because I realized at an early age that the asshole is not meant to accommodate anything larger than poop. This is otherwise known as common fucking sense, which cavern anus over here clearly lacks.
>not wearing a nappy and emptying it when you get home
>>631447
Watch for sneks.
>>631444
I shit in Geocaches and then throw them in the river.
It's what God would have wanted us to aspire to.
>>631448
>>633151
You are not healthy anon
You think you're allowed to just shit in the woods? You can't do that on public property and I hope someone stumbles across you while you're squatting and reports you to the park rangers. You people are disgusting, take care of business at home.
>>633157
it's against the law to interrupt a person shidding (yes, even on public property) without the customary salutation "hey how's it going". so don't forget, or you'll get a ticket too
>>633160
Is it necessary to pause and wait for an answer of can this be yelled while kicking the offender onto their own pile of feces?
>>633222
man i was at /fit/ a couple of years ago they were out of the closet pretty much even back then
>>631562
this
